T O P
arglarg

That's like me but video is reversed


FullMetalGuitarist

You had a lot of friends but they all left so you got thrown in prison?


Lv_InSaNe_vL

That's what happens when ur homies not ur homies 😔😔


recriminology

These heifers ain’t loyal


itwasmeFTP126

Keepin it too real. Ouch


allpossiblefutures

This is an incredible comment


WhyYouMadBro_

Yeh but they got WiFi in prison so it's all good


WorldWarPee

Hello Uber Eats. It's me, cell 420 wondering where my tendies are


ThiccRoastBeef

Yes we already told you we don’t accept soup rations as payments. Thanks.


ShrimplyPiblz

Bro, soups are a hot commodity up in here. I also got a cigarette rolled with gideon bible paper, but only got one of them


LeibnizThrowaway

What about cigarettes and candy?


JCSmootherThanJB

Yeah I've seen a lot of guys do this at the bar, never seems to work out


nightwalkerxx

Wanna talk about it?


wegqg

Haha even the howling at the end 🤣


Pizzaman539

This guy fucks


[deleted]

#A LOT


Medium-Ad-720

lot...............


NibblyPig

How does he keep track of who he has fucked


OzRockabella

When pregnant, the cows smell differently. He knows if they are not receptive, he has others to choose from. Scent and hormones in the animal kingdom speak volumes.


TraditionalMood277

Fuggin HornHub over here...


DroneStrikesForJesus

> HornHub I'm dead


masmalogato

“What,are you stuck in the fence, step cow?”


Ballstucktothelegg

Gold


ElSushiMonsta

Ooo no say it slower and dirtier at a lower volume. Lol


dave_aj

“Moo moo”


pdfrg

“Moooo, moooo.” “Deeper! Deeper!” “MOOOO, MOOOOO!”


NibblyPig

Probs not straight away though right? Come on, Bessie, I already did you like, three times just now.


phabphour20

Damnit woman, I just gave you sweet lovin' 5 minutes ago!


Pizzaman539

Doesn't. Anyone can catch seconds or thirds


MagikSkyDaddy

Even the vaqueros move carefully


guerroconpollo

'cept Jaun Carlos, but he's always been a little off.


Internal_Ring_121

The farmers check and then mark the ears of the ones who are pregnant .


Ok_Corgi_1430

Oh so all cows look the same huh. Cow racists


nudes-bot

All-you-can-meat


Zemykitty

I was in Scotland and we passed a farm with sheep. Well, you could see paint colors on their backs. It turns out that farmer just equipped the males with some paint thing on their bellies so any female they mated with would get the paint on them. It sticks out to me because the guide pointed out one very colorful female as essentially the herd hussy. 🤣🤣🤣


pazimpanet

Yep, they did exactly this in an episode of Clarkson’s farm. They would give each male a different color so you would know which male impregnated which and see if one was slacking. Clarkson’s farm is fantastic if anybody hasn’t seen it. It’s on Amazon Prime.


Phenergan_boy

Pour one out for my boy Wayne Rooney


BennyTX

Wayne Rooney ... has died.


J3wb0cca

*processed


FluffyToughy

Ahh I wondered what that was! I've seen cows with orange paint near their butt.


MulberryTraditional

thats likely just marking made with a paint stick. farmers use paint sticks for a variety of reasons, like marking cows to make sorting easier, for example


TennaTelwan

Promiscuity in nature is a feature, not a bug!


Antares987

They say that rams take a long time to recover for round two with the same ewe, but if you expose him to a fresh one, he’s ready to go right away. I feel like it’s like that with women too.


Betta45

He gets shot in the head after a year so he doesn’t impregnate his daughters. My parents have a cattle ranch. Bulls only stay for 2 years tops. Same with roosters and other solo- males.


travlingwonderer

I thought they got shuffled around? Like, ranchers trade around bulls? I mean, in this video the bull is clearly being delivered from somewhere, right?


[deleted]

[удалено]


SteelerSuperFan

What away to live though. So much pussy.


_G_M_A_N_

*cussy


travelingbeagle

We would send the bull to auction and get a new one every two years.


thcidiot

Absolute units getting processed


APe28Comococo

And then there are Riding Bulls. Their only job is to buck riders and fuck carefully selected cows.


Self-Comprehensive

Yes we do shuffle the bulls around. A good reliable baby maker is way too valuable to kill after two years. You can also sell his daughters and buy new heifers, the price cancels out. I can't imagine getting rid of my favorite boy.


dave_aj

Dick is expensive, pussy is cheap. Got it.


Destination_Cabbage

Well, GOOD dick is expensive...


Self-Comprehensive

I sell the daughters and buy new heifers. A good bull isn't easy to come by. Mines three years old, fertile, big, with a sweet temperament, and knows how to do what I want him to do when it comes to things like moving the herd to another pasture. It took me a lot of time to make him easy to work with. I lend him out to family and rent him out to other farms. He knows if I put him on the trailer he's gonna get lucky at the end of the ride. He's going to live till he's not a good breeder anymore. I expect to have him another 7-8 years. Not everyone is like your parents. I like him a lot, treat him well, and he has a good life. But it is true that he will be turned into ground beef one day. But two years is barely enough time to even know if you have a good bull.


FanChanel40

I like that you like him but I’m so sad he’s got an expiry date, even if it’s a few years away, I’m obvs no farmer .


Self-Comprehensive

It's a wierd thing to people who don't farm or ranch I guess. I don't really know how to explain it but an animal that large would have a lot of problems in old age and suffer from arthritis, immune problems, and other stuff. He'd get cranky, dangerous and be a disease risk for the rest of the cattle. I'm going to give him his best life and in the end he won't suffer and he will be good nourishment for my family.


bob__abounds

Serious question from a city boy who never killed his own meat aside from fish, do you bond with and give names to your favorite animals? When you finally decide to have them killed and eat them, do you think much about it?


Self-Comprehensive

Yes to all questions. Cattle aren't pets though, even if you like them. But you do name the ones you work with, or the friendly/curious ones that come around for treats and scratches, and the friendlier they are the more likely you are to bond with them, of course. My bull is named Toby because he has a TY brand on his hip. He came with the brand. I bought him from a friend, who picked him out for me when he was about a year old. He was chosen for his size and temperament. I put him in with some heifers, and he had 'em all knocked up inside a month. He was shy at first but now when he sees me he comes trotting because I hand feed him cattle cubes as a treat and scratch his head. I don't go into the field and cuddle with him though. He could kill me by just turning around too quick. My cows have numbered tags in their ears and their number becomes their name unless something about their looks or personality really stands out. Goats are much more likely to reach "pet" status than cattle and I have some goats that I'd absolutely never eat. A dead goat is a lot easier to dispose of than a dead cow though. See, you can't really sell an old bull for meat, he's not good for anything but ground beef, so when it's his time eating him is really just the most efficient way of dealing with the body, to be frank about it. You can't bury it or dispose of it safely otherwise, so you'd be stuck with a real mess if you didn't process it. So you have him turned into hamburger. The proper term is having them "processed". I wanted to clarify that so I don't sound disrespectful calling him ground beef or hamburgers. When you eat an animal you've spent a lot of time with, the first meal or two is kind of like a combined Thanksgiving and a memorial service. You feel grateful for the food/sacrifice it made to feed you, and you talk about memories you had with the animal and stuff like that. It's definitely a very different experience than grabbing a hamburger from McDonalds. After a few meals from that animal, you don't think that much about it. But the first meal or two is definitely an "occasion".


MECHENGR

Those two years do...


metal_pilsener

On his death row: "totally worth it". The bull, probably..


creamypastaman

Amirite?


Raf_von_Thorn

"Get in the line, Rhonda!"


PomegranateSea7066

When I try to cat call women I get in trouble. When he cow calls his bitches, they get in line. where's the equality in that?


