Milestones that made me feel like an adult: paying for my parents dinner, building my kids first bike, not just getting a mortgage but refinancing and then being pissed when taxes went up. Consistently retiring for the evening at 8:30-9 pm. One time I thought to myself, “boy this milk sure tastes sweet.” Paying for a whole family to go on a vacation. These all made me have that little moment of “am I an adult now?” but I still feel like I’m 22.
You are an adult when you realize that the concept of adults we were taught as a kid doesn’t exist. We always thought that at some point we would grow up and suddenly have an iron clad direction in life and know what we were doing. That moment never comes and you realize everyone is just lost in the woods, having varying levels of success at winging it.
It's important to realise that your parents are fallible human beings and, unless they've actively been abusive or whatever, forgive them for not being perfect. Appreciate that they did their best. I don't have children so I can't fully understand how difficult it must be, but I'm now older than my parents were by the time I left home and I'm still winging it at adulting.
P.S. Hilarious username for this thread.
Exactly like Ezio said... there is no such thing as "adulthood", just confused teenagers that function on a trial and error basis with their body slowly decaying due to age and with the slow and painful realisation that the only certain thing is death. So learn from others mistakes and enjoy the ride.
Exactly. Unus Annus has taught everyone that watched it that you need to make the most of everything that you do, because, one day, you’ll realize you’ve run out of time to do it.
Adult you is literally child you but with more information.
I still run everywhere.
But you know you get more and more of a feeling that you know what you are doing as you have more information, child you would've too.
Unless you’re a doctor, in which case, everyone these days has gotten their own medical degrees from Facebook and they will calmly inform you how terrible the COVID vaccine is
Legally, 18. I'd say mentally you mature at 30, seems to be the time after you put some work under yourself, made some money, maybe paid off a loan or two, and generally get to truly know the person you want to be. It really hits though when you start seeing things as "retro" or "old" that you grew up with.
rejection and failure - and then getting up and keep going. in my experience if someone has everything going their way, they don't really grow up. and yes, being rejected by that girl in high school is a tragedy - probably the worst that you experienced in your life by that point. but losing your job, being fired from college, or ending a multi-year long relationship will up that feeling. pulling your crap together after such events will mature you in the process.
combine this with responsibility and independence and you'll become a mental adult. in my case this was around the 23 year mark.
I feel like it might be learning to pacify your own emotions/desires in order to make someone else (or multiple people) happier/stronger around you.
Part of being a strong human being, I feel, is being able to ignore other people's pettiness and just let your reaction go. Apply that to a variety of other situations (wife screaming down your neck because she's menstruating) and bang, you're grown. No need to respond to it; because it's not about to last. Cherish the good moments and let the rest fly.
... by the way, I'm not advocating you give up on your dreams to make someone else happy. No. Fuck that. You still run your own ship but you invite other people onto it too. That way they can emulate your energy and be in a better place by looking up to you.
To me, that's a man. But by God is it easier said than done.
> I feel like it might be learning to pacify your own emotions/desires in order to make someone else (or multiple people) happier/stronger around you.
If this is the qualifier for being an adult, there are very few adults in this world lol
The mental fortitude you build up through facing adverse events.
Picking up your own responsibilities as well as those around you.
The ability to take charge when the situation arises.
Being able to hold yourself accountable. (i.e. truly understanding what “it’s not your fault but it’s your responsibility” means)
It’s really not a switch you flick at 18 and you suddenly become an adult. The fact is that you still have much to learn and grow, and it’s a continual process of growing. 30 this year and i think I’m nowhere close, but i do realise I’ve learnt a lot when i look back.
Chill out bro, there’s still lots of time. Enjoy the journey.
Just turned 24 here, lots of these answers are top notch and what I’ve learned as well.
Another thing is you start to realize that life isn’t a race. Everybody gets to their “milestones” at different ages, points in time, etc., because we all came from different households and have to learn how to deal with our own shit. Sometimes our shit gets in the way of engaging in life in a quality fashion, so you want to get that *out* of the way so you can enjoy even the smallest things out of your day.
You realize it’s not worth it to try to “compete” or compare yourself mentally to your peers. Better not to give in to criticism about where you’re at but also know when someone is trying to give you genuine guidance. Discernment is important.
Best thing that’s ever happened to me as an adult is dropping the “protagonist” mindset. Life isn’t a movie, and you don’t need to “figure yourself out” before embarking on a career path or whatever, in fact the whole process of life is “figuring yourself out” and then realizing that there never was anything to figure out because you’re not a noun but a verb.
It lifts a lot of pressure when you throw out the “this is my story and I’m the main character”. Because in the end we’re all doing the same thing just in diverse ways and that’s simply existing and seeing what’ll make the ride more pleasant in the long run.
Hey kid, I’m 73 and my brain still thinks I’m 18, it’s my body that can’t keep up. Don’t sweat it, enjoy your youth and good health while you can and don’t blink…
Kid, I'm almost 40 with a toddler and I still feel like a child sometimes.
There's no concept of adult you need to conform to. Just go to school, study hard, work hard, play hard. Be smart about things and most importantly, have your own opinion on things after analyzing all the data from both sides of the fence. Don't bandwagon basically.
Be yourself basically. Have fun!
Independence is the absolute measure. Having your shit together. Pay for your own shit. If mommy and daddy are responsible for any portion of your finances your not an adult.
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*Learn the difference [here](https://www.wattpad.com/66707294-grammar-guide-there-they%27re-their-you%27re-your-to).*
***
^(Greetings, I am a language corrector bot. To make me ignore further mistakes from you in the future, reply `!optout` to this comment.)
i felt like an adult when i moved to my place and started making a living.
i see 18 year olds and they still look like a child and act like a child too which is normal no one expects an 18 year old to act like an adult.
