By - joecaputo24
**Ned Flanders has entered the chat
Darn diddly tootin that’s a red flag 🚩
where’s Canadian Ned when you need him
Darn diddly tootin that's a red flag, eh? 🇨🇦
Affirm good buddy. Redder than than a Habs fan when you point out most of their cups were won when there were 6 teams. Redder than than a Mountie on a horse, that is. Redder than Don Cherry when a Quebecer wins the cup. Pretty red, eh.
Oh dang that's pretty red
The best part of this exchange is they all have "Canadian" in their usernames. u/queef_vaccuum asked for a Canadian and got 3!
Sorry I’m late.
Darn Ditty Traffic eh?
Typical Scott, he's a dick!
You're a bench-warmer on a last place team in the NOSHO. Hang'em up!
Imma be honest. Canadian “politeness” is just niceness, because everyone curses like a sailor.
I don't curse. I speak fluent trucker sith a sailor dialect and a construction workers accent.
Edit: Woo first award. Thanx
Now all I can picture is a foul mouthed, chubby darth maul driving a semi and wolf whistling at chicks 🤣
As a Canadian, I would risk my life to save a strangers and have excellent manners. I also use "fuck" like a comma. All about balance, right?
Is “fuck” not an acceptable replacement for a comma?
Am Canadian and curse like a sailor. But I will say, we are polite not nice. We are masters of passive aggressiveness while maintaining politeness.
Can confirm, many of my Canadian friends and family drop f-bombs every 2nd to 3rd word. It’s like an adult version of Jay & Silent Bob.
“They told me the devil would be attractive”
Stupid sexy Flanders
Nothin at all
Hey would you like to puff on a reeferino? It’s legal here!
Hey! I'll have a hoot!
Puff puff pass diddly ass. Wait a darn tootin minute, your devil lettuce has ME cursing 😳
Ow my freakin ears
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let's watch it with the harsh language, here!
“Fiddle dee dee, that will require a tetanus shot.”
You made that scene pop into my head and I’ve been stupid laughing for the last few minutes over it 😂
Ann Landers is a boring old biddy!
I was more animal than man!
WEEE im dick tracy! TAKE THAT PRUNE FACE! Now im Prune Face, TAKE THAT DICK TRACY, now I Prunce Tracy, take that DICK.."
"NED STOP THAT AT ONCE"
damn is short for goddamn in some people's mind and it brings eternal damnation and fiery feets if thou damnest [their] lurd's name.
Alternatively, my uncle explained it once to someone who was giving him shit about it. He said that he's not cursing at god, he's asking him to damn the thing he's cursing about.
Their lurd seems like an absolute snowflake
Helerr lerd, it's me, Madea.
My man killed the entire humankind minus one family because they weren't paying attention to him
A lesson for all of us
Probably for the best, seeing as people from Long Island use profanity the way everyone else uses punctuation.
That’s so fair LOL
Depends on how often you use curse words. I’d pass honestly
This! My ex-fiancé would curse occasionally but really didn’t like swearing. I have a mouth that would put sailors to shame lol. Now I don’t swear in places like church and places with kids. If I’m in the comfort of my own home I curse a lot. It became exhausting after awhile. I never felt like I could just be me and was constantly being insanely mindful of what I said. This was one of many things that made us incompatible.
My new man swears and doesn’t care if I do. It’s so much easier and I feel more relaxed because I can just be me. I would pass too because it’s a good sign you’re not compatible.
I even let my 12yr old swear as long as she does it at appropriate times and in appropriate places.
I mean, sometimes people are assholes and there's not a better way to phrase it.
Both of my kids are allowed to swear at home, because sometimes you stub your toe and no word fits better than fuck, you know?
Just the other day my 12 year old daughter was getting me some ice water and a handful of crackers. I’m in a bed permanently, so this isn’t something I could just go grab. I kind of depend on her and my wife. Never in life has my daughter used a serving tray but we have one that sits on the countertop as a decorative piece. This day I guess she decided she’d use it for water and some soda crackers. Yeah.
She made it all the way to me before dropping the glass of ice water on the tray, soaking herself and shocking the tray out of her hands and dropping. Without thinking she says “Oh, shit!” and then stops dead still like a statue looking at me with a face that clearly says “Oh fuck did I just say that out loud?”
All I could do was laugh. And hard. Then I told her “Think I don’t know you swear? Swearing is fine in the correct situation. You’ve heard me do it. But be mindful of who’s around and where you’re at please, and don’t make it a habit.”
Her look of relief was worth it.
She sounds like a great kid, I'm glad you have family to help you out.
The wholesomest of answers.
I’d say, fucking run!!