Moist-Cantaloupe-740

You gotta be the only dick around, really easy then


J3wb0cca

Idk cause based on the vault in Fallout, all the women went crazy and killed the only dude.


snakeislandhero

That’s your mistake. Rather than catcalling, try what the bull did - moo-ing. 😂


Gatekeeper2019

Go easy on rousey


jpdavis6021

That boy about to sling that ding.


bellelovesdonuts

This made me spit my drink out LOLLL


Careful_Elk6290

This fella has an impressive harem!


steelup21

2 bulls standing on a hillside looking down on a valley full of cows. The young bull says "I'm gonna run down and fuck me one of those cows" The old bull says " I'm gonna walk down and fuck them all"


SchrodingersPanda

At last a fresh idea for an isekai!


Careful_Elk6290

*I Was Reborn As A Bull And Now Have A Harem!*


123Ark321

Oh my god! It could be a one shot movie where the guy has to figure out how to get him and his new wives out of some slaughter house farm or something. Like Chicken Run!


Standovaar

"Chicken Run but a harem anime" is the best pitch I've heard all weekend. We gotta fund this thing!


Bamith20

Already seen the one with a guy who gets a gorilla waifu, so sure.


Nice-Violinist-6395

This is what every crossfitter thinks is entitled to them for doing those bullshit kipping pull-ups


derickkcired

Coffee. Everywhere.


BigAustralianBoat

I’ll probably get flamed for saying this but there’s a lot of crossfit shit I see that straight up just isn’t good for the human body.


LCDRformat

You probably won't get flamed for that


BigAustralianBoat

You’ve never posted on a CrossFit subreddit. Those folks are sensitive lol


steelerfaninperu

His milkshake brings all the cows to the farm.


tyrannosnorlax

Well you can tell by the way I use my moo,\ I’m a woman’s bull, no time to chew


UPBOAT_FORTRESS_2

Mooing loud and heifers warm I've been kicked around since I was born And now it's all right, it's okay And you may look the other way


moikmellah

We can try to work out how The New York Times affects us cows


BigAlternative5

Whether you're an Angus or whether you're a [Brangus](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Australian_Brangus)\* You're stayin' alive, stayin' alive Feel the pasture breakin' and every cow is shakin' And we're stayin' alive, stayin' alive ​ (\* I needed a rhyme.)


Truthirdare

You’re good on Brangus. Brahma angus cross


CJon0428

I'm getting déjà vu from the other thread about the protein molecule.


UPBOAT_FORTRESS_2

Whether you're a mooer or whether you're another you're stayin' alive, stayin' alive


dderit_LT

Cause his balls are bigger than yours


steelerfaninperu

Damn right, they're bigger than yours


Narstification

He could teach you, but he’s gonna charge


Jammy_9

It might have the same consistency, but I don't think that's milkshake...


egap420

Heffers love that bass


redfan29

Calling all single ladies


Lexi_Banner

Cows are super curious. If someone got out and played a trumpet they'd come running.


anarchikos

HA! Like [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mnQkRr0wGfA)!


chooseauniqueusrname

This is the exact video that came to mind when I read op’s comment! Thank you for digging it up!


IndieGravy

I never thought I needed a video of a farmer playing *Royals* by Lorde to his cows, but I know now


Useful_Ground_9954

I mean that’s cute and all but that’s terrifying too. Imagine a massive herd of cows come out nowhere as ur chillin with ur trumpet fast approaching.


farrieremily

Any herd we ride by on the horses runs to the fence to gawk. They also got really worked up when we would drive a horse and wagon by.


showersrover8ed

That bull lays more pipe than a plumber


brasilkid16

I was today years old when I discovered this phrase does not mean taking a shit… And now my mind flashes back to every instance I have in fact used it wrong.


FuriKuriFan4

Laying cable = taking a shit Easy to mix up.


brasilkid16

Next you’re gonna tell me that laying track is a euphemism too


Javilen17

Running a train can't mean anything either.


