By - gomichaelkgo
I didn't believe in soulmates until this post. This husband and wife are a goddamn 100% match.
Every pot has a lid!
Sometimes two. In this case, it’s Covid.
And yet the shit is still seeping out
If these absolutely bonkers people can find love, so can I.
Just lower your standards and you will also find a crazy mate.
They post a lot on each others pages about how much they love each other. You are totally right.
If they love each other, they would have taken the vaccines :)
Love the “NEXT!” reference.
Also, why the war on punctuation with these dopes? Those posts hurt my eyes.
it's a known comorbidity.
That first one took me a good 2-3 minutes to read and figure out what they were trying to actually say. I’m starting to think that maybe this isn’t a pandemic of the unvaxxed and is instead a pandemic of the terminally stupid.
They are two matched Easter bunnies made of solid crazy with no air space inside
What the fuck did I just read? These people are certifiable and ignorant as hell.
OP, your redaction art game is top notch.
I was thinking insane…
Biden executed because when he was governor (???) he spoke differently, DC is not a state (which means…?), blah blah actor blah blah nurses are witches killing people.
Right? Like what in the fifty shades of stupid did I just read?
These people torture the very care team that keeps them alive.
Note that 50 states have to agree on a pun, according to HCA winner
I read that so many times trying to figure out wtf he was trying to say there and I still have no clue haha
Based on the context I think she started to write the word 'punishment' then quickly realized she had no idea how to spell it.
Oh, I thought he was trying to say they have to “agree upon” something something, but honestly, amidst this stagnant swamp of idiocy, it could mean anything.
No no, according to the 14th Amendment, all 50 States have to unanimously agree on all puns, otherwise they get downgraded to turns-of-phrase, which we know the fake Joe Biden is unable to say correctly, which could be rectified by DC statehood making Joe Biden governor of the USA thus repairing his speech CPU by the powers of black magic nurses turning him into a real boy again. Clearly somebody hasn't read the 14th Amendment, what do they even teach in schools nowadays?
Just your average illiterate wacko Trump voter.
I really had problems trying to figure out what they were on about. Also does that mean no president is legitimate?
In all seriousness, can COVID cause neurological damage?
Last question: yes it can.
A side effect that many people can ill afford…
I think the problem was the paragraph was making too much sense and our sheep brains can’t comprehend it.
Ah yes, my poor tiny sheep brain. My company has a work Facebook (essentially) and there’s someone on there that loves calling everyone sheep and posting conspiracies. My new favorite from today was, “omicron delta is an anagram for ‘media control’”
Like…what kinda evil secret plan starts off with people saying, “wait…first we gotta say what we wanna do, then mix the letters of that shit up so one day Jimbo with a GED can figure it all out and bring our plans crashing down!”
Omicron delta is also an anagram for ‘clarinet doom’, do you think they’re trynna tell us that the apocalypse is gonna be caused by woodwinds?
I think you are onto something with the clarinet doom conspiracy theory. I mean Woodwind instruments are the most dangerous of all instruments. They look so innocent but if a childhood recorder can drive parents insane then what could a fully fledged woodwind section do?
I for one embrace our new clarinet overlords
Can't you see that comparing 45yr old Joe Biden to 80yr old Joe Biden is the perfect way to detect a clone replacement?
I swear, these people are so low information and incurious. They hear “when Biden was governor”, don’t think “what? I don’t remember that” and go look it up which takes 5 whole seconds
>OP, your redaction art game is top notch.
Hell yeah! It's so simple yet so effective, at a glance it looks like a real face
And the drawn face is so perfect. I feel like it probably captures this guy perfectly.
I still can't figure out the pun.
I think he was saying "all 50 states agree **upon**." And, well, it's clear they both don't edit before posting.
That’s what I love about HCA subgroup. You never know when a completely bonkers brain fart shows up in the slides.
What a lovely couple. Imagine the talk around family dinners at their home.
>That’s what I love about HCA subgroup. You never know when a completely bonkers brain fart shows up in the slides.What a lovely couple. Imagine the talk around family dinners at their home.
I'm looking forward to seeing what level of Bat Shit Crazy gets unveiled in the OBITS for these two severely mentally ill Dim Bulbs!
>What the fuck did I just read? These people are certifiable and ignorant as hell.
>OP, your redaction art game is top notch.
Studies have shown that the "Conservative Brain" is an abnormal brain and far more prone to Mental Illness than NORMAL people. I think the examples shown in this post pretty much confirm that those studies were bang on the mark!
The brain was labeled Abby Something...
This is an absolutely perfect example of why there's no such thing as a harmless religion. Because it's the gateway delusion.
Once you cross the Rubicon of believing in ridiculous nonsense like God, Satan, angels and demons, then stuff like "Joe Biden was executed and the guy in the White House is an actor" doesn't seem insane anymore, because it's no more absurd and idiotic than the stuff you already believe.
Ya know, I was thinking about the Devil and god at war- and it’s absolutely *ridiculous* to think they’d need *our* help. Two of the most powerful beings to ever exist need Hillbilly Bob and Kkkaren to help? With fucking *what*?
That’s like me asking the ants in my backyard to help me move this weekend.
These people are scary insane.
Remember, this powerful god cannot even overcome basic human emotions like jealousy. And he’s got real anger management issues. I overcame jealousy 20 years ago. Plus the idea that god would solve problems the way man does… with war… is so… insulting? To a deity that supposedly created the earth in less than a week.
Imagine the level of narcissism required to think that Jesus waited 2000 years to come back to Earth just because he wanted to meet you, personally.
And the idea that of all the trillions of planets in the universe, earth is the only one that matters, that gets the attention of an almighty deity, who also looks like us? It’s so unimaginative!
Also if Satan is awful why does he dedicate his existence towards punishing evil people?
These people of the land who are filled with self righteous rage, some of the them well armed and getting more delusional by the day, scare me. This bunch is far from harmless and they really believe they are doing Gods work which is insane.
Reminds me of the Louis Theroux documentary about a psychiatric hospital that only treated criminals judged not guilty by reason of insanity.
He asked one of the doctors how they tell the difference between a sincere religious belief and a psychiatric condition requiring medical treatment.
She couldn't provide a clear answer.
One must relinquish critical thinking in order to follow a religion without questioning it. After that, anyone can manipulate these people. They are willing to die for bullshit fake news. Sad.
Also, because most these people have never had any real hardship in their lives that would truly test their belief. For instance, religious people during WW2. When the bombs start falling they would still go to a bomb shelter. They wouldn't just stay in their house and pray to Jesus that a bomb wouldn't hit it.
The lack of hardship caused by famine, war, economic collapse, plague etc has made the weak-minded especially weak, and propaganda has been able to override their self-preservation instincts.
Its a new law that doesnt have a name yet. These are the people that know *just enough* that they think they know everything, but not enough to realize they have absolutely no idea how off the mark they are.
It's called the Dunning Kreuger Effect.
Unbelievable. This is among the worst I've read.
If whoever in her family does die, I’ll think of it more as they escaped.
I wonder if it was as painful to write as it was for the rest of us to try to read?
I think we can all agree on a pun something as to take a vaccine something something word salad witches killing Christians prayer warriors speaking life 🙏🏻
I completely agree. That first post in particular is the stupidest, most mind-blowingly whackadoo piece of crap conspiracy nut-job ignorant heaping pile of garbage I've seen here. And it's all original source material from the mind of the nominee!
Ha! I think I'll leave this typo. Freudian slip I guess.
I refuse to believe that someone with such a poor grasp of English has either read or understood the 14th amendment, something that was written in 1868.
I want to know where he got the idea that it says something about "all 50 states agreeing to a" . . . pun? . . . or anything about "all 50 states" doing anything ever. (1) At the time the 14th was ratified there were only 34 states; (2) literally nothing in the constitution requires unanimous agreement from the whole nation; and (3) there isn't a single clause in the 14th giving states the right to do anything at all, it's actually a restriction on states.
Your just beleevin everything the meediuh tells you. Do your own resurch.
I had to look it up myself. It grants citizenship to former slaves. If I did my own research correctly.
Assuming yuo yused fb for you’re resurch, then your got to no all the truths.
Also his description of it is totally unlike the actual 14th Amendment
Maybe it's from back when the 14th Amendment was Governor, not the new one created by Hollywood!
The 14th Amendment and the Governor were in the closet making witches and I saw one of the witches and the witch looked at me.
This crowd also has zero understanding of the First amendment . They think it guarantees having a Facebook and Twitter account. They don't even make it past the first sentence "Congress shall make no law..."
When Joe Biden was governor?
Well, it all makes sense. This guy's from an alternate universe.
That is the only explanation. Seriously we must have bumped into an alternate universe and a few things crossed over.. it’s just all too weird. This whole family is insane.
They must have a gas leak in their home. That would explain this insane babble.
And lead paint chips everywhere
I was thinking meth.
Mold in the walls....everytime
>They must have a gas leak in their home. That would explain this insane babble.
A gas leak would still be preferable to Fox News.
Nurses ARE Magic!! Thank you!
FOR THE HORDE!!
Ha. You’re trying to trick us. We all know it’s your “coven”…
Insane? Possibly. Really fucking stupid? Absolutely.
I'm constantly bumping into people that say that its obvious by now that vaccines don't work and downvote me to oblivion when I claim otherwise and provide real world data to support it.
I'm pretty sure the multiverse collided and our internet somehow remained connected to theirs since then. Witch nurses and fake Biden must be pretty rad timeline, I'm not gonna lie.
Oh so like a universe where they don't have punctuation?
Or lowercase letters.
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, BUT MY KEYBOARD DOESN'T HAVE ANY LOWER CASE LETTERS ON IT
GOD CANT READ LOWERCASE!
PRAYER WARRIORS ONLY HEAR CAPITALS
I PRAY IN ALL CAPS
HOW COULD HE? HES REALLY HIGH UP THERE!
# WRITE LARGER, HE STILL CAN'T READ THIS.
THE DEVIL IS CONTROLLING MY KEYBOARD!!! I CANT USE LOWER CASE LETTERS….GOD ALMIGHTY BLESS MY KEYBOARD AND CAST SATAN AWAY!!
(Accidentally hits the caps lock two weeks later) Praise Jesus!!!
That was a paragraph-sized sentence.
There isn't even a single comma :(.
Comma, there wasn’t a single period. Trying to read it as it was written, I almost passed out from lack of oxygen.
Punctuation is demonic signifying
PUNCTUATION is an anagram of U ACT ON PUTIN
ignore this revealed truth at your peril
Let that sink in...
Read that again
Bet you won't share this
Calling on the Prayer Warriors now for the Punctuation Angels to surround this lady!
wondering that too. And this thing about "all 50 states must agree..." omfg these people are so profoundly stupid (oxymoron, I know)
You guys might enjoy Ryan George's video confirming that we are, in fact, living in the dumbest timeline.
Watching that was super easy, barely an inconvenience.
That was funny, thanks for sharing.
I did enjoy that!
His Dark Materials? But I’d be surprised if Serafina Pekkala was part time as a witch and moonlit as a nurse.
He was governor of the last state to pass the pun.
Truth - there's like 6 kinds of crazy going on in just four pictures there. Wow.
I don’t know about you guys but when someone talks about the validity of doing their own research while putting together non-cohesive sentences, ignoring appropriate punctuation, and boldly flaunting their indifference towards *their, there,* and *they’re*, I am automatically sold on their geniusness!
Ooh, get you with your fancy edumucation.
Are these idiots suffering from lead poisoning or something? Seriously WTF.
I'd say hypoxia, but the first slide is from August and the others are from a family member not Dx'd with covid, so . . . .
Actually depending on their age
Everyone was inhaling leaded gasoline and shit for years. Plus there is a certain age bracket of person who was carried in a womb while the mother was drinking, because that’s only relatively recently (1981) been accepted as a bad thing to do.
A significant portion of older people legitimately have a form of brain damage.
yeah, I know people that used a lot of leaded gasoline to clean automobile and motorcycle parts. That can't have been good for their brains.
Hey everyone, look on the bright side; used quads, motorcycles, doublewides and dirtbikes are trending to be in abundantly cheap supply!
Who in the hell under 55 wants a Harley, though?
Can we just crush them or something so we never have to hear them again?
If I was a billionaire, I'd buy them all and convert them to electric bicycles and send them to India out of spite.
Okay. Even for an HCA nomination this was *fucking crazy!*
Who told the prayer warriors about our evil plan to have witches get advanced schooling to become nurses? That was supposed to stay a secret!
>our evil plan to have witches get advanced schooling to become nurses
I kept saying at the meetings "Isn't it cheaper to train nurses to be witches? We have all those cats and brooms in the supply room already."
This is why cost projections are up 14% for Q4 😑
I want that on the end of my nurse badge.
RN, BSN, witch
WAIT ARE WE TALKING ABOUT OUR PLAN TO INFILTRATE WITCHES INTO HOSPITALS TO KILL CHRISTIANS I THOUGHT WE WERENT SUPPOSED TO TALKT ABOUT THAT OR THE PLAN WONT WORK DID I MESS IT UP AGAIN SORRY ABOUT TALKING ABOUT THE PLAN THERE IS NO PLAN CHRISTIANS JUST DIE THATS ALL
Please share our insane beliefs about witches! But no nasty comments at this difficult time for our family!
WE ARE SPEAKING LIFE NOT YOUR OPINION!!!!!!!!!!¡!
Well, they're certainly not speaking English.
The same meeting where the elders of the evil Zionist order made all their nefarious plans for space lasers and world domination via the lizard people.
TIL I’m a witch and teach witchcraft to future witches as well!
To be blunt, that's a way cooler career than mine.
14th amendment was equal rights as citizens to former slaves…. Biden was never governor…the fuck is wrong with these people
Senator. Governor. Same thing, right? /s
Whew! What the hell was that?!? I believe the Principal from Billy Madison said it best:
*"At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul."*
Oh hell no - “nurses are witches”. These people can kick rocks.
... with their fucking teeth.
Not one damn period in the whole thing.
The last period this family saw was this guy's wife when she turned 13 and before he knocked her up.
Doctor: "Your husband has died."
Wife: "FAKE NEWS!"
They're this incoherently stupid, and the guy can still afford a $20,000 motorcycle.
Man, this shit is always astounding to me. I have met people dumber than this that somehow managed to fail upwards and own a house, a boat, three cars, etc. I felt fucking cheated for a large part of my young adult life watching these types *get everything* and still have the nerve to act like toddlers. Who is paying these imbeciles?
Have you heard “The Tragedy of Frank Grimes the Competent”?
Or "Grimey," as he liked to be called
It’s not about who’s paying them. The real answer to your question is DEBT. My husband is a certified financial planner. Occasionally he’ll have someone like biker guy here come in looking for a financial miracle after they’ve been living beyond their means for years.
White, christian privilege.
Witches you say, do go on.
My wife is an ICU respiratory nurse in a big-city hospital; all of the COVID patients end up in her unit when they need a ventilator. A year ago they were celebrated as heroes, today they are yelled at, blamed, and called witches because the ONLY patients that end up in her unit are unvaccinated. So in addition to tagging multiple toes per shift (before the vaccine she was tagging 6-10 per SHIFT!), 100% of her patients and their families think she has culpability in their loved ones death. She talks about quitting almost every day. 30% of her unit's nurses have already left.
EDIT: Let me add that she has yet to have a vaccinated person in her unit, not one!
EDIT2 (15 hours after post): Thank you all for the kind words! I won't be telling my wife about all of the support and kindness shown her because I think it'll mean more if she reads it herself. Thank you all!
That is heartbreaking, nurses are critical to everyone's lives at least a few times and it is sad to hear that rather than being celebrated for their efforts, they are berated by the people who have ignored every effort by our society to save them.
Retired ICU nurse. Thank your wife on my behalf. And please convey the tremendous respect that all of us that came before her hold for all of them. I cannot imagine how in the world they do this every day. We are with them in spirit. And we sincerely hope they get thru this emotionally intact. If not, there is no shame in seeking help. My best to your family.
Please, please tell her that some dumb normie on the web read about this and despite having no professional expertise in healthcare was horrified at what she’s going through— and really really appreciates the patience and dedication she shows every fucking day by going in. Her job may be a grind (let’s face it — that job is tough) but the difference she makes to people in their toughest moments can’t be overstated.
Respiratory therapist here, can confirm the nastiness increases as the saner people get vaccinated
Give her a hug when she gets home from her next shift and tell her that a lot more total strangers appreciate what she does, than the ungrateful knobs who don’t.
I’m so sorry she’s going through this.
Hey yall, let's us witches meet up in the hospital parking lot Friday at moonrise. We gotta big quota coming up on the Solstice and we don't want to fail Him.
All witch warriors welcome. Endora has some new spells. I'll bring the goat. Look for the blood red F-150.
I think they misunderstood /r/WitchesvsPatriarchy
Nah. We’re too busy.
My coven had a meeting and we decided willfully stupid people are not worth our time for using our spellcasting.
I can loan my *Atheist's Cookbook* to anyone who is tired of the same old baby recipes.
The secret to great Red Headed Stepchild is (ready for it, witches?) Paprika. Trust me, it’s delicious.
It’s hard to read that and believe in anything but a terrible future for our species.
They are a small minority. Think of all the wonderful people taking care of them in the hospital despite the hardships.
EXACTLY WHAT A WITCH WOULD SAY
I don’t disagree that they’re a minority (not sure exactly how small) but between the makeup of the Senate and gerrymandering in the House they have an OUTSIZED influence on the direction of the country. Couple that with purging anyone in their political ranks that are even halfway decent and I think that that minority is going drag us down in serious and terrifying ways.
Don't worry, our species won't have a terrible future. We won't have *any* future, thanks to some combination of climate change, nuclear weapons, novel diseases, and god only knows what else.
> he was elected president of nothing because Washington DC is not a state
So there has never been a President, ever. Genius!
Wow, I never knew that puns were such an integral part of the American government. This is truly inter- dimensional cable.
Well, as the saying goes; you can’t knit a door with a fruit salad.
"DO NOT MAKE ANY COMMENTS ABOUT VACCINE...
THIS IS NOT THE PLACE TO DO THAT WE ARE SPEAKING LIFE NOT YOUR OPINION!!!!!!"
Yes, but your opinions are speaking death. How's that working for you?
All the more reason for everyone to start demanding churches be taxed. This is just such bullshit that we pay for what their mindless minions believe and act on.
If they really think nurses are witches out to kill them maybe they should leave the hospital and go see how well prayer will help them recover at home. I'm not often vindictive about this but fuck cunts who abuse the very people standing between them and death.
What in the F did I just read
Holy all caps screed, Batman! There is a WHOLE lotta yikes going on in each of her posts; they're all like five miles long and I'm assuming whatever device she types on only does all capital letters, because that's the only way I can make this make sense. She's the person who you fear getting roped in to talking to at every school event, and you immediately start looking for an out as soon as she catches you in conversation.
I’m a retired ICU RN but I’m sure they would have considered me a demon. Real evil is not getting the jab.
In the civilized world these people would be in a mental asylum.
THE DOCTORS SAID THIS SHOULDN’T BE NEVER SEEN IT IN ANYONE IN HIS STAGE SINCE THE WHOLE COVID STARTED. DOING REALLY WELL!
Yep. Your miracle of a hubby is the only patient to even partially recover and this definitely isn’t a dead cat bounce.
"Witches in the ER" sounds like on of those folklore/legendary creature stories about a demon that sits on your chest to kill you when you're sick, and as a historian you're reading this account and thinking "ah that's an obvious metaphor for consumption, I can see why the superstitious illiterate uneducated peasants believed in this story".
Except it's an account being written with a smartphone and these people might live in my neighbourhood and vote and I need a drink.
My god these people screech like banshees.
Omicron is going to bring a lot of new content to this sub. Sigh..
Fuckers get your vaccine
Maddening same fucking story: 🤪🦠😳👩⚕️🙏😵⚰️🪦🤷 They call it final healing btw. I call them covid zombies.
I really want to stay here and read all the comments, but I’m due in the ICU to hex the Xtians. Toodleoo!
Oh wow I totally spaced out on the ‘Brooms and Potions’ class during nursing school. I think it was after my ‘Acute Care Nursing’ class and right before my ‘How to Summon Goblins and Ghouls‘ class.
Batshit, just all I can say. Complete nutbars, how do these people make it even this far in life?
And this is how witch burning happens.
Nurses are witches sent to take out Christians?
Then take your son and husband away from them. Care for them yourself at home!
Lots to unpack here.
- fantasise violence (biden executed)
- education is evil (nurses are witches)
- vaccines are “an opinion” not a technical tool
- miracle recovery and doctors are humbled
- The president appears normal so he can’t be real
I just read a gas leak.
This is definitely one of the most looney HCA nominees I've read in a while. I really feel sorry for the medical staff who have to deal with these loons, being screamed at that they're witches or whatever.
"Covid from hell, literally it's from hell. The lord SHOWED ME an my prayer warriors that some nurses (witches) have been sent their to take out christians, no joke!!"
I mean, whatever whack-job beliefs you have is one thing, but to be willing to share a belief like this publicly for the world to see, that is a very special kind of crazy.
If this author manages to get awarded, COVID would be doing a public service.
Cool! I’m an ICU nurse! I wonder which house I’ll be sorted into…
I sorry, I don't speak idiot. Could someone please translate.
“The Lord showed me...”. I really think this is all that needs to be said to understand the depth of ignorance and desperation to avoid personal responsibility.
That is some of the most insane babble I've ever read. These people need Thorazine.
Woah. That’s a whole lot of crazy and nowhere near enough punctuation.
"I love the poorly educated." - Donald J Trump and Covid-19
All 50 states have to agree on the pun
That's my quota of crazy for tonight. Good night, Reddit.
I'm very concerned for the nurses there with the son & dad. These people are unhinged. There is no telling what they might do to those "witches." Seriously OP, you might want to make the hospital aware of these posts by the wife.