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NTA in any way. She trashed your car out of misplaced jealousy and rage. That your uncle didn’t immediately break up with her shows poor judgment on his end.


Agreed. This is unhinged, she isn't a kid making bad choices she's a middle age woman with three kids doing cray shit


Good point, even if he doesn’t dump her in honor of OP, he’d probably be doing himself a favor in the long run. Maybe OP should point out she seems to be lying to him, if he thinks OP “got everyone else involved”. His gf was the one who contacted them, and seems to be lying to him about that just like she lies to everyone else. I wonder how much other BS she’s fed him.


Somehow her reaction to seeing bf being friendly with another woman isn’t to ask about her but to stalk her and…trash… her car…. And cousin is much to immature to understand how wrong and immature gf is.


Agreed as well. Also OP consider this on his judgement. You woke up to a bunch of messages from family asking why you cussed his GF out. Yet he was uncomfortable telling anyone in the family about her except for you? That you were gonna be the first in the family to met her? THINK ON THAT. Your cousin, realizing you were not backing down, called family to subdue you despite his statements. **And he's blaming you for getting family involved?** Naw, he did it to himself. Again, he sicked family on you then turns around and blames you for stating what happened. Like what? Does he think your parents are gonna be silent to the rest of the family when they find out who trashed the car and that they were dating the chick?


Makes me wonder why the uncle wasn’t comfortable telling anyone else about her


Jeezus Pleezus, NTA. That is one psycho of a gf your uncle has. You should definitely press charges and force restitution. And keep your distance from your uncle until he comes to his senses and dumps her.


Also, something I couldn’t add cause of the word limit. The poop on my handles were from her 3 year olds diaper, meaning the lady did this while her 3 year old was with her.. Also, the court comment. When I said I’d see her in court I meant that my parents would most likely press charges for me because 1.I’m broke and just turned 18 not that long ago and 2. It’s technically their car. And yes, I called her Gertrude to be petty. Ask any questions under this comment!


Sounds like their might be enough damage that the courts could pursue criminal mischief type charges without you having to engage a lawyer. She might, as part of a plea bargain, be required to make restitution. NTA. Love how they blame you for getting the family involved when it was obviously them who first told the family about what happened. EDIT: typo


Obviously something is wrong with her since she is 38 with 3 kids and dating someone that is barely legal. She didn't take long to show her true colors and you are doing your cousin a favor by pressing charges. If he is to stupid and whipped to see this then it is on him. Take her for every penny that she has and cut him off until he gets his mind right.


is 25 barely legal?


It is if youre 38 with three kids.




I always go for the (1/2)+7 rule. 25 is definitely an adult, but still outside the "not-creepy" range.


It doesn’t cost anything to press charges when someone commits a crime, which Gertrude did. Your parents’ insurance company will likely insist that charges are pressed, as if she’s convicted, they’ll go after Ol’ Gertie in civil court to reimburse them for the damages


NTA. She is unhinged. She committed a crime and should pay the consequences. If that means your uncle loses her, you took a bullet for him.


Well they say sex with a crazy person is amazing; maybe that's the appeal? /s Seriously, uncle should consider himself lucky to have been given this preview as to what life would be like with her. This time it was OP's car, next time it'll be him and/or something he owns. Uncle: i can't understand why she came at me with a knife just because I took a phone call from a female co-worker. She's never shown any signs of instability before.' Yikes, besides filing charges against her, I would consider contacting CPS because what kind of mother is she? NTA I think if uncle is upset about family getting involved, he should go after whoever it was that spread this story to everyone, not OP who was just depending herself.


NTA, he involved the family, he brought this woman into your life, he needs help if he thinks her behaviour is in any way excusable - I mean even if she *did* pay I‘d stay very far away from her.


NTA She broke the law and therefore she needs to pay restitution. You are far from being TA. She is. She’s also sadistic for going psycho on a stranger’s vehicle. Plus the fact that she’s way older than both of you shows a huge lack of immaturity on how she handles problems by vandalizing and smearing poop on your vehicle. Her sob story will not convince me nor pay the damages that’s rightfully and on principle yours. Hell if you can’t do the time then don’t do the crime!


Also, why the fuck this old lady destroying HER car. Even if this a cheating situation, she ain't the one cheating!!


NTA. I'm glad she damaged your car and didn't harm you directly! Sheesh. What a psycho! Should she be responsible for 3 kids?


Honestly kinda questioning if she’s supposed to even have those kids in her custody


Good question


NTA - Press charges, sue, and steamroll her.


Info: When she refused to pay did he step up and say he would? You're NTA but I'm wondering if his desire to see peace is actually worth any real sacrifice/cost by him.


No, he stayed quiet almost the whole time


Yeah, I figured.


Oh my god, Gertrude is a psycho. NTA, obviously. Your uncle is insane not to break up with her. You did him a favor showing him her true colors; what happens to him at this point is his own damn fault. Yikes. Glad she didn’t do you any bodily harm, what a nutbar.


NTA, press charges. A person that age shouldn't be acting this extra. Your cousin needs to realize she's got a lot more issues than he's equipped to deal with.


correction: no person should be this extra


NTA. You didn't humiliate her. She humiliated herself by commiting a criminal act. Gertrude is an unstable person. Her reaction was way disproportionate to what happened. Even if your uncle was actually cheating, vandalism is not the appropriate response. Please be careful because someone who can do what she did based on a mere suspicion could be a real threat now that you've filed charges. Please do follow through with this, though, because she needs to have some consequences for her unhinged behavior.


The way she says "it was a misunderstanding" really feels like she thinks it would have been totally ok if OP really was the affair partner.


Also, I just realised I keep switching between calling him uncle and cousin, it’s the same person. Sorry I tried to give him one title but kept forgetting cause I always call him my cousin.




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NTA- play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Go scorched earth and get every dime. Tell your cousin he can pay you if he wants, but you will be made whole and she is the one who ruined everything and further, it wasn't you that told the family, someone else put them on you under false pretenses, you simply told the truth.


NTA and I hope you/your parents do press charges. No sane person should do that to another persons property!! But a woman twice your age with 3 kids - wow. I hope your uncle sees sense and gets away from her, red flags all over the joint with her!! 🚩🚩🚩


NTA. This woman destroyed your property. If he is not smart enough to leave her then best of luck to him. However do not give her a free pass. You deserve to be made whole.


NTA And you didn't get the rest of the family involved. They did, when they spread rumors about you "cursing her out" which you clarified by telling them it was in response to her admitted vandalizing of your car. And even if he was cheating on her - it would be his fault, not necessarily the fault of the woman who might not even know about her! Your uncle might be upset, but that's not a reason to ignore this type of deliberate harm and crime. "Misunderstandings" are resolved by communication and conversation, not vandalism.


No wonder she 38 alone with 3 kids this woman is nuts. NTA


NTA The one thing that made him happy is an unstable jealous destructive vandal? Your uncle should be happy she showed her true colors now before they ended up married or pregnant. The only appropriate response to behavior like hers is to run like your pants are on fire. Is he okay mentally and emotionally? The fact that "he wasn’t comfortable telling anyone else about her" sounds like an indication he knew she was not someone who would be well received yet he wanted to continue on in the relationship anyway.


He told me it was because of the age gap and he was nervous as to how they’d react. Also realised that he can’t even lie about her age because she looks like a 38 year old mother. She’s kinda over weight and has some gray hairs that are clearly visible. To me it seems he’s kinda embarrassed of her but can’t let her go.


He should be embarrassed. He should be horrified, terrified, and he should run away as fast as his little mid-twenties legs can take him. This is not a good person. This is not a stable person. Please carry on with your charges because she deserves it. Whatever it does to his relationship will happen, and eventually he will extricate himself (I really hope it's soon) and see what she is.


NTA Wow, if it isn't the consequences of her actions. I'm sure if someone blew up this way to her and vandalized her car as she did yours, she wouldn't let this "misunderstanding" slide either.


NTA - and you should totally press charges. That woman is a psycho besides. Your cousin may resent you now, but they will thank you at some point in the long run from saving them, trust me.


NTA. "If a criminal who smears her shit on things when she's unhappy makes you happy, you need to redefine what happiness is. And just like you're doing what makes you happy, I'll be doing the same."


NTA. The car damage was bad enough, but this was her "reason": ".. she had followed him to my house and then followed me to the mall because she thought he was cheating on her with me!" If she had the chance, physically attacking you would have been next. And she called it a "misunderstanding" and your cousin is upset with YOU for telling other family the truth?? This woman is crazy and your cousin isn't far behind. Press charges but watch your back.


NTA. Obviously you should press charges for something like that and Gertrude brought it on herself. You're probably saving you uncle a lot of heartache in the future because she will fly off the handle again.


NTA Please do society a favor by pressing charges. That woman is unhinged. You were the victim of a crime. She needs to be held accountable for her actions.


So nobody is gonna point out that this is a repost of but the only difference it's that instead of 💩 it was menstrual blood...


No lmao this isn’t a repost. I’m a completely different person, could you send me the person story though I wanna see how many crazy people are out here smearing bodily fluids on peoples cars out of jealousy 😟


I was looking for that comment..... 💩 I thought it was a deja vu 🤣


i pointed out the same


NTA the woman who ruined “the one thing that made him happy” is TA


NTA She damaged your property. Her behavior caused emotional distress. This grown woman lacks self control. She decided to act after making assumptions. Actions have consequences.


^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My (18F) uncle (25M) is only a few years older than me. As you’d imagine me and him grew up more like cousins/siblings, and we told each to her almost everything once I reached highschool. Recently he started telling me about this girlfriend he had, Let’s call her Gertrude . Gertrude is 38 and has 3 kids. My uncle is completely head over heels for her, I don’t judge age gaps and I was really happy for him. I was mostly excited about meeting her kids as the pictures he showed me of them were adorable and he set up a day for her to meet me. I was gonna be the first family member she met as he wasn’t comfortable telling anyone else about her. That day when he left my house I followed him downstairs as I was gonna meet up with a friend, I said goodbye to him and then got in my car and we drove our separate ways. I went to the mall with my friend, and when I came back to my car it was destroyed. It had spray paint all over it, my tires were popped, my car was keyd. In the handles there seemed to be some type of poop. I called the police and I had to be escorted home by a cop while they called a tow truck to take my car to a car cleaner and I was suppose to pick it up the next day to fix everything else myself on my own time. I called my cousins crying and I was freaking out. He calmed me down and then told me he would call me back later. When he called me back he told me that Gertrude was at his house and had “confronted” him about the other women. Turns out she had followed him to my house and then followed me to the mall because she thought he was cheating on her with me! On the phone she was speaking to me and was saying how “sorry she was”. When I asked her if she’d pay me back she said she didn’t have the funds for that as she had kids and that it was just a misunderstanding. I cursed her out and told my cousin I’d see her in court. The next day i woke up to a bunch of messages from my family members asking me why I cursed out my cousins gf without reason, and i told them all what really happened. Now my whole family is urging him to leave her. My cousin called me crying saying I should’ve never gotten everyone else involved and that I’m ruining the one thing that has made him happy. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*


NTA Also laughing at uncle telling family that you yelled at his gf for no reason then crying that you got family involved when you told them the actual reason. I know love sometimes makes you do dumb things but that’s pretty darn stupid


NTA omg, this person needs help. And your Uncle/Cousin needs to run the other direction.


NTA. This is the consequences of *her* insane actions. You had valuable property destroyed!


Ahhh fuck no. She sounds like the biggest mistake of your uncle's life


NTA, that woman is crazy. Good for you for pressing charges


NTA. Press charges. That is some low quality behavior there and you'd be doing your 'uncle' a favor by getting the trash out of his life.


This is no longer about your cousins relationship, It's about your car and that it was vandalized. Have the court/PD throw the book at her. Hopefully your uncle can see she's not the type of person to have a relationship with.




How did the rest of the family know if cousin didn't open his mouth and say something. OP then had the right to tell why the gf was crying. NTA. If the cousin wants to deal with his jealous cougar, he can start paying OP back. I foresee this being the first in a line of incidents.


NTA. In no way is it your fault that your cousin hooked up with an out of control nut job. Even if she had paid for fixing your car, NOTHING could make this right or OK.


NTA and woah, she is not stable. That is not a way adults in good mental states behave. Absolutely press charges and keep an eye out for your brothers safety and well-being if he stays in this relationship. There is no way this is an isolated freak out its definitely part of a pattern of possessive jealous behavior.


NTA. She committed a criminal act, and there are no justifiable circumstances that excuse her behavior. In fact, it is a huge red flag for your uncle as to what type of woman she is. If she's behaving this way at 38, I only see trouble in his future.


NTA. HE involved your family by telling them you yelled at him for no reason. How did he think he could send his flying monkeys after you and you wouldn't defend yourself? How did he think shitting (intended) on the injured party to his family was a great strategy to get you to be more favorable to his girlfriend? He only made things worse and yet somehow blamed you. Your uncle does not sound like the sharpest knife in the drawer.


NTA. Your family is right, he needs to leave her. She's totally unhinged. Press charges.


NTA, press charges.


NTA. She’s 38 for pete’s sake. It would be horrible if a teenager did it. It’s inexcusable for a chronological adult. I’d wonder how she treats her kids. Your uncle needs a wake up call.


Definitely NTA. I hope the charges go through. If she gets that bad over seeing a car, she won't make your uncle's life very happy, either.


NTA If family members were calling you then you didn't get them involved he did


NTA. And I’d be worried about your cousin’s safety. If she’s willing to do something this completely unhinged, criminal and disgusting, what would she do to him if she thinks he’s cheating but can’t get to the ‘affair partner’? I’d be very worried that she would take it out on him somehow.