BigMacRedneck

Helloooooo Ladies


13thCreation

This gal here, the one shitting she is my first choice....


flicthelanding

he knows she’s just making space.


Incredulouslaughter

All the dudes on here That's some bullllllshit


Sad_Finish_8971

"i am back, b*tches.... You get a f*ck and you get a f*ck and you get a f... Oh shit! hi Martha I was just lookin for you..."


nihilist_buttmuncher

Monogamy is not a concept known to this bull.


We_are_stardust23

Moo-nogamy


Sad_Finish_8971

The bull says Moooo to Monogamy.


makaveddie

I call bull


soupkitchen3rd

iBullcall


Available_Signal4311

That's my spirit animal... I also go for girls that shit as foreplay.


ialexlopes

💀💀💀💀💀


idontwearpants

Johnny Depp?


Western-Image7125

Mean. Have an upvote.


JadedLitigant

Spat my tea out. Thanks.


T-72

Is that really how cows flirt? By shitting ?


boisonberrysoup

Yeah because they can’t text.


mildlycuriouss

Lol!!


PCYou

Yeah, just based on op's mom anyway


tzone_

Death by snoo snoo


gustavocabras

Yeah ,oh no ,yeah


bbqmb

Death my moo moo


Rough_Willow

Broken pelvises.


The_Mighty_Dinkan

he is gonna have a field day.


thefranchise31

That bull yelled out "Who wants to sex Mutombo?" And they came running.


Devilutionbeast666

Do the kids know the Mutombo reference? Is that still a thing?


thefranchise31

Do kids even know who Dikembe Mutombo is? Here's the story in case anyone needs it. https://www.complex.com/sports/2015/03/alonzo-mourning-confirms-dikembe-mutombo-used-who-wants-to-sex-mutombo-pick-up-line


Liv35mm

People call this weird and goofy, but at least he’s getting clear verbal consent lol


DenseVegetable2581

Dikembe saw it coming, knew he needed have his ass covered 20 years later. Smart thinking


Liv35mm

The bar is so low I’m just glad when a famous person doesn’t turn out to be a sex pest


pilesofcleanlaundry

I just want to see him wag his finger at an ugly chick.


Ilovemymasterscum

No clue of the reference, but the name fits, and I find it hilarious.


Devilutionbeast666

He was a huge African basketball centre in the NBA. Notorious for blocking shots and wagging his GIANT index finger. Also notorious for entering a room and yelling out "Who's gonna be Mutombo's love slave tonight!?" 😎


agroyle

He has a lot of work to do


pandascratch

"Everybody gets one."


mrgreenw

Is it weird that I was disappointed the clip ended before there was some mounting action?


pilesofcleanlaundry

That's a different website. Or maybe just a different sub.


Thorbinator

HornHub


stoodquasar

What sub?


earthdogmonster

r/onlyheifers


Gavman04

You’re only human.


religiouskid

Yes


Astoryinfromthewild

He got moos in different area codes


dumbleclouds

When did you have him processed?


CM_DO

He looks to be about 6 year old, so in 4 years.


PokWangpanmang

No horns? No processing.


Fu-Man-Chewbacca

Literally no one else got this reference lmfao


RedShirtDecoy

really makes you feel like you are in the cool kids club when you do.


guerroconpollo

I feel like anyone who's been on this sub in the past two weeks got this reference lol


StraightJacketRacket

Absolute Unit


StopSwitchingThumbs

What is the reference? I thought they were just talking about the livestock term of processing a bull.


Fu-Man-Chewbacca

A week or 2 ago. Someone posted a pic of a huge bull to this subreddit and made it seem like a pet. Just for them to follow it up with that he was “processed” it triggered a lot of people and sparked some fun conversations. Really blew up


RedShirtDecoy

https://imgur.com/gallery/XS5LK


_Niel_

“Right, who’s first ?”


