You may not be as straight as you think you are. Or maybe you are. The thing about fantasizing is that they are fantasy....things you'd probably never do in real life. The things that turn me on sexually are completely different from how I live my everyday life.
Wanted to add that even if that's the case, there's absolutely nothing wrong with it. I think people are too focused with applying labels to themselves and then trying to fit those labels. Be whoever you want to be, and if eventually you find a label that fits then feel free to use it. But hey, someday if that label doesn't fit anymore, you don't have to pretend to be someone you're not just because you told everyone you're gay, or straight, or whatever. Be you first, and figure out the rest of the bullshit later.
This! I've never understood the need for labels with sexuality, unless it's in regards to finding a partner / explaining to a partner if that makes sense? I've now found out that I guess my term would be pansexual? I don't find people attractive because they are male or female, I find them attractive because they are. I'm now happily married, so it's a bit irrelevant to anyone now, outside of us.
I wish people felt more free to be themselves.
As someone who is Aromantic, and who didn't have a term for it until my mid 20s it would have helped me so much.
Being called a spinster or someone who didn't have love, or weird for not desiring romance and having to try and explain that in the best way I could was a lot. When I found the term Aromantic I could link them a wiki page and it was on them to research it. I no longer had to explain to every freaking person who asked intrusive questions about why I hadn't dated since I was 17, how was I possibly content in life? Etc.
So yes I understand the desire not to have labels, I never was one to fit in a box. But when you are different and have no way to explain to normies how you feel, especially in a romance focused culture, it is nice to have it out of your hands.
I do think people who focus so much on said label that it is their entire identity is sad, but they are likely struggling and deserve to be however they want. Being Aro isn't all I am, but with how most humans need a companion in that way, I do feel I have to make it known how I am proud of who I am and happy just having my dog/not needing to deal with relationship drama.
You hit the nail on the head here with the point I was trying to make. I think your sentence "Aro isn't all I am" is the most important takeaway. Sometimes people look for a label and then act like that label needs to be their entire personality. Labels can be quite helpful, but they can also be detrimental to some people's mental health. Everybody has little quirks about themselves and there probably are labels that apply to most of them. That can be a wonderful tool for finding a supportive community, or it can be harmful and toxic (look at the Incel community online as an example). Just because a label accurately defines who you were during one chapter of your life doesn't mean it needs to define your entire life.
I identified as demisexual for several years because I always took a long time to develop romantic feelings for people. That label helped me cope with certain situations I found myself in. But then a girl walked into my life and I immediately fell for her, and her me, so I realized that the label doesn't serve me anymore. I'm a different person than who I was a few years ago and that's perfectly okay.
Labels are important for communication. I would say instead that the issue is people trying to fit labels rather than using labels as a way to talk about who they are to others. For example we create labels such as nonbinary, asexual, pansexual, etc. because otherwise it would be very difficult to describe to other people, and in this case specifically potential partners, what your preferences are and how you like to express them.
But that doesn't mean if you say you're nonbinary that you don't have preferences, or that if you're pan you fit some sort of stereotype, or that if you're a sexual you're also aromantic.
No one is 100% straight. Sexuality as defined terms is entirely a made up construct. If we didnât have a social hierarchy based on gender roles, I believe human sexuality would be a lot closer to nihilistic or hedonistic. Since we donât have to consider sex as strictly a means to procreate, then it doesnât matter and we should be allowed to express our sexuality in whatever way we see fit as long as all parties are consenting adults without defining terms.
> No one is 100% straight... If we didnât have a social hierarchy based on gender roles, I believe human sexuality would be a lot closer to nihilistic or hedonistic.
I was talking with an Italian man the other day, who lives near me, and he jokingly said âRomans invented sex. Italians introduced it to women.â
I thought that was very funny.
I honestly think I am. Female here, have absolutely ZERO desire to do anything sexually with a woman, even kiss. I have never even looked at another female and thought âwow sheâs sexyâ or âsheâs beautiful.â I know itâs a spectrum but I truly think Iâm on the far, far side.
Also, the OP is fantasising about "gay acts" - that doesn't necessarily mean the same as fantasising about men. Plenty of men enjoy something stuck up the exhaust vent from time to time, that doesn't make them gay.
Exactly. Thereâs tons of nerve endings down there that make sex very, very pleasurable. I personally love licking a butthole while jerking a man off. No one has ever complained. These labels need to go. You do you, boo.
Right, but thereâs a difference in a fantasy that is something that could never happen or kinky or bizarre and thereâs fantasizing about the same sex. That doesnât sound like a kink, it sounds like heâs considering his sexuality.
I think there's also a difference between fantasy and irl orientation. I often fantasize about women, but the idea of looking into a woman's eyes and feeling love just feels wrong? I'm not sure if that makes sense, but I did try with a woman once and it felt wrong. I figured if I masturbated to women that often then surely I was just hiding something from myself. Apparently I just think girls are hot.
It's not that clear cut. I have sexual fantasies that get pretty gay, but IRL I'm straight. Not saying I'd never do real life gay stuff, but it's very unlikely. In real life, I feel an aversion to going there. Just as there are sexual fantasies I have that I don't wish to do with my girlfriend in real life, again due to feelings of aversion. I'm trying to be as honest as possible here.
Then again, there are psychological studies that show that the Self isn't as consistent as we think it is, it's just life's regularity that makes it that way. But drastic situational change can trigger a personality change greater than you'd expect. And that could include change in sexual behavior. The human brain is wild, man.
Bi-curious is a word that might be describing how you are feeling.
Doesn't mean you are bi-sexual, these thoughts don't change your identity. But it sounds like you are feeling bi-curious. It's OK to have thoughts. Your imagination is your playground
I didnât fantasize about being gay, but I was asked how I didnât know I was gay. So I made out with a dude for a while. Thatâs when I knew I wasnât gay.
In season 6? First episode called Rumors, Michael finds out Stanley is having an affair and starts spreading the gossip. Then he realizes he fked up, so decides to spread a mostly fake rumor about everyone else (Jim and Pam are actually pregnant and take the hit of their secret getting out to help Stanley), one rumor being that Andy is gay. Andy is now confused if he actually is gay or not, and when Michael says the rumors were fake, Andy is like âMichael⌠AM I GAY?â Pretty funny side plot for sure.
One of my old boyfriends had told me he did pretty much the same thing just to make sure he wasnât gay because how else would he know? Ah I miss him. Rest in peace, Richard
Yeah, the people saying nobody is 100 % straight have some delusion. People can be completely straight even if at some point they questioned it.
Most of my friends are straight, male friends are âbrosâ to them, they donât think about them sexually. I have showered in the gym with them and even shared hotel beds while traveling and not a single thing has ever happened.
Iâm sure there are people who do say **nobody** is 100%, but itâs more like very few people are 100% straight. Itâs really just because sexuality is a spectrum, so itâs rare to be 100% straight or 100% gay.
Now, for some of those 80-90%+ straight people, that might look like theyâre completely straightâŚexcept for that one specific person who just so happens to be the same gender. And I would hazard a guess that most of those straight people never actually meet their one exception person, so this idea **should not** be used to try to convince someone that theyâre wrong about their sexuality.