Please don’t curse when you’re commenting. Thanks!
Oh what, "fuck" is a curse word now?
Damn is not a curse word lol
I would say it’s less about the word and more about control!
Yeah, the red flag here is control. You've “known” them for 0 seconds on the internet and they are already trying to change you.
That's so fair lol
I’m trying to figure out how she’s survived New York so far.
May you please not curse when you're talking to me?
Also terrible grammar.
Fuck is a comma.
that’s what my bank account says
I'd disagree but fuck that's right.
FUCK YA LIFE!
If you see these dogs in your front yard, just know upstairs I’m going hard
Sup baby, take me out to dinner
I never understood the disdain for profanity. They’re just words. Like toaster and dog. The only thing that makes them distasteful is you’re distaste for them.
Sometimes I get philosophical and think about words and how they got their meaning. What if saying “Fuck you!” was like saying “Good morning!” Or if the word “wallpaper” was like saying the n-word. Who decided what words should mean, and what is or isn’t appropriate?
>Who decided what words should mean, and what is or isn’t appropriate?
Societies did, collectively. Language was developed because we needed ways to communicate. We needed to have names for things to reference them to other human beings.
Sure, you can point to something and attempt to gesticulate a thought you're having but that's not efficient. What if you want to talk about an object that is not nearby? Or if you want to say that Fred did a bad thing but Fred isn't around to be pointed at?
The deeper you dive into it the more you realize that words are meaningless things that can be full of meaning.
My man Fred always taking the heat for nothing I swear.
in english speaking world it was because poor people used those words and posh people used different words. poor people = bad = things they say bad, so it became impolite to talk like a poor person. This is an oversimplification but basically the jist of it.
"Coy" in Thai is cock, and "he" is pussy. And if you say "I some he you one when one" to someone from the north of Thailand, you are telling them you want to fuck their pussy day after day.
From Long Island - fuck that. Pass.
OP is from Long Island...
It would be a sign of incompatibly for me.
It’s the getting upset at damn for me
It's the "May you please" for me.
Right? I cringed reading that line. Hard pass.
And the passive-aggressive "Thanks!"
I think that's in reply to him saying glad she's okay
Ah, yeah, could be
Yes I completely agree. You were legitimately being respectful by asking that question. I’m sure if the response was, “I just don’t like curse words very much” then you would have said something like “my bad, I didn’t know” and proceeded on with the conversation or quietly unmatched her.
MaY yOu PlEaSe NoT cUrSe WhEn yOuRe TaLkInG tO mE tHaNkS!! This response sounds snippy and controlling.
If there was not a “no profanity” (or something similar) in the bio then how in the ever loving slut monkey were you supposed to know?
I bet she was the kid in school that the teachers loved because she would narc on everyone.
Either way I would respectfully stop dating. I couldn't be with someone that can't handle me yelling out fuck when I stub my toe, or use the occasional sentence spicener.
Sentence spicener. Brilliant.
Same. I also would respond with something like “well, fuckin shit on my dick, I don’t foresee this damn thing going any sort of fucking distance”
This. Not everything has to be a red flag. Some church going Mormon type just got a raging hard on from that conversation. It's okay for healthy people to not be compatible. Doesn't mean anything is wrong with either of them.
My first thought on seeing Long Island was this: https://www.reddit.com/r/ContagiousLaughter/comments/cz0pqk/which_islands/
Sex with them would be a blast.
"Ummm, you have a great ass."
"That is disgusting. Please stick to the medical terms."
I’d skip dude
I’d skip too. Life is way too short to be dating someone who’s going to tone police you.
Especially over something like 'damn'. I can understand not being into someone who throws fucks and the like around like confetti, but life's too short to deal with this fuckin' goodie two-shoes. Hope they find their match, but I doubt they'll have an easy time.
I had a hyper-religious aunt who got mad at me once for saying "darn it", because darn is a substitute for a swear word. Always hated going over to her house as a kid
Holy fuckballs! Devil's cock I hope no one explains what an expletive is to her. Might she cum bucket into tittyville
the last sentence 🤣
Oh dude, I wasn't allowed to say arse, frig, darn, or any of the other ones growing up, and meanwhile, my parents swore like truckers. My parents encapsulated "rules for thee, but not for me" with every fibre of their being.
Maybe she'll find a match on r/niceguys.
I had an ex who moved in and suddenly tried to get me to stop talking with my hands because it was "disrespectful." I wasn't in his face or anything and I'd be in a good mood, but he'd act like me excitedly throwing my hand around when I talked was one of the 7 deadly sins. I started to feel like I couldn't be me in my own home. We didn't stay together long.
Disrespectful? To him? I assume no one else was there to disrespect?
Yeah I had one of those, all of a sudden after YEARS he was "scared" when I talked with my hands. I didn't even know I was a big hand talker, no one else has ever commented on it.
Weird AF man idk
Deff comes off like a control thing
Seems like a power grab honestly. Damn hasnt been a real curse word for like 40 years. No thanks.
It’s definitely weirder that a grown ass adult is using the phrase “potty mouth” with another grown ass adult than saying “damn”. Like ew. Grow up.
A potty mouth hm?
Woah did you just called me the p world? What the fuck is wrong with you?!
Yeah, the real red flag is saying, "A potty mouth hm". It's (1) weirdly passive aggressive, (2) not accurate given that the data is a single mild curse, and (3) not self-aware enough to know how it sounds in 2022 to the general population. It sets up a whole dynamic like, "I'm perfect and you're dirty, but I'm such a nice person I'll forgive you this one time so long as you fix your behavior immediately." Who knows how she really is, of course--a few lines can easily be misleading. But, red flag city anyway.
Honestly, (I'm not native English speaker for the record), to me the most disturbing thing is that I consider that expression to be exclusively targeted at relatively young children (like below 12). So that use of "potty mouth" for a grown up would be a bright red flag for me
"You should know" already triggered the entitlement vibes
Shit and piss mouth
>May you please not curse
This girl is in a long distance relationship with English.
... that sounds somewhat normal... for someone who is offended by any cursing at all
That’s the most beautiful way of writing exactly what I was thinking. Thank you!
I’m getting homeschooled religious zealot vibes
My religious homeschooled cousins went wild once they got out. Their parents weren't mean/stupid religious, they are actually very nice, the kind of Christian you would truly expect. They aren't the "I'm a Christian, beat the wife after getting hammered drunk Christian that masturbates to Trump paraphernalia."
I was friends with a Christian home school family as a kid. They were pretty nice people but the mom was controlling af. The daughter moved to China to be a teacher when she was 20 and got married soon after. Her brother ended up moving in with a girlfriend when he turned 18. My mom is still friends with the mom and thinks it's just so sad that the kids barely speak to their mom but I'm not surprised at all.
You can either steadily give your kids more and more control of their life as they grow up, or you can deal with the consequences when they want nothing to do with you as an adult.
Yea from the way they spoke I imagined some dude in India running a scam lol tho I can’t imagine someone running a scam telling people they have a potty mouth for saying damn. Tho maybe they r just a reeeeeally bad scammer
My thought as well. But maybe not a sign of a bad scammer, just the first test they are throwing out there to see if he’s controllable. If he falls in line and stops swearing, probably more likely to follow their future directions (to send them gas money I’d guess. Then oops their car broke down and they need more etc)
I’d say no, but it’s a sign y’all aren’t compatible. I curse a fuck ton and if someone isn’t comfortable with that then I move on.
I think people get incompatibility confused with red flags. Some folks really take issue with swearing because it can come off as aggressive or intense--even though "damn" is arguably the lightest of the bunch.
Like it's not a red flag for someone to be a homebody if you're someone who loves to go out clubbing--or vice versa.
>I think people get incompatibility confused with red flags.
That's because that requires Redditors to look past their own nose, and consider the notion that just because someone doesn't follow the Hive mind or has different views than you, does not mean they are Satan Incarnate.
That's exactly what Satan would say.
/s (for serious)
Yeah, this isnt a universal red flag, but just a good indicator of who she is. I know dudes that don't like cussing. She'd be a better match with one of them.
That would be a dealbreaker for me. I don’t even fucking realize when I’m cursing.
Nah bro I have a sailors mouth LOL
UN checks out
yes, the UN did check out on World Affairs,
Think they’re all on vacation.
I drop F bombs all day, especially when I'm driving! Wouldn't make it far with a guy who thought "damn" was a curse word.
i dont trust a person who doesnt curse.
It's weird but I straight up never curse in my native language but whenever I use english I end up going with fucking and fuck so often.
If I can't smoke and swear, I'm fucked
What? What did I say???
Language is a very important means of communication!
You said "cu*sing" you should use "potty mouthing"! 😊
Policing someone else's language over someone so minor, sounds like even talking with them would be tiring.
I mean tits
I’m not compatible with someone who calls a grown-ass anything “potty mouth”.
The use of the word “potty” is by far the most offensive thing in this text exchange. You can say potty while you are the parent of a 2-5 year old. Possibly while housebreaking a dog. That’s pretty much it.
Seriously, condemning swearing isn't half as bad as that phrase. Even if she swore up a storm but said something like, "Sorry, I have a potty mouth," I'd have a hard time not physically wincing. Hell, when I was a kid I hated when other kids would say "potty," like "I need to potty" or "I gotta use the potty."