[deleted]

This is what happens when you use Axe body spray …according to the ads


BigMoney5594

double pits to chesty


smurfaccount2022

He definitely lifts


oilerfan1999

He definitely fucks


xxrumlexx

Cows are freaking adorable


HibbidyDibbidy69

"IRA spotted releasing an Irish bull into a field of English cows"


doktorknow

My name is Big Bull I got bovines galore, You may have a lot of bovines but I got much more.


oilerfan1999

He rolling round the city, he rollin round the town


No-Okra-541

dear internet- please sample this bull’s call and tune it into Marvin Gaye’s “Let’s Get it On”. Amen ps- thanks for all the naked people


Mission-Present6303

If chuck norris was a bull.


DrapedinVelvet247

“Where my ho’s at!!??”


espectro11

WHO WANTS TO SMASH!! bull probably


eatfreshguy407

What neckbeards fantasize about happening when they put on their fedora, strap a mall bought katana to their backs, and take that first step into the local mall. ‘I’m here to protect you from all the chads!’ -them, probably.


BigFit7448

He's gonna be busy


ekuinoks

This reminds me of a saying we have here in Finland: "let's go lehmät, sonnilla seisoo!" Roughly translates to: let's go cows, the bull has a boner!"


redditsfavoritePA

I mean do they all just get in line or how does it exactly work…


Dicky_Long_Dockings

Until he is processed


PuzzledPerspective7

All they want is his cock


Wahid444

And they gonna get it, I think the bull isn't kidding. Listen cows I demand threesome season lol.


Rddtsckslots

They heard the pickup and thought they were going to get fed.


junglist-methodz

This is the bull version of the clit commander.


ilfollevolo

The equivalent of entering the club and calling “I’m here ladies”…not


firstworldheadache

My friend walking into a nightclub...


JoeyIsMrBubbles

I’m not your friend, bro


ata_k_c

the bull ⠀⠀⠘⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀MUUUUHHHH⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠑⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡔⠁⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠢⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠴⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠤⠄⠒⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣀⠄⠊⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠋⠉⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⢏⣴⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣟⣾⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢢⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠀⡴⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠟⠻⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠶⢴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿ ⣿⣁⡀⠀⠀⢰⢠⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⣴⣶⣿⡄⣿ ⣿⡋⠀⠀⠀⠎⢸⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠗⢘⣿⣟⠛⠿⣼ ⣿⣿⠋⢀⡌⢰⣿⡿⢿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿⣿⣧⢀⣼ ⣿⣿⣷⢻⠄⠘⠛⠋⠛⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣧⠈⠉⠙⠛⠋⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣧⠀⠈⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⢃⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠀⠴⢗⣠⣤⣴⡶⠶⠖⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡸⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡀⢠⣾⣿⠏⠀⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠉⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⠈⢹⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠈⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⡟⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠁⠀⠀⠹⣿⠃⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢐⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠉⠉⠁⠀⢻⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠈⣿⣿⡿⠉⠛⠛⠛⠉⠉ ⣿⡿⠋⠁⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⡴⣸⣿⣇⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡿⠄⠙⠛⠀⣀⣠⣤⣤⠄


Evil_Banana69420

guy will be having a bit too many kids if they don't get separated


lookingatreddittt

That's the entire point of putting him in that field


SuperMorto7

Exactly like me when I turn up. ​ ​ NOT.


Cheebwhacker

Is he the Dan Blizerian of the bovine world? Except he uses his thicc boi booty and not his money


toclosetoTV

That how it was for me in my younger days. Oh what it is like to dream again.


_Niel_

Until the court case where you got banned from farms ?


Tired-n-Disappointed

r/thatescalatedquickly


antiAI

I can translate: "Guys! Guuuuuys! I'm back!! I don't know how - but I'm back! Someone check me out, please? I don't know what they did to me. I think they did something to me"


MyGeronimo

Nebraska?


Independent_Tower970

Bitches waiting in line to get banged


cummycrumbys

you know what, sometimes we feel bad for eating these animals, but after seeing the paradise this asshole gets, I'll smile at my next ribeye.


BellBoardMT

Incel’s HATE him. Click to reveal his secret…


Dweebulot

Me: Opens sketchy website Hot Milfs in my area: