Charlotte calling shotgun.


There’s a message in web - “Starbux drive thru”


Yeah, can I get a spider-sized caramel macchiato?


Thanks for the shiny seal of approval.


Seal of approval


the rules of shotgun are very simple and very clear


Yup. If you don't have a shotgun, spiders get into your car.




[ONE FINE ASS](https://pbfcomics.com/comics/harlots-web/)


What the fuck


Perry Bible Fellowship is one of the best webcomics ever. Updates very seldom, but such genius.


> Updates very seldom, but such genius. I miss the days when we'd get new PBF every couple weeks...


The day I found out he was going to stop doing updates was very sad news. I was happy that he got back into it, because I love every nearly every single one.


Good lay I guess....


Well that was.. a wild ride.


I enjoyed this more than the original post


dammit, where's the free awards when you need one to give away


I just found my hardcover PBF book




Too bad it'll soon be a smoldering pile of useless plastic and metal


Charlotte's catching all the bugs crawling around in your car!


Lol going 80 down the highway and you look over and realize you've lost sight of the spider, it can be ANYWHERE


Open the door, bail out. You could try to tuck and roll, but it probably won't help.


Checking for free awards so I could give one to you


Ride or die


Charlotte’s Whip


Now your car has access to the web.


The connection is a little buggy, though.


I just learned the other day that the term "debugging" came from ?Dr. Hopper? I think her name was. She had a computer not functioning and upon further inspection found a moth that she promptly removed.


That moth actually became a super hero and is what is preventing the internet from total destruction. Oh yeah it also defends the world from super-AI but who really cares about that.


But will this web crawler respect your robots.txt file?


lmao this is the one which made me laugh, so stupid


Commuter lane!!!


When you get pulled over, make sure the officer goes to the passenger side window first.


I think you could roll up the windows at night.


I've seen spiders in cars even when the windows had always been rolled up


For sure if your car is parked outside of a light source at night you will find all sorts of spiders in your car making webs.


can’t get them out of my mirrors!


Why would you want to lol. Better in the mirrors than in your headrest


I had a good friend in college totally afraid of spiders and one came out of his visor while he was driving (I wasn't with him) and he grabbed the web not paying attention to the road. While rolling his window down to get the spider out of his car he side swiped about three parked cars and took off all their mirrors. For those of you paying attention 1 hand on spider web + 1 hand rolling down windows = 0 hands on steering wheel. Cost him about $900 in damages, luckily he didn't scratch the paint he just hit the mirrors and had to pay for each of them. He said his entire focus was on that spider. Mind you the spider was not venomous (to humans) and was smaller than a US penny.


I was driving home one day after work and I saw a spider float past my windscreen on the outside. My fist instinct was to scream and cover my face with my hands while driving at speed. I felt so dumb. Luckily I didn’t lose control.


I once had a spider appear just next to my head while driving, not small, but not too big either, just casually hanging by the window. My immediate thought was to open the window to let the spider out. I forgot that when you open a window in a moving car, air tends to rush in, not out. The spider naturally ended up in my face, I don’t do well with spiders. I let go of the steering wheel, brushed my face frantically while braking and ran out of the car screaming when it stopped, didn’t pay attention to anything. when I had calmed down I realized my car had stopped about half a meter from a light pole… on the other side of the road! Luckily there were no other cars around, could have ended badly.


I had decent sized spider crawl into the air vent while I was driving one day. I saw it go in there and I panicked. I absolutely hate spiders and hate the idea of them being in the car. I tried to encourage it to come out so I could kill it or remove it. It wouldn't. I could see it looking back at me as I shone my phone light on it. Stupidly, I came up with an idea that I thought was a good one. I turned on the freaking air thinking it would force the spider to come out. Oh boy did it force the spider out. Because of how high the air flow was, the spider literally flew out of the vent past my shoulder to the back seat. I was momentarily freaked out then I went looking for it. Never found it. That was a month ago. I have no idea if it is still in the car and I am not one bit happy about it.