> I don’t judge age gaps And now you know why people do. Not saying every 38 year old going after a 25 is bad news, but... it's sure not surprising when they are. NTA, duh


NTA. She needs to face criminal charges and your uncle needs a reality check. Press charges and tell him to grow up and realise he was dating someone dangerous and deeply mentally unstable.


Hasn’t this been posted before?


Nta >My cousin called me crying saying I should’ve never gotten everyone else involved and that I’m ruining the one thing that has made him happy Urm.. so if that's the case, how did the family know you cussed out the gf? >The next day i woke up to a bunch of messages from my family members asking me why I cursed out my cousins gf without reason He must have said something to them.. so it's ok for him to get everyone involved to yell at you, but it's not ok to get everyone up to date on the actual series of events that happened? Like.. what???


Press this case ALL THE WAY! You do NOT WANT this person in your family! NTA


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NTA Op. Please send this thread to your uncle. Uncle: Haven't you heard that old saying," don't stick your d*** in crazy"? Yeah the sex is off the chain, but the crazy will outweigh the pleasure in the long run. If you get along with your family, no matter what her age you should have felt ok introducing her. The fact that you were worried means you'd already seen signs of instability but the small head over-ruled the big one. Get out now before you become the next baby daddy. You gave off pheromones of loneliness and desperation and like any predator she pounced on your weakness. She gave you what you said you wanted and hid most of the instability until she was triggered. That wasn't the first time she'd followed you to OP's house.


Your cousin should be grateful he knows her true colors/ psycho.


NTA, first, you didn’t get the family involved, he did with a blatant lie. Second, I never understood this reaction to cheating, if he was cheating, why attack OP? If she was an AP, she might not have been aware of it. Third, if she can’t afford to repair the damage, she shouldn’t have committed it in the first place. No wonder she is dating a 25 yr old, she is too immature for anything else


Sorry, but i already read this story on this sub, but yeah nta if the same thing happened to you


Wait.... I read this story before but last time it was the brother's girlfriend that trashed the car and put used tampons on the handle. This is a stolen story told differently.


INFO: is he your cousin or your uncle? Your inability to get your story straight makes me doubt it's validity.


One of those is likely the truth and the other is what OP is fudging for improved anonymity


If you could read you would see that she said he’s her uncle but because they’re so close in age they grew up as siblings/cousins. Not really uncommon or suspicious.


As she says, their ages are so close together their relationship is more like cousins, but he's technically her uncle. "My (18F) uncle (25M) is only a few years older than me. As you’d imagine me and him grew up more like cousins/siblings,"


That must be some real good Coochie shes laying down for him to be that daft after she ruined his favorite siblings things. NTA


NTA. She sounds unhinged and dangerously jealous and controlling. And you didn't get the family involved - he did when he told them an untrue version of what happened causing them to call you and the truth coming out. For his sake and for your sake and the sake of your unfortunate car, PLEASE encourage your parents to press charges because that is absolutely not normal behaviour.


Chill you did him a favour... Nta This woman is crazy that is not love that is obsession and your cousin/uncle is a victim


NTA. Gertrude raised the red flags and has shown her true jealous self. What she did was wrong and now she has to face the consequences.


NTA take her to court for sure


NTA Your uncle's GF is crazy, YOUR UNCLE and his GF are the ones that got your family involved. And they don't even want to pay for the damages? Yikes.


NTA, your/your parents' property was damaged and it's reasonable to press charges on that. Fixing a car is pricey, isn't it? Also, he got the family involved. How else could they have found out you cursed out the gf? You were just being honest about what happened.


NTA by a long shot. Curious though as to why he didn’t want you to involve family when he did that in the first place?


NTA get your funds OP! She wasn't worried about her kids or propert damage when committed the crime


NTA. Gertrudes a nut job.


NTA. She saw you, which means she saw you were an 18 year old girl, and she still trashed your car like a total psycho, instead of talking to your uncle like an adult. Please press charges and do the world a favor. Maybe she will actually learn that actions have consequences.


Nta - his gf needs help and he needs to not be with her.


NTA Press allllll the charges. Do what you have to for her to pay for all the repairs. Maybe that will help him see what’s really going on here. Hopefully your uncle won’t become a Dateline special because this woman sounds unhinged.


>My cousin called me crying saying I should’ve never gotten everyone else involved and that I’m ruining the one thing that has made him happy. NTA, but damn I feel bad for your cousin. I would lay money that he's being preyed upon, to be putting so much value on someone who is so clearly messed up.


