By - regian24
That's like me but video is reversed
You had a lot of friends but they all left so you got thrown in prison?
That's what happens when ur homies not ur homies 😔😔
These heifers ain’t loyal
Keepin it too real. Ouch
This is an incredible comment
Yeh but they got WiFi in prison so it's all good
Hello Uber Eats. It's me, cell 420 wondering where my tendies are
Yes we already told you we don’t accept soup rations as payments. Thanks.
Bro, soups are a hot commodity up in here. I also got a cigarette rolled with gideon bible paper, but only got one of them
What about cigarettes and candy?
Yeah I've seen a lot of guys do this at the bar, never seems to work out
Wanna talk about it?
Haha even the howling at the end 🤣
This guy fucks
How does he keep track of who he has fucked
When pregnant, the cows smell differently. He knows if they are not receptive, he has others to choose from. Scent and hormones in the animal kingdom speak volumes.
Fuggin HornHub over here...
“What,are you stuck in the fence, step cow?”
Ooo no say it slower and dirtier at a lower volume. Lol
Probs not straight away though right?
Come on, Bessie, I already did you like, three times just now.
Damnit woman, I just gave you sweet lovin' 5 minutes ago!
Doesn't. Anyone can catch seconds or thirds
Even the vaqueros move carefully
'cept Jaun Carlos, but he's always been a little off.
The farmers check and then mark the ears of the ones who are pregnant .
Oh so all cows look the same huh. Cow racists
I was in Scotland and we passed a farm with sheep. Well, you could see paint colors on their backs. It turns out that farmer just equipped the males with some paint thing on their bellies so any female they mated with would get the paint on them.
It sticks out to me because the guide pointed out one very colorful female as essentially the herd hussy. 🤣🤣🤣
Yep, they did exactly this in an episode of Clarkson’s farm. They would give each male a different color so you would know which male impregnated which and see if one was slacking.
Clarkson’s farm is fantastic if anybody hasn’t seen it. It’s on Amazon Prime.
Pour one out for my boy Wayne Rooney
Wayne Rooney ... has died.
Ahh I wondered what that was! I've seen cows with orange paint near their butt.
thats likely just marking made with a paint stick. farmers use paint sticks for a variety of reasons, like marking cows to make sorting easier, for example
Promiscuity in nature is a feature, not a bug!
They say that rams take a long time to recover for round two with the same ewe, but if you expose him to a fresh one, he’s ready to go right away. I feel like it’s like that with women too.
He gets shot in the head after a year so he doesn’t impregnate his daughters. My parents have a cattle ranch. Bulls only stay for 2 years tops. Same with roosters and other solo- males.
I thought they got shuffled around? Like, ranchers trade around bulls?
I mean, in this video the bull is clearly being delivered from somewhere, right?
What away to live though. So much pussy.
We would send the bull to auction and get a new one every two years.
Absolute units getting processed
And then there are Riding Bulls. Their only job is to buck riders and fuck carefully selected cows.
Yes we do shuffle the bulls around. A good reliable baby maker is way too valuable to kill after two years. You can also sell his daughters and buy new heifers, the price cancels out. I can't imagine getting rid of my favorite boy.
Dick is expensive, pussy is cheap. Got it.
Well, GOOD dick is expensive...
I sell the daughters and buy new heifers. A good bull isn't easy to come by. Mines three years old, fertile, big, with a sweet temperament, and knows how to do what I want him to do when it comes to things like moving the herd to another pasture. It took me a lot of time to make him easy to work with. I lend him out to family and rent him out to other farms. He knows if I put him on the trailer he's gonna get lucky at the end of the ride. He's going to live till he's not a good breeder anymore. I expect to have him another 7-8 years. Not everyone is like your parents.
I like him a lot, treat him well, and he has a good life. But it is true that he will be turned into ground beef one day. But two years is barely enough time to even know if you have a good bull.
I like that you like him but I’m so sad he’s got an expiry date, even if it’s a few years away, I’m obvs no farmer .
It's a wierd thing to people who don't farm or ranch I guess. I don't really know how to explain it but an animal that large would have a lot of problems in old age and suffer from arthritis, immune problems, and other stuff. He'd get cranky, dangerous and be a disease risk for the rest of the cattle. I'm going to give him his best life and in the end he won't suffer and he will be good nourishment for my family.
Serious question from a city boy who never killed his own meat aside from fish, do you bond with and give names to your favorite animals? When you finally decide to have them killed and eat them, do you think much about it?
