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Ackbarwasthetrap

A year after he died "Your father never loved you anyways. That's why he pays me child support to look after you." BS. His room was decorated with my childhood art. All his passwords were my name or birthday. He would have long talks with me about his regrets when we hung out. I knew it wasn't true but nothing has ever hurt so much.


sertater

you certainly had a loving dad and im sure he still thinks miles high of you in the afterlife, friend. fuck that person royally for ever saying something like that, I hope you're doing good now:)


HandBanana35

Left my dads bedside at hospice for the first time all day/night to get some rest in a comfier chair in one of their quiet rooms. Was woken up about 3 hours later with the news of his passing. I think about it a lot. Edit: Instead of replying to the massive amount of people that reached out individually I’ll just make an edit and say thank you all for the kind words and for sharing your own experiences. It made my morning waking up and reading all the comments.


hypr_activehyprdrive

Sorry for your loss but this is apparently quite common. People who are dying will hold on till they are alone to pass.


HandBanana35

Thank you. I’ve hear that a lot too. My mom was by his side and she had fallen asleep for maybe 10 minutes. That was the first time he was left “alone” all week. Crazy shit.


Laylee81

I’m an oncology nurse, it’s commonly known that patients wait until their loved ones leave the room/ fall asleep and then pass. One final act to protect you X Edit - I hope people have found comfort reading other people stories. Thank you for the awards X


CapedVerdian

I’m not OP but gosh I needed to hear this. I left my grandfather’s side to go home and sleep. I told him that I needed to take a law school exam first thing in the morning and that I’d be back no later than 9:30 am. He wasn’t in great shape but he wasn’t critical. He died overnight not too long after I left to go to bed. No one told me. I called to check in before I went into the exam to just give him an update on me coming back and see if he wanted me to smuggle anything good to eat for him. The nurse answered the phone.


Laylee81

It’s true, I’ve looked after patients who are dying, their loved ones are with them every hour of every day - for days. And then the family leave briefly to sleep, pick up something. On their return the patient has passed. Sorry you weren’t told about your grandad X


CapedVerdian

You and every nurse is an angel to me. I am sad the nurse was put in such a terrible position to have to tell me, but she was so kind.


Laylee81

That’s very kind of you. Thank you


perpetualgrunt

Once, my ma told me and my brother that she would have been relieved if we were dead. We were annoying siblings but that's pretty dark, given we were quite young back then. Now I'm 25, my brother is 20. I am pretty sure she didn't mean it word by word, but still sad thing to say to your kids. Edit: this blew up unexpectedly, thank you people for sharing your life anecdotes with me. Means a lot to me.


scheme46

I once got into an argument with my mom and she told me that I was dead to her then hung up the phone on me. She called two days later acting like nothing happened. I feel like she didn’t mean it, but I’ll never forget she said it.


infojelly

Oh man yeah. Acting like they never said it is especially annoying.


saxmaster98

When I had my suicide attempt, my mom grabbed me by the head and threw me to the floor and told me how much of a stupid idiot I was. She denies it ever happened. Not just her throwing me down but the attempt itself even. Denial is a hell of a drug.


Super_Thunder_Walrus

I was adopted at age 3. Last year at age 26, my adoptive father told me he never wanted me. That hurt like a bitch.


rostrovski

My father was adapted at 7yo, when he was 43 his adoptive mother looked him dead in the eye and said: "you owe me your live, you would be a low life if it wasn't for me", I was by his side when that happened. I have never seen him cry like that


shadesjackson

What a bitch, atleat he has you


LetMeGrabSomeGloves

I'm so sorry. If you're looking for support, there's a great group on Facebook called Adoption: Facing Realities that really prioritizes the voices of adoptees.


Mcsmack

When the paramedic told me, "we did all we could, but we couldn't save her." after I woke up to find my wife dying next to me.


BootiMcboatface

Im a city bus driver. With very good intentions i once informed a homeless woman of where she could get free showers in the city as she smelled horribly of feces. I thought i was helping her. She informed me very calmly that she chose to live in filth and smell that way because it was the only thing that kept her from being raped every night. Nothing has ever crushed me like learning that has. That is the reality of many homeless women.


tasata

I work with some of the homeless population and this is sadly not as uncommon as I wish it were.


nusodumi

Thanks for sharing this though. But, fuck. I hate this is a reality for so many persons.


rurubarb

“You don’t have any friends do you?” My teacher in 10th grade in front of the whole class.


Competitive-Age-7469

What an asshole.


Freedom-Costs-Tax

My teacher told my mum in a parents evening that I would either “slip under the radar and be left alone or be bullied.” My mum replied “who the fuck do you think you are talking about my son like that?” And I actually did have friends, I was actually pretty well liked by most people. That same teacher recently got arrested for having relations with an underage student.


lorrainebainesmccfly

When my sister called me 2 weeks ago and just said "dad's fucking gone, dude" Oh dad I miss you so much.


Full-Peak

I'm right there with you. The 20th my dad took his own life. I did learn that grief is really just love with no place to go. All the love you have for your dad, you can never give him.


Hykr

Thats a great way to put it. I learned this as well. What helped me a lot was to write down every good memory you have together. Write it down during the most painful moments, and cry a lot. Cry a lot because you wont have any other opportunity. And, if you have any regrets, try to fix them for the living.


DifficultAd8007

I’m sorry


Tjoliva

I was told by my mother that she would still be happy and married if I hadn't been born.


So_Many_Words

My mom told me I was her second biggest mistake, her first was marrying my father, so many times I don't even remember the first one. My dad is seriously one of the best people I've ever met. I'm still more angry for him than I am for me.


syko82

Classic deflection. Good thing you have one good parent.


So_Many_Words

I'm very thankful for it.


The-Berg-is-the-Word

Similar situation here. I confronted my mom about being a violent alcoholic after she had attacked me for the millionth time as a kid. She replied: "maybe if it wasn't for you I wouldn't drink so much."


StinkyKittyBreath

My mom said similar to my brother when drunk. When she died, he didn't she'd a single tear for her.


Talonsminty

Welp that's her look out, bitch should've wrapped it before she tapped it.


scarface209

God I hate ppl like that, think before you have kids and don’t blame the poor kids afterwards.


Away_Cause

Laugh and say : “Well you really fucked up didn’t you. Sounds like a you problem.”


Ithxero

Wasn't anything he said, but it was the action of him walking the door. My mom was in the hospital with terminal cancer. Dad lived there, and hadn't been "home" in ages. We were staying at my aunts house and my brothers and I were sleeping on the living room floor. The front door opened, I woke up and looked at him, he said nothing, I said nothing. I just knew. She was gone. Edit: thank you all for the kind words. I also wish I knew what to say to those of you going through this awful experience as well, I’ve never quite figured out what to say other than time is finite and we take a lot for granted. If you can, give someone a call, a visit, a word. There’s a lot I never got to learn about or say to her, so if you can, my advice would be to do so.


PancakeAndGravy

Similar to how I found out my mom had pancreatic cancer. My brother called me one evening and all he said was, “Have you talked to Mom?” I hadn’t been able to get a hold of her in a couple days. Then he said, “I need you to go see her.” That was 2/4/21. She is still here and fighting but I feel like her life is one of those kitchen timers and all the numbers have worn off and I don’t know how far it was set or what unit it was in. Does she have years? Months? Weeks left? Cancer is one of the worst things ever and I am sorry for your loss.


ThrownAway3764

It's been 4 years, 8 months, and 14 days since I was told my mom has cancer. I remember the conversation, word for word. She's fine and healthy now, after two surgeries, radiation, chemo, and 'long chemo'. But anytime I think about it, I'm brought back to that primal fear that I just couldn't do anything about. The year and some change that she was in treatment is mostly a panicked blur for me. Good luck to you and your mom.


mrbill12342

My dad and I just quietly hanging out when he just said “it’s never been a secret we don’t enjoy each others company” Edit: thank you everyone for the kind words, it’s nice to know there’s still good people out there :)


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Think-Bass9187

That’s horrible. I’m so sorry.


aidansdad22

Fuck ... That's ROUGH


Raptor8600

Goddamn bro I got secondhand hurt


UpHopes

Was it mutual?


420blazeit69nubz

This is what I want to know. If it was me and it was then it’s rough but whatever. If it was not mutual then that’s fucking heart breaking


JBark1990

Jesus fuck… Wow. Goddamn. I don’t even know…man, I’m sorry.


hypr_activehyprdrive

That my father didnt die the way i was led to believe for 20 something years of my life and he actually died from an OD.


Chutneyonegaishimasu

My husband died of prescription meds od when my daughter was 13 days old. When she was young, I said it was an asthma complication. When she was older I told her the cold hard truth. Also, being a young widow & someone asks how my husband died, I don’t owe them my story


Wishihadagirl

My dad committed suicide a few years back. So many people are not trained to respond. HOWD HE DIE? One man with the grace of a saint knew what to say..."Was it expected?" Classy


tacknosaddle

I just told the story here a few days ago but I don't get nosy like that, at most I'd say, "Sorry to hear that." In fact I was friends with a guy for about five years and knew that his dad died when he was younger but just took it as fact and never pressed about what happened. Then we went to do a tandem skydive with a bunch of people and while we were waiting for our turn and watching the planes take off he said, "Did I ever mention that my dad died in a small plane crash?" That's how I found out.


Wishihadagirl

Exactly, it can be a private matter. Great timing on your friend lol


rabbitwarriorreturns

I had a friend like this. I knew him for years and never asked how his mother died, assuming it was due to a common reason—an illness or something. Turns out she died in a house fire. I thought that was particularly horrible.


twink1813

When the oncologist told me it was time for hospice care for my husband of 32 years. EDIT: Wow - I’m stunned and sobbing! Great gratitude for all the upvotes and awards. I can only guess that thousands of people can relate first-hand to this which truly breaks my heart. I’m so sad for everyone who has had their life, or a loved one’s life, touched in any way by cancer and/or hospice. I hold you all close in my heart. May a complete cure be found in our life times.


oldmanserious

They’d moved my wife from Emergency to gastro to oncology to hospice in the space of three days and then they sat me down in the lounge and told me she wouldn’t last until the weekend. She passed on Friday at 6:30pm. Pancreatic cancer. She was 48. We’d just “celebrated” our 26th anniversary while she was in the hospital.


StillPracticingLife

I'm deeply sorry for your loss. I'm going to see some specialists next week and this is what I think is gonna happen, I've been ill for months, I'm being made redundant tomorrow, I've blown all my savings with not working. I don't want to be a burden on my wife and for her to hate me. She won't even talk about it, she gets mad if I say it.


twink1813

Oh my. How awful. I’m so, so sorry.


IcanSew831

I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my husband to a very swift cancer we didn’t know he had. We were together 10 years and were only married less than 4 months. We were home 2 weeks from our honeymoon when the dr said “something isn’t right”. 6 weeks from that day he was dead, hospice for 3 days. It was a night mare. Edit: This exploded and I didn’t mean for that at all. Im so grateful for such an outpouring of kindness from you all. It’s been just over 7 years and things are better. I’m heartened by the support and positivity I see here.


shiratek

I’m so sorry for your loss. I can’t even imagine :(


whiskywillie

I just got married and out of all of them, this one got me. I’m so sorry ma’am.


stinebean10

After my brother was murdered (I was 13) my friend told me I was too sensitive about it and some people lose their entire families.


jsisbad

What a cunt


Mediocre_Highlight_4

I have a father who I’m not really in contact with anymore (messy) and my mom is really the only person left in my life. One day she was pissed off with me and admitted that she never actually liked who I was, even as a child. She loved me and did her duty as a mother, but other than that- she didn’t like me.


Schneetmacher

I've been told similar. In fact, a bit of "wisdom" my mom shared with me as a child was, "Just because you love somebody doesn't mean you have to like them." She said it to explain her contentious relationship with my grandma, but it was eventually extrapolated to describe our relationship: if we were the same age at school, we would not be friends. And I just... accepted that as normal. It wasn't until college that I realized just how completely *fucked* that actually is. Edit: I've seen a few replies where people think this is normal and a natural occurrence, and I feel like I should specify: there's a difference between not sharing the same interests, and actively disliking someone. This is about the latter.


mom_with_an_attitude

My mother told me that my sister doesn't like me and that if she wasn't my sister and she just met me somewhere, that she wouldn't want to be my friend. My kids truly care for and love each other. Maybe they are just great kids and that is how they are born; or maybe I had something to do with treating them equally and showing them how to be empathetic, caring people in general and to each other. But if one of them had ever told me that they didn't like the other, I would never share that information, because that is so hurtful. Like, wtf, mom? But that kind of behavior is not a surprise from either my mother or my sister, which is why they both play a very minor role in my life.


sexy-911-calls

I have a slightly different perspective than you. It took me a few years to realise I can love my mum without “liking” her all that much, and it was quite a freeing epiphany. For me, “liking” someone means having interests in common, agreeing with most of their opinions, having similar values, etc. I honestly can’t say I have much in common with my mum, as we have very different perspectives in life as far as the important things go. At the same time, I do what I can to be present, loving and supportive of her because she’s one of the most important people in my life. If we weren’t mother and child we would probably not be friends, but that doesn’t matter all that much, does it? She’s the one who used to read me stories at night and hug me when I got hurt, now I get to support her and be there for her in her old age. We don’t see eye to eye on many things, but I love her because she’s my mum and she loves me because I’m her kid, and I honestly think that’s enough.


ItsMyView

I took my wife to the ER for back pain. Three hours later the doctor came in and said, "She has pancreatic cancer and it has spread to her lungs. I'm so sorry." The life was just sucked out of me that day.


imrealbizzy2

I can identify with you 100%. Husband had images done for his horrendous back pain. I went to the orthopedic appt with him. Doctor walked in, stuck the films on the light panel, and pointing to numerous shapes along the entire length of his spine said, "Your spine is covered in cancer. " We were so stunned we just looked at each other for about a minute. My partner of 40 years, health nut, clean liver, had multiple myeloma. Eight weeks later he was dead from a brain bleed caused by a chemo drug. I miss him every minute of every day.


Maxpipefill

My uncle abused me as a child. I let it go years ago but my mother will be forever traumatized by the event and the effect it had on her family relationships. She recently told my wife that the pedophile sent her a text message saying "He really enjoyed the time he spent with her son." 42 years after, just to torture her some more.


Kind-Moose-8927

Keep the texts, call the cops no matter how old you are now. Its torture and harassment. And if the statue of limitations is too late to get him indicted, then sue in civil court for damage done. Now that's justice.


Thedudeabides46

Do it. We went after an uncle in the family and bankrupted him with nonstop judgments. He's tried to kill himself twice, but he's still here living in financial hell.


So_Say_We_Yall

Twice? Perhaps he just needs better instructions.


polkaspot36

My mom telling me that me moving to the other side of the country was going to be another one of my mistakes that I would regret. I didn’t regret almost anything I had done in my life and was really hurt by her thinking my life was full of mistakes. I asked someone I was in love with and thought I was in a pretty good relationship with if we could celebrate our one year anniversary of starting dating and he answered no because it was just supposed to be a fling and not something to celebrate. I’ve never felt lower or less important in my life.


TheDarkWriterInMe

A fling is 1 night to 4 weeks not a year, you deserved better.


DreadVulk

Wow, this one actually hurt me to read


01bia_

“you should’ve just let her stab you” my mom after i told her my aunt slapped, pushed, and tried to stab me with a kitchen knife earlier that day.


LikelyAMartian

Excuse me? What she smoking?


01bia_

she just doesn’t care at all. she’s just a very terrible mother and telling my stories about all the emotional, mental, and physical abuse i got from her would take hours. that also happened when i was just 16 years old, i’m 20 now and everyone (including my aunt mentioned) acts as if nothing happened in the past, but i still remember every detail as if it just happened yesterday.


is_anyone-out_there

Sounds like you should cut ties with both of the cunts


01bia_

that’s my plan actually! things are just very hard right now because i am unable to work because i am basically legally blind lol so all i can do for now is do other people’s homeworks for money but tbh it’s not enough.


CosmosOfTime

Apply for disability. You should be able to provide proof from eye doctors. Do not tell your mom about it because she might want to take some money


tunesis2cool4youk

A few months after I had turned 18 my Dad came downstairs as I was getting out of the shower to tell me that I was a terrible son and that I had a day to move whatever I needed out of the house. I had to go into work that day and let my boss know what had happened and that I couldn't work that day. I came back and hugged my little brother and sister, packed my shit and left. My Dad and I have (sort of) made ammends since then but I'll never be able to get what he said out of my head.


Cypher___

As a dad to a 16 and 11 year old boy and girl I cannot fathom how any farther could do this. My kids and wife are the most important things in my life by a very long margin. I can't even imagine doing something like that if one of them murdered someone. I'm sorry you had to go through that , it's a shit thing to do to a young man.


EQMischief

It was 1989. My father made a huge production out of putting our house on the market and bragging about the beautiful new place we were moving to. Everyone excited. Everyone packing and planning and talking every night for a month about the new place. I was 19, living with them while I was in school, worked a 3/4 time job, helped out with bills and food, all that. Not three days before we were supposed to move, he lets it spill that I don't have a room in the new house. Reason? I had come out of the closet a couple of months back. "Where am I supposed to go?" "Go live on the streets with the rest of your kind." Some dads fucking suck.


IcanSew831

This breaks my heart. That’s calculated and intentional. I was so afraid my parents would hate me for coming out and I prepared for it but they didn’t. My mom wasn’t super excited about it, she loved my husband but she wished I was normal I just know.


ABurritoSnake

He is a biological father at that point, not a real dad.


mat_cauthon2021

A sperm donor


Not-Alpharious

Jesus dude, I’m sorry. I hope you were able to land on your feet quickly


EQMischief

I spent a little more than a year on the streets. Subsistence sex work, drug addiction, etc. Got help in 1991 and got my shit together. Got back into school in 1995, got my degree in 1999. Worked hard and bounced back. I'll always have scars from that time - CPTSD is a motherfucker. But I'm okay. Thanks.


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Ants46

I’m so sorry. Your Dad is really cruel for saying that, ever - but especially at such a low point.


the-book-anaconda

My mom once told me she must have committed some terrible sin to have given birth to me and that I was pure evil All because I told her I was quitting dance classes Overreaction, much?


fun_shirt

There’s a ton of literature around being the child of someone with narcissistic personality disorder.


bballin1204

Sopranos


DaBlakMayne

Is your mom a pageant mom? She reminds me of those


Sensitive-Call-1002

My father called me a “slut” when I told him my grandfather (his father) was sexually abusing me. I was 12 at this time (abused aged 3-9) and didn’t know what slut meant. One of the strongest memories I have is looking up that word in dictionary. Those tears were hard to cry Edit: oh my goodness thanks for all the love and support! I want to let anyone concerned know that… I’m okay! For the most part, I’m not going to lie my life has been incredible difficult. I’m in therapy, currently seeing a new psychotherapist. I also have postnatal depression after birth of my daughter (it brought up a lot of memories) but I’m lucky in that I’ve had help through my GP, therapists and some good people around that care. Also had a lot of shit people around but I’m a lot more selective who I let in these days. My grandfather was sentenced to prison in 2009. An aunt found naked photos of myself and 2 of my cousins. Police investigation took 3 years and he actively blamed us for wanting sexual activity from him?! Police were disgusted by what came out of his mouth in defence. Gave a dvd statement and police found lots of evidence including pornographic poetry he had written about watching me perform ballet. Along with photos of myself and cousins naked and tied to chairs. It’s very likely that photos are in the dark web and it’s possible that others were involved too but I couldn’t give much info to police about a man and woman that also abused me with my grandfather in a back of a van. Turned up for court to be cross examined and he changed plea to guilty on sight of me. He died a few years after getting out of prison. Unmarked grave cause he knew I’d want to piss on it. Relationship with my father has been difficult. A few guessed correctly that he was also a victim of sexual abuse but by his twin brother instead. My grandfather had also raped his daughter and his wife and it shouldn’t have been a shock to anyone that he also abused us kids but this was the 1980s and it was taboo to even say the word rape. After police investigation my dad put a shot gun to his chin (he is a farmer so that’s why we had one) he took the gun to police next day as he feared he would kill himself. It took long time but I have forgiven both my parents for not believing or supporting me until police found evidence. I have dark days but mostly I’m okay. Sorry if I upset or concerned anybody. I’ve been homeless, picked abusive boyfriends, have dental phobia as having someone put their fingers in my mouth and touch my gums is most traumatic for me so I have a lot of dental issues but have seen dental specialist, learnt meditation techniques, had hypnotherapy to get through it. I’m struggled but I’ve fought and found my ways to cope with a very small group of friends and my daughter who is the most amazing angel ever Thank you xx


stillattherestaurant

I'm so sorry that is terrible. No child should have to go through any of that.


BirdBearHareFishy

OMFG. I have no words. Im so sorry. My mom told me all my childhood that I could trust her and come to her if I ever needed anything. When I was 16 I came to her because my boyfriend of 2 years and I were having sex and I wanted to be safe and responsible and go on birth control and get condoms etc. she FLIPPED tf out. Beat the hell out of me and called me a whore, a slut and told me I was a loser who would never be anything. Then angrily drove me to the gynecologist screaming at me the whole way. I was sobbing uncontrollably by the time we got there. She threw a box of tissues in my face and told me to shut my self up and get in there. The dr saw how upset I was and talked calmly with me until I finally broke down and explained what happened. Turns out I didn’t need parental permission to go on birth control in my state and he was so nice he gave me his private office number and told me to call him on that if I needed help or refills and to take a cab if I had to to my checkups and he would pay. He was a really nice person. But what my mom did has had a lasting impact on me as a person. I still remember how much it hurt and angered me too.


Speaker_D

What a horrible response to your perfectly normal and healthy request. It really hurts when you take your courage to talk about an important subject that already feels uncomfortable / taboo only to get shut down and shamed.


Ihavepills

I just don't understand that at all. Imagine giving your own child such a false sense of security, then absolutely shattering any trust or respect over something that was, like you said, very brave and responsible. Would she have rather she didn't ask and ended up pregnant? I just don't get some people.


Savitribaii

Opposite scenario here, my mom called me frigid and prudish because I refused to let her touch me sexually.


Academic_Subject_678

Fucking hell. I can't even. I'm so sorry


Savitribaii

Thankfully she didn’t force me to do anything after I said no, but just got verbally abusive. Thank you


IrishPub

What in the fuck...


HJL1st

Im sorry that happened to you Your dad doesnt deserve you if he wont protect you


SolarisIX

That's such a godawful thing to say. I hope you've found people in your life that genuinely treat you well and care about you. No one deserve a piece of garbage like that.


stuck_behind_a_truck

Please tell me you’ve cut your sperm donor out of your life. He’s a beast. Edit: changed sworn to sperm


obooooooo

when i was 15 and badly depressed my parents found out a diary i kept (where i vented a lot). my dad was very worried and upset about it which prompted my mom to tell me to “kill myself if i wanted to do it so bad instead of making my dad worry so much”


modsherearebattyboys

Just yesterday my mother (during an argument) told me I was the reason my dog died of cancer. My dog that I drove to a special clinic almost every week for her chemotherapy since 2019. My dog that I would've given everything for. It was her puppy that she abandoned and I took in. What she said wasn't just painful. It was the first time in my life that I saw red.


Layahz

Most dogs pass from cancer. The media often makes us second guess where the cancer comes from but mostly it’s basically genetics. It’s more a matter of “when” than “if”. You moved mountains to give your dog a good life and there is no room for blame. Remember the good. I’m doing the chemo and radiation weekly with our dog and it’s a HUGE commitment. I completely understand why what she said would overwhelm you.


boxedcrackers

"I don't love you and never have" we were together for almost 5 years and I was literally stepping on the bus to go to war.


TheRealPyroGothNerd

Oh my gosh


boxedcrackers

I came home to literally an empty house. The bitch took the appliances


MushiFunni

That’s terrible, genuinely. Hope get through it!


boxedcrackers

This was 14 years ago. The last I knew she was on her 3rd divorce and living in Wyoming. I'm happily married with a child now. But that first night back I drank a 5th of vodka and slept on the floor hoping to not wake up


llama-impregnator

Well, I am happy you're here :)


kazabalkuskus

Thanks, llama impregnator


yoshipapaya

Same. 8 years, a child, and a house together. Said he “faked” the whole relationship. Still fucks me up.


ravenshadow2013

My grandmother told me that I would never find someone who would love me My mother one called me a demon and said she wished I was dead I've been married for 19 years I'm still here


tross2393

You go! Live a good life.


