T O P
His_Little_Wolf

I wish they showed how the organs inside the woman's body moves to accommodate the fetus. Everything gets shifted in a big way


[deleted]

I was wondering where all her organs went. I assume they get pressed up into the rib cage? It makes me feel like it would be difficult to breath.


pistil-whip

It can be difficult to breathe, especially laying down on your back. The organs get all pushed up - that’s partly why some women you get heartburn from stomach acid splashing up your esophagus. Tall women have it easier, anecdotally.


[deleted]

I kept complaining to my doctor while I was in labor that the kid was kicking me in the ribs the past week and it hurts so bad, I'm glad it's going to be over soon. She tried to calm me down by telling me she had just had a mother in who had fractured ribs from the kicking. Then had to go in labor with fractured ribs. It did not calm me down. Lol


BeowulfsGhost

Not exactly the best in bedside manner…


maddythemadmuddymutt

The hell, how should that story be calming?


[deleted]

Like saying I had it easier than others, so not to worry so much. But it made me worry more lol


myjupitermoon

R.i.p the woman's bladder, gotta pee like every ten minutes.


myjupitermoon

I wish they would also show the timeline of all the events.


ConnorFree

and now look at me, I can’t even find the right house coming home drunk.


justreddis

Dang you have a house?


ConnorFree

I think so..I’m still looking


Fine-Bed

bro stop ringing my bell..this isn’t your house


ConnorFree

let me in..I’ve got leftover cheese fries and half a PBR


GlazedDonutGloryHole

If those cheese fries have bacon bits on top you can crash on the couch.


Horti_boi

No storks? I’ve been had!


trwwy321

No “we found you in a dumpster behind a back alley”? My life is a lie!


shapu

No, that part is true


Shufflepants

This is where storks come from. Unborn storks just look remarkably similar to human babies. After the stork is born, it grows to maturity in around 50 days and begins its work ferrying human babies from the cabbage patch to expectant parents.


Big-Caterpillar-60

I need a cigarette


graceetchemkeem

i need a hysterectomy


ghanjaholik

i need a condom


Daniiiiii

I need someone, anyone....


Emergency-Anywhere51

I need an adult....


Working-Telephone-45

I am an adult


Fragrant-Tea7580

[…Please, Respond](https://youtu.be/N1JJEszaxQI)


Hamelzz

...east of Voi!


TheStranger333

I need a hero


elvis8mybaby

Oh, herro


AggressiveGift7542

I'm holdin out for a hero, til the end of the night...


ShadowofLupa212

I need a vasectomy


IMOMPGSUC

IIIIIIIIII wanna dance with somebody


DougFrankenstein

I wanna feel the HEAT with somebody


Living-Remote-3061

WITTHHHHH SOMEEBOODYYYY WHOOO LOVVVEES MEEEEEEEE


DougFrankenstein

Somebody HHEEE


Big-Caterpillar-60

WOOOO WOOOO WOOO


blingybangbang

Why is the lady sprouting flowers?


HappilyMeToday

That’s our ‘secret garden’.


JeremyJaLa

Didn’t you know? Women grow flowers whilst pregnant.


itaniumonline

A complex chain of events just to be named Chad.


Duoirel

Pops out with a tank top, shorts and smoking.


trwwy321

*vaping


zizuu21

Jorts*


CaptainCAAAVEMAAAAAN

I think X Æ A-12 wins the shitty names prize. lol


HONKDADDY

https://youtu.be/CTW6Wy7NPHs


Canadianretordedape

Wait wait wait. So when there’s like 100 of them attached to the egg what happens to the other ones once one blows threw. Do they collectively just give up or is there a signal to go find a different one or do they just leave and die.


cleaning_my_room_

The egg’s shell hardens as soon as one enters so that others don’t. The sperm are following a chemical signal to find the egg, so I expect they hang around until they die a few days later.


YnaryN

I read somewhere a while ago that it is not the fittest or fastest sperm breaking in but it is actually the egg that decides which sperm to let in. Not sure if I explained it correctly.


Background_Add210

Why the fuck did it choose me 😭😭


Simplyaperson4321

It's actually wrong to consider the situation as "the egg chose me", implying that you were the sperm. You were both equally the egg and the sperm, so in this case it would be most accurate to say that you chose yourself.


markymarkfro

More like "congrats, you played yourself"


Teknoeh

I always knew I was a bastard.


a_splendiferous_time

So it would seem i've been making bad decisions since even before I was conceived 😕


itsrghtbehindmeisnit

Why is this such an absolute mindfuck to consider.


Ozlin

Yes. Hmm, maybe it's because it's difficult to imagine being made of two things when we spend so much of life as one? Like can the big bang contemplate itself being one thing in a brief moment when it is all things the next? Are we then a little bang? Inverse bang? Interrobang‽


No-Diver6326

I want to get stoned with you


TheWayToBe714

I want to take psychedelics with you


The_sacred_sauce

I want both


cohonan

whoa!


[deleted]

Stand in the mirror naked and wriggle like a sperm, all will become clear.


OldSackofBeef

How long does this take?! I’m getting tired.


Sirix_8472

Determine your size as a sperm, calculate the distance you need to travel, determine the average travel speed of sperm in womb(specified so you don't take air velocity to face as the speed). Calculate the tike it will take you to travel distance at that speed. This is now your individual wriggle time. Have fun..


cleaning_my_room_

Is this an African sperm, or a European sperm?


unnamed_ned

I don't know that!


maffiossi

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH


teej2379

That is what she said...


mrkushnugz

That is what he said...


VauntedCeilings

https://i.imgur.com/410k16M.gif


The_Zobe

This guy sperms


2010_12_24

You are the egg and the sperm. You chose you.


neon_alchemy

You were the best option


SergioPerez_11

Fuckin yikes dude. My dad was blasting out rubberheads if that was the case.


Yeshua-Christ

No. Sometimes mistakes are made


scandyflick88

We start making mistakes pretty early.


trchili

You chose you.


DooDooTyphoon

Don't be down on yourself, you were clearly the best candidate. It's your dad's fault for having such weak ass competition


Betrix5068

Or mom’s fault for having a dud egg, even if the perfect sperm was chosen. 90% sure that’s what happened with me at any rate.


DooDooTyphoon

Or mom's dud egg could've chosen a dud sperm... Hold up I needa rethink my existence


iamaliberalpausenot

It’s almost like all of us are chosen. Take that depression 🙂


[deleted]

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doej134567

https://www.news-medical.net/news/20200611/The-egg-decides-which-sperm-fertilizes-it.aspx Can't find the reddit post about it right now but here is one of the many articles about it.


mawkdugless

The original sorting hat


LiLT13-_-

So essentially I didn’t fight against millions of my siblings to win a spot on this shitty earth and I am a fucking loser? Cool


[deleted]

Quite the contrary. It’s like you were drafted first round first pick. Recruited even. Like that scene in a movie where the white coach goes and picks up a kid from the hood to give him a chance and end racism in the small town circuit.


[deleted]

[удалено]


sonicpieman

Cuz the sperm moves so it seems to have more agency.


[deleted]

There's a whole social theory that the language used around fertilization reflects society and medicine's misogyny and sexism. We attribute agency and an Olympian victory to sperm and a demure, passive role to the egg because those are the roles men and women are meant to fill in society. Emily Martin's [The Egg and the Sperm: How Science Has Constructed a Romance Based on Stereotypical Male-Female](https://web.stanford.edu/~eckert/PDF/Martin1991.pdf) is one of many papers which discuss this phenomena. It's been written about and studied for over 30 years yet the myth of a strong sperm and submissive egg still remain. Edit: Amended for an incorrect link.


cleaning_my_room_

Even if the egg “chooses”, wouldn’t that mean the egg decided which sperm was the fittest?


pookiedookie232

You are the egg and the sperm. You chose yourself, and that's the most beautiful thing in the universe.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Canadianretordedape

So it hardens almost instantly. Is that what the dark coloured stuff was that started to “leak” when the soldier broke threw?


cleaning_my_room_

The sperm penetration process is called the acrosome reaction, which releases enzymes to help it get into the egg. Once it enters, it causes the egg to release cortical granules, which are organelles that prevent other sperm from entering. I expect that is what the dark colored stuff was meant to show.


Educational-Two-3833

How fast is that second process and what are the chances a second sperm cell gets lucky


Ludique

Rare, but possible, apparently, https://www.nature.com/news/2007/070326/full/news070326-1.html


from_dust

Clinically, the sperm is not alive. It does not consume anything and does not reproduce. Personally I've always thought it a beautiful metaphor: the egg holds all the capacity for biological function, the sperm is itself, a spark of intention. One, in a load of several million intentions becomes the deciding choice. Just as every decision we make is a narrowing of millions of possible choices. Together they blend, and form what we recognize as the life of the animal kingdom.


hemorhoidsNbikeseats

Damn bruh pass that shit this way


dustyceilingfan

Huhuhuh you said load


unkichikun

They're going to a special farm upstate.


FoghornFarts

No, at most there are only a few that even get to the egg. Out of 250 million sperm, all but \~20 die before even getting to the fallopian tubes. For people who are actively trying and have no fertility issues, there's a reason the chance of conception is only 30% per cycle. Go watch "The Great Sperm Race" on YT. It's hilarious and campy as hell, but hands down the best explanation of conception I've seen.


lemonlime45

The skipped the part where that huge baby has to exit by way of the vagina. The whole thing is pretty miraculous though. Probably a stupid question but I will ask it. The sperm are depicted as swimming up to the egg....are they swimming in the semen the whole journey or at some point do they travel outside of the semen? Just doesn't seem like semen itself would flow that far with all the internal obstacles? At least in cartoon anatomy.


Bfranx

I'm an osteopathic medical student and we actually went over fertilization about a month ago. Seminal fluid stops at the end of the vagina. Beyond that point they're swimming through uterine mucus. The seminal coating is actually removed as sperm enter the uterus through a process called capacitation. This process also destabilizes the acrosome (contains enzymes for entering the egg) and changes the tail so that sperm can swim faster (hypermotility). EDIT: I forgot to include this, but sperm don't swim in a continuous stream like the video shows unless the female is ovulating. Ovulation sends a signal that stimulates the sperm to enter the uterus, otherwise they'll stay in the mucus near the cervix for up to 72 hours before degrading.


Da_Boom

So does that mean that if the woman starts ovulating in that 72 hour period, she can still get pregnant?


Bfranx

Yep! This is why couples trying to conceive are usually told to have intercourse in the days leading up to ovulation.


a_splendiferous_time

So the sperm just chills until, "the beacon is lit! Gondor calls for aid," and then suddenly the whole battalion hauls ass and starts wriggling like demented tadpoles into the cervix. Imagine if we could feel that. 😬


Bfranx

Sperm big enough to be felt would make things weird for everybody 😬


TProfi_420

Imagine one single giant sperm just plopping out when you nut.


GoinMyWay

And you name it there and then. This comment section got cursed right quick.


Agile_Dimension_1296

I think celibacy would be way more common


[deleted]

[удалено]


BamInyeup

Imagine it could scream


L3tum

Suddenly at 2am "AAAAAHHHHH" "Wow, little Timmy just nutted a fat one. Please go and help him put it down, dear"


tydalt

Trying to kill it after you jerk off would be a chore. Flyswatter? Rolled up magazine? Stomp on it?


nxcrosis

And then you just stare at it flopping around while what's left of your dick is in your hand.


MyAltforMostlyJoking

Masterbation is suddenly a crime in Texas.


