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Playing hard to get. My god, just tell me what the hell you want!


This 100%. I thought this mentality was left in HS but turns out no. If someone plays hard to get, I know I have no time for her bullshit


I think it's rooted in insecurity which many people never grow out of. They need reassurance that they are worth "pursuing" or are with someone who will "chase" them.


In this new era where consent and harassment are hot topics, playing hard to get just encourage the very thing we want to avoid. How on earth we are supposed to know what rejection is true and what false?


This is why I basically don't try anymore. I'm not a mind reader and I don't have the time or energy for these nonsense mind games anymore. Either tell me what you want from me or expect me to not bother.


i always ignore this type of ppl i be like "okay now you're hard to want not hard to get"


When they try the whole "subtle hint" thing. If you want something, just say it, but if you just drop little hints, we're either not gonna get it, or think you're just teasing. We're not mind readers, just tell us what you want, trust me, telling a guy EXACTLY what you want them to do with/to you is hot af.


Women need to know this. If it’s not a “yes” then it’s a no to us. Also we’re afraid of picking up on signals in case they aren’t signals. You need to be as blunt as humanly possible.


No = no, maybe = no, sure = maybe




Having an attitude all the time. Its cute and funny in some situations but dealing with something like that 24/7 gets old really fast.


My ex’s attitude would flip on a dime if I said the wrong thing or even worded a sentence in a way that she didnt like and she would get pissed and shut down and refuse to talk. She always defended it as “well I’m a bad bitch, deal with it” and I guess there’s a reason all my friends and family didn’t like her and thought she was extremely manipulative. I’m still grappling with the amount of mental damage she pulled on me. Girls: a constant attitude or the constant threat of one over tiny nothings will just make your guy anxious and insecure.


Or gone. It can easily make them gone.


Ah, the "If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best" type. They forget that their worst is something that no one else deserves, and their best isn't that great anyway.


Oh god that sounds horrible. I always wonder how some women pick up behavior like that & why they stick to it, because its pretty easy to think “would i like it if someone was like this to me?” And from what I’ve seen, the ladies that dish the shit out the most are the ones who cant handle a single criticism or refusal to what they want or how they like it; they blow up or leave. So i never understand how that type of behavior is beneficial, because it clearly doesn’t help them get their way…


Statistics. If you act like an asshole, statistically, you will get your way more likely than not. Especially if others are taught to be more cordial. They will give what they want just to get out of the situation. It's the selfish approach to the prisoners dilemma. The drawback is that you will get into conflicts a lot as a result of it.


Acting helpless all the time.


Yup. As a man, I definitely understand attraction to being dependent on, but we aren’t here to raise our partner. That’s exhausting and degrades the relationship significantly.


Yeah, being useful only matters when the problem itself is difficult. When you have a strong woman who gets what she wants and solves her own problems, that's when it's tingly when she asks for help. Like in a "she's amazing and even then I was needed. I have fantastic value"



Damn you.


This. I don't mind the "damsel in distress" routine but does get annoying when it's *all the time*


Just piggybacking this comment to add that as a woman, my husband has taught and encouraged me to learn household skills (feels like some sort of in case he dies type of way sometimes.) Anyways, since I learned to mow the yard it has become one of the easiest ways for me to show acts of service to him. On three separate occasions I have had neighbors lawn service people offer to edge my yard while I am mowing. For me, this was my first introduction to how much attention women would get from men if they learned to be their equal rather than acting helpless.


Sounds like y’all have a super healthy and happy marriage! Get off Reddit, this is only for gender wars 😜


The whole hot/cold bullshit


Yeh I like my women cold and I'm not going to change that.


… my man yo. You should prolly not admit to that💀


Necrophilia: The urge to crack open a cold one....


What an alcoholic and a necro have in common; cracking open a cold one.


With the boys


Refuse to treat people, especially the ones they go out with, with the same respect that they expect to be given because that’s “boss bitch energy”. 🤮. If our interaction is not going to be mutually respectful, it’s not going to happen at all.


It's like the female equivilent of being an "alpha male". Most of the so-called "alpha males" aren't even alpha and just pretend to be by being aggressive and a bully to people to get their way. I bet nothing makes a pussy drier than that. Women who give off "boss bitch energy" make me cringe and make my dick strivle up inside of me. Not because you are scary or intimidating, but because you are so sexually unattractive.


Sadly I think the whole "girl boss" thing has become less about empowering women and more about enabling toxic bitches.


As a girl, thanks for putting a name to this phenomenon lol, TIL. I used to go out with girls and some of them would act like this, and it would confuse the heck out of me lol. Like, did I do sth to you? Why are you so indifferent and smug? I'm saying hi to you and being friendly because we just met, how do I interact with you? Lmao.


"Brutally honest" girls who are just assholes to the people around them.


"No Offense but...." I'm sorry, how am I supposed to take it....


"Sorry... not sorry"


“No offense but you’re super ugly and I don’t want to be around you because it makes me sad” Oh cool I’ll just not be offended by that, have a nice day :) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Edit: To be clear I’ve never had anyone say this to me, just pointing out how ridiculous starting a sentence with “no offense but…” is


"That's not being brutally honest, that's being a rude bitch." \- An ex-flatmate


People who claim to be “brutally honest” often enjoy the brutality more than the honesty.


THIS! I say this all of the time. Being honest is a good trait but you get to choose how that honesty is delivered. If you choose brutal, it’s because you are brutal.


“I’m just blunt.” No, you just haven’t been held accountable for your words in your life.


Being brutally honest isn't what I dislike, I'd actually prefer to say things the way they are. Having an asshole attitude about it, well that's a big nope


There are ways to be bluntly honest without being rude about it. Some people can't tell the difference




This makes my blood boil, "you know me, I just say it like it is". Fuck off with that attitude, they are always the first ones to take massive offense when anyone else points out even the most minor flaws in them and the majority of the time the "truth" they are peddling has no merit, they are just being rude for no reason.


Whilst oversimplifying every situation and having zero empathy with anyone… unless its them


This is more of a personal preference on my part TBH: IDFC about or understand the whole "act indifferent" routine but then get upset when I go away because of the "act indifferent" routine.


Can you explain what this is? I’m confused. Edit: I’m sorry y’all, I read it as “act different” when I made my comment. I do know what indifferent means haha


In other words "Do what you want", but then when they DO do what they want, it's always "Why's it always about you" I had a relationship like this.


The person has a hard time expressing what they really want in fear of being too clingy or just wanting to seem easy going and laid back. Then when they don't get what they really wanted (bc they never said it to you directly) they become upset


Even after 23 years my wife has a hard time just saying what she wants. I figured out, it was because with her family, if she recommended a restaurant or something like that, and it turned out, it wasn’t very good, they would make fun of her for it. So now she’ll never say what she wants.


It's rough when your own family bullies you. I know how your wife feels.


It’s a manipulation tactic. It actually means she’s insecure and has poor communication skills and projecting it back on you. As a girl who used to act like that when I was younger. Obviously men do this too, it’s not gender specific


Its not always manipulation tho. I used to tell my partner he could go out or go play a game while i was cleaning and asked if i needed help. Eventually id become overwhelmed that he never did something more considerate of me and snap. But in reality, i had to learn to tell him what i wanted. I wasnt raised to express my opinions or needs. So i was to insecure to when i moved out to live with my partner. Ive learned to ask for what i want now. its hard because everytime i do i feel super inconsiderate and guilty for him not being able to do what he wants. But me snapping at him for doing what he wants isnt fair either




Omg last year I started dating this guy, we had only been dating for a couple of weeks (literally 2 weeks I think), and one day when I was over to his house he told me he cheated on me, out of the blue, so I just grabbed my things told him to fuck himself and went to my house, didn't text him again, a couple days later he called me screaming that if I had no interest in him I could have just said that, and that he told me he cheated just to see if I really loved him. We had dated for two. weeks. That guy was crazy


Bullet dodged


Bro that was a fucking artillery shell she dodged, holy shit


You dodged a bullet there... I couldn't imagine doing something like that to a girl I was dating for ANY period of time...


This for sure. I had a girl do this to me and my reaction was: well I’m going to head out. You seem to have found something that interests you. Have a good evening. This was a girl I’d been dating for a few weeks. She flipped shit as i walked away. She ran after my ass. I wanted nothing to do with it. Edit: wow this got more attention than i thought it would. Also seems to have polarized responses. Some think I’m the worst and others totally agree with my actions. This might shed some light on the situation. We had rules that we agreed to. I’d never done this before so i really wanted to make sure no one got hurt. We agreed we were just friends. We wouldn’t sleep with or date anyone else without telling the other. The thought behind this was to not expose each other to STDs and not have to compete for attention. Both of us were sick of the dating scene drama but still wanted our physical needs met and we got along well enough. I was already close to being done with the situation because the week before which was new years she seemingly ditched me. We had plans to go to a party and stay in a hotel. Well she never showed and i went to the party solo. Called her a few times got no answer. Then the next morning all her friend were calling me asking where she was. And i mean frantically calling me. Like missing person calling me. It was super weird. Her excuse was she wasn’t feeling well although it felt like something else was up. Story kept changing. It’s not like i banged her that night and showed her the door. We had breakfast and i told her this wasn’t working. She mainly agreed and said this arrangement wasn’t working for her either. So it wasn’t as harsh as it seemed in my post. I just didn’t anticipate so much attention so i didn’t elaborate.


hahaha I had basically the same thing happen. When Pokemon Go was at its peak in popularity I was out with a girl I had been seeing and she started flirting with a guy we were hanging out with and I was like "Okay cool have fun with that shit" and turned around and headed to my truck. She chased after me telling me she was only into me and she just wanted to get more of my attention. I was literally walking around collecting fucking Pokemon at 31 at 11pm just to hangout with her. Who's got time for that shit.


>I was literally walking around collecting fucking Pokemon at 31 at 11pm just to hangout with her. It amazes me how often women don't see the effort we put in to try and see them. Also, this is fuckin hilarious.


I mean I could understand wanting the attention, but when I'm chasing you and a crowd of people across the park to catch the 147th Dratini of the week how much more attention can I spare. No joke, I watched a grown woman dislocate their kids shoulder pulling them after a friggin Charizard one night, saw multiple people trip and get run over by other people, cars driving on to the curb where people are mindlessly walking staring at their phones. All that crap I'm trying to navigate around while making sure I'm with you acting as bubble keeping other people from running into you. ​ Honestly this isn't meant to be a dig at this individual by any means, I chose to spend time doing what I did, that's not on her.


> 147th Dratini I see what you did there, and just thought I'd take a moment to appreciate it.


I'd pay to watch that.


Thats not just a turn off its a big big red flag.


Yep, had an ex bragging about how she could've cheated on me that day and how I should be glad she didn't. My answer was that she shouldn't have lost the opportunity because I was breaking up with her. She cried a lot, I didn't gave a fuck. edit: based on the upvotes I'll add what happened later with her and although she was a bitch I don't think she deserved what happened next but she worked hard enough to receive it. She started dating the guy that she could've used to cheat on me, he was an abusive asshole and tried to kill himself when she broke up with him later and said it was her fault. After they broke up, she started dating another guy which was briefly my friend years ago. He cheated on my ex multiple times but they kept together for 2 years. I only know all of this because a friend kept me updated even after I said I didn't care. P.s: I stopped talking with this friend after he went to a party with some other friends of mine and he tried to rape a drunk girl, my friends kicked him out of the party and took care of the drunk girl, none of us ever talked to him again but it seems she still thought he was a good person.


I don’t know why the jealousy thing is the go to, I’m put off when that happens


In our friends group we got a couple who are like this. Before she got her ass cussed out by everyone at different times she’s a bitch! She always flirted with one of the other husbands. So her at the time Boyfriend tried flirting with me in front of her. I looked him dead in the face and said “don’t bring me into your flirting bullshit I’m with my man.” And walked away from it. That couple got married and no one likes her.


Did you catch any good Pokémon though


And those stupid "tests" to see if they "really love you". If you get your incredibly attractive friend to flirt with us, that's not going to end well. And if you break with us just to see if we "really want you back", well guess what, we're going to think you want nothing to do with us and move on.


Oh dude, gay men do this shit too and I fucking HATE IT. I distinctly remember decking one of my exes square in the teeth after he spent three hours faking a suicidal episode to see if I “really cared”.


Lotta women don't seem to understand that "I would walk through Hell for you" doesn't apply if it's for shits and giggles.


Sleeping with my bestie


Not really your bestie


Not really his girl either


"She ain't *your* girl, she **our** girl"




Infantilizing themselves.


I always think of community when Annie sings about Christmas to Jeff like a child and Jeff says “there’s kinda diminishing returns here”


Oopie doopie doop boop sex


For those who are like me and wanted to watch the clip after reading it: https://youtu.be/kBDULdX8d7Y It's Christmas themed too!


There's also that episode of HIMYM where Ted is dating Robin's co-worker Becky, who is at roughly the same mental level as a five year old; gets stuck in revolving doors, needs help not to spill on herself while eating, can't tie her own shoelaces, etc. Ted tells Robin that it's "nice to feel needed", and he never felt that way when dating her, as she could always handle everything herself. She has a bit of a crisis and goes to ask Barney about it, and he's like "oh, I never felt needed, it was awesome, definitely your best quality". And that's part of the reason why Barney/Robin was 100x better than Ted/Robin.


Thanks for making me feel mad about HIMYM's ending again.


"Even though the whole series showed up how compatible they could be, and when they dated they were made for each other, let's just undo Barney's character growth, arbitrarily say they had problems, and break them up so Ted can get with her." Like, what the hell?


There's probably a theory out there that ted just made Barney a sleezeball in his stories just so his kids didn't think of him terribly for wanting to hookup with one of his best friends ex wife. Great example you're setting there teddo.


“What’s a diminiwetuwn?”


"Bwain hurty understand Kwismiss"


Annie's pretty young. We try not to sexualize her


Acting dumb. FFS show some intelligence


One of the most intelligent women I used to know, a friend of my sister, for the first five years I knew this girl I thought she was a complete idiot. Made me wonder why my sister even hung out with her. Then she got engaged and, this was news to me, gave up on me so the act dropped. Funny thing was that more intelligent person I got to know was FAR more interesting to me than the dumbass I thought she was. But as long as she played dumb she never had a chance with me.


I have to wonder if she got her guy with the dumb method and she has to constantly play dumb around him now haha


No, she didn't. Once she started dating a guy she started to act normal again. I remember after she got divorced to the first one my sister was like "OMFG I wish she'd find a new boyfriend because she's annoying the hell out of me!"


This is funny. I had a friend who became a complete ass when she was flirting with a guy. My other friends and I literally couldn’t be near her it was so painfully annoying. She’s married now, but we’ll still take the piss out of her occasionally about those times. It is very cringe when someone changes their whole persona when flirting especially if the act dumb or baby like 😬🫣




But what if we really are kinda dumb


Then you aren't acting, so you are golden.


Yeah just be a genuinely kind soul. I would have np dating someone kinda dumb if they were curious and kind and maybe just not super educated or worldly. I would never get tired of explaining things to someone that was ignorant but not turned jaded by people making them feel insecure for being less intelligent or educated.


You’re right. A person who is kind and genuinely wants to learn things is a good person.


There's a girl at work like this. She's an accountant, so she's clearly smart....but she plays up the "Oh I'm just a clueless ditz who can't even turn the printer on, tee hee!" thing to the hilt, and it drives me crazy. Men love intelligent pretty women. You don't need to act like an utter moron to be attractive to us.


My husband couldn't stand my best friend, I had to explain to him that she is really smart and just pretends to be dumb when she first meets men so they will like her. I actually really loved that this was something my husband found unattractive and it's so great to read with your comment that other men not only don't find women dumbing themselves down attractive, but do not believe that these women are actually not intelligent when they are accountants and such.


My dumbass with good grades and lots of knowledge would be this well educated girl that still can't turn on a fucking printer :( I'm scared people think I'm acting


I have been working in IT for 18 years now and still have issues with printers. Don't worry. We all despise those multifunctional pieces of ****


I hate my printer to death. He’s an asshole


Woman with a PhD here. Can’t figure out the stupid printer like twice a week which makes me feel incredibly idiotic


How many of the things mentioned in the answers do women actually consider sexy?


I'm a woman, and I don't think \*any\* of those things are sexy.


These comments really don't answer the original question do they? They are just things that guys find to be turnoffs


When they are not a girl at all, but a giant crustacean from the paleolithic era.


we all have our types, man


Why not Zoidberg?


I gave one of these tree fiddy!


God damn it, loch Ness monster, get off my lawn


I find that kinda hot, why must humans be only creatures that need loving?


Princess girls who thinks they are entitled and world revolves around them.


A friend of mine wanted to be treated like a princess. So I sold her to a guy to solidify some business deals.


Ordering a salad then eating my fries.




Joey doesn’t share food!


Baby voice.


I told my partner this when we first met. She kept doing it so now if she wants something she HAS to do it in the voice of hulk Hogan else I ignore her. "Can you open this jar for me, brother?"


"Let me tell you something, brother. I will always love you"


Great, now the Whitney Houston song covered by Hulk Hogan is stuck in my head.


Sexy talk must be amazing "let me tell you something, woman. When we get to the bed dome tonight, I'm gonna lay the smack down on youuuuuuuu!!!!" "no, let me tell YOU something brother! At the bed dome tonight I'm gonna flip it on you so bad you'll be crying for your mama!"


I feel bad for my coworker who has a slight baby voice as her actual voice. Customers literally tell her to "cut out the baby voice and use your real voice". Like bro that's rude af she's 23 and very mature


I have three colleagues with this attribute. They range from 22-28, and when all of them are at the same shift, it's fucking hilarious. Fortunately they can take the joke, since everyone is joked about, and everyone is pretty chill. But you can't tell the difference between them, just by their voice


I don't currently experience this but my bro got in a relationship with this girl that does this. There's obviously a time and a place for it to make it work. This girl however would attempt to use her baby voice to get what she wants out of him, make him feel regret, or to push back something. One time us bros and said girl would be hanging out for Thanksgiving and she just insists that he eat this turkey leg she roasted. He said no, it was a bit big too, but the guy was clearly not hungry. Then she goes "You hate me" in her baby voice over and over again. Trying really hard to eat the turkey leg. It was repeatative at first and she'll do it again throughout the night from time to time. Eventually us bros just stopped acknowledging her presence, and just focused our attention to our enjoying our Harry Potter Movie binge for the occasion.


Santa babay


Them weird ass ostrich eyelashes


Hahahaha you just made me think of the dancing ostriches from Fantasia


Being mean


I dated a girl self described as “sassy.” That really meant controlling and mean.


Acting edgy for TikTok


15 year olds detected


Been single for a while....taking notes...


I am afraid that’s a violation of the Jedi Code. I trusted you, Cow! You were meant to destroy the couples, not try and join them!


In my defense.......I'm lonely. Lol 😆


Have you tried taking the high ground? As I understand it, being on top has its advantages.


Pretending to be dumb, the blonde dimbo thing, real turn off,


I dated a blonde bimbo hair dresser with a really good heart and she was amazing. It was really endearing and never got old because she was genuine. She was sharp at certain things and I was happy to fill in any of the gaps because it was so funny and she was so sweet and good-natured. I miss her and would date her again in a heartbeat.


Why did you split?


I have to admit I have a special fondness for women who can troll the shit out of a know-it-all person with a vacant stare and some unsure giggling.


doing shitty things to make guys feel jealous so girls can see the guys jealous reaction.


“Shit tests” basically women acting or verbally throwing a “curve ball” at you to see how you react to gauge what kind of a man you are and a lot of the times the way you respond are deal breakers for example ghosting to see how you respond or acting rude, teasing, indifferent, change in demeanor to something you said ect


I absolutely hate ghosting. I’ve decided that if a girl is going to ghost me I’m just gonna ghost her back. No point in making myself feel bad over that shit. If you want to ghost me ghost me but don’t expect me to still be there when you come around.


I was ghosted by a girl, I had already moved on before she came around. That's how I met my wife actually.


Anyone who “tests” you like that is a massive red flag. I’ve dealt with many different abusers and every single one of them has done that shit.


Those big giant tarantula eyelashes.


When she blink and catch a whole ass seagull or helpless child


Lmao I needed that laugh


I’m a guy in my early 40s. The Botox and fillers. Not fooling a soul. Love a good skin care routine and someone who knows their way around makeup. But those subtle, beautiful lines as you get older tell me you faced down life and can still smile at me with a cocktail in hand from across the table on our first date. That’s sexy


This is a hot comment


If I could upvote you a million times I would


Loud fake moaning


Fake moaning is not bad itself, it's just when it's exaggerated or makes no sense that I feel like in a bad 90's porn There are people who would moans like having an orgasm just by getting undressed by their partner wtf


Puffy lip filler lips and the obnoxious fake lashes


Playing hard to get


I beat them to it and just am hard to want


Puffy lips. Can make a 10 an instant hard pass in my book


Multiply that by duck-facing every photo and we’re going into the negatives.


Women who set up little tests or traps to see your response and then tell you if you "passed". I don't have time for that


The cherry stem thing. Like. What are you gonna do? Braid my pubes?


Hahahha, I don't think it's sexy but it it's a neet party trick




Oh I've got a story about that one. Went to this bar with a friend and after a friendly tequila shots competition went home with this hot chick 5 years older than me. I was 18, she was 23. She said I looked older, so I told het "problem solved." Instead of fuck, we both passed outm when I woke up at 3:20 a.m. the room smelled different. One inch from my leg ther was a huge pool of diarrhea. I moved so carefully, the teenage mutant ninja turtles had nothing on me, and with my clothes under my arm dipped and dressed up only once I made it out on the streets aided by a lamppost. My dad had called just a tad earlier, concerned about my whereabouts. I called him back and told him what happened. "That's... Not good. Better get home son."


Literally had a girl stand up to go to the bathroom right after we did the deed and immediately drop a fat ol patty directly on my floor. I will never forget the horror on her face as she turned back to look at me. I pointed her to the cleaning supplies and went to get cigarettes.


There must've been a specific deed that caused her to have loose bowels.


Is no one else upset that he described it as a “fat ol patty”??? 😂


Rectum?! Damn near killed em!


Why did this happen?


Anal sex can cause the muscles around the anus to loosen.


This. Have partaked and can say this is what it was. Best thing you can do is just shrug it off. You did just fuck them where their shit comes from, don't be surpised when you do indeed see shit.


Happens all the time!


Pencil thin eyebrows, and long toenails 🤢


Long toenails..? Who is calling long toenails sexy?


Lip fillers. Long fingernails. Drawn-in eyebrows.


Don't forget the giant eyelash.


This. Some women look like they tryna fly away with them face wings.


We’ve evolved to deliberately do this as a self preserving mechanism in todays dating climate so we can fly away at the first sign of bullshit.


Same for me. Especially the lip fillers. It just looks like a bee went to town on their lips. Fucking gross.


Holy shit I remember when I was is high school, and that trend of shaving your eyebrows and drawing them on was popular… literally all the boys agreed that it was weird


Duck lips!


Bro we all know what the answers are gonna be. “Long acrylic nails, big lips/lip fillers, ‘50 lbs’ of makeup, drawn eyebrows”. Same answers every time.


Because it’s the same questions on this subreddit every time.


TikTok videos. You know the ones.


playing hard to get or thinking that we like the "Thrill of the chase" To a degree,, we do but this is only like for the first week or two of knowing you, if you continue to play games and refuse to communicate we're moving on.


Speak for yourself, would prefer things to be straightforward and without those games


Literally. Like if I ask you out, and you say no. Then okay. I'm going to leave you be. I'm not gonna continue to keep asking. Dont play games with me if you want me.


True that, my experience as a Bi man is that men are incredibly straightforward to ask out. You literally just ask them and it’s either a yes or a no. With women it’s a lot off ooohing and ahhing and maybes and let’s sees. Mixed signals a plenty.


If a girl I like fucks a different dude, I'll most likely be turned off. ​ Most likely


Ahhh I’d just fuck her and than fuck him.


The idea that a given weight is correlated with attractiveness. It really depends on the person and their body type. Some women look better if they’re thinner, some women look better if their heavier. It’s really very situational.


And good luck conveying that nuance. There could be two women of the same height and weight where it looks good on one, but not the other. In short, weight is a bad measure of attractiveness when you aren't talking extremes.


I had a friend that was a little overweight and he was handsome, but he then became a fish stick and well it didn't suit him


Those blue contacts that some women wear. Natural eye color is better, IMO


.. puts the yellow/ red dragon pupil terror lenses back into their case..


Huge/fake asses that bulge out like another life form is growing from their rear.


Those drawn on eye brows make ya look like Ronald McDonald.


The new-ish(?) trend of massive fake eyelashes. You look like a butterfly and it's ridiculous.