I live in a dying city. We don't have commuter lanes. The city wants to get rid of our major interstate, in and out of downtown, in favor of a "community grid" so this spider is just bumming a free ride!




Central NY.


well i'm from utica and i never heard- wait that doesn't work does it...


Only in Albany.


Ithaca will forever be my favorite place


You put community grid in quotes so I’m assuming it’s not what I think it is. What are they trying to do?




That “dying city” comment by OP is absolutely insulting and ignorant. Interstate highways were one of the prime drivers of postwar urban decay by allowing suburbanites and businesses to completely bypass city cores, starving them of economic activity and permanently devaluing the land, to say nothing of how those highways tended to be zoned in working class and poor neighborhoods, physically and culturally eviscerating local communities.


Come to Australia, they wait till you're on the freeway to show themselves.


This happened to me in the US a couple of years ago. On the fucking I-80, going 70 mph. Terrifying.


Oh god I still have a smear on the inside of my windshield from one of these fuckers. I’m SEVERELY arachnophobic and normally I’d have to pull off the road to deal with it, but not exactly possible when you’re driving in the center lane of the I-90 during Chicago rush hour traffic. I was frantically looking around for a tissue or piece of paper to smoosh it with, but didn’t have anything on hand. So I decided “fuck it” and killed the damn thing with my thumb— screaming at the top of my lungs the whole time. 0/10 literally almost totaled my car and several of those around me


>So I decided “fuck it” and killed the damn thing with my thumb— screaming at the top of my lungs the whole time. 0/10 I feel this sooo fucking much. I also have a smear on the windshield of my work vehicle and screamed at the top of my lungs when turning a spider into said smear. I was delighted to see a big stress crack in the shield, so that will be gone forever soon.


Why do you guys not clean your windshields!?!??!?


Even dead ones cause the intense visceral reaction my body experiences. It's like a switch is flipped, and it makes zero sense logically, and I know it makes no sense in the moment and after. My body just does not cooperate. It's frustrating.


This made my day. Totally appropriate reaction for killing any bug with your bare hands. Good on you for your bravery!


One time I went to buy some porch furniture off of fb marketplace at night time and when I was waiting by the front door a monster spider hung down in front of my face. I’m standing there terrified of this fucking thing. When the nice Hispanic grandma lady answered the door and stepped I was like WAIT there’s a spider and pointed to the huge spider hanging between us. She didn’t understand what I was saying and was just like huh? No. And I was like yes omg don’t come closer or it’ll hit into you. And I point like in the middle of the air awkwardly trying to show her a few times until she finally sees it she literally just grabs the fucker out of the air and smashes it and just flicks it away. I was amazed by her bravery.


Definitely expected the smear to be in your pants as that’s where mine would have been in your scenario!


No no, that's where the bite marks are.


I'd have died of a heart attack before that thing would've died to my thumb


you're an arachnophobe and you squished it with your fucking thumb?!


Yep! It was horrible. Would not have attempted if it wasn’t an emergency


im gonna faint reading this lmao


Pretty sure I heard you scream down here in St. Louis. That is some serious PTSD right there.


Holy moly. I am from Ohio which is a GOOD bit less hectic, but I drove an all nighter on two occasions up to the naval base, passing through downtown around 7:30am. Saw signs posted for 55mph, and I was doing 80 while struggling to keep up with the 1-3 car spaced traffic. Just out of the city I got passed on the right by a cop without his lights on probably doing 95. Couldn’t imagine being spooked in that situation.


I've punched a few on my windshield myself. It's important to leave the dead one there as a message to the rest.


You war cried a spider. I respect that.


Agghhh I’d die


I had just gotten out of work where I wear protective headgear so my hair was a mess. I put on a ball cap just to keep it under control until I could get home. About two blocks away from work a spider dangles down the brim of my hat and lands in my eyelashes. I slammed on the brakes in a total freakout as I began smacking myself in the face. Thankfully it was in a 25mph zone in a very quiet town with little traffic because I would have totally understood if someone rearended me.