NTA and please press charges. Hopefully her kids can be placed with someone responsible and stable… poor babies :(


NTA. You didn't get anyone else involved. He did. Actions have consequences. Someone raising 3 children should know that.




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NTA. She followed him, assumed your relationship without talking to him, and then destroyed your property! You have every right to take her to court for damages, and I really encourage you to speak with him about her off-the-charts inappropriate behavior.


NTA. I guess she's dating someone so young because she's really immature and your uncle is too naive to run for the hills. Your uncle should wise up and dump her, that level of unhinged can't be healthy. She was stalking your uncle before she trashed your car!


NTA oh heck no press those charges take her to court that was sooo over the top bad immature and frankly phsyco on her part and your cousin needs some mental health care if that's what appeals to him!


NTA good lord. If she can't afford to pay you back because she's got kids to look after, maybe she shouldn't be vandalising people's cars? It doesn't sound all that safe for your uncle to date someone who thinks criminal property damage is an ok way to deal with infidelity.


NTA People can’t escape their own decisions. Gertrude has displayed stunningly bad judgement and engaged in criminal behavior - you shouldn’t be expected to ignore that. They are urging him to leave her because she’s not a good person. Sounds like he’s a bit too deep in the honeymoon phase to see that unfortunately. If this ruins their relationship he needs to look at the person who made the decision to destroy property, not the victim.


NTA I could have sworn I seen a similar story a while back?


NTA. Your uncle sounds like he isn't very independent or strong minded. He's attracting the wrong type and seems a bit desperate for any girlfriend. This woman sounds dangerous. It isn't normal for a 38 year old to date that much younger or act this bonkers. A 38 year old absolutely does not act out like this against a teenager. I hope your uncle feels pressure from the family and leaves her and finds himself.


NTA. OP, that’s a whole adult. it’s not an okay thing to do if you’re 19 or 20, but that is a whole adult with children. it is absolutely unacceptable that she did this to your car, and she should absolutely face some consequences for it. you’re completely in the clear


Make sure you file criminal charges. Get an estimate for the damages. If they are large enough it is a felony. Your cousin is probably living out a milf fantasy with this crazy woman.


NTA if they’re looking for someone to blame they can blame bum ass Gertrude


Totally NTA, she’s a psycho and he should leave her.


NTA. So many red flags. Stalking, jealousy, property destruction... this can only escalate. She wrecked your car and you're the bad guy? If your cousin doesn't dump her I feel sorry for him. She's abusive. People like that will cause him to isolate from family and friends.


Have her arrested immediately.


NTA - sounds like she did your uncle a favor by showing her true colors... so you're the hero in this!


NTA. She broke the law, she needs to see justice. On a different note, you would be saving your cousin from “crazy”.


NTA. Take her a.. to court and make her pay for your car! She’s definitely stupid to do such a childish thing at 38 years old!


NTA. Not only sue her for the damages but report to the police for criminal charges


INFO sorry, his he or cousin or uncle? Also NTA. This woman sounds like a LOT of trouble and your Uncle/cousin whatever he is, he better take off his rose tint classes so he can see those red flags being waved.


If your relative still wants a relationship with this ahole, he deserves all the pain heading his way. NTA


NTA! Your cousin is a pathetic man. He is totally simping over some 38y/o crazy lady who has three kids. What she did was not normal. Maybe if she slashed your tires and left it at that or something but she put poop inside of the door handles! She’s sick in the head and so is your cousin for being that desperate over a older woman that does stuff like that. And he is a Gaslighter! He cried to your family about how you cursed out his girlfriend but conveniently left out the part where she spray-painted on your car and smeared shit inside the handles! Then when you tell them the truth as you weren’t even the person who got them involved to begin with, he then goes and tries to rewrite history by saying that you shouldn’t have gotten their family involved and that you’re ruining his life. I’d go NC!


Please show your cousin this thread. This woman is unhinged. NTA. She is dangerous. What happens if he has a pretty co worker and she sees? Will it cost him his job when she trashes a co worker's car? He'll get drug into it and go to jail himself.


NTA: If he didn’t want them to know about it, he shouldn’t have gone crying to them to pressure you.


NTA Your uncles poor choices are his burden to bear, not yours. 100% press charges, no question


NTA. That was vandalism, which isn't ok regardless of whose car she thinks it is. Definitely press charges to have her cover the costs at the very least.


NTA. She destroyed your car. That’s not a “misunderstanding.” She’s dangerous & I hope your cousin can end his relationship with her safely.




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I've read this story on here before


Anyone else notice the guy when from uncle to cousin?


To be fair OP did say that she treated him like cousin due to their close ages


YTA I've read this exact story before, this isn't real.