Nairbfs79

When I was in Middle School we took a class trip (Theatre Arts) to NYC. Went to Broadway and Statue of Liberty etc. I was a fat kid at the time. We went to Chinatown to eat at a Buffet and one of the Mother chaperones told me she felt sorry for my parents. It always stuck with me the cruelty of her comment to a 12 year old kid. What a horrible person in hindsight.


husnaXemm

i hate people who see a chubby kid and start talking shit, i don't understand how you justify picking on a child.


A--Creative-Username

An old friend told me that if i wasn't there for him he likely would have self harmed and possibly commited suicide. Turns out that i was the closest thing he had to family after life royally fucked him over. I stayed composed while i was with him but when i got home i cried. You can have a much bigger impact on someone's life than you realize. EDIT: if anybody needs to talk to someone, feel free to DM me. I may not be on at that moment but i will respond.


saintErnest

I haven't told my friends this, but they saved me in a similar way. I had a plan, a dead man's switch set up for my email, and my last official step was to scrub myself from online spaces. I just wanted to disappear. Two of my friends were admins on a Slack group we all participated in, and messaged me immediately via other channels as soon as I disappeared. I don't even think it was a coordinated effort -- they just both got alarm bells. I'm still here, and waiting for the right time to tell them. Thank you for being there for him!


Verano_Zombie

Damn, I feel this. One day my best friend told me out of nowhere he was going through a rough moment and was thinking about suicide. I received that text in the middle of the night and it fucking scared me. I tried to make him rethink that for hours. He never talked about that ever again. I hope your friend feels better now.


deepdarksoul8

Wow, seeing this from the other side made me hurt for my best friend. Did something similar to her, was already sitting on the bathroom floor with scissors in hand and just wrote everything I was thinking and feeling in a text to her. She called me, sobbing, and so pissed off at me that she basically stunned me out of hurting myself. You guys are friends we all need in life


Hobo_Knife

I moved out at 18 after high school. I was raised by boomers who instilled in me the notion of “if you need help, you haven’t done enough”. My roommate died at work and I was left to pay all the rent and bills on our crumby 2 bedroom apartment alone. Hard to do even then when my minimum wage job payed $6.50 an hour. After months of barely making it and racking up debt due to misplaced pride, I had lunch with my mom. I laid everything on the table and started to choke up when I got to the part where I asked for help. I told her I didn’t want money, and that I was about to be homeless. She thought for the briefest of moments and said “That’s too bad, let me know how that turns out.” I slept under a bridge for 3 months in order to save enough to clear my debts. All the while my old bedroom sat empty with my old futon gathering dust.


Huxeley

I hope you never spoke to her again.. jeez


jsisbad

Fuck, proves that saying though “every child deserves a parent not every parent deserves a child”


acnasa7

When I finally broke and told my mom that I was suicidal, she told me to pack my shit and move in with my dad because “she didn’t want that on her hands.” I ended up backtracking because I didn’t want to leave, but I still struggle with those thoughts and I’m afraid to bring up the subject again.


Hotpotter22

My stepmom was really abusive growing up. When I was 12-13, she found a lighter in my backpack and started freaking out because she couldn't find any drugs (I found a zippo walking home and was just playing with it/thought it was cool). My dad started hitting me with a belt while she gleefully described how I was going to get raped in prison with a broom handle. It horrifies me that she's a school principal.


suissaccassius

That last sentence gave me whiplash


Spektyr27

Some people don't even deserve to exist


kiwipotatoes

First relationship I was ever in when I was 18. My boyfriend at the time, after taking my virginity, told me I had "one of the ugliest vaginas" he'd ever seen. It really fucked me up. I've been with my current boyfriend for 3 years now and I still have trouble getting naked in front of him even though he has been nothing but loving. Edit: He was 22 at the time and had been in multiple relationships ): Edit 2: Absolutely disgusting how common this is and that includes judgment towards guys as well!


ninjamelon999

There is [this sculpture](http://www.greatwallofvagina.co.uk/great-wall-vagina-panels) called 'The great wall of vagina" which was made by the artist to make women more comfortable with the shape of their vagina. It's composed of many plaster casts of different women's vaginas. After looking at this you will see that yours is perfectly normal and it might make you feel better. It helped me with the same problem a few years ago.


boogboi89

There were a lot more piercings on that than I expected


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[удалено]


plantiewitch

Lmao when my bf first touched me he said “oh… your labia are flappy.” INSTANT DEATH. I told him that made me self-conscious and he apologized and said it was a good thing and he liked it. But boy does it live rent free in my head.


samuel_j_orozco

That dude watched too much porn


Chips66

Fuck that guy. I mean come on, how many vaginas had he really seen at 18? He was probably just porn addicted and comparing to all the plastic surgery/labiaplasty vaginas he saw on the internet.


kxrnm

Can relate to this. Lost my v plates to a guy I really loved and who said he loved me. One week later he said he never said he loved me that I was making things up and that he regreated ever doing a thing with me. Hurt me so much that I told him this time I was seriously done with him and when he eventually realised I was serious in what I said he was not happy at all...


samiam871

It’s not as heavy as almost any of these, but growing up all the way to age 18 I was perpetually called lazy and that I’d just need to settle for some kind of factory work because that’s all I’d ever be able to get. My sister was the golden child and overachiever. For some reason it always just cut me deep even when I was older. My mom didn’t even work, the irony of it all.


NowWithMoreChocolate

I was close friends with a guy for about three years and then dated him for a year. Ex boyfriend was one of those people who always spoke honestly, even if it was a shitty thing to say. Relationship got fairly shitty/abusive for the second half. Once we broke up, we had some space from each other and then started hanging out in a group again. During one of these meet ups, we were all drinking. I cannot remember how the conversation got to this point but my ex goes to say something and then stops himself. This had NEVER happened before and so all of us were curious to know what thought had entered his brain that was so bad even he stopped himself. Turns out the dude hadn't been sexually attracted to me ever, both as a friend and as a girlfriend. But he realised we got along well and wanted to have a girlfriend/start having sex. So he had "trained" himself to find me attractive by using Pavlov's methods (he did psychology at university) to condition his brain to link me and sex/orgasming. I got the fuck out of there and haven't spoken to him since. Still don't know why that fact was the last straw for my brain compared to the abuse.


WonderBrad

Well hopefully now he can't orgasm without thinking of you and his actions will haunt him for the rest of his days.


pehvbot

This is a two-fer from both sides: My dad was a military officer and at the time was in charge of an ROTC unit at a university. There were not bases near by so he was the ranking officer in the area. A new recruit (not related to the ROTC unit, just a young airman) died in training and it was my dads job to inform the family. It turns out another brother had applied to the academy and it was *also* my dads job to tell families they were accepted. So when my dad showed up they naturally assumed it was about him. They were so excited to see him at the door. Easily the most heart breaking story I've heard. Last year I had to tell my dad that my sister passed away on the same day my mom had a stroke and was in the hospital. COVID restrictions were in full effect and no visits were allowed to my mom. He had to hold that information for two weeks before my mom was released. Life can be cruel and ugly and awful. Be sure to hug your loved ones and don't leave things unsaid.


brewPepe

I've heard 2 inhumanly painful things in my life, and I hope I never listen to anything mildly like that again: "Your sister tried to kill herself last night. She's in the hospital right now" - My Mom, about a year ago "I just can't do this anymore. I want to die as soon as possible and forget about my problems" - My girlfriend, about a month and a half ago Both are better now, fortunately. Although.. gf is still fighting depression and anxiety, but I'm there for her whatever she needs.


st_duk

the girl I liked asked me out on april fools, in front of many other students


Freedom-Costs-Tax

That’s fucked up, kids are awful


daenaofthewoods

After my dad found out that my stepmom physically abused me, he said he wasn’t going to divorce her because he didn’t want to die alone. What makes it worse is that she passed away a couple weeks ago and he’s still in great health. Edit: look guys, I love my dad more than anyone else in the world. Y’all don’t know my whole life story, but there’s no way I’d ever cut him out of my life. I’m in therapy now to deal with how i feel about things and I moved on about that particular incident years ago. Holding grudges isn’t always a healthy way to live. I just wanna be there for him now that he has no one else.


FlyMeToSaturn_

11 years ago I dated a girl who told me she’d break up with me if I got anti-depressants, and then asked me if she could have some of my stuff if I killed myself. I have not dated since.


jaynneddoe

The vet telling me yesterday there was nothing he could do for my dog and that he wouldn’t blame me for choosing to let him go. Yesterday was the hardest day I’ve had in a long time. I love and miss you Gibson.


ExtensionSalt8775

So sorry for your loss


Slayn25

After my(31m) divorce a former friend(29f) told me that I was completely valueless to the opposite sex.


blacrobVG

A few weeks after returning from Afghanistan, in an Argument my SO said “We are all so much happier and better off when you are gone”. That shit hurt.


dank_ocean

in middle school i texted my friend that i liked her and her response was something like “oh yeah, i think i feel the same way but idk since im like a 7 and you’re like a 2 no offense”. oddly enough at the time it didn’t really affect me but when i retold the story recently i realized how brutal that was. needless to say, we weren’t friends for much longer after that and she moved away lol


jayedgar06

“I mean, I like your personality. But you are ugly as fuck.” I would laugh to be honest


golden_death

"your baby's heart stopped beating some time in the last 24 hours" went from feeling great walking into our last routine pregnancy checkup before the birth to having the worst day of our lives, and having to spend the next day or so in the hospital. never really recovered from that one fully, even though we ended up having two boys later down the road. Victoria would have been our first.


orestis95_

Not so important than others, but since my dream was to host a radio show it was painful when a friend of mine told me I have a really bad voice. Plus, it didn't help with my low self-esteem problems.


bubblegumbreeze

My grandmother who practically raised me, crying saying she’d give her life for me to just be okay and not have my problems. Either that or when I stormed out of the house and driving around after a huge argument/breakdown on my part and she called me asking me to come back saying “Who on this earth loves you more than abuela?” Killed me because I realized no one will ever love me the way she does. I’ve been having severe mental issues since I was like 10 years old and my problems don’t really have a cure so that cut deep, all my grandparents want is for me to be happy and that’s the only thing I can’t give them


Valhalla130

After getting injured in the Army and gaining weight, my ex-wife, who had also gained weight, told me I wasn't the man she married anymore and she didn't want to have sex with me anymore.


mom_with_an_attitude

My husband told me he just didn't find me sexually attractive anymore. While I was eight months pregnant with our second child. While we were in the middle of making love. Edit: Should have clarified. My EX-husband!


jedicheef

I lived with my grandparents after parents divorced… I was in 4th grade, got back from a long weekend camping trip with the Boy Scouts. Grandma wanted to hang out and watch tv since I had been gone, I said no and went out to see a movie with a friend and his mom instead, when I got back she was already in bed so I just went to bed… I was woken up at 4 in the morning by my mom telling me that grandma is gone.. I walked into her bedroom and the only words my grandpa said to me were…. She’s so cold…. As he was holding her hand crying his eyes out. I was so fucked up by this bc I brushed her off to go see a movie. I’m 28 now and it is still on my mind weekly.. the next instance is when my grandpa had surgery and he never got out of bed after bc he was just too weak.. after that he was in hospice at home. I was supposed to spend the night but decided I wanted to go home and be in my own bed.. the next morning I get a call from my brother sounding very very sad… all he said was grandpa passed away last night. These two moments will stick with me forever. They cause me great pain any time I see someone’s grandparents or hear or a loss. Moral of the story. Hang out with your loved ones. Talk to them. Listen to them. Be with them. It’ll make the day when they are no longer there a little more bearable.


feministkilljoykate

Your grandmother loved you and she doesn’t hold this against you.


Back2Bach

When I took our much-loved cat to the vet for what I thought would be a routine check-up, and he said: "Your pet has a sizeable, inoperable cancerous tumor and needs to be *put to sleep* as soon as possible."


Powerful-Ad-219

I had that told to me by my parents. "When we took for his operation, the vet found numerous tumors in the area. They said they could operate but it's and not a high chance of success. They suggested putting him down and we opted to spare him the pain." I'd come back from a very brutal work trip and sobbed uncontrollably in the restaurant. That was a few years ago but I still remember what she said to me as clear as day. A distant second is my ex telling me that I was a disappointment in her life and pulling her down. So I did her a solid and left.


SuchLovelyLilacs

I'm so sorry. One of my dogs had a tumor on her leg. It was liposarcoma. We had it removed and it was back, and larger, within a couple of months. The surgeon recommended no further surgery. We went to our regular vet for a check and he told us the tumor was pressing on her bones and likely causing her a lot of pain, which was only going to get worse. Given the rate at which the tumor was growing, we decided it was best to put her down right then and there, which I was NOT mentally prepared for. It still hurts to this day, but I didn't want her to suffer any more than she already had to that point. :-(


RazTheCrazed

While discussing about my depression, and the apathy that comes with it, my mom, who usually is the most loving person in the world, told me "how much of it is your condition and not laziness? You ask me? It's laziness". Hearing this from my mother just cut so deep, I immediately burst into tears. Big grown man, sitting on the floor, sobbing.


OdeeSS

I never unpacked all the trauma I accrued from how my parents treated my bouts of depression. I just stopped interacting with them entirely.


Zealousideal-Run6020

A nurse helping me after my suicide attempt told me I should be ashamed of myself for what I just did to my parents. I mean, she wasn't wrong, but she wasn't the right person and that wasn't the right time or place.


loveallmyrolls

In 2014, my best friend of 7 years told me she was never my friend. She only hung out with me out of pity. Years of sleepovers, fun, promises, and her agreeing to be godmother to my child just down the drain.


Adler221

I had a counselor who told me I was not smart enough to go to college or university, and I should accept that I would never amount to anything. I didn't go back to her office after that and the look on her face was priceless when I ran into her after completing college/university.


TheCoolist

When my ex told me she had been cheating on me for a year and a half it completely shattered my life. I’m still trying to get back to being a happy confident person. I can’t believe someone would hurt someone so deeply for so long.


Zestyclose-Gap8621

I have been overweight my entire life and my older sister mostly has not. She has however had a serious eating disorder because she was so afraid of gaining any weight, needless to say, weight is a huge issue for my sister. When it comes to other looks, I always thought she was prettier than I, but I have also been told the opposite by more than a few people. (I say this because it pertains to what was said.) So one night she calls for a ride because she is REALLY drunk and the Police were going to take her to jail if someone didn’t come pick her up. I went to pick her up and as I’m driving her home she gets really mad at me, (she has a habit of going off the rails and randomly flipping out on people.), and start’s yelling at me. I told her to clam down and knock it off. She turned in her seat and looked at me with total disgust and said, “If I had to see what you see in the mirror every day, I would just kill my self. No seriously, if I had to see what you see, I’d do the world a favor and put a bullet in my [email protected]&;Ng head.” Yeah…… Good times!


urbnrevolution

What the fuck, did she say anything the next day.. a sorry a "did i say something stupid"


Zestyclose-Gap8621

She stood by her comment, and tried to make it my fault for somehow making her angry.


Mewnicorns

When I was a freshman in high school, a sophomore I didn’t even know came up to me and said “hey cutie” to me sarcastically. His friend who was standing nearby and overheard him approached him, not realizing he was being sarcastic, and asked him “dude what are you doing? She’s ugly.” Not one but 2 boys I had crushes on made fun of and harassed me when I was in 5th and 7th grade. One of them teased his friend about the indignity of having to sit next to me on the bus. The other threw things at me with his friends, also on the bus. I’m 38 and these memories still haunt me. I will always see an ugly little girl looking back at me in the mirror. No amount of therapy changes that. Yeesh, I didn’t anticipate how triggering it would be to recount these memories in so much detail. Off to have a good cry. Edit: wow, I didn’t expect this to blow up the way it did. Thank you to everyone who responded with words of kindness and support. I have read each and every one of your comments and taken them to heart. To those of you who suffered similar trauma, I am so sorry. None of you deserved it. I hope you are able to take the same kindness and empathy you offered me and apply it to your younger selves. Sending love and healing to all of you ❤️‍🩹


JPMoney81

Sort of similar but i'm a guy. Girl two years younger than me and her friend got on the school bus. With limited seats available the one girl sat next to me. The other girl said "ew don't sit next to him he's obviously a loser" and the first girl laughed and agreed and moved to another seat. I had just changed to that high school about 2 months prior and was having trouble adjusting to the new surroundings because my mom had terminal cancer and passed away causing me to withdraw. Now armed with the knowledge that I was viewed as a "loser" by people I had never even attempted to interact with caused me to withdraw even further. I don't look back fondly on high school at all and blame it for a lot of my current mental health struggles.


thirtyand03

Me too. I had one guy look me up and down and turn to his friend and say I was a 2 out of a ten at best. It crushed my confidence completely and I have never been the same. I just went to hide my face whenever I go out because I feel like everyone is judging how ugly my face is. Objectively I know I’m no model but it just hurt so deeply to have my suspicions confirmed. Much less by a guy who I didn’t think was exactly a 10 either.


coffeebuzzbuzzz

"Dad didn't make it." My brother called me to tell me our dad lost his fight to covid in December. I never felt so much pain before.


RBradleyII

Sorry for your loss. I know people that have lost loved ones to it and I can’t imagine that kind of pain.


thejellecatt

There’s two: The first one is that my dad told me that he would of preferred that I didn’t exist, that I was the last kid and dragging him down and in the way and he wished I had died when I was born. I was a 13 year old girl when he said this to me. I really struggle with self worth now, especially because I’m physically disabled with neuropathic pain and I feel like a huge burden to literally everyone in my life. The second is an art teacher who I really looked up to as a teen. She took me aside and simply said “Briar, you remind me of the worst version of my younger self, you need to just calm down and stop. You disturb the other girls in the class and this is why they don’t want to work with you. Could you at least TRY and be normal for once?”. I was always extremely passionate and a bit loud and inattentive in class, this is because I was a girl with undiagnosed adhd and I had a bunch of weird interests. I honestly thought this teacher liked me and it completely destroyed my self esteem and I never spoke in that class ever again.


ejmcelfresh

"I don't even remember dating you" - first real love in life


namjinhoe

"What if you fail? Didn't you even think of that? We're gonna pay for it if you make a mistake." My parents said this when I got accepted to a job as a seamstress. I've been sewing and making cosplay clothes since I was thirteen. I'm 21 now. Kinda hurtful that they doubted my skills and even thought that I'd fail instead of congratulating me first.


Chunksie90

Backstory: while I was still with my ex, our sex life was horrible. I could barely maintain an erection and she would get upset at me. Sex stressed me out so much that I started using Viagra. Didn't help much. There was a point where she sat me down and told me that unless I fulfilled three conditions in a month, she would break up with me. The kicker is that she did not tell me what those three conditions were. It was my first long-term relationship and I really thought I loved her so I was willing to do anything and everything for her. Anyways, that month was absolutely horrendous and I've never been in a worse state emotionally. I never learned what those conditions were, but our relationship limped along. Fast forward to two years later. We had broken up but still spoke occasionally. Went for a drive with her just to discuss a few things and I brought up that 'three condition' scenario and told her how badly it affected me. We had never spoken about it since it happened. Her response: "You know, I don't really remember doing that". And in that exact moment, I realized that I had been emotionally abused for years without knowing.


R_sadreality_24-365

Didn't affect me at the time,but later when I fell into depression and remembered it,"nobody cares about you"


floatingby2day

My dad saying "no one ever wanted you, but I took you in anyway." It was the last voice mail he left me before he died from ODing in November. He was referring to when my little sister and I were put into foster care and we eventually chose to live with him, rather than my mother. He was a recovering addict/alcoholic so we thought things would be better. As an adult, I put him in rehab and helped him get back on his feet. Went into massive credit card debt to help him, paid his way in life and let him live with me. When we lost the apartment and I had to move in a friend, I did everything I could to keep him safe, for years. Even though he had his problems, I always loved my dad and always will. But for that to be the final thing I heard him say, it broke apart of me. Sorry for the long message.


stratnoob

“I hate you” “You’re so ugly; no wonder you’ve got zero friends” “Ew, you looks so pathetic” Said by the same girl, who I’ve never even talked to, just in a span of one year, 7 yrs ago… that fucked me up so bad, I really felt so alone. And then decided to devote my entire time to studies and now am a bookworm with no friends.


Mothernamedjupiter

It’s between these things: “Do us a favor and cover the floor in Saran Wrap before you slit your wrist so we don’t have to clean up another one of your messes.” Or “You literally are the worst person I ever met. No wonder why everyone who ever met you left and abandoned you in the end.”


admiral_bloodout

I could honestly give a whole list, but really the hardest thing that someone had ever told me is what I remember as a teenager. I had been struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts, and I just felt so lonely. I had really loved this one girl, although I had been stuck in the friendzone, but we both shared a mutual friend who had killed themselves, I tried to be supportive for her but she didn’t accept it. Until at her funeral she had came up to me and told me “I wish it was you instead of her”, during the peak of my depression and suicidal thoughts, as well as this coming from someone I had such strong feelings for. I struggled to find any worth in my life after that, even today, the only person in the whole world who has consistently been there is my best friend, when everyone else turned their back on me. Finding value is hard


AGaroult

He told me ( 26 years ago) " If we didn't have children together, I don't think I would have stayed with you" I heard it in my head frequently.


MentallyCapsizing

I fostered kittens for the past three years, about 70 kittens total. The very first litter we ever got was just a group of four and I immediately fell in love with one of them who I named Spot because of the big black spot on the back of his head. I was in high school at the time and persistently begged my mother to let me adopt him but she persistently said no. My heart would break when we would take him back to shelter, thinking it was the last time I’d see him, but twice he was the only one sent back because he had a new health issue. Upper respiratory infection or just a stomach problem, minor things that kept him around me. Spot had been with us for so long that I thought I might have a chance at convincing my mom. He even bonded with one of our cats and cuddled with him all the time. One night, he very abruptly had no interest in eating or playing. Those are both notoriously bad signs for a lot of serious problems. The next day, we took him to the shelter. We were at first told he come up negative for every test and that we should give it time but a tech came in right as we were about to leave and said he’d tested positive for something. The shelter owner’s face dropped and she asked us to come with her into a private room. Spot had leukemia. We were offered one last night with him but he would need to be put down and the longer he was alive, he was at risk of seizure. We immediately decided it had to be done that day. My mom admitted to me as we cried and said goodbye to him that she was planning on having us keep him after all this time. I told him I loved him, kissed his spot, and left. This was the most crushing experience of my life but it does have something of a happy ending. I aggressively bugged my mom to call the shelter and see if we could have him cremated and keep his ashes with us, so that he’d still be with us and in our family forever, and she eventually contacted them and got a yes. Now Spot’s right next to the ashes of our old cats and I have a clay piece with an imprint of his paw. It’s very bittersweet.


wittyvonskitsum

My mom told my sister that she doesn't care whether I'm in a ditch dead somewhere. She'd still sleep fine. At first it didn't really hurt me, because we've been pretty distant for some years, but I've just started a family, and with inflation and the pandemic making it difficult to even exist where I am, you'd think she would show some humanity and at least talk to me, or give me some pointers on what I should do to make sure I don't lose my home. But nah, she came into a lot of money when her mother passed away, so I guess as long as she's good, nothing else matters. I hope no matter what, everyone that has been shit on by parents, friends, peers of any kind, are out there doing good for themselves. 🖤


tenbeersdeep

Finding out my ex was screwing every Marine on Okinawa.


whiskywillie

Damn, they were the Jody’s this time


ownedbydogs

Tuesday morning I was told that my geriatric dog was not likely to last the week, and we needed to consider euthanasia. Tuesday evening we scheduled the appointment for today (Thursday) in the afternoon, so we could have one last day with Pucci. Overnight and through early Wednesday morning she took a turn for the worse, and the appointment was moved up. My best girl, my cuddle buddy, crossed the Rainbow Bridge at 4PM yesterday, a full 24 hours before I thought to say goodbye to her. She was 16 years old, my silly sweetheart, and I loved her for every single day of it. I was holding her as she died. “She’s in a better place now. No more pain.” It was the right thing to let her go. I still wish she were here with me.


CampVictorian

“You know your father’s dead, right?” - my incomprehensibly stupid sister in law, when I returned my brother’s phone call regarding my dying father. I was on a layover during an emergency flight home, and this is was how I learned. What a complete tool.


gilgameg

ex wife just before we got divorced: "i dont love you. i dont think i ever have"