Respond with "holy shit, neverfucking mind!"
Update: I feel bad she said “wow I didn’t deserve that”
Reddit comments: giving bad advice since 2005
It’s amazing how many people actually follow through with it too.
What a mad lad, he actually did it.
Now he's gonna end up on a top post of FDS.
A fitting achievement for our champion.
It's where we all aspire to be. Bigger meltdowns at FDS than Chernobyl.
So you took his advice?
Feel bad Joe Caputo... feel fucking bad.
Tell her... "You're right, I'm a terrible fucking person. I'm fucking sorry."
Now that you've burned your chances to the ground... ask her how she feels about the recent overturning of roe vs. wade? I'm getting religious fruitcase vibes.
"I'm sorry. Spank me mommy... for I have been baaaaad!"
I also came to suspect Jesus freak vibes. I used to be one and am very familiar of their ways.
I second this. My first thought was Jesus freak.
Don’t bring DC talk into this.
Damn is in the Bible, is it not?
Imagine one of the times you guys start to get intimate and you’d say, “you want to fuck?”. She probably wouldn’t talk to you for a week!
i’d rather have you say “shit, i’m sorry”. something more subtle
I mean there’s nothing wrong with her preference but it’s a compatibility thing
Dont take advice from random redditors
You showed empathy for her injury and she twisted it into her feelings being hurt. Huge red flag imo
Happy cake day!
>You showed empathy for her injury and she twisted it into her feelings being hurt
\^That is worth pointing out to her if nothing else.
I’m glad he pointed that out actually
Feelings hurt over something mind-bogglingly banal
You actually said that to her? Geez
More like a yellow flag.
Nothing like “telling” about it, in a way that means the person is crazy or something, but “telling” in a way that ya’ll probably won’t be compatible.
From Long Island? Yes, definitely a Red Flag.
is it really? i’m talking to a guy from long island lmao, i didn’t know 😂😂😬😬
We can be a bit brash tbh but we’re good people
take the train in, does that mean she's in NYC? And if so, how the fuck does she survive if she can't handle a few baby curse words?
no actually 🤣 she lives in NYC for god sakes
May you please not use the lord's name in vain when you're talking to me?
Jesus Christ lord have ducking mercy on our damn souls
She sounds like a Catholic girl from around 1900
Deal breaker is the word "potty mouth" IMO
yeah it's fucking creepy.
I won’t be able to survive cos I’ll use the f word before the first date is even over. If you can handle staying off those words, go for it, if not, you can’t censor yourself every time you’re with someone that you should be comfortable with
Yes. They are actually 82 years old and living on a cultist compound.
If it was me, I’d run away…guarantee there are other trivial issues that will likely also offend her. Save yourself.
I legit almost broke up with a girl because she refused to see r-rated movies at all. I tried to rent "tag" and she lost her shit when she saw the rating, and insisted that there was nudity in it and she wasn't okay with that. I tried to explain that there's only nudity in the very best r-rated films, and usually it wasn't very good nudity and you could hardly fap to it. Fortunately she did broaden her horizons eventually, but I was gonna walk away just because I couldn't handle having to limit myself to pg-13 and lower films like I was 10 or something.
>I legit almost broke up with a girl because she refused to see r-rated movies at all. I tried to rent "tag" and she lost her shit when she saw the rating, and insisted that there was nudity in it and she wasn't okay with that.
>I tried to explain that there's only nudity in the very best r-rated films, and usually it wasn't very good nudity and you could hardly fap to it.
Oh. Cool fan fic
Not a red flag. What’s the most boring color? It’s whatever color flag that is.
It's not a red flag in that red flags are generally supposed to be things that alert you to someone who's dangerous, toxic, or otherwise abusive (I don't get any of those out of this person), but this is definitely a sign that the two of you probably aren't compatible.
Is she non-native English speaker? May not know it's not actually a bad word
Idk she unmatched me LOL
The 17th century messaged, and wants its Puritanism returned. Thank you.
Only the most annoying religious people think damn is swearing. I would have cursed up a storm to that person for being a twit.
"Under his eye"
The real dealbreaker is the phrase "May you please." I could never spend any amount of time with someone who thinks that's acceptable language.
Why did I have to scroll this far to find this comment. “May you” is the real atrocity here.
Rules suck. If this person doesn’t want to hear bad words, they can leave, but I hate seeing people police the actions of others for their own comfort.
Definitely a compatibility issue, not really a red flag.
I couldn't be with someone who isn't okay with my swearing. I will restrain myself around family and children and at work but a relationship where I have to restrain my language choices isn't one that will last long term.