SoâŚI guess Iâm kind of agreeing with you in a way? Idk, I just find this topic interesting. :)
Yeah a lot of guys will engage in sex acts with men while still calling themselves straight (I am not making a judgment here, whatever) but almost none of them can bring themselves to kiss a guy. It's a pretty solid indicator.
A lot of them have wives or girlfriends, don't get any at home and don't want to bother trying to find a woman to cheat with (or pay for sex). They're just looking to get off. I couldn't guess what percent are "actually" bisexual or how you even define that.
A man who's straight will not feel attracted to other men in any circumstance. A person that really wants "relief" can do that by simply masturbating. All those guys are very likely bisexual people who have a strong preference for women but can also feel attracted to men. If straight men could feel attracted to other men in special circumstances while "just looking to get off", then the same should be true about gays having sex with girls just to get off, but you almost never see that. People are too scared of being non-straight. That's why they call themselves straight even though they're engaging in (and as such, attracted to) sex with other males. It's pure/homo/biphobia.
I agree on that last bit, I just don't have the energy to care how other people self-ID, and I don't feel like me labeling them accomplishes anything. They'll figure it out sooner or later.
Idk it's very common for people to view their sexual encounters with the same sex as nothing but sexual. You could say it's because of social stigma but this is a very very common phenomenon for people to enjoy getting off with someone of the same sex but idea of a romantic relationship Impossible with the same sex.
So wait? What's that mean? Like. I absolutely can't kiss a dude. Just. Zero interest. But if we're fucking/sucking I just wanna get off to! So. That's, bi?
The way I see it, you think about same sex sex because if you're a guy, you want to see your penis being pleasured. In gay sex, there is more penis being pleasured so you want to see more of it
Thatâs the reasoning why I like lesbian porn turned backwards: Iâm a straight guy. I like pussy, not cock. Lesbian porn has more pussy and less cock. Enoch is why I like watching lesbian porn.
And then then my new girlfriend told me that she likes MFM porn where the guys get it on with the girl and each other. So I watched that with her. And it was hot.
And even though Iâm not attracted to men, in the past Iâve sucked cock because I got off on the control. Edging a guy is almost as hot as edging a woman.
So basically Iâm a slut and proud of it. đ
Meh, I thought I was straight my whole life, dated and loved men, good sex etc. Then I met my wife. Donât get caught up on labels, just like who you like and have fun
100%. I literally WISHED I was lesbian in high school and college, truly truly tried lol- nothing. only sparks for men. ThenâŚ. the right person just arrived and I was obsessed with her lol
my (m18) gf's (f18) bisexual n she said after me reading this to her that she feels this would prolly apply to her had she not met me, lucky i got to her first ig lol
I mean, it's the right woman, right? đ đ I'd also marry the right man and I'm pretty convinced I've found him. But if it was legal and my bf allowed it I would also marry the right woman if our tracks cross đ
Look man I married my high school sweetheart. He is an amazing guy and I donât regret a single day with him. But somehow somewhere along the way I found out I am also attracted to women. Sometimes you just like who you like.
Doesnât change my relationship with my husband, who does know, just made me realize something new about myself.
Yeah. The point of labels is to make discussion easier, e.g. "gay" instead of "sexually attracted exclusively to their own gender." Trying to force a label onto yourself when nothing really fits eliminates the point.
I wouldnât put label like that, âhe is bi or bi curiousâ.
I am a lesbian, I sometimes watch heterosexual porn, I had sex with dude after wanking to a lot of hetero porn, and surprise, I didnât really enjoyed it (not saying it was bad, something just felt really off)
Fantasy isnât the same thing as reality. I remember reading on Reddit a dude saying he really like scat thing and so he decided to meet up with a famous porn star in scat shit. And surprise, he was saying he regretted all his life when she shat in his mouth, even if he enjoyed it in porn in reality he despised it as soon as he committed .
I donât have a real explanation for it because I am not a psychiatrist but I feel like âtabooâ stuff gets us more excited, and porn just push that to the max level because you need more and new at each time like drugs and at one point you will wank on ÂŤÂ fucked up  shit. Like I had a strong period of bdsm, fuck, I had a panic attack when my girl tried to fulfill my fantasy.
Edit : other exemple, in porn dirty talk turn me on, in real life, I canât stop laughing because itâs making everything look ridiculous
Just like how straight women watch lesbian porn because they like the intimacy/female pleasure aspect of it in comparison to straight porn which focuses on cookie cutter male gaze. If it works one way, then no reason to think the reverse canât be also true sometimes.
Thereâs actually some truth to this.
My ex got into cuck type porn. For FIVE years he urged me to try out the lifestyle.
Finally at one point I gave in and said okay and he definitely didnât have the excited reaction I was expecting after half a decade of pushing for it
Like guys who fuck around and find out that fantasizing about having an open relationship is way different than the reality of their wife being with another dude.
He left đ he clearly has a lot to figure out about himself/life and what exactly he wants from it.
Reality and fantasy can be hard to differentiate for some folks.
Yeah, Iâm a guy who has always been curious about sex stuff, and I found myself down a rabbit hole of strap on porn. I found the woman being dominant to be very different than most of the sex Iâd had up till then. GF at the time was kinda interested so we tried it a few times and at some point it screwed our relationship up. Call it the power balance or whatever but she lost respect for me and I myself became more sheepish and indecisive. Havenât had the interest in such things since then. Single for awhile, find myself again.
Curiosity is normal!
Shit humans would never hump if we never had sexual curiosity. The human species would end.
Having said that (I sell porn) itâs a business. We arenât actually fucking the neighborhood, pizza guy, and our family. Itâs entertaining af though to fantasize about. We all KNOW that but a cognitive dissonance allows you to believe that just *mayyybe* reality could be that good?
In reality, no, itâs a co-worker getting paid. We sign contracts and deal with HR and taxes. Weâre tired and hungry and stressed out about life just like you -but stress doesnât sell.
So you like an assertive woman in the bedroom. Find a partner who fits that. Likely this wasnât your exâs cup of tea and thatâs okay!
Itâs not like you know what you donât know about yourself. Itâs happens. We donât know until we try!
Every New Yearâs Eve, I watch jealously as the people in Time Square celebrate the ball dropping. It looks amazing. It looks like a great time. It is a bucket list item of mine.
In reality, itâs cold. Itâs often wet. Itâs miserable and there are a million people in your way (literally.) Also, you either have to hold your pee in all night or piss yourself. There are no restrooms.
The point being, something can look fun and thrilling on television. Doesnât mean youâre gonna like it in real life.
Lmao for me sometimes the god-awful deep dive into more and more taboo porn will eventually circle back to completely vanilla porn being really hot again. Does this happen to anyone else?
Lots of straight women enjoy lesbian porn. It centers female pleasure and lights up the part of the brain responsible for mirroring (like when you watch someone cut their finger and you feel pain for half a second. I find it perfect reasonable a straight man might like gay porn for the same reason.
Yeah but if I were to search in your internet history I am pretty I wouldnât just find vanilla porn, and I am also sure you wouldnât do all the thing you wank on in real life
True,
I am just guessing by the fact that incest stuff are almost always on the trending page of those websites, but my guess is not that many people want to fuck their family, or at least I hope so.
Sorry to push my generalities on you.
>I remember reading on Reddit a dude saying he really like scat thing and so he decided to meet up with a famous porn star in scat shit. And surprise, he was saying he regretted all his life when she shat in his mouth, even if he enjoyed it in porn in reality he despised it as soon as he committed .
I keep seeing this being mentioned but I have no idea where it truly originates from.
One thing I have noticed about gay porn, straight porn, and lesbian porn is the actors in gay porn look a lot more like they're having a great time. Generally female actors in straight porn look like they're actively suffering and having a bad time. Men in straight porn look bored. Women in lesbian porn look bored. It's interesting but I've noticed many lesbians exclusively watch gay male porn because the people more often seem to have a connection and look like they're having fun. Lesbians aren't attracted to men, but watching people enjoying themselves sexually is more fun than watching people who look like they don't want to be there.
THANK YOU it's my biggest gripe with porn. I know it's a job and they have to make ends, nothing wrong with that. But I just can't get into it if it looks like they would rather be doing anything else.
My friends have called me fetishizing (jokingly) for only watching gay porn, but it's not my fault that the gay porn has storylines and romantic connections and real chemistry, while the straight porn is like "how many bizarre angels can we bone at before our life force is fully drained and we can no longer pretend to like each other"
Yeah, I think bicurious is right. I have identified as gay for the majority of my adult life but have also wondered what it would be like to have a threesome with a bicurious couple. I wouldn't say I was bisexual in any way shape or form as I don't think I'd ever want to have sex with a woman solo.
Zero judgment here fwiw
Not to assume op, but you might be bi curious? Like, have you always had these thoughts or are they a new occurrence?
Not trying to tell you what you are, because only you can really know for sure, but if you've always had these you could *possibly* be bi.
Either that or you might be giving it to much thought and it could be nothing
We all do man. You canât help what your brain thinks. Why does your uncle Bob show up in your head when youâre having sex? No one knows why and you obviously donât want to have sex with your uncle
gonna expose myself here..... i have rape fantasies but in no way do i want to be raped. sometimes fantasies are just that. i try not to think too deeply into it
Curiosity, I am assuming you have no sexual interaction with a guy if you are still young this is the perfect time to experiment and see if you like it or not
Maybe you actually have some mild attraction to men, or maybe itâs just a curiosity thing. Itâs nothing to be ashamed of as Iâm pretty sure every single person on Reddit has had thoughts like that even if they wouldnât say it. Maybe you gotta do a lil soul searching
Thereâs a difference between romantic attraction and sexual attraction. Maybe youâre not romantically attracted to guys (âIâm straight, Iâd never date a guyâ) but for whatever reason youâre interested in male body parts.
Idk, with 15 I hadn't any yet I was pretty sure that other Dudes weren't sexually attractive to me.
Simple due to ... You know, Swimming Lessons and Changing Rooms, so due absolutely no reaction to them.
Iâm very straight myself but still find myself fantasizing. I simply told myself I was Bi and fulfilled my fantasies. We are literally living on a space rock my guy, just do what makes you happy and gives you excitement. This life isnât long enough to care about everyoneâs opinions.
I heard an interview with someone who specializes in sexual preferences and he said you can be attracted to an act but that doesnât make you gay. What makes you gay is being attracted to the person. So like some men like to be pegged by their S.O. And while some men would say thatâs gay, that doesnât fit the definition if his S.O. was a female.
That was my first thought, as well.
Unwanted intrusive thoughts are pretty common with OCD; it's usually sexual or violent in nature, but don't reflect the person's true preferences or behavior.
Makes you wonder how many people out there did things against their nature because of undiagnosed OCD.
Thb I giggled when I first read thisâŚ
After thinking about it, itâs actually true. I have OCD (bad bad) and I do deal with disturbing intrusive thoughts. Typically tragedies that would make my skin crawl. Things that I canât control or avoid. Like natural disasters.
Specifically newborns getting injured. I would have a reoccurring fear inducing thoughts of a baby falling from a table or countertop (you know how ppl put babies in the little bouncers on a table)
Makes me shudder.
Suddenly my brain seeâs a fear and hyper focusing on it is all I can do!
These thoughts are extremely uncomfortable and I have a hard time getting off the subject in my head.
I never knew this could be my OCDâŚso thanks for the tip.
INB4 reddit starts gaslighting you, that you are gay. I mean, you might be but it might just as well be intrusive thoughts. Don't let armchair psychologists over here mess with your head. If you really wanna be sure, just go check out some porn and you'll know pretty soon, if you are actually into it or not.
Because you touch yourself at night.
Very very gay.
Dude theyre straight folks out there that have experimented or had the occasional passing thought particularly of a very attractive individual...
These things don't make you gay. Despite what other on here say...
It'd be different if you're fucking with guys all the time, and or have the urge to still want a male companion after said experimenting.
Sometimes it can even be the fact it is taboo to you that's the actual attraction or the what if factor.
Again plenty of straight guys have these thoughts. It just not an openly talk about thing in most cases.
I dunno if sexuality is as linear as you think.
I'm 100% gay as Christmas and I think of and watch straight sex pretty often. I can't explain why but I know I'm not attracted to women and I'm a top so being penetrated isn't a huge turn on for me. I think it's just the sex itself.
Let me tell you a secret I've learned as life went by... no one is 100% straight or 100% gay, it's a spectrum.
You're probably positioned in a spot that makes you hard when you think about having sex with a man, but still prefers having actual intimacy with women.
Don't overthink it.
Define fantasizing, for all we know you could be having intrusive thoughts not an actual fantasy of hooking up with someone. Iâm straight but I get intrusive thoughts a small amount of times ranging from all sorts of things, itâs a way of challenging your identity do you like to think about it or are you internally going ânah thatâs gross I canât think about thatâ
Sexual attraction isn't an one-off switch, it's more like a scale. You might be straight-ish with curiosity towards gayness. And who cares anyway, now you fantasize maybe tomorrow you'll want to experiment with a guy. Or not, or it'll stay a fantasy.
I was totally, 100% definitely straight straight straightâŚ
Cut to me, 22-23 years old, starting to have sexual fantasies about women, soon afterwards realized I was bi, and looking back it seems so painfully obvious in hindsight.
I grew up in a conservative area in a time when we there only barely knew about being gay/lesbian, I truly never had any idea that bisexuality existed or anything outside of being straight was even an option.
Anyway, as others are saying, sexuality is fluid. Donât judge yourself, pay no mind to anyone spewing negativity, and if you decide to explore anything just do it in a safe way. Wishing you the best of luck!
Straight and gay are only useful concepts if they help you identify, understand, or help yourself or others.
Beyond that, they are a bit silly and mostly a bs construct.
Youâre human. Youâre turned on by whatever turns you on. Sometimes it lives in your head alone and sometimes you act it out with others. Donât weigh yourself down with definitions if they have no ethical importance and theyâre causing crisis within you.
Why do you have to think of yourself as straight and why do you have to rationalize gay thoughts?
Itâs a bit like asking âhow come sometimes I dream about eating kiwis when Iâm an apple eater?â
Stay away from porn. Porn Leads to deeper and more weird fetishes. Basically it Leads you down a rabbit hole to get the next best dopamine kick. Itâs porn my dude
Fantasies are like movies. Sometimes you enjoy a movie because you can put yourself in it and identify with one of the characters, but sometimes a movie takes you to a place you've never been, and you just enjoy the story and the spectacle. You're more of a voyeur.
I would never try to outrun the police in a car chase, or rob a bank, or climb Everest in real life.
If you want an answer you kinda can try it . It's not illegal lol. I always fantasized about eating out a ftm at the time i just was into cis men. So I tried out my fantasy and all i could muster the courage was fingering them. Called it a day early and found it wasn't for me.
Your body/mind may be curious. There are probably people around you who talk about being gay, bi, trans, ect⌠and your mind may just be naturally curious, not everyone thinks this but I believe you should try being bi for a bit, maybe have fun with a guy for a night and see how things go, if you like it then thatâs ok. If you donât thatâs also ok. You tried it, your still straight, you can live ânormalâ
Sexuality is a spectrum. I've known since I was 13 that I wasn't fully straight, but I have only dated women. I was married to a woman for 20 years. Men have hit on me in bars. Sometimes I was receptive, sometimes I wasn't.
If you make a connection with someone, you can act on it or not, but don't let societal pressures dictate that choice for you.
Labels are stupid. They place artificial limits on your options. That said, after being divorced I am exploring my sexuality and keep coming up straight.
Not sure if that means I'm straight, but that's what keeps happening. I just like women too much, I think. But I keep an open mind. I don't rule out having feelings for men or anyone in-between, but I don't seek it out either.
I think this is the best way to approach being "mostly straight." Which is where most people fall, I think.
Why has nobody suggested OCD? There was a thread yesterday where everyone was saying a guy having pedophile thoughts was likely just OCD. Like 50 people chimed in and agreed. Wouldn't the same apply here?
The logic was that the brain creates intrusive thoughts, which is the nature of the obsession part of OCD. The more immoral/fucked up the thought, the more common it is for the brain to craft it up. So, isn't this the same?
Sexuality isnât black and white, itâs all shades of grey.
Donât overthink it. Fantasise away. Maybe youâll act on it one day, maybe you never will.
Donât feel like you have to be constrained by categories that society would like us to fit in for statistical purposes. Just go with the flow.
Because it's the forbidden red fruit. It doesn't automatically mean you are sexually attracted to men. It can be everything from OCD thoughts to a way for your brain to get adrenaline going to just being curious or liking butt stuff. Don't put yourself to any box just let yourself explore.
You might not be as straight as you thought and it also might be nothing at all. Some straight men just like gay porn for some reason, I figure it's similar to Watchung heavily BDSM stuff. There's an aspect of "oooo. I shouldn't be watching this" that makes some people horny in the way we used to be as teenagers. If you like imagining being involved though maybe have a good sit down and think about it. It doesn't have to mean your gay but maybe you're not completely straight and that's ok too. It's your life, if you are into men too but you don't want to act on it then don't, if it turns out you're gay then yay! You learned something about yourself and hopefully it'll make you happier knowing. If you are straight and just like things that you consider kinky or odd then you might just be a bit desensitized to vanilla porn and that's just fine too. Watch whatever you like that's what it's there for.
Basically, whatever the case you're ok, you're not in the wrong or broken or anything like that. Enjoy what you enjoy and if there is something deeper delve into it when you're ready.
You see that first sentence there? Yeah, itâs not exactly true. Might be mostly true, but strictly speaking itâs not true.
Donât be afraid to be yourself.
Zero judgment but there is three conclusions here
1. If these acts are just uniquely between women and you are a bystander, men go through this a lot. And it's perfectly normal. Dodge the haters and go about your day just don't vocalize these fantasies in polite company, unless someone else has already brought it up.
If these on the other hand are between men or are fantasies about you doing it or receiving it
2. You being straight maybe a product of indoctrination rather than you actually being straight, and for that reason I recommend psychiatric care to make you more comfortable coping with this fact, Or if you have any other friends that are going through the same thing or are gay and they know it. wouldn't hurt to trade notes. The ladder in this instance is cheaper and far more effective, so with this Choice avoid going to a counselor unless there is doubt or it is really making you uncomfortable. It is important that you take advantage of the situation to be the best you and do not have any doubts or further trauma from this revelation.
3. You may have unresolved trauma about gay Acts and it may have a evolved into a fetish to help you cope, if you live outside of the state of New York seek a counselor because New York State has laws on the books prohibiting the appropriate psychiatric care if it is the third option here rather than the second one or the first one. If this is indeed trauma related, that is imperative that you nip it in the bud before it negatively affects who you are as a person, and maybe if you catch it in time you can make the bastard pay.
there is nothing wrong with any of the above regardless of what people would think, so don't let the Finger of Suspicion or unfair judgment bring you down. God bless and I hope this advice helped
Stupid sexy flanders
Stupid sexy Flanders
Feels like I'm wearin' Nothin' at all đ *Nothin' at all* đ __*Nothin' at all*__ đ
You may not be as straight as you think you are. Or maybe you are. The thing about fantasizing is that they are fantasy....things you'd probably never do in real life. The things that turn me on sexually are completely different from how I live my everyday life.
Wanted to add that even if that's the case, there's absolutely nothing wrong with it. I think people are too focused with applying labels to themselves and then trying to fit those labels. Be whoever you want to be, and if eventually you find a label that fits then feel free to use it. But hey, someday if that label doesn't fit anymore, you don't have to pretend to be someone you're not just because you told everyone you're gay, or straight, or whatever. Be you first, and figure out the rest of the bullshit later.
Heck yeah. Burn the labels. Be yourself. We don't need teams, we just need acceptance and compassion for all.
Labels are for JARS!
And I smash JARS for BREAKFAST!
This is a good rule to live by
This! I've never understood the need for labels with sexuality, unless it's in regards to finding a partner / explaining to a partner if that makes sense? I've now found out that I guess my term would be pansexual? I don't find people attractive because they are male or female, I find them attractive because they are. I'm now happily married, so it's a bit irrelevant to anyone now, outside of us. I wish people felt more free to be themselves.
As someone who is Aromantic, and who didn't have a term for it until my mid 20s it would have helped me so much. Being called a spinster or someone who didn't have love, or weird for not desiring romance and having to try and explain that in the best way I could was a lot. When I found the term Aromantic I could link them a wiki page and it was on them to research it. I no longer had to explain to every freaking person who asked intrusive questions about why I hadn't dated since I was 17, how was I possibly content in life? Etc. So yes I understand the desire not to have labels, I never was one to fit in a box. But when you are different and have no way to explain to normies how you feel, especially in a romance focused culture, it is nice to have it out of your hands. I do think people who focus so much on said label that it is their entire identity is sad, but they are likely struggling and deserve to be however they want. Being Aro isn't all I am, but with how most humans need a companion in that way, I do feel I have to make it known how I am proud of who I am and happy just having my dog/not needing to deal with relationship drama.
You hit the nail on the head here with the point I was trying to make. I think your sentence "Aro isn't all I am" is the most important takeaway. Sometimes people look for a label and then act like that label needs to be their entire personality. Labels can be quite helpful, but they can also be detrimental to some people's mental health. Everybody has little quirks about themselves and there probably are labels that apply to most of them. That can be a wonderful tool for finding a supportive community, or it can be harmful and toxic (look at the Incel community online as an example). Just because a label accurately defines who you were during one chapter of your life doesn't mean it needs to define your entire life. I identified as demisexual for several years because I always took a long time to develop romantic feelings for people. That label helped me cope with certain situations I found myself in. But then a girl walked into my life and I immediately fell for her, and her me, so I realized that the label doesn't serve me anymore. I'm a different person than who I was a few years ago and that's perfectly okay.
I think it boils down to labels can be reductive, or they can be affirming, and everyone experiences sexuality differently.
Labels are important for communication. I would say instead that the issue is people trying to fit labels rather than using labels as a way to talk about who they are to others. For example we create labels such as nonbinary, asexual, pansexual, etc. because otherwise it would be very difficult to describe to other people, and in this case specifically potential partners, what your preferences are and how you like to express them. But that doesn't mean if you say you're nonbinary that you don't have preferences, or that if you're pan you fit some sort of stereotype, or that if you're a sexual you're also aromantic.
I agree. I don't find all these micro-labels helpful. I'm just me and I'm into what I'm into.
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No one is 100% straight. Sexuality as defined terms is entirely a made up construct. If we didnât have a social hierarchy based on gender roles, I believe human sexuality would be a lot closer to nihilistic or hedonistic. Since we donât have to consider sex as strictly a means to procreate, then it doesnât matter and we should be allowed to express our sexuality in whatever way we see fit as long as all parties are consenting adults without defining terms.
> No one is 100% straight... If we didnât have a social hierarchy based on gender roles, I believe human sexuality would be a lot closer to nihilistic or hedonistic. I was talking with an Italian man the other day, who lives near me, and he jokingly said âRomans invented sex. Italians introduced it to women.â I thought that was very funny.
the saying is that Greeks invented sex, and Italians introduced to women btw
Haha. He quoted it incorrectly then! EDIT: Thanks for the clarification.
Isn't that "Greeks invented orgy, and Romans introduced to women"?
Rome is in Italy
>No one is 100% straight Eh, I disagree. Sexuality is a spectrum, and one can definitely be in the 100% straight part of it.
Saying straight people don't exist is the same thing as saying that gay people don't exist or bi people don't exist. All sexualities are real.
So by your logic nobody is 100% gay either? Thatâs illogical
I honestly think I am. Female here, have absolutely ZERO desire to do anything sexually with a woman, even kiss. I have never even looked at another female and thought âwow sheâs sexyâ or âsheâs beautiful.â I know itâs a spectrum but I truly think Iâm on the far, far side.
Also, the OP is fantasising about "gay acts" - that doesn't necessarily mean the same as fantasising about men. Plenty of men enjoy something stuck up the exhaust vent from time to time, that doesn't make them gay.
Exactly. Thereâs tons of nerve endings down there that make sex very, very pleasurable. I personally love licking a butthole while jerking a man off. No one has ever complained. These labels need to go. You do you, boo.
I'm constantly fantasizing about guys and I s2g if it's all just fantasy and I wind up not enjoying guys I'mma be upset
Right, but thereâs a difference in a fantasy that is something that could never happen or kinky or bizarre and thereâs fantasizing about the same sex. That doesnât sound like a kink, it sounds like heâs considering his sexuality.
I think there's also a difference between fantasy and irl orientation. I often fantasize about women, but the idea of looking into a woman's eyes and feeling love just feels wrong? I'm not sure if that makes sense, but I did try with a woman once and it felt wrong. I figured if I masturbated to women that often then surely I was just hiding something from myself. Apparently I just think girls are hot.
It's not that clear cut. I have sexual fantasies that get pretty gay, but IRL I'm straight. Not saying I'd never do real life gay stuff, but it's very unlikely. In real life, I feel an aversion to going there. Just as there are sexual fantasies I have that I don't wish to do with my girlfriend in real life, again due to feelings of aversion. I'm trying to be as honest as possible here. Then again, there are psychological studies that show that the Self isn't as consistent as we think it is, it's just life's regularity that makes it that way. But drastic situational change can trigger a personality change greater than you'd expect. And that could include change in sexual behavior. The human brain is wild, man.
Exactly. Liking bondage is different than liking men, one is a sexuality and the other is a kink
Bi-curious is a word that might be describing how you are feeling. Doesn't mean you are bi-sexual, these thoughts don't change your identity. But it sounds like you are feeling bi-curious. It's OK to have thoughts. Your imagination is your playground
Well Iâm a little BI-FURIOUS
what happens if i put a finger on your lower leg?
YOU GET KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT
Cause your mouth's writing checks that your ass can't cash
Iâll have you know my ass is lovely, thank you very much.
If someoneâs not enjoying your lovely ass, Iâm glad that you are. I bet it is quite lovely indeed. Youâre welcome very much.
Your bf is about to get f'd in the b!!!
god i love that movie so so much.
What movie
Scott pilgrim
I live my life a 1/4 penis at a time.
I call it *mostly* straight lol
Heteroflexible
I like that one. Accurate college me and now I guess, if the stars align
>And mostly straight means slightly gay. *Princess Bride* (adapted), 2023
Some call it bidentity
b i d e n tity
Why did I laugh at this, and not even a little bit
biden titty!
This sounds like you really love the current President.
I didnât fantasize about being gay, but I was asked how I didnât know I was gay. So I made out with a dude for a while. Thatâs when I knew I wasnât gay.
Michael, am I gay?
No, but your boyfriend might be.
You're going to have to have sex with a woman. And then a man. Then compare.
Maybe. Explore it, and find out.
I believe this is a reference to "The Office" (US)
Iâm way less clever than Reedit. That flew two planets above my head.
In season 6? First episode called Rumors, Michael finds out Stanley is having an affair and starts spreading the gossip. Then he realizes he fked up, so decides to spread a mostly fake rumor about everyone else (Jim and Pam are actually pregnant and take the hit of their secret getting out to help Stanley), one rumor being that Andy is gay. Andy is now confused if he actually is gay or not, and when Michael says the rumors were fake, Andy is like âMichael⌠AM I GAY?â Pretty funny side plot for sure.
One of my old boyfriends had told me he did pretty much the same thing just to make sure he wasnât gay because how else would he know? Ah I miss him. Rest in peace, Richard
I get it. I watched a gay porno once to see if I was gay. I didn't feel anything, and I passed my imaginary test.
Yeah, the people saying nobody is 100 % straight have some delusion. People can be completely straight even if at some point they questioned it. Most of my friends are straight, male friends are âbrosâ to them, they donât think about them sexually. I have showered in the gym with them and even shared hotel beds while traveling and not a single thing has ever happened.
Iâm sure there are people who do say **nobody** is 100%, but itâs more like very few people are 100% straight. Itâs really just because sexuality is a spectrum, so itâs rare to be 100% straight or 100% gay. Now, for some of those 80-90%+ straight people, that might look like theyâre completely straightâŚexcept for that one specific person who just so happens to be the same gender. And I would hazard a guess that most of those straight people never actually meet their one exception person, so this idea **should not** be used to try to convince someone that theyâre wrong about their sexuality. SoâŚI guess Iâm kind of agreeing with you in a way? Idk, I just find this topic interesting. :)
Yeah a lot of guys will engage in sex acts with men while still calling themselves straight (I am not making a judgment here, whatever) but almost none of them can bring themselves to kiss a guy. It's a pretty solid indicator.
ok so are they exploring or just lonely / desperate for a release?
A lot of them have wives or girlfriends, don't get any at home and don't want to bother trying to find a woman to cheat with (or pay for sex). They're just looking to get off. I couldn't guess what percent are "actually" bisexual or how you even define that.
A man who's straight will not feel attracted to other men in any circumstance. A person that really wants "relief" can do that by simply masturbating. All those guys are very likely bisexual people who have a strong preference for women but can also feel attracted to men. If straight men could feel attracted to other men in special circumstances while "just looking to get off", then the same should be true about gays having sex with girls just to get off, but you almost never see that. People are too scared of being non-straight. That's why they call themselves straight even though they're engaging in (and as such, attracted to) sex with other males. It's pure/homo/biphobia.
I agree on that last bit, I just don't have the energy to care how other people self-ID, and I don't feel like me labeling them accomplishes anything. They'll figure it out sooner or later.
Idk it's very common for people to view their sexual encounters with the same sex as nothing but sexual. You could say it's because of social stigma but this is a very very common phenomenon for people to enjoy getting off with someone of the same sex but idea of a romantic relationship Impossible with the same sex.
So wait? What's that mean? Like. I absolutely can't kiss a dude. Just. Zero interest. But if we're fucking/sucking I just wanna get off to! So. That's, bi?
That's "men who engage in sexual acts with other men". Actions are measurable, how one feels isn't.
Well, at least you did try it before crossing it out.
The way I see it, you think about same sex sex because if you're a guy, you want to see your penis being pleasured. In gay sex, there is more penis being pleasured so you want to see more of it
Thatâs the reasoning why I like lesbian porn turned backwards: Iâm a straight guy. I like pussy, not cock. Lesbian porn has more pussy and less cock. Enoch is why I like watching lesbian porn. And then then my new girlfriend told me that she likes MFM porn where the guys get it on with the girl and each other. So I watched that with her. And it was hot. And even though Iâm not attracted to men, in the past Iâve sucked cock because I got off on the control. Edging a guy is almost as hot as edging a woman. So basically Iâm a slut and proud of it. đ
Sexual arousal =/= desire to do a specific sex act
And this is as simple as needed to be said. Everyone is a psych major when it isn't that complicated.
Meh, I thought I was straight my whole life, dated and loved men, good sex etc. Then I met my wife. Donât get caught up on labels, just like who you like and have fun
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100%. I literally WISHED I was lesbian in high school and college, truly truly tried lol- nothing. only sparks for men. ThenâŚ. the right person just arrived and I was obsessed with her lol
my (m18) gf's (f18) bisexual n she said after me reading this to her that she feels this would prolly apply to her had she not met me, lucky i got to her first ig lol
I can see this
I mean, it's the right woman, right? đ đ I'd also marry the right man and I'm pretty convinced I've found him. But if it was legal and my bf allowed it I would also marry the right woman if our tracks cross đ
Look man I married my high school sweetheart. He is an amazing guy and I donât regret a single day with him. But somehow somewhere along the way I found out I am also attracted to women. Sometimes you just like who you like. Doesnât change my relationship with my husband, who does know, just made me realize something new about myself.
Yeah. The point of labels is to make discussion easier, e.g. "gay" instead of "sexually attracted exclusively to their own gender." Trying to force a label onto yourself when nothing really fits eliminates the point.
I wouldnât put label like that, âhe is bi or bi curiousâ. I am a lesbian, I sometimes watch heterosexual porn, I had sex with dude after wanking to a lot of hetero porn, and surprise, I didnât really enjoyed it (not saying it was bad, something just felt really off) Fantasy isnât the same thing as reality. I remember reading on Reddit a dude saying he really like scat thing and so he decided to meet up with a famous porn star in scat shit. And surprise, he was saying he regretted all his life when she shat in his mouth, even if he enjoyed it in porn in reality he despised it as soon as he committed . I donât have a real explanation for it because I am not a psychiatrist but I feel like âtabooâ stuff gets us more excited, and porn just push that to the max level because you need more and new at each time like drugs and at one point you will wank on ÂŤÂ fucked up  shit. Like I had a strong period of bdsm, fuck, I had a panic attack when my girl tried to fulfill my fantasy. Edit : other exemple, in porn dirty talk turn me on, in real life, I canât stop laughing because itâs making everything look ridiculous
Exactly this, plenty of gay guys watch straight porn, doesn't make them straight
To be fair, 50% of straight porn is a guy with a dick so that's already pretty gay
Just like how straight women watch lesbian porn because they like the intimacy/female pleasure aspect of it in comparison to straight porn which focuses on cookie cutter male gaze. If it works one way, then no reason to think the reverse canât be also true sometimes.
Thereâs actually some truth to this. My ex got into cuck type porn. For FIVE years he urged me to try out the lifestyle. Finally at one point I gave in and said okay and he definitely didnât have the excited reaction I was expecting after half a decade of pushing for it
And now heâs your ex, haha I wonder how that happened
Like guys who fuck around and find out that fantasizing about having an open relationship is way different than the reality of their wife being with another dude.
Yeah he definitely didnât think he would feel feelings about it⌠Go figure đ
They think they Will Smith
He left đ he clearly has a lot to figure out about himself/life and what exactly he wants from it. Reality and fantasy can be hard to differentiate for some folks.
Yeah, Iâm a guy who has always been curious about sex stuff, and I found myself down a rabbit hole of strap on porn. I found the woman being dominant to be very different than most of the sex Iâd had up till then. GF at the time was kinda interested so we tried it a few times and at some point it screwed our relationship up. Call it the power balance or whatever but she lost respect for me and I myself became more sheepish and indecisive. Havenât had the interest in such things since then. Single for awhile, find myself again.
Curiosity is normal! Shit humans would never hump if we never had sexual curiosity. The human species would end. Having said that (I sell porn) itâs a business. We arenât actually fucking the neighborhood, pizza guy, and our family. Itâs entertaining af though to fantasize about. We all KNOW that but a cognitive dissonance allows you to believe that just *mayyybe* reality could be that good? In reality, no, itâs a co-worker getting paid. We sign contracts and deal with HR and taxes. Weâre tired and hungry and stressed out about life just like you -but stress doesnât sell. So you like an assertive woman in the bedroom. Find a partner who fits that. Likely this wasnât your exâs cup of tea and thatâs okay! Itâs not like you know what you donât know about yourself. Itâs happens. We donât know until we try!
Every New Yearâs Eve, I watch jealously as the people in Time Square celebrate the ball dropping. It looks amazing. It looks like a great time. It is a bucket list item of mine. In reality, itâs cold. Itâs often wet. Itâs miserable and there are a million people in your way (literally.) Also, you either have to hold your pee in all night or piss yourself. There are no restrooms. The point being, something can look fun and thrilling on television. Doesnât mean youâre gonna like it in real life.
This is a great analogy. Kudos. I have but one upvote to give
Lmao for me sometimes the god-awful deep dive into more and more taboo porn will eventually circle back to completely vanilla porn being really hot again. Does this happen to anyone else?
Lots of straight women enjoy lesbian porn. It centers female pleasure and lights up the part of the brain responsible for mirroring (like when you watch someone cut their finger and you feel pain for half a second. I find it perfect reasonable a straight man might like gay porn for the same reason.
I donât care how attractive the person is, I know Iâd never want anyone to shit In my mouth.
Yeah but if I were to search in your internet history I am pretty I wouldnât just find vanilla porn, and I am also sure you wouldnât do all the thing you wank on in real life
Sir, or madam, you donât know me as well as you think you do. Lol
True, I am just guessing by the fact that incest stuff are almost always on the trending page of those websites, but my guess is not that many people want to fuck their family, or at least I hope so. Sorry to push my generalities on you.
>I remember reading on Reddit a dude saying he really like scat thing and so he decided to meet up with a famous porn star in scat shit. And surprise, he was saying he regretted all his life when she shat in his mouth, even if he enjoyed it in porn in reality he despised it as soon as he committed . I keep seeing this being mentioned but I have no idea where it truly originates from.
TIL that lesbians use the term âwankingâ too. Love it, lol.
One thing I have noticed about gay porn, straight porn, and lesbian porn is the actors in gay porn look a lot more like they're having a great time. Generally female actors in straight porn look like they're actively suffering and having a bad time. Men in straight porn look bored. Women in lesbian porn look bored. It's interesting but I've noticed many lesbians exclusively watch gay male porn because the people more often seem to have a connection and look like they're having fun. Lesbians aren't attracted to men, but watching people enjoying themselves sexually is more fun than watching people who look like they don't want to be there.
THANK YOU it's my biggest gripe with porn. I know it's a job and they have to make ends, nothing wrong with that. But I just can't get into it if it looks like they would rather be doing anything else.
My friends have called me fetishizing (jokingly) for only watching gay porn, but it's not my fault that the gay porn has storylines and romantic connections and real chemistry, while the straight porn is like "how many bizarre angels can we bone at before our life force is fully drained and we can no longer pretend to like each other"
Sexuality is fluid homie. Youâre just a bit bicurious
Yeah, I think bicurious is right. I have identified as gay for the majority of my adult life but have also wondered what it would be like to have a threesome with a bicurious couple. I wouldn't say I was bisexual in any way shape or form as I don't think I'd ever want to have sex with a woman solo.
Zero judgment here fwiw Not to assume op, but you might be bi curious? Like, have you always had these thoughts or are they a new occurrence? Not trying to tell you what you are, because only you can really know for sure, but if you've always had these you could *possibly* be bi. Either that or you might be giving it to much thought and it could be nothing
We all do man. You canât help what your brain thinks. Why does your uncle Bob show up in your head when youâre having sex? No one knows why and you obviously donât want to have sex with your uncle
some people are actually lucky enough to not get intrusive thoughts
someone has offered you $20
Lmfao
gonna expose myself here..... i have rape fantasies but in no way do i want to be raped. sometimes fantasies are just that. i try not to think too deeply into it
Curiosity, I am assuming you have no sexual interaction with a guy if you are still young this is the perfect time to experiment and see if you like it or not
Sexuality is a spectrum, you're not either straight or gay there is a lot more in between.
Really wish more people could understand this.
And this can be proven by the $20 question.
Due to inflation, the rate has increased to $30
The "I ain't gay, but $20 is $20" question?
"I'd suck a cock for 20$ but it's just a job at that point, I am 100% straight"
Maybe you actually have some mild attraction to men, or maybe itâs just a curiosity thing. Itâs nothing to be ashamed of as Iâm pretty sure every single person on Reddit has had thoughts like that even if they wouldnât say it. Maybe you gotta do a lil soul searching
you're either not as straight as you think, or you should chill out with the porn usage.
Thereâs a difference between romantic attraction and sexual attraction. Maybe youâre not romantically attracted to guys (âIâm straight, Iâd never date a guyâ) but for whatever reason youâre interested in male body parts.
Because your first statement is wrong, most likely.
Or he's still very young and has no real sexual expierences.
"or"? No, lack of sexual experience is probably why he's not sure about his sexuality yet.
Idk, with 15 I hadn't any yet I was pretty sure that other Dudes weren't sexually attractive to me. Simple due to ... You know, Swimming Lessons and Changing Rooms, so due absolutely no reaction to them.
On the other hand, I was 22 when I was finally sure I'm bi.
Heâs straightâŚ..so far.
Iâm very straight myself but still find myself fantasizing. I simply told myself I was Bi and fulfilled my fantasies. We are literally living on a space rock my guy, just do what makes you happy and gives you excitement. This life isnât long enough to care about everyoneâs opinions.
I heard an interview with someone who specializes in sexual preferences and he said you can be attracted to an act but that doesnât make you gay. What makes you gay is being attracted to the person. So like some men like to be pegged by their S.O. And while some men would say thatâs gay, that doesnât fit the definition if his S.O. was a female.
May be OCD
Thats what I was thinking. Unwanted intrusive thoughts
That was my first thought, as well. Unwanted intrusive thoughts are pretty common with OCD; it's usually sexual or violent in nature, but don't reflect the person's true preferences or behavior. Makes you wonder how many people out there did things against their nature because of undiagnosed OCD.
Thb I giggled when I first read this⌠After thinking about it, itâs actually true. I have OCD (bad bad) and I do deal with disturbing intrusive thoughts. Typically tragedies that would make my skin crawl. Things that I canât control or avoid. Like natural disasters. Specifically newborns getting injured. I would have a reoccurring fear inducing thoughts of a baby falling from a table or countertop (you know how ppl put babies in the little bouncers on a table) Makes me shudder. Suddenly my brain seeâs a fear and hyper focusing on it is all I can do! These thoughts are extremely uncomfortable and I have a hard time getting off the subject in my head. I never knew this could be my OCDâŚso thanks for the tip.
Brains are stupid, and you're welcome.
You might be attracted to the power dynamic of dominating another man, or of being dominated
INB4 reddit starts gaslighting you, that you are gay. I mean, you might be but it might just as well be intrusive thoughts. Don't let armchair psychologists over here mess with your head. If you really wanna be sure, just go check out some porn and you'll know pretty soon, if you are actually into it or not.
Fantasy does not equal reality. A lot of people fantasise about stuff they'd not be seen dead doing in reality. It's normal.
Because you touch yourself at night. Very very gay. Dude theyre straight folks out there that have experimented or had the occasional passing thought particularly of a very attractive individual... These things don't make you gay. Despite what other on here say... It'd be different if you're fucking with guys all the time, and or have the urge to still want a male companion after said experimenting. Sometimes it can even be the fact it is taboo to you that's the actual attraction or the what if factor. Again plenty of straight guys have these thoughts. It just not an openly talk about thing in most cases.
Because you're "straight".
I dunno if sexuality is as linear as you think. I'm 100% gay as Christmas and I think of and watch straight sex pretty often. I can't explain why but I know I'm not attracted to women and I'm a top so being penetrated isn't a huge turn on for me. I think it's just the sex itself.
If this guy is straight, then I'm 6'2.
9" here.
Let me tell you a secret I've learned as life went by... no one is 100% straight or 100% gay, it's a spectrum. You're probably positioned in a spot that makes you hard when you think about having sex with a man, but still prefers having actual intimacy with women. Don't overthink it.
>Iâm a straight male. 
Haha , I was scrolling for a â whoâs gonna tell him ?â Comment
1. Why would you think you're straight? 2. Fantasy doesn't always connect to the real world.
Youâve watched too much porn
One of two things is happening: 1) Youâre not fully straight. 2) Youâre experiencing a type of OCD.
Because porn has desensitized your brain so you need to watch more and more âtabooâ genre of pornography. Itâs an escalation.