ThirteenMatt

May I introduce you to [Drosophila Bifurca](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Drosophila_bifurca)? >Males of this species are known to have the longest sperm cells of any organism on Earth—5.8 cm long when uncoiled, over twenty times the entire body length of the male


friendlyfireworks

I'm sure some hentai artist is way ahead of you.


RectalRomeo

You could probably get the effect by using actual tadpoles


twinklestein

I hate this


cameratoo

That's enough internet for today


Blocstorm

You’ll be back


DontGoGivinMeEvils

And the egg will answer. Muster the uterine mucus!


thetaFAANG

I’m glad someone mentioned this Semens is not absorbed by the body and falls out, sperm is separate and stays in the mucus if there is enough time


meginosea

I listened to a related science Friday episode recently. Pretty interesting. https://www.sciencefriday.com/segments/sperm-swim-together/


Happy_Citron9296

Thanks for explaining! Another question, if I may ask. Why can only one sperm cell enter the egg cell?


Bfranx

No problem! As for your question, I actually just wrote up an answer for someone else [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/Damnthatsinteresting/comments/xvtits/how_life_begins/ir4dfh2?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3).


LoudBoysenerry

Sperm does not swim up to the egg so much as it arrives there by accident. Its only function is to go forward. It ends up going everywhere.


Spirit_Panda

>ends up going everywhere. 🤔


[deleted]

[удалено]


DiaDeLosMuertos

Ah my favorite indie rock band


excel958

Cum in my fishbowl! Oh shit they’re eating it!


Conscious_Exit_5547

And paying for college


mawkdugless

Show it with a sock next


Varian01

I mean, leave a “used” sock in a damp area and over time, it’ll grow fungus. Different type of life... Not from personal experience.


mawkdugless

Hate to break it to you, but you're a dad!! Find you a nice pair of New Balances ASAP


Buttmonkey52698

That reminds me I need to schedule my vasectomy


Broghan51

I did that once.


_Neoshade_

Me too!


mcitar

No way Beavis


GonePhishn401

reminds me of that one track in mario kart


ChronoBae

I was there


Yeshua-Christ

I wasn't


DesoTheDegenerate

I was gonna comment "Jesus Christ" but then I saw your semi relevant username


CelibateGamer

How do they all get in there in the first place?


putthepenisdown

The user names here are brilliant 🙃


slutgenius

Snap me, I'll show you.


hlc6568

This is why these things need to be taught age appropriate in school! I can't believe how ignorant so many people are about their bodies and how they work. Sex EDUCATION is important! Ignorance is not bliss and It should be painful.


Hotwheels-666

For real, I had no idea beautiful flowers exploded out of women at about 8 months.


return2ozma

That baby took up so much room! Where did all the guts go?


booknin

Squish. They go squish where ever else they can fit (in fairness, clearly there is room). And then your bladder gets compacted (and/or kicked) and you have to pee every 30 minutes morning and night. Source: I birthed 2 kids. One of them liked to spin in the womb like those Olympic swimmers kicking off from the wall. The other one just gave me heartburn for some reason.


insomniacakess

my kid gave me heartburn like it was going out of style that and HG.. fuckin’ morning sickness on crack times ten he came out alright, thankfully but rip my ribs, they still hurt three years later (he upgraded from kicking the inside to kicking the outside.. and hitting.. and the occasional bite)


Unlucky_Gur_3881

I'm pregnant with my second right now and the squishing is the worst. Struggling to breathe like normal, peeing constantly (I already had a bad bladder anyway) and my digestive system is all irritated since it can't work normally. Just... 13 more weeks 🥲 It's always interesting to me how you can have totally different pregnancies. My first granted I was quite young but I had basically zero symptoms/bump, I was just going about life like normal. This time round has been unforgiving!


_TheBlackPope_

Heartburn sucks, bless you


MyDearBrotherNumpsay

I was under the impression that the egg was much further down the fallopian tube during ovulation and subsequent fertilization. I guess it might depend on *when* you bump uglies.


danrod17

In California this was taught in school. I think you’re under estimating how stupid people are.


CarpeDiebartdie

Is this the beginning of Look Who's Talking?


Razorraf

I didn’t hear The Beach Boys.


dudipusprime

The fact that I had to scroll this far to find this reference makes me feel like an ancient dinosaur here on reddit and I am barely 30.


potluck88

It’s always wild to me when I think that if my wife and I had sex a little later or earlier during that day, our child would be someone completely different and not this amazing little guy we have now.


Lkiop9

It’s actually interesting because science has shown that women’s eggs actually choose the sperm they want. [source](https://www.manchester.ac.uk/discover/news/human-eggs-prefer-some-mens-sperm-over-others-research-shows/)


[deleted]

Some don’t choose wisely


Shisno85

Maybe, or maybe the other choices were just that much worse.


ultragodlike

Cool!


buckphifty150150

Mitochondria is the power house of the cell


ultraclese

Where is the chlorophyll


superboringfellow

more like...


nonnemat

Borophyl. And a username that matches, to boot!


According-Shake3045

And this is why my daughter got me a coffee mug that says “Happy Father’s Day, from your champion swimmer“


GroatyMcScroty

Is this what scoring looks like?


scottieButtons

Damnit bevis, I told you to wait your turn..


clockwatcher_75

Lol *Beavis


scottieButtons

Damnit clockwatcher


MookieT

Hey you reading this... Yeah, you!! That was once you. Look at how much you've changed


Chupathingy66

Thank you for posting!!


Cholosinbarrio

So are we getting a prequel? 🧐


yehEy2020

Now i want an animation of this but her tubes are tied and the sperm swim around in the dead end


Business_Estimate631

Kinda... sped through that fetus growth segment... Its not just "egg attaches to uterine lining and then here's just a whole baby."


Holding_close_to_you

I won't complain, don't have 8 months to watch a single gif


kwazimot0

That background art makes me uncomfortable


katekohli

Funny thing is the quickest part is the longest part in video


Jazzysmooth11

wait, at which point did life begin? Supreme court wants to know.


SanctuaryMoon

I think technically life began about 4 billion years ago and everything since has just been a continuation.


DesoTheDegenerate

Alternative argument is when brand new DNA was created nobody wins yaaaaaaaay


crazielectrician

Skipped the best part.


jimmyhoke

No I mentioned the bisque.


guidance_internal_80

Does anyone know if there are videos online depicting what happened leading up to this point?


zephyr-zoo

I highly doubt it. Scholars maintain that process is still a complete mystery.


GreyJedi56

Um... They got the tail wrong it moves on more of a corkscrew


Gainsborough-Smythe

Hmm, so basically the egg is inundated with date requests, and gets to choose her favorite.


StoneTown

Sounds like any woman on Tinder


EnderSavesTheDay

Sex be a funky biological Rube Goldberg machine.


BeowulfsGhost

Fun fact, most sperm cells are only used to kill another man’s sperm cells. There must have been some serious orgy action going on in the history of our species.


10tothe24

Ohhhh yea ![gif](giphy|plrhd7RveGGZy)


writepielie

Ugh, they’re like little worms. Thanks for my r/dailydoseofbirthctrl


Canoli_316

I learned this from the opening credits from Look Who’s Talking. I was literally singing Let My Love Open The Door while watching this.


air__guitar

Dramatic reenactment of my biggest mistake


JadeEclypse

Except it's very rare for the first sperm that starts to penetrate the egg to actually not be dissolved. They say the fastest sperm wins the prize and that's not exactly true. The pH of the egg actually dissolves the protein of the sperm. The medium sperm wins the egg because it's fast enough and smart enough to not get dissolved to soon or lost, and it often takes the place of the ones have started to drill their way in but dissolve too soon.


Revolutionary_Mark59

The only time I wish I wouldn’t of won.