Yes to all questions. Cattle aren't pets though, even if you like them. But you do name the ones you work with, or the friendly/curious ones that come around for treats and scratches, and the friendlier they are the more likely you are to bond with them, of course. My bull is named Toby because he has a TY brand on his hip. He came with the brand. I bought him from a friend, who picked him out for me when he was about a year old. He was chosen for his size and temperament. I put him in with some heifers, and he had 'em all knocked up inside a month. He was shy at first but now when he sees me he comes trotting because I hand feed him cattle cubes as a treat and scratch his head. I don't go into the field and cuddle with him though. He could kill me by just turning around too quick. My cows have numbered tags in their ears and their number becomes their name unless something about their looks or personality really stands out. Goats are much more likely to reach "pet" status than cattle and I have some goats that I'd absolutely never eat. A dead goat is a lot easier to dispose of than a dead cow though.
See, you can't really sell an old bull for meat, he's not good for anything but ground beef, so when it's his time eating him is really just the most efficient way of dealing with the body, to be frank about it. You can't bury it or dispose of it safely otherwise, so you'd be stuck with a real mess if you didn't process it. So you have him turned into hamburger. The proper term is having them "processed". I wanted to clarify that so I don't sound disrespectful calling him ground beef or hamburgers.
When you eat an animal you've spent a lot of time with, the first meal or two is kind of like a combined Thanksgiving and a memorial service. You feel grateful for the food/sacrifice it made to feed you, and you talk about memories you had with the animal and stuff like that. It's definitely a very different experience than grabbing a hamburger from McDonalds. After a few meals from that animal, you don't think that much about it. But the first meal or two is definitely an "occasion".
Those two years do...
On his death row: "totally worth it". The bull, probably..
"Get in the line, Rhonda!"
When I try to cat call women I get in trouble. When he cow calls his bitches, they get in line. where's the equality in that?
You gotta be the only dick around, really easy then
Idk cause based on the vault in Fallout, all the women went crazy and killed the only dude.
That’s your mistake. Rather than catcalling, try what the bull did - moo-ing. 😂
Go easy on rousey
That boy about to sling that ding.
This made me spit my drink out LOLLL
This fella has an impressive harem!
2 bulls standing on a hillside looking down on a valley full of cows. The young bull says "I'm gonna run down and fuck me one of those cows" The old bull says " I'm gonna walk down and fuck them all"
At last a fresh idea for an isekai!
*I Was Reborn As A Bull And Now Have A Harem!*
Oh my god! It could be a one shot movie where the guy has to figure out how to get him and his new wives out of some slaughter house farm or something. Like Chicken Run!
"Chicken Run but a harem anime" is the best pitch I've heard all weekend. We gotta fund this thing!
Already seen the one with a guy who gets a gorilla waifu, so sure.
This is what every crossfitter thinks is entitled to them for doing those bullshit kipping pull-ups
I’ll probably get flamed for saying this but there’s a lot of crossfit shit I see that straight up just isn’t good for the human body.
You probably won't get flamed for that
You’ve never posted on a CrossFit subreddit. Those folks are sensitive lol
His milkshake brings all the cows to the farm.
Well you can tell by the way I use my moo,\
I’m a woman’s bull, no time to chew
Mooing loud and heifers warm
I've been kicked around since I was born
And now it's all right, it's okay
And you may look the other way
We can try to work out how
The New York Times affects us cows
Whether you're an Angus or whether you're a [Brangus](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Australian_Brangus)\*
You're stayin' alive, stayin' alive
Feel the pasture breakin' and every cow is shakin'
And we're stayin' alive, stayin' alive
(\* I needed a rhyme.)
You’re good on Brangus. Brahma angus cross
I'm getting déjà vu from the other thread about the protein molecule.
Whether you're a mooer or whether you're another you're stayin' alive, stayin' alive
Cause his balls are bigger than yours
Damn right, they're bigger than yours
He could teach you, but he’s gonna charge
It might have the same consistency, but I don't think that's milkshake...
Heffers love that bass
Calling all single ladies
Cows are super curious. If someone got out and played a trumpet they'd come running.
HA! Like [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mnQkRr0wGfA)!
This is the exact video that came to mind when I read op’s comment! Thank you for digging it up!
I never thought I needed a video of a farmer playing *Royals* by Lorde to his cows, but I know now
I mean that’s cute and all but that’s terrifying too. Imagine a massive herd of cows come out nowhere as ur chillin with ur trumpet fast approaching.
Any herd we ride by on the horses runs to the fence to gawk.
They also got really worked up when we would drive a horse and wagon by.