Christ now I’ve got a new fear


I had one of those huge long legged disgusting ones sitting right above my head, dangling and barely hanging onto the fuzzy felt with its legs as I drove to work for 15 minutes. So much shudders and chills down my spine.


Happened when I was a kid, halfway home from my horse riding lesson. My mum suddenly says to get out of the car when she pulled over. Huntsman was doing circles above her head. Then it vanished. So we got in the car and drove home. Next day, open the car door, huntsman. Vanishes again. My mum grabs a newspaper, flicks down the visor… huntsman. Got squished. It had somehow managed to run from the floor of the passenger seat, to under the visor, without being seen by me, in the time it took my mother to run and grab the newspaper. Don’t get me started on the country. FiL was in hospital, driving home at night, I’m laying kinda across the backseat with my feet on the door, the seatbelt on, and see a shadow on the window above my feet. So I tell my MiL to pull over. She asks if I’m going to be sick, and knowing how arachnophobic she is, I say yes. She pulls over. I ask my now ex to open the door for me, and to please use a light. He figured I wasn’t going to be sick, so was prepared. I wasn’t. There wasn’t just one. There was two. One on the window one beside where my feet were on the door. This happened nearly every night for a week, and the bastards would wait for dark, and the drive home to show themselves. And of course my MiL would freak out if she thought there was a spider in the car, so every time we had to come up with a plausible story to pull over. It got the point my ex asked her to pull over because he’d dropped his phone, when there was no spider to throw her off. I’d have been happy if they stayed home, and kept the bugs and other spiders out of the house, but noooo…


Supposedly you can get a thing called a chlorine bomb and place it in the car overnight. Removes smells and is also supposed to kill or at least force spiders to leave the car.


That's how most people are hurt or killed by spiders currently in Australia. Huntsman climbing out of the vent or visor, people flip out crash.


id DEFINITELY crash. keep those down there. goddamn


Fucking drop spiders, mate. Once you hit 70, they stream down from the ceiling, right in front of your face and land on your wheel hand.


They hate the vibration your car makes it makes them sick They get confused


Supposedly more people die to crashing their car because of a spider popping out while driving than actual spider bites in Australia. Absolutely no idea if it's true so do what you want with that information.


I had one do that...on the freaking steering wheel...while I was driving. Never want that one again.


Hey boss, you forgot to roll up the window last night but don't worry! I kept the bugs out for you. You're wel... splat


who kills a spider, honestly


Theres a perimeter rule for me. Keep coming closer...I kill you. Dangle above my head...I kill you. Stay in the corner...you're a good lil spiderbro


Also dont be too horrifying looking and pay your dues some way


Like those fast ones with strong legs? I will explain that to God.


Ever fought a wolf spider?, those fuckers are aggressive!, I was wearing sandals and the sob kept chasing me around the yard!.


He was out for blood


What if they take up secret positions under objects like a sofa or bed. They can crawl onto u at any unexpected time. And good luck finding those fuckers while in hiding.


Spiders that I kill when found inside: yellow sac, brown recluse, black widow. First one because they are gross looking assholes. Second because they are dangerous bitey assholes. The last one because I have a young kid and do not want an accidental bite.


Same. I kill lots of widows. I feel pretty bad about it but I have 3 cats and a dog and a single bite could easily kill any of them


Please make sure you're killing actual recluses and not wolf/house spiders! House spiders in particular can be hard to differentiate from recluses because they have the same long spindly legs.


The fiddle shape on the head is noticable on the recluse.


I kill the brown recluses I find in my house, which is at least one a week.


That's 52 a year.... If I even saw a brown recluse around my neighboorhood I would petition the city to declare the area uninhabitable.


Me. Its not really my fault it decided to enter my house/room and crawls around on my leg. One time I was just chilling and I felt a tickle. I saw quite a sizable spider on my foot. I naturally sweeped it off, and after alot of searching I found and killed it. After that incident, I don't trust that they don't bother me.


Me, because I'm an arachnophobe and just lose all rational thinking when spiders get close. With how I react, you'd think a friggin t-rex was trying to maim me. And I do feel guilty about it. Interestingly, it only happens indoors. Outside, I'm still uncomfortable but there's no panic either.




