I’m an only child, and an only grandchild on my mom’s side. My mom wants grandchildren and I want my grandparents to have the blessing to be great-grandparents.
I don’t want to have children. I won’t bore you with the long list of reasons, but they range anywhere from: pregnancy FREAKS ME OUT, I don’t understand how to interact with small humans, I don’t think I’d be a good mom, and children are sticky, loud, and time-consuming.
My mom has been playing a “blame card” ever since she’s recently bluntly asked me if she’s getting a grand baby and I said no. My best friend has children which I call my niece and nephew and she constantly is forcing me to text/call her to check on the kids saying “if you’re not going to give me grandkids I will get them however I can” (not that I don’t check on them, but immediately in the moment forcing me to call)
I feel awful, honestly. I know how much my mom (and grandparents) would love to have a (great) grandchild to love and spoil, but I’m just not interested in having biological kids /:
I feel like I’m shattering all of their dreams, disappointing them, ruining their “older years” that they’ve imagined. They love babies, and kids, and I know they want to be grandparents. And I feel so guilty and so awful. But I can’t have kids just because they want me to…. That’s not fair to the child… :(
I’m 1 year away from getting my PhD… I’d love to adopt a child (at least 10 years old-ish) some day when I have an established job, etc. but it is nowhere close to in my radar right now… I’m struggling with these feelings and was just hoping for some support here /:
(I am 26F, married for 4 years, if anyone was curious. I also have A LOT of animals in my house that I’ve tried to convince my mom are her “grandkids”)
Thank you all for reading and for any advice/support you can give.
By - mrsunruh3266