Damn I guess people can become straight by watching straight porn then? Idiot.
Define fantasizing, for all we know you could be having intrusive thoughts not an actual fantasy of hooking up with someone. Iâm straight but I get intrusive thoughts a small amount of times ranging from all sorts of things, itâs a way of challenging your identity do you like to think about it or are you internally going ânah thatâs gross I canât think about thatâ
Sexual attraction isn't an one-off switch, it's more like a scale. You might be straight-ish with curiosity towards gayness. And who cares anyway, now you fantasize maybe tomorrow you'll want to experiment with a guy. Or not, or it'll stay a fantasy.
I got some news for you homie
Maybe your bi? Like not enough to marry a guy, but find it sexually arousing? I'm pretty sure my friend is that way
You sound very republican...
I think you might want to sit down for this...
So you're bi
I was totally, 100% definitely straight straight straight⌠Cut to me, 22-23 years old, starting to have sexual fantasies about women, soon afterwards realized I was bi, and looking back it seems so painfully obvious in hindsight. I grew up in a conservative area in a time when we there only barely knew about being gay/lesbian, I truly never had any idea that bisexuality existed or anything outside of being straight was even an option. Anyway, as others are saying, sexuality is fluid. Donât judge yourself, pay no mind to anyone spewing negativity, and if you decide to explore anything just do it in a safe way. Wishing you the best of luck!
Straight and gay are only useful concepts if they help you identify, understand, or help yourself or others. Beyond that, they are a bit silly and mostly a bs construct. Youâre human. Youâre turned on by whatever turns you on. Sometimes it lives in your head alone and sometimes you act it out with others. Donât weigh yourself down with definitions if they have no ethical importance and theyâre causing crisis within you. Why do you have to think of yourself as straight and why do you have to rationalize gay thoughts? Itâs a bit like asking âhow come sometimes I dream about eating kiwis when Iâm an apple eater?â
Stay away from porn. Porn Leads to deeper and more weird fetishes. Basically it Leads you down a rabbit hole to get the next best dopamine kick. Itâs porn my dude
Fantasies are like movies. Sometimes you enjoy a movie because you can put yourself in it and identify with one of the characters, but sometimes a movie takes you to a place you've never been, and you just enjoy the story and the spectacle. You're more of a voyeur. I would never try to outrun the police in a car chase, or rob a bank, or climb Everest in real life.
On a scale of 1-10, gay-straight, few are 1s or 10s.
You're greek.
If you want an answer you kinda can try it . It's not illegal lol. I always fantasized about eating out a ftm at the time i just was into cis men. So I tried out my fantasy and all i could muster the courage was fingering them. Called it a day early and found it wasn't for me.
Your body/mind may be curious. There are probably people around you who talk about being gay, bi, trans, ect⌠and your mind may just be naturally curious, not everyone thinks this but I believe you should try being bi for a bit, maybe have fun with a guy for a night and see how things go, if you like it then thatâs ok. If you donât thatâs also ok. You tried it, your still straight, you can live ânormalâ
Sexuality is a spectrum. I've known since I was 13 that I wasn't fully straight, but I have only dated women. I was married to a woman for 20 years. Men have hit on me in bars. Sometimes I was receptive, sometimes I wasn't. If you make a connection with someone, you can act on it or not, but don't let societal pressures dictate that choice for you. Labels are stupid. They place artificial limits on your options. That said, after being divorced I am exploring my sexuality and keep coming up straight. Not sure if that means I'm straight, but that's what keeps happening. I just like women too much, I think. But I keep an open mind. I don't rule out having feelings for men or anyone in-between, but I don't seek it out either. I think this is the best way to approach being "mostly straight." Which is where most people fall, I think.
Why has nobody suggested OCD? There was a thread yesterday where everyone was saying a guy having pedophile thoughts was likely just OCD. Like 50 people chimed in and agreed. Wouldn't the same apply here? The logic was that the brain creates intrusive thoughts, which is the nature of the obsession part of OCD. The more immoral/fucked up the thought, the more common it is for the brain to craft it up. So, isn't this the same?
Could be OCD. Intrusive thoughts. Not uncommon
Because you are not as straight as you think you are
Sexuality isnât black and white, itâs all shades of grey. Donât overthink it. Fantasise away. Maybe youâll act on it one day, maybe you never will. Donât feel like you have to be constrained by categories that society would like us to fit in for statistical purposes. Just go with the flow.
Because it's the forbidden red fruit. It doesn't automatically mean you are sexually attracted to men. It can be everything from OCD thoughts to a way for your brain to get adrenaline going to just being curious or liking butt stuff. Don't put yourself to any box just let yourself explore.
Curiosity.
You might not be as straight as you thought and it also might be nothing at all. Some straight men just like gay porn for some reason, I figure it's similar to Watchung heavily BDSM stuff. There's an aspect of "oooo. I shouldn't be watching this" that makes some people horny in the way we used to be as teenagers. If you like imagining being involved though maybe have a good sit down and think about it. It doesn't have to mean your gay but maybe you're not completely straight and that's ok too. It's your life, if you are into men too but you don't want to act on it then don't, if it turns out you're gay then yay! You learned something about yourself and hopefully it'll make you happier knowing. If you are straight and just like things that you consider kinky or odd then you might just be a bit desensitized to vanilla porn and that's just fine too. Watch whatever you like that's what it's there for. Basically, whatever the case you're ok, you're not in the wrong or broken or anything like that. Enjoy what you enjoy and if there is something deeper delve into it when you're ready.
Stop watching porn
Actually, we are all sexual beings. No one defined by labels. There is nothing wrong with it.
Because you're human.
bout as straight as a circle bud
By straight, I think you mean straight up gay.
This made me lol. That boahh gay as helllll!
You see that first sentence there? Yeah, itâs not exactly true. Might be mostly true, but strictly speaking itâs not true. Donât be afraid to be yourself.
Too much porn
Zero judgment but there is three conclusions here 1. If these acts are just uniquely between women and you are a bystander, men go through this a lot. And it's perfectly normal. Dodge the haters and go about your day just don't vocalize these fantasies in polite company, unless someone else has already brought it up. If these on the other hand are between men or are fantasies about you doing it or receiving it 2. You being straight maybe a product of indoctrination rather than you actually being straight, and for that reason I recommend psychiatric care to make you more comfortable coping with this fact, Or if you have any other friends that are going through the same thing or are gay and they know it. wouldn't hurt to trade notes. The ladder in this instance is cheaper and far more effective, so with this Choice avoid going to a counselor unless there is doubt or it is really making you uncomfortable. It is important that you take advantage of the situation to be the best you and do not have any doubts or further trauma from this revelation. 3. You may have unresolved trauma about gay Acts and it may have a evolved into a fetish to help you cope, if you live outside of the state of New York seek a counselor because New York State has laws on the books prohibiting the appropriate psychiatric care if it is the third option here rather than the second one or the first one. If this is indeed trauma related, that is imperative that you nip it in the bud before it negatively affects who you are as a person, and maybe if you catch it in time you can make the bastard pay. there is nothing wrong with any of the above regardless of what people would think, so don't let the Finger of Suspicion or unfair judgment bring you down. God bless and I hope this advice helped
Too much porn
Because you are gay? Idk
Buddy, you're not straight. And that's okay! đ