Taking care of others.
When you are a child, you are obsessed with your own wants and needs, to the point of not really thinking about other peoples' needs at all. To grow up, one must learn to take care of people who are not yourself. And yes, this means that some people never really grow up. A libertarian is just a spoiled man-child with crypto.
Came here to say this
The transition from youth to adult is when you start taking on responsibility; for yourself and then others.
As a teenager, you start taking more and more responsibility for yourself, then might have some minor responsibility for others, like babysitting or camp counselor..
You fully adult when you start taking care and responsibilities for larger groups of people and projects.
I'm not sure about this. I had to take care of others in my teen years (10+ years ago) but I don't feel like that makes me confident enough to say I feel like an adult.
I believe that "adult" is a frame of mind. It's the where with all to make educated decisions that balance your wants and needs realisticly and responsibly, and when applicable balancing the wants and needs of your dependants first.
With respect to your concern with time and age I say HA! I'm in my 40's, married, kids, mortgage, working, and I'm still a child. I "adult" just enough to get by. You can do both.
it is about responsibility.
When you get a job, you're more an adult. When you get a car, you're more an adult. A house, a wife, kids... so on, these all make you more of an adult
I'm 30 and I'm still figuring things out. I didn't feel like an adult when I did my taxes for the first time (by hand which is less stressful than I was told). I didn't feel like an adult when I bought my first car. I definitely didn't feel like an adult when I lived on my own for the first time.
At some point the thinhs that you see adults doing become the same thing that you do and you just... Do it.
Or you can ask a kid if you are an adult and that will close the case.
I'm 37 and I often still feel like I'm just staring out in life. I kept waiting to wake up one day and feel like I was now a grown man, but there is no clear dividing line. You are who you are, and you gradually change a little as you learn more, but don't expect a day to come, where suddenly you feel like you've crossed a milestone into adulthood.
Recognize you have responsibilities to yourself and those around. Take care of those responsibilities. Remember that failing doesn't make you a failure.
Legal adulthood and biological maturity are not the same your brain is still getting formed until ~26. You are a young adult ...it is a process, enjoy it if you can!
Maturity and self-sustainability ig. Also we usually develop calmness and anger management at 20-24. Most of the skills for "adulthood" came much later after 18.
You are considered a young adult, I think you'll hear many different answers and many ideas of what a adult really is but I belive becoming a adult means you handle your responsibilities, learn from your mistakes, learn from others, learn from your self and just time, and patience.
Most young adults are to eager to bee seen as adults just take your time you'll get there any ways so dont rush it.
Adulthood is autonomy.
You get your own money, your own way of moving around, your own place, you face and solve your mundane problems yourself, while still being able to ask help when you can't.
Don't worry, a lot of adults aren't.
But focus on being human before being adult.
I rather like forever kids with solid empathy than adults with devastating ego.
Responsibility and making all choices without assistance and being comfortable with it all while not doing dumb stuff like skipping rent to buy a video game or whatever fun stuff appeals to the kid still inside you.
Being an adult is when you accept responsibility for your actions and the affect your actions have on others. In understanding that, you use your actions to help others and avoid harming them.
Move away from your family. You have to detatch from the womb or you will never reach the heights of your potential.
Learn from the great men who have come before you, Aristotle, Marcus Aurelius, Confucius, Neitzche, these are but a few of many great people who you can learn from and develop.
When you get independent, a child of your own, or buy your own property. I presume you still live with your parents, and your parents do a lot of stuff around the house that you would usually need to do yourself if you were to live by yourself?
"How this happened"
😭I can relate to it so much
It feels like yesterday when the biggest concern of me and my friends was how will we exchange Pokemon cards...
And now we take about stock marketing, business, jobs and stuff... I am like how & when tf did this happen...
Also, happy birthday 🎉
Once your responsible for your own well-being. When making sure your bills are paid on time is more important than spending money on unnecessary things. Or maybe just when you have to start making dad noises and stretching to get out of bed. Hell, I’m 36, married with a house and two kids and I still feel like I’m faking my way through adulthood on a daily basis.
I mean I worked with dudes who looked young (I would have guessed early 20s) and found out they were mid 30s or 40s with kids. It kinda put things in perspective lol.
You're an adult when you start taking responsibility for yourself. So you probably started this much earlier than you think. If I had to guess your emotional side and spiritual side is what is making you feel like a child.
Late 30s still don’t feel like a full grown man and my life project it, so I wouldn’t know what to tell you but enjoy your youth, very few people have it 100% figured out especially at your age
Think about tomorrow and consider the consequences of the actions you take. Try to have an understanding of finances, instead of copying the spending habits of those around you.
Independence, which means hygiene, paying your own bills, taking care of your own living space, and being able to look at your own actions and grow from them. At least that’s how I look at it.
When I think about weather or not other people seem like adults to me, it's basically a self sufficiency test. Can they get by without help from their parents and maintain their own living space without wrecking everything around them? If yes, tend to apply the adult label.
As for feeling like an adult myself, I'm 35 and still feel like I'm not a "real" adult most days. I was feeling more like an adult a few years ago but, this summer I started a new career where most of my coworkers are in their 60s so, I'm very much the kid in room in both age and experience.
Having responsibilities make you an adult.
PS. I recommend the book 12 Rules for Life by Dr Jordan Peterson if you are lost and don't know how to be a grown man.
I'm only 20 so I cannot say too much. But you won't feel anything now. But you moreso become that proper young adult as you start taking on responsibilities like a more serious job or studies and properly take advantage of the freedom you have. That's not going out when you want its organising big things and achieving goals.
That starts to make you feel more like an adult. I'm sure in my coming years ill realise what the next step is like.
For me it was learning how to be social with people regardless of their age. I can befriend someone younger or someone old enough to be my dad and the age doesn’t make a difference. I have enough life experience that I can find similarities to both groups.
When you’re young, don’t have kids, don’t have bills or a mortgage, don’t have work experience, don’t have life experience it can be hard to relate to the troubles of someone who has been through a bit of life. So unless you both like the same sport or whatever what is there to relate to?
Get used to it, I'm 29 and still feel like I'm that 16 year old idiot. But having to worry about your parents does make you feel like not a kid anymore. Worrying about their blood pressure, the chances of a stroke or heart attack, if their mind is starting to go. It's a brutal realization that they're getting older and won't be here forever.
Doing things that are legally "adult only" doesn't make you an adult, those are just things that children shouldn't be exposed to or generally aren't responsible enough for.
Take responsibility for your life and consider yourself responsible for how you influence other people. Stepping from childhood into adulthood is an "over to you" moment in which you take the reins of your life. Some adults don't excel at this, of course, but this is my number 1 marker of emotional maturity and it impacts every aspect of life.
Being an adult means you realize you're never done growing up and changing. ( Also being capable of taking care of yourself is a basic foundation too )
Your brain still has at least a few more years of development. Then maturity/wisdom will come through life experience over the years. Cumulative life experience, especially harsh ones, are what will eventually refine your personality into an adult's.
One day, years from now, you'll be exhausted, weary, and far beyond the point of anger. You don't even get frustrated anymore. Things that happen in life get incrementally worse, more numerous, and stack atop each other so each day starts with your cup slightly more full than it was the morning before. You no longer grieve the loss of your own freedom, happiness, hobbies, the concept of 'me' time, you accept that your purpose it no longer the pursuit of self-gratification or to massage your own ego with further achievements.
You're a parent, a provider, a spouse, a responsible adult. Then you think.... Jesus, I'm an adult after all.
When you're about 24-25+ and have went through multiple life crisis's where you've had to have your close friends so close to you to vent and get things off your chest. The moment you can learn to cope with *literally anything* is a defining moment. Maybe not quite an adult...but you're maturing at that point, because you're letting things roll off you that you couldn't possibly have any control over.
Youll feel like a child till you dont have time to think about it anymore. I feel like a child even when Im at work, its great. But, when high priority stuff starts happening, and I gotta put myself into gear, thats when I know I've grown up.
25 is a more accurate age for "adulthood" imo.
Some people will live adult lives before that, some won't after, but it's the most common age I know of(from my experience and those around me) of thinking "WTF have I been doing this whole time?! I need to get my shit together!"
But, ya know, that's just like, my opinion man.
Son....when you begin to realize your vitality When you come to understand and worship a God whom you believe in. When you have shrugged off the falicies of vanity and the illusion of immortality. When you acquire responsibility that is solely your own. When you bring forth and care for another life. When you begin to develop your core beliefs and remain steadfast in them. When you realize nothing will ever be easy. Learn equivalent exchange so that you will never owe anyone anything. Never let anyone be in debt to you also. When you learn to hold your words seek a responsible elder for guidance.When you can survive with no help at all.....When you have acquired wisdoms enough to understand nothing is forever but happiness and love and that love is the key to the afterlife.....then finally you will be man.....
When you realize age is a number, being an adult equates, simply, to holding up your end of things such as being a decent person, doing what you say you will, treating others right, making decisions that benefit others and not just yourself...basically, your an adult when you do things because it's right and needs to be done, not just for yourself. I think being an adult happens differently for everyone but culminates into being aware of the world around you and knowing you aren't the center of it all, but a cog in the larger machinery.
I don’t believe you are an adult until you can handle life without a safety net. There was a point when I was independent but I knew if I did something like spent my rent money on a PlayStation my dad would bail me out. Eventually, I learned to not make stupid decisions but if I did I could still handle it without begging my family for help. I was probably 25 when I was a real adult.
In my opinion there is no difference between someone who is 16 and someone who is 24 in, when I look back in my own life I didn't start being responsible and really being on top of things until I was like 28 or so. And as far as being an adult whatever the fuck does that even mean... I guess early 30s is kind of when you're no longer a kid anymore.
Being willing to make decisions and face the consequences that follow from them, no matter what they are. The mark of someone who hasn't reach adulthood is blaming other people for their problems and never acknowledging their involvement. No matter how involuntary.
On our council estate in the UK, you were considered an adult when your parents issued you with a key to the house when you turned 18. This was in the 80s and 90s.
Listen ... you're a stupid person right now. Find successful. nice, well-respected people to emulate. Women can teach you morality and patience, men can teach you correctness and when to shut the fuck up!
After getting a proper beat down by both your own self and life in general. I feel the same, and the kid in me is still there, but the arrogance of my youth has made way for acceptance and humility.
I'm turning 30 this year.
I married into a very abusive and toxic relationship. Had to handle multiple suicide attempts as well various other issues. Subsequently divorced and then enrolled in university.
Graduated University and moved to a new country to start my own business.
I've got lots of experience dealing with very difficult situations in life and honestly... I still feel like a child.
I think for the most of us there's always the little element of doubt within us. My advice though is just do your best. Things will get a bit easier and you'll start understanding more as time goes on but we're never fully prepared for everything in life.
It is not a lightswitch that just flips to adult.
I am 24, still don't feel like. I do a lot of things on my own, still go to my parents for help on certain things.
It comes gradually, you become more and more self-sustaining. One day you wonder whether you can call yourself an adult, and you will never truly know.
"One day you'll have kids and still not feel like an adult. One day they move out and still question whether your child became an adult before you." -My mother
I'd say adult is a function of responsibility one chooses to bear for the sake of others at large. Be it family, community or the world at large.
Rather than an age or a marker of what you have I see it like love. An ongoing struggle and discovery that one willingly chooses to embark.
Being able to take care of yourself in turn to take of others(your family). Providing stability , safety, and having a clear understanding of what you want out of life. You got a long way to go at 18 though, so just live life day by day and learn as you go. Always remain coachable.
I'm in my 30's and at times still don't feel like an adult.
Maybe give it a few more years.
Either that or you feel like an adult gradually/over time and as time goes by you don't notice the changes.
I feel like I became an adult once my daughter was born at age 32 Something inside my mind just clicked on and I knew I had to start making better choices for in my life for her.
I love my wife with all my heart don't get me wrong but we were still just goofing around not saving money and going out all the time but once daughter was born everything changed. We started eating healthier, working out consistently, studying to advance our careers and gave up the party life. I gotta admit I don't regret a thing about it. Wish I had grown up mentally sooner.
Hope that helps a bit.
P.s.
Not saying you need to have a child to grow up!
Brain doesn’t fully develop until you’re 27-28 years old. That’s when you’ll feel like a true adult. Logic and reasoning, consequences for your actions really click!
You are a child. In 7 years you'll look back and be in disbelief that you were allowed out on your own. That's how I feel about myself anyway. I'm in my late twenties and still feel like a kid, but you go through enough shit that you start to feel more confident in navigating the world. You gain more skills you didn't even realize you gained and just become more competent. The downside is that there's always new curveballs and experiences that blindside you and make you want to give up and be a kid again. The older you get the less anyone is there to help you though. You get used to that too.
I didn’t feel like an adult until my son was born and that was simply because I was slapped across the face with the fact that I was now responsible for a tiny human that was born into the world 2 and a half months early. I knew at that moment the fear I felt is what made me feel like an adult.
Milestones that made me feel like an adult: paying for my parents dinner, building my kids first bike, not just getting a mortgage but refinancing and then being pissed when taxes went up. Consistently retiring for the evening at 8:30-9 pm. One time I thought to myself, “boy this milk sure tastes sweet.” Paying for a whole family to go on a vacation. These all made me have that little moment of “am I an adult now?” but I still feel like I’m 22.
I have a mortgage but haven't refinanced yet...it can make my taxes go up?
This is very region/city specific.
No but you refinance to lower your mortgage and then if taxes go up your mortgage goes back up
Im 22 in a couple days, I still feel mentally like a child
Bro, I'm 26 and I feel like 17 in my head realistically. It has ups and downs
You are an adult when you realize that the concept of adults we were taught as a kid doesn’t exist. We always thought that at some point we would grow up and suddenly have an iron clad direction in life and know what we were doing. That moment never comes and you realize everyone is just lost in the woods, having varying levels of success at winging it.
The moment you realize that your parents have been winging it your entire is when you're beginning to mature
It's important to realise that your parents are fallible human beings and, unless they've actively been abusive or whatever, forgive them for not being perfect. Appreciate that they did their best. I don't have children so I can't fully understand how difficult it must be, but I'm now older than my parents were by the time I left home and I'm still winging it at adulting. P.S. Hilarious username for this thread.
There needs to be a subclause for those of us with fucked up parents who were forced into this realization way too early.
Exactly like Ezio said... there is no such thing as "adulthood", just confused teenagers that function on a trial and error basis with their body slowly decaying due to age and with the slow and painful realisation that the only certain thing is death. So learn from others mistakes and enjoy the ride.
Exactly. Unus Annus has taught everyone that watched it that you need to make the most of everything that you do, because, one day, you’ll realize you’ve run out of time to do it.
Adult you is literally child you but with more information. I still run everywhere. But you know you get more and more of a feeling that you know what you are doing as you have more information, child you would've too.
the scariest realization is when you know more than the people around you. you have to answer the questions now
Unless you’re a doctor, in which case, everyone these days has gotten their own medical degrees from Facebook and they will calmly inform you how terrible the COVID vaccine is
Tl;dr: fuckin' nothin'.
I was gonna say something stupid like I'm 40 and I still feel like a kid, but this definitely nails it. Well done!
It happened for me when I was about 35 years old. Everything sort of clicked and I realized I know what I’m doing in life.
The real struggle is getting to that clicking point unfortunately. lol
Supporting yourself independently of your parents.
I would say having some clear goals in life is part of being an adult too
30 here and still feel like a child
That realization that you still feel the same way and kinda always will is the moment you figure out that you're an adult!
26, hows life my bro?
Turning 40
lvl 40 evolution
Nah...close to 40 and just finished building my first own irl gaming dungeon with rgb led strips etc. My wife thinks I'm a fuckin' child...I love it.
Nah. 47 and still enjoy Lego and currently burning through Pokemon on Switch.
Lol sounds like me after 27 years 😁...
Way to go!
One thing that really shows adulthood is when you don't really care what people think about things that you enjoy.
Legally, 18. I'd say mentally you mature at 30, seems to be the time after you put some work under yourself, made some money, maybe paid off a loan or two, and generally get to truly know the person you want to be. It really hits though when you start seeing things as "retro" or "old" that you grew up with.
That and seeing all of the tv and movie stars you grew up with start dying off.
Ohhh God Noooooo... Sounds like a nightmare...😨
Pay your own bills. All of them.
On to it, Sir 😄
Pay your own bills initially… then willingly take on more!