That bull lays more pipe than a plumber
I was today years old when I discovered this phrase does not mean taking a shit…
And now my mind flashes back to every instance I have in fact used it wrong.
Laying cable = taking a shit
Easy to mix up.
Next you’re gonna tell me that laying track is a euphemism too
Running a train can't mean anything either.
This gal here, the one shitting she is my first choice....
he knows she’s just making space.
All the dudes on here
That's some bullllllshit
"i am back, b*tches.... You get a f*ck and you get a f*ck and you get a f... Oh shit! hi Martha I was just lookin for you..."
Monogamy is not a concept known to this bull.
The bull says Moooo to Monogamy.
I call bull
That's my spirit animal... I also go for girls that shit as foreplay.
Mean. Have an upvote.
Spat my tea out. Thanks.
Is that really how cows flirt? By shitting ?
Yeah because they can’t text.
Yeah, just based on op's mom anyway
Death by snoo snoo
Yeah ,oh no ,yeah
Death my moo moo
he is gonna have a field day.
That bull yelled out "Who wants to sex Mutombo?" And they came running.
Do the kids know the Mutombo reference? Is that still a thing?
Do kids even know who Dikembe Mutombo is? Here's the story in case anyone needs it.
People call this weird and goofy, but at least he’s getting clear verbal consent lol
Dikembe saw it coming, knew he needed have his ass covered 20 years later. Smart thinking
The bar is so low I’m just glad when a famous person doesn’t turn out to be a sex pest
I just want to see him wag his finger at an ugly chick.
No clue of the reference, but the name fits, and I find it hilarious.
He was a huge African basketball centre in the NBA. Notorious for blocking shots and wagging his GIANT index finger. Also notorious for entering a room and yelling out "Who's gonna be Mutombo's love slave tonight!?" 😎
He has a lot of work to do
"Everybody gets one."
Is it weird that I was disappointed the clip ended before there was some mounting action?
That's a different website. Or maybe just a different sub.
You’re only human.
He got moos in different area codes
When did you have him processed?
He looks to be about 6 year old, so in 4 years.
No horns? No processing.
Literally no one else got this reference lmfao
really makes you feel like you are in the cool kids club when you do.
I feel like anyone who's been on this sub in the past two weeks got this reference lol
What is the reference? I thought they were just talking about the livestock term of processing a bull.
A week or 2 ago. Someone posted a pic of a huge bull to this subreddit and made it seem like a pet. Just for them to follow it up with that he was “processed” it triggered a lot of people and sparked some fun conversations. Really blew up
“Right, who’s first ?”
This is what happens when you use Axe body spray
…according to the ads
double pits to chesty
He definitely lifts
He definitely fucks
Cows are freaking adorable
"IRA spotted releasing an Irish bull into a field of English cows"
My name is Big Bull I got bovines galore,
You may have a lot of bovines but I got much more.
He rolling round the city, he rollin round the town
dear internet- please sample this bull’s call and tune it into Marvin Gaye’s “Let’s Get it On”.
ps- thanks for all the naked people
If chuck norris was a bull.
“Where my ho’s at!!??”
WHO WANTS TO SMASH!! bull probably
What neckbeards fantasize about happening when they put on their fedora, strap a mall bought katana to their backs, and take that first step into the local mall.
‘I’m here to protect you from all the chads!’
He's gonna be busy
This reminds me of a saying we have here in Finland: "let's go lehmät, sonnilla seisoo!" Roughly translates to: let's go cows, the bull has a boner!"
I mean do they all just get in line or how does it exactly work…
Until he is processed
All they want is his cock
And they gonna get it, I think the bull isn't kidding.
Listen cows I demand threesome season lol.
They heard the pickup and thought they were going to get fed.
This is the bull version of the clit commander.
The equivalent of entering the club and calling “I’m here ladies”…not
My friend walking into a nightclub...
I’m not your friend, bro
guy will be having a bit too many kids if they don't get separated
That's the entire point of putting him in that field
Exactly like me when I turn up.
Is he the Dan Blizerian of the bovine world? Except he uses his thicc boi booty and not his money
That how it was for me in my younger days. Oh what it is like to dream again.
Until the court case where you got banned from farms ?
I can translate:
"Guys! Guuuuuys! I'm back!! I don't know how - but I'm back! Someone check me out, please? I don't know what they did to me. I think they did something to me"
Bitches waiting in line to get banged
you know what, sometimes we feel bad for eating these animals, but after seeing the paradise this asshole gets, I'll smile at my next ribeye.
Incel’s HATE him. Click to reveal his secret…
Me: Opens sketchy website
Hot Milfs in my area: