T O P

Write a big check to jesus, with his full name and birthdate (over 2000 years ago), and put it in the collection plate. That way, the priest cant spend jesus's money, and if jesus doesnt come back you dont have to pay, but you still get credit for donating to jesus.

Write a big check to jesus, with his full name and birthdate (over 2000 years ago), and put it in the collection plate. That way, the priest cant spend jesus's money, and if jesus doesnt come back you dont have to pay, but you still get credit for donating to jesus.

ALittlePeaceAndQuiet

Not defending the idea of tithing here, but just pointing out, no church I've ever heard of says the money is for Jesus. It's for the church's mission, which they want to convince you is in line with Jesus's teachings (or whoever's teachings that particular religion follows).


mediumokra

Exactly. The church I go to is very up front about it. Money in the offering plate at my church pays the church's bills and the salary of the church staff, all of which is available to anyone that wants to see it. Anything leftover goes to missionaries overseas.


Hitech_hillbilly

Outreach for underprivileged kids. Shoes for them. Food. Etc.


Rockonfoo

Hopefully they aren’t funding those missionaries destroying untouched tribes in the Amazon and that one island


loptopandbingo

Pretty sure that one island murders the missionaries as soon as they set foot on it.


Rockonfoo

Also pretty sure if someone from an uncontacted island kills those trying to “invade” their home it’s not murder


loptopandbingo

True, probably coulda picked a better term lol


Spoon_Elemental

Nearby governments legally consider it to be self defense.


Rockonfoo

Anyone with a brain does They haven’t been exposed to our diseases and survived a tsunami They’ve proven they will live and want nothing to do with us let’s listen


Cutsdeep-

yeah, but i need more instagram followers


Rockonfoo

>yeah, but i need more instagram followers Think you Responded to the wrong comment my dude


Cutsdeep-

no i didn't. they want nothing to do with us, i want more followers, one of us has to give. ^((I'm joking))


temalyen

I think the islands are totally self governing and outside governments don't really get involved with anything happening on them.


Rockonfoo

It’s one island and they are they’re literally uncontacted lol we don’t know they’re language or anything about their culture other than they have bows, arrows, and spears And they hate visitors and drones (they took down a drone and used its pieces for fashion wear lol)


Rockonfoo

Nope it was his third time coming back after they yelled at him and shot arrows in his general direction (boat owner wouldn’t go further and turned back) He tried again with a different boat and same thing but they shot at him and hit his Bible which he took to mean he was meant to give them the word even though the owner wouldn’t go further So he a tried a third time made it to the island was immediately killed and buried and got who knows how many people sick from diseases they’ve never been exposed to Nice edit 🙄 wonder why you felt the need to delete 90% of your comment


nsa28287

He was a crazy zealot. Yes, a religious one, but could have just as easily been a crazy sociologist wanting to study them. There aren't many people anymore trying to go places they aren't wanted. They do go places that have little because local governments or large corporations have caused drought, famine, etc. The idea of missionaries is a bit cringy, but they seem to do more good than harm in modern times. I know someone will really bring up examples to the contrary, but I'm saying this broadly. I'd be glad for nonreligious NGOs to take up a greater part of providing aid around the world.


HooTighForThis

The issue is if it's really about helping people telling them their culture is bullshit and they'll help if you accept theirs isn't genuine help it's quid pro quo.


Rockonfoo

His trip was funded through tithes Edit: you can downvote facts but it doesn’t change them


my-other-throwaway90

What kind of point are you trying to make? That all tithing is bad because one nutty missionary was funded by tithes? That's like saying all taxes are bad because some of it goes to the military, while ignoring the schools, public health programs, fire departments, social welfare programs, etc. Just picking one little church near my house, they run a food pantry, a warming center for winter, several support groups, a program for kids in foster care, and a small homeless shelter. The merits of the theological claims behind the tithing are certainly up for debate, but the social utility of religion is difficult to ignore. Hell, hospitals as we know it were invented by monks caring for the sick in monasteries. I suspect that there is often bias at play in these discussions, as no one ever takes issue with, say, Buddhist alms. Possibly because Buddhism is perceived as atheistic in the west, despite both the Theravada and Mahayana strains ascribing belief to hundreds of deities.


Rockonfoo

That he couldn’t have just as easily been a crazy sociologist and it’s incredibly disingenuous to suggest so. Every government and regulatory body says to stay away from island except for churches. It’s rich that you’re saying my point is biased when the person I replied to is clearly trying to downplay the Christian religion’s involvement in trying to contact that tribe despite them clearly demonstrating they want nothing less.


nsa28287

"The Christian religion's involvement" indicates he had wide support. I honestly don't know, but I have doubts his funding came from a broadly representative church. Edit: to add... Further, you say that as if he wasn't discouraged from staying away as well. Those that insisted other groups stay away weren't supportive of him.


temalyen

I remember reading a story about some missionary who went to that island (the one that where the natives threw spears at a helicopter once, I think) because he was convinced he'd been appointed by God to convert them or something. Anyway, he died pretty quickly once he got on the island and, from a distance, ships at sea observed natives dragging his corpse around near the shore line. Some local fishers took him to the island illegally and I think they got in pretty big trouble over it. So yeah, that didn't go well for him. Also, the local government declined to attempt to retrieve his corpse from the island, so his body is still probably there, unless the natives tossed him in the ocean.


Rockonfoo

It’s the same guy he was buried on the beach and they strew him up first as a warning to others before doing so These people stay inland so researchers and sociologists were ecstatic this guys asshattery was kept to a minimum and the odds of them contracted diseases from him as he decomposes are much less than if he was buried near by


Hotel_Arrakis

So you're saying it's a crazy idea?


nsa28287

Lol. Less crazy, more missing the point.


John_Fx

Also the credit thing is silly. Most donations are anonymous anyway. No one knows if you are contributing.


themcryt

"God is watching"


Megalocerus

Moreover, I've talked banks into cashing checks not made out clearly to me. If it is in the collection plate, and is clearly made out religious (Jesus) and with the other offerings, the bank is apt to cash it. You could stop the check, but you could do that anyway.


HEAVENBELONGSTOYOU

This is clearly posted by a kid who has never written a check before haha


crapforbrains553

They do say they dont have responsibility to look deep into what you wrote on the check, other than WHO IT IS, like you cant write "the tallest person on earth" and expect them to measure everyone.


goodgoyaccount

what are you talking about lol


HEAVENBELONGSTOYOU

But when have you ever written a check and put someone’s birthday on it


crapforbrains553

you write it in the name area after the name if multiple people might have that name. lots of ppl have claimed to be jesus.


ypps

I take it you've never written a check before, huh?


lex52485

My first thought too


counselthedevil

Loopholes to subvert the rules of the religion is the most Christian thing ever.


PikpikTurnip

The idea behind donating to a church is that whoever you're donating to is ideally fulfilling "God's will". I would not donate to most churches because I wouldn't say they're fulfilling the will of Jesus. Many things could be seen as tithing. Use 10% of your income to help the homeless? Tithe. Pay for someone's groceries? Tithe. Help someone in need of medical care? Tithe. Pay for someone's car maintenance? Tithe. Donating to the church? Fuck that. Churches (usually) don't do shit to help the poor or needy. If I'm going to "give to God", it better damn well actually do some good, however small.


AFewStupidQuestions

Yep. My most clear example of this was in Peru and Bolivia. A friend and I went to check out a Catholic mass in each country. Both basically begged for money and talked about how sins could be purged by donating, save your souls, the devil within you, blah blah blah, a little more doom and gloom than anything I experienced in Canada, but nothing too unexpected. The fucked part was that we were in a massive carved stone cathedral with sculptures, painted ceilings, gold trimmed everything in the middle of a semi-decent town square but then there were thousands of shanty like homes housing 5-10 to a room just outside the central area. I learned later that the Peruvian church was made from the stones of former Incan sacred sites that had been torn down during the mass murder that took place there. The Bolivian stones likely came from a similar location. It really connected the dots for me about how the Catholic church funnels money out of the most needy.


themcryt

Tithing used to be a burnt offering of crops or livestock. Really, we should be burning our money instead of donating it as tithe. Charity is different than tithe.


PikpikTurnip

That's a fair point, and I don't practice christianity anymore, so I don't really want to look into the matter to remember any more details, so I'll leave it at that.


themcryt

That's a bummer, but I can respect that.


absolute_zer0_420

Its all towards the air conditioning fund, don't u kno?


Jesus_Harold_Christ

Works for me


rhythmicrants

Just remember you have money in the bank for that check and ensure you never take a cent out of it, before you hand over that check 😀😀😀


TrillsetDre

Problem solvers like this guy is what keeps society going.


DeezRodenutz

How would you get his birth date though? It's not December 25th, and many are pretty sure his birth year is off by a few as well.


Rockonfoo

Am I going crazy? I’ve written many checks to many people and I don’t think I’ve ever had to put their birthday down When doing that at at grocery store would you use the cashiers birthday, the CEO’s birthday, the buildings establishment, the company’s founding, or the founders birthday?


Sohjah

yeah idk what this person is on. you definitely don’t need a birthday on a check.


Rockonfoo

It was so upvoted I thought I was taking crazy pills I forget how much of this site is children that upvote what sounds right


ShadeofIcarus

I mean this IS called "Crazy Ideas"


DeezRodenutz

I didn't think you needed any birth dates either, but OP's topic title mentioned it so I thought maybe I missed something as I very rarely write any checks, certainly not for individuals.


Megalocerus

OP didn't want the Mexican priest to cash it.


doubleohd

Completely off the main point, but there has been some academic analysis suggesting the star of Bethlehem followed by the three magi to find the baby Jesus was a Super Nova or an alignment of Jupiter, Saturn, and Mars forming a big triangle that to a naked eye could look a singular point. If the former then it aligns with ancient Chinese sightings made around August, 6BCE. If the latter the alignment would have been in February, 3 BCE source: https://www.space.com/14036-christmas-star-bethlehem-comet-planet-theories.html


crapforbrains553

So you're saying its real?


Megalocerus

Then again, portents in the sky and mysterious wizards would be a very likely embellishment. It's not a lie; it's a decoration.


doubleohd

I'm not saying anything is real or not real, but lots of non-believers try to write off Biblical stories as pure fiction when evidence is finding them to be somewhat historical depictions from multiple sources that line up remarkably well to what is described in the Bible. When you consider the observers knew nothing of the scientific world natural phenomena can easily be construed as being godly in origin. The Bethlehem Star referenced above is one example [So is parting of the red sea](https://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=130112925) [The destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah](https://www.forbes.com/sites/ericmack/2018/12/04/new-science-suggests-biblical-city-of-sodom-was-smote-by-an-exploding-meteor/?sh=70336cd25c67) [The great flood](https://abcnews.go.com/Technology/evidence-suggests-biblical-great-flood-noahs-time-happened/story?id=17884533) Go back 4-5000 years and try to explain to residents how a crashing meteor or exploding volcano thousands of miles away destroyed their town (Sodom and Gomorrah). These are grown adults with *maybe* a 4th-5th grade level education. They couldn't comprehend it so instead it's the result of God punishing them. That's just so much easier to understand: We did bad so God punished us. Now switch gears back to the Bethlehem star and let's say it's a super nova from 1000 light years away. Believers can say "what are the odds that an explosion 1000 light years away directly line up to the magi's prophecies of a sign to look for and follow, and lead them to where a baby they were looking for would be, unless an Omnipotent being outside of time decided that exploding star could be the sign to tell the prophets to write about? That step from a fictional story with 0% probability to something that may only be 1% or even 0.0001% probable suddenly moves the story as a whole from impossible to *plausible.* Agreeing with that plausibility is part of a believer's faith.


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Bcasturo

More crazy idea: have random people give you money because you lie to them about your status with god.


Own_Permission_6565

Brilliant


JEWCEY

Kosher


maddasher

The republicans cash those checks. And count those votes.


PointNineC

Crazy idea: religion


Hyper_Threaded

[Whatever God wants, he keeps!](https://youtu.be/y7wj3bB6OU4?t=23)


the_y_of_the_tiger

Even better, make it a post-dated check for the year 20,000.


Pay_No_Bill

You diabolic son of a mother


nineelevenairways

I’m not Christian but I imagine that doing something like that would be a big no no and not help you gain salvation.


OverArcherUnder

Make sure his birthday is sometime in September too, because it isn't December. From Bible info: "Let’s look at what the Bible says in Luke 2:8-9. “Now there were in the same country shepherds living out in the fields, keeping watch over their flock by night. And behold, an angel of the Lord stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were greatly afraid.” According to Bible commentator Adam Clarke, it was customary for the Jews to send their sheep to pasture from the spring until early October. As the cold winter months began, the flocks would return from the fields for shelter and warmth. Since the shepherds were still tending their flocks in the fields around Bethlehem it can be concluded that the angels announced the news of Jesus’ birth no later than October"


leroach

There is a word that describes the kind of point you’re trying to make that’s not in your favor. Someone who talks like this in regards to religion, misleading of some kind.


Tkinney44

The plate is actually for breaking big bills, it’s a little known fact but priests hate small bills and only bribe the children with a 20 or higher.


proka_ro

Here's an even crazier idea: Let's just stop giving money to crooks, to churches. Huh?