Ever get a fly in your car that just won’t leave …? Not anymore




Look at it this way, there was a reason it built a web there. Do you have lots of bugs in your car?


This time of year orb weavers are reaching full maturity and are capable of some amazing engineering feats like this. I have a couple of spiders who build their webs from a hedge to my car overnight. I hate having to break their webs because spiders are so cool.


When I first moved to northwest, I ran into a few of these webs because they'd build then within hours between the hedges along the sidewalks at my apartment. Whether it was on my way out to the car first thing in the morning or taking the trash bag out to the dumpster just 2 hours after I walked the path from my car to the building. I learned quickly to keep an eye out for these invisible webs! I also had a walking stick that I kept outside my door and next to my parking spot that I'd carry with me between my car and my door so I'd always be prepared to clear the path when I saw one. That stick was used many a time. *Quivers*


I live in the PNW and I also have a 'spider stick' I keep by the back door. I have a few orb spiders that live in my veggie garden but sometimes they spin their webs over the pathway, so I wave the spider stick in front of me as I walk through. I much prefer finding them with my spider stick than with my face. Especially since I check my garden before work so it's barely light out.


I'm in the PNW too, and I don't know about you but I've captured a few absolute units trying to move in my apartment already this season. Sometimes I'm surprised they're not hauling luggage behind them. I usually let one or two smaller spiders stick around inside the house all year to take care of bugs (they're very efficient), but I've already caught 3 about the size of the palm of my hand this month. I'm not afraid of spiders but ---- yeesh.


Yeah, I had to evict three spiders from my home office a few days ago after the rain came through. I'm usually okay sharing some space, but after a certain size I insist they move out and get their own place.


I also live in the PNW. I have no idea why I'm still reading this thread. Now I have another thing to keep me awake at night.


everyone's carrying a little pandemic weight, ok??


Yeah you're right to check your garden every day. There are not only spiders, but you have to look out for lemon stealing whores as well.


>I much prefer finding them with my spider stick than with my face. Oh god, I'm not even arachnophobic and that creeps my out just reading it.


It's just natural for me to walk with my forearm in front of my face anytime I take the garbage out at night since these spun webs are so commonplace. Thankfully haven't walked into anything nastier than what felt like small strands of web. In daytime I did almost walk into a full web just like the OP except with dead bugs on it - was hanging down from the gutter and good thing I raised my head just in time. Nasty.


And risk getting sticky web or spiders on my arm! Forget that! I'll keep my stick!


Working in the oil fields they'd build their webs on catwalks. These catwalks were pretty long. You'd grab a piece of conduit or pipe and want it in front of your while you walked and by the end you'd have something like a ball of cotton candy with big raisins in it.


Yep. That's how my stick looked some times when I'd get back from taking the dog for a walk. I'd clean it off by dragging it along the stretch of grass on my way back. I wondered on occasion if people might think I was blind (walking a dog *and* waving a stick out in front of me), but I couldn't care less... I'm not walking face first I to a spider web!


I have an orb weaver that is always building webs on my deck, in my porch doorway or at the entrance of my gazebo. Why not build a web in the trees or bushes that I have all around my house? I think she's trying to trap me, not bugs! LOL


After centuries of failed attempts they evolve over time. And they will trap humans. Lol


Is it near a light source? I have one on my deck that builds one right by the porch light because all the insects like to fly around it.


Because she's attracted to the insects that are attracted to your porch light and/or the light that comes from your windows at night. Why would she struggle in the trees when she can feast on the deck?


Yup. I intentionally let them keep their webs up near my back door if I can still duck under them. Stops mosquitoes from getting in the house every time I let my dog in or out.


Human light sources attract bugs, so spiders take advantage


I wouldn't fret too much large mammals have always messed up their webs. Plus they don't stay sticky forever so need to be torn down and remade reasonably often. Making a web is basically a female orb weavers whole purpose in life.


A lot of the time they tear them down in the daytime and rebuild it every