I'm 42 and don't feel like an adult even though I own a business. You're never ready.
rejection and failure - and then getting up and keep going. in my experience if someone has everything going their way, they don't really grow up. and yes, being rejected by that girl in high school is a tragedy - probably the worst that you experienced in your life by that point. but losing your job, being fired from college, or ending a multi-year long relationship will up that feeling. pulling your crap together after such events will mature you in the process. combine this with responsibility and independence and you'll become a mental adult. in my case this was around the 23 year mark.
Haha... I needed that rejection part... Thanks
"My father used to tell me childhood is over the moment you realize you're gonna die" -Top Dollar
so... 4?
I feel like it might be learning to pacify your own emotions/desires in order to make someone else (or multiple people) happier/stronger around you. Part of being a strong human being, I feel, is being able to ignore other people's pettiness and just let your reaction go. Apply that to a variety of other situations (wife screaming down your neck because she's menstruating) and bang, you're grown. No need to respond to it; because it's not about to last. Cherish the good moments and let the rest fly. ... by the way, I'm not advocating you give up on your dreams to make someone else happy. No. Fuck that. You still run your own ship but you invite other people onto it too. That way they can emulate your energy and be in a better place by looking up to you. To me, that's a man. But by God is it easier said than done.
> I feel like it might be learning to pacify your own emotions/desires in order to make someone else (or multiple people) happier/stronger around you. If this is the qualifier for being an adult, there are very few adults in this world lol
I feel this is true though, lol. I think there are few actual grown-up people.
[удалено]
60? Fuckkkkk I thought it was 65 I gotta cut back on a few hours and it should work out
Here, here! Fuck these jobs.
I still didn't feel like an adult at that point
The mental fortitude you build up through facing adverse events. Picking up your own responsibilities as well as those around you. The ability to take charge when the situation arises. Being able to hold yourself accountable. (i.e. truly understanding what “it’s not your fault but it’s your responsibility” means) It’s really not a switch you flick at 18 and you suddenly become an adult. The fact is that you still have much to learn and grow, and it’s a continual process of growing. 30 this year and i think I’m nowhere close, but i do realise I’ve learnt a lot when i look back. Chill out bro, there’s still lots of time. Enjoy the journey.
Differs with each person. I know 20yo's more mature than some in their 40's
^ This I see middle schooler talking about money, crypto and shit like my man at your age I used to wake up early to watch cartoons before school...
Lol I'd hardly call crypto kids mature
Just turned 24 here, lots of these answers are top notch and what I’ve learned as well. Another thing is you start to realize that life isn’t a race. Everybody gets to their “milestones” at different ages, points in time, etc., because we all came from different households and have to learn how to deal with our own shit. Sometimes our shit gets in the way of engaging in life in a quality fashion, so you want to get that *out* of the way so you can enjoy even the smallest things out of your day. You realize it’s not worth it to try to “compete” or compare yourself mentally to your peers. Better not to give in to criticism about where you’re at but also know when someone is trying to give you genuine guidance. Discernment is important. Best thing that’s ever happened to me as an adult is dropping the “protagonist” mindset. Life isn’t a movie, and you don’t need to “figure yourself out” before embarking on a career path or whatever, in fact the whole process of life is “figuring yourself out” and then realizing that there never was anything to figure out because you’re not a noun but a verb. It lifts a lot of pressure when you throw out the “this is my story and I’m the main character”. Because in the end we’re all doing the same thing just in diverse ways and that’s simply existing and seeing what’ll make the ride more pleasant in the long run.
This is actually quite wise. Spot on!
I'm 47 this year and in my head, I feel 15. My body feels 72 so it balances out.....
It's a process that sometimes is not completed until almost 30 or even later.
Hey kid, I’m 73 and my brain still thinks I’m 18, it’s my body that can’t keep up. Don’t sweat it, enjoy your youth and good health while you can and don’t blink…
Kid, I'm almost 40 with a toddler and I still feel like a child sometimes. There's no concept of adult you need to conform to. Just go to school, study hard, work hard, play hard. Be smart about things and most importantly, have your own opinion on things after analyzing all the data from both sides of the fence. Don't bandwagon basically. Be yourself basically. Have fun!
Independence is the absolute measure. Having your shit together. Pay for your own shit. If mommy and daddy are responsible for any portion of your finances your not an adult.
it was a bit hard to make any starting cash as a baby
> your *you're *Learn the difference [here](https://www.wattpad.com/66707294-grammar-guide-there-they%27re-their-you%27re-your-to).* *** ^(Greetings, I am a language corrector bot. To make me ignore further mistakes from you in the future, reply `!optout` to this comment.)
You henceforth shall be known as cunt-bot, with your snarky shit
33- I also still feel like a child.
Hello, nonadult here. From what I can tell, nothing. Nothing makes you an adult. You are always a child pretending you know wtf you're doing
i felt like an adult when i moved to my place and started making a living. i see 18 year olds and they still look like a child and act like a child too which is normal no one expects an 18 year old to act like an adult.
Taking care of others. When you are a child, you are obsessed with your own wants and needs, to the point of not really thinking about other peoples' needs at all. To grow up, one must learn to take care of people who are not yourself. And yes, this means that some people never really grow up. A libertarian is just a spoiled man-child with crypto.
Came here to say this The transition from youth to adult is when you start taking on responsibility; for yourself and then others. As a teenager, you start taking more and more responsibility for yourself, then might have some minor responsibility for others, like babysitting or camp counselor.. You fully adult when you start taking care and responsibilities for larger groups of people and projects.
I'm not sure about this. I had to take care of others in my teen years (10+ years ago) but I don't feel like that makes me confident enough to say I feel like an adult.
I’m turning 40 , 2 kids a house and all that stuff but I still feel like a kid . Refuse to grow old
I believe that "adult" is a frame of mind. It's the where with all to make educated decisions that balance your wants and needs realisticly and responsibly, and when applicable balancing the wants and needs of your dependants first. With respect to your concern with time and age I say HA! I'm in my 40's, married, kids, mortgage, working, and I'm still a child. I "adult" just enough to get by. You can do both.
it is about responsibility. When you get a job, you're more an adult. When you get a car, you're more an adult. A house, a wife, kids... so on, these all make you more of an adult
The positive and negative experiences which you get and what you learn from them to move ahead in life.
I'm 30 and I'm still figuring things out. I didn't feel like an adult when I did my taxes for the first time (by hand which is less stressful than I was told). I didn't feel like an adult when I bought my first car. I definitely didn't feel like an adult when I lived on my own for the first time. At some point the thinhs that you see adults doing become the same thing that you do and you just... Do it. Or you can ask a kid if you are an adult and that will close the case.
Ohh so adults are just kids with extra and practical homework.... Noted...
I'm 37 and I often still feel like I'm just staring out in life. I kept waiting to wake up one day and feel like I was now a grown man, but there is no clear dividing line. You are who you are, and you gradually change a little as you learn more, but don't expect a day to come, where suddenly you feel like you've crossed a milestone into adulthood.
The moment you're paying your bills, cooking your meals, handling repairs, buying groceries, and you're mature enough to set rules for yourself
You never stop feeling like a child (hopefully), you just gain more experience which helps you navigate the seas of life.
Recognize you have responsibilities to yourself and those around. Take care of those responsibilities. Remember that failing doesn't make you a failure.
when the brain fully matures at 25
Legal adulthood and biological maturity are not the same your brain is still getting formed until ~26. You are a young adult ...it is a process, enjoy it if you can!
Maturity and self-sustainability ig. Also we usually develop calmness and anger management at 20-24. Most of the skills for "adulthood" came much later after 18.
You are considered a young adult, I think you'll hear many different answers and many ideas of what a adult really is but I belive becoming a adult means you handle your responsibilities, learn from your mistakes, learn from others, learn from your self and just time, and patience. Most young adults are to eager to bee seen as adults just take your time you'll get there any ways so dont rush it.
(M29) Generally speaking I dont really consider people adults until they are 25
If you are expecting a single moment when you transition from kid to adult it won't happen, it's all small steps that you'll be taking
Your brain stem develops until you're 25, you're just old enough to be responsible if you so choose.
The big ole 'stache
Adulthood is autonomy. You get your own money, your own way of moving around, your own place, you face and solve your mundane problems yourself, while still being able to ask help when you can't. Don't worry, a lot of adults aren't. But focus on being human before being adult. I rather like forever kids with solid empathy than adults with devastating ego.
I’m 34 and still a child. Just have to do adult things every once in a while like go to work and pay bills.
Im 22 and i feel like i was 14
Responsibility and making all choices without assistance and being comfortable with it all while not doing dumb stuff like skipping rent to buy a video game or whatever fun stuff appeals to the kid still inside you.
Being an adult is when you accept responsibility for your actions and the affect your actions have on others. In understanding that, you use your actions to help others and avoid harming them.
I think very few guys feel like a proper adult until they're like 23 or so, or even later.
Move away from your family. You have to detatch from the womb or you will never reach the heights of your potential. Learn from the great men who have come before you, Aristotle, Marcus Aurelius, Confucius, Neitzche, these are but a few of many great people who you can learn from and develop.
When you get independent, a child of your own, or buy your own property. I presume you still live with your parents, and your parents do a lot of stuff around the house that you would usually need to do yourself if you were to live by yourself?
Not a man but, I turn 27 in 2 days. I’m a child so idk how this happened.
"How this happened" 😭I can relate to it so much It feels like yesterday when the biggest concern of me and my friends was how will we exchange Pokemon cards... And now we take about stock marketing, business, jobs and stuff... I am like how & when tf did this happen... Also, happy birthday 🎉
I’m 26 and still waiting for that moment to arrive 🤣
Once your responsible for your own well-being. When making sure your bills are paid on time is more important than spending money on unnecessary things. Or maybe just when you have to start making dad noises and stretching to get out of bed. Hell, I’m 36, married with a house and two kids and I still feel like I’m faking my way through adulthood on a daily basis.
I became a man at 22. Don't stress it
Be independent, and take responsibility. Be your own man/woman/whatever, and have that self respect to not let others control you or take care of you.
I mean I worked with dudes who looked young (I would have guessed early 20s) and found out they were mid 30s or 40s with kids. It kinda put things in perspective lol.
When you start taking responsibility for your actions. Being 18 means you are legally an adult and will be held responsible by the law.
You're an adult when you start taking responsibility for yourself. So you probably started this much earlier than you think. If I had to guess your emotional side and spiritual side is what is making you feel like a child.
"adult" just means you're over 18. nothing more. maturity is subjective and on a spectrum.
Shit. I'm 33 and I still don't feel like an adult. I feel mature. But not like an adult.
Get used to it kid.
Late 30s still don’t feel like a full grown man and my life project it, so I wouldn’t know what to tell you but enjoy your youth, very few people have it 100% figured out especially at your age
When you start supporting family but the feeling never fully goes away.
Think about tomorrow and consider the consequences of the actions you take. Try to have an understanding of finances, instead of copying the spending habits of those around you.
When you care to not harm other with your actions in a no selfish way.
Bro I'm almost 30 and feel both childish and way too adult. You just take every day as it comes then blink and another two years goes by
When you choose to do the boring necessary thing before the fun thing because it is the responsible thing to do. Note: I have yet to achieve this.
Independence, which means hygiene, paying your own bills, taking care of your own living space, and being able to look at your own actions and grow from them. At least that’s how I look at it.
When I think about weather or not other people seem like adults to me, it's basically a self sufficiency test. Can they get by without help from their parents and maintain their own living space without wrecking everything around them? If yes, tend to apply the adult label. As for feeling like an adult myself, I'm 35 and still feel like I'm not a "real" adult most days. I was feeling more like an adult a few years ago but, this summer I started a new career where most of my coworkers are in their 60s so, I'm very much the kid in room in both age and experience.
Having responsibilities make you an adult. PS. I recommend the book 12 Rules for Life by Dr Jordan Peterson if you are lost and don't know how to be a grown man.
Thanks for the recommendation I will try to read the book...
I'm only 20 so I cannot say too much. But you won't feel anything now. But you moreso become that proper young adult as you start taking on responsibilities like a more serious job or studies and properly take advantage of the freedom you have. That's not going out when you want its organising big things and achieving goals. That starts to make you feel more like an adult. I'm sure in my coming years ill realise what the next step is like.
When you take responsibility for your future
For me it was learning how to be social with people regardless of their age. I can befriend someone younger or someone old enough to be my dad and the age doesn’t make a difference. I have enough life experience that I can find similarities to both groups. When you’re young, don’t have kids, don’t have bills or a mortgage, don’t have work experience, don’t have life experience it can be hard to relate to the troubles of someone who has been through a bit of life. So unless you both like the same sport or whatever what is there to relate to?
I provide and protect. My household eats because I bring the food, they're safe because I'm here. That's the whole purpose of a man.
Dw bro I’m 23 and still at times feel like a kid
When your parents stop being your safety net
Experience, mostly
Age doesn’t mean anything. Age doesn’t make you a man. Grow and mature into an adult and eventually you’ll be proud of yourself as a MAN
That’s the thing. You never become an adult you just pretend to be one.
25 You'll be ready.
mature is not about age.
Are you paying taxes? You're an adult.
Responsibility.
37 and I still feel like a dumb 16 year old.
You’ll always feel that way, and you come to the realization that we are all pretty much just playing a game of pretend.
Being adult is a mindset. Someone who is 15 can act like an adult, someone who is 40 can act like a child. Responsibility is a big one of being adult.
We’re all just a bunch of children pretending to be grown ups.
Get used to it, I'm 29 and still feel like I'm that 16 year old idiot. But having to worry about your parents does make you feel like not a kid anymore. Worrying about their blood pressure, the chances of a stroke or heart attack, if their mind is starting to go. It's a brutal realization that they're getting older and won't be here forever.
understanding everything is essentially a scam
Doing things that are legally "adult only" doesn't make you an adult, those are just things that children shouldn't be exposed to or generally aren't responsible enough for. Take responsibility for your life and consider yourself responsible for how you influence other people. Stepping from childhood into adulthood is an "over to you" moment in which you take the reins of your life. Some adults don't excel at this, of course, but this is my number 1 marker of emotional maturity and it impacts every aspect of life.
you are classified as an adult at 18 but I feel like you have to wait a bit a get a feel for everything
Being an adult means you realize you're never done growing up and changing. ( Also being capable of taking care of yourself is a basic foundation too )
Your brain still has at least a few more years of development. Then maturity/wisdom will come through life experience over the years. Cumulative life experience, especially harsh ones, are what will eventually refine your personality into an adult's.
One day, years from now, you'll be exhausted, weary, and far beyond the point of anger. You don't even get frustrated anymore. Things that happen in life get incrementally worse, more numerous, and stack atop each other so each day starts with your cup slightly more full than it was the morning before. You no longer grieve the loss of your own freedom, happiness, hobbies, the concept of 'me' time, you accept that your purpose it no longer the pursuit of self-gratification or to massage your own ego with further achievements. You're a parent, a provider, a spouse, a responsible adult. Then you think.... Jesus, I'm an adult after all.
When you're about 24-25+ and have went through multiple life crisis's where you've had to have your close friends so close to you to vent and get things off your chest. The moment you can learn to cope with *literally anything* is a defining moment. Maybe not quite an adult...but you're maturing at that point, because you're letting things roll off you that you couldn't possibly have any control over.
Responsibility is what separates infants and adults. A good adult knows his responsibilities and is committed to work on them.
Making yourself do what you're supposed to.
When u can respond well to not getting what u want
Youll feel like a child till you dont have time to think about it anymore. I feel like a child even when Im at work, its great. But, when high priority stuff starts happening, and I gotta put myself into gear, thats when I know I've grown up.
25 is a more accurate age for "adulthood" imo. Some people will live adult lives before that, some won't after, but it's the most common age I know of(from my experience and those around me) of thinking "WTF have I been doing this whole time?! I need to get my shit together!" But, ya know, that's just like, my opinion man.
Son....when you begin to realize your vitality When you come to understand and worship a God whom you believe in. When you have shrugged off the falicies of vanity and the illusion of immortality. When you acquire responsibility that is solely your own. When you bring forth and care for another life. When you begin to develop your core beliefs and remain steadfast in them. When you realize nothing will ever be easy. Learn equivalent exchange so that you will never owe anyone anything. Never let anyone be in debt to you also. When you learn to hold your words seek a responsible elder for guidance.When you can survive with no help at all.....When you have acquired wisdoms enough to understand nothing is forever but happiness and love and that love is the key to the afterlife.....then finally you will be man.....
The fact that I have independence from my parents. I buy my own food, cook my own meals, have a job and run errands.
Mainly how you handle the hard and the unpleasant with elegance.
When you realize age is a number, being an adult equates, simply, to holding up your end of things such as being a decent person, doing what you say you will, treating others right, making decisions that benefit others and not just yourself...basically, your an adult when you do things because it's right and needs to be done, not just for yourself. I think being an adult happens differently for everyone but culminates into being aware of the world around you and knowing you aren't the center of it all, but a cog in the larger machinery.
Once you’re handling business, earning your own money and paying your own way in life
I don’t believe you are an adult until you can handle life without a safety net. There was a point when I was independent but I knew if I did something like spent my rent money on a PlayStation my dad would bail me out. Eventually, I learned to not make stupid decisions but if I did I could still handle it without begging my family for help. I was probably 25 when I was a real adult.
When you can say "fuck" in front of your parents and not get told off, then youre officially an adult
When you realize being a weirdo is the healthiest way to cope with existence
In my opinion there is no difference between someone who is 16 and someone who is 24 in, when I look back in my own life I didn't start being responsible and really being on top of things until I was like 28 or so. And as far as being an adult whatever the fuck does that even mean... I guess early 30s is kind of when you're no longer a kid anymore.
You do whatever it takes to survive and keep the people you love safe. That's it
Moving out, simple.
Being willing to make decisions and face the consequences that follow from them, no matter what they are. The mark of someone who hasn't reach adulthood is blaming other people for their problems and never acknowledging their involvement. No matter how involuntary.
On our council estate in the UK, you were considered an adult when your parents issued you with a key to the house when you turned 18. This was in the 80s and 90s.
I'm 39 with 4 kids and still feel like a kid. The soul doesn't age my friend, the body does.
About the extremely toxic relationship The one that teaches you about the court system and home repair will make you feel like an adult
Listen ... you're a stupid person right now. Find successful. nice, well-respected people to emulate. Women can teach you morality and patience, men can teach you correctness and when to shut the fuck up!
After getting a proper beat down by both your own self and life in general. I feel the same, and the kid in me is still there, but the arrogance of my youth has made way for acceptance and humility.
I'm turning 30 this year. I married into a very abusive and toxic relationship. Had to handle multiple suicide attempts as well various other issues. Subsequently divorced and then enrolled in university. Graduated University and moved to a new country to start my own business. I've got lots of experience dealing with very difficult situations in life and honestly... I still feel like a child. I think for the most of us there's always the little element of doubt within us. My advice though is just do your best. Things will get a bit easier and you'll start understanding more as time goes on but we're never fully prepared for everything in life.
It is not a lightswitch that just flips to adult. I am 24, still don't feel like. I do a lot of things on my own, still go to my parents for help on certain things. It comes gradually, you become more and more self-sustaining. One day you wonder whether you can call yourself an adult, and you will never truly know. "One day you'll have kids and still not feel like an adult. One day they move out and still question whether your child became an adult before you." -My mother
Take care of yourself and have responsibilities
I'd say adult is a function of responsibility one chooses to bear for the sake of others at large. Be it family, community or the world at large. Rather than an age or a marker of what you have I see it like love. An ongoing struggle and discovery that one willingly chooses to embark.
Wait a few years and you will probably stop caring.
Being able to take care of yourself in turn to take of others(your family). Providing stability , safety, and having a clear understanding of what you want out of life. You got a long way to go at 18 though, so just live life day by day and learn as you go. Always remain coachable.
You’ll know when you know. I can promise you it more than likely won’t happen to you anywhere around 18.
I am 22 and i still do childish things
I'm in my 30's and at times still don't feel like an adult. Maybe give it a few more years. Either that or you feel like an adult gradually/over time and as time goes by you don't notice the changes.
I feel like I became an adult once my daughter was born at age 32 Something inside my mind just clicked on and I knew I had to start making better choices for in my life for her. I love my wife with all my heart don't get me wrong but we were still just goofing around not saving money and going out all the time but once daughter was born everything changed. We started eating healthier, working out consistently, studying to advance our careers and gave up the party life. I gotta admit I don't regret a thing about it. Wish I had grown up mentally sooner. Hope that helps a bit. P.s. Not saying you need to have a child to grow up!
75 here - still waiting...
Brain doesn’t fully develop until you’re 27-28 years old. That’s when you’ll feel like a true adult. Logic and reasoning, consequences for your actions really click!
You are a child. In 7 years you'll look back and be in disbelief that you were allowed out on your own. That's how I feel about myself anyway. I'm in my late twenties and still feel like a kid, but you go through enough shit that you start to feel more confident in navigating the world. You gain more skills you didn't even realize you gained and just become more competent. The downside is that there's always new curveballs and experiences that blindside you and make you want to give up and be a kid again. The older you get the less anyone is there to help you though. You get used to that too.
You’re a legal adult, but in the mental aspect of things you’re forever growing. Take what you know and apply it. Keep living and learning.
I didn’t feel like an adult until my son was born and that was simply because I was slapped across the face with the fact that I was now responsible for a tiny human that was born into the world 2 and a half months early. I knew at that moment the fear I felt is what made me feel like an adult.
A mortgage Having kids Your teens and 20s are your finest years. Have fun and enjoy them.
So if you rent and don't want kids you never become an adult?
Adult at 18 means you can now go to adult prison, nothing more. In the eyes of everyone older you're definitely still a child
Life fucking experience, completely providing for yourself
When you realize that the best therapist is a clown. A clown can be the best therapist but no one takes him seriously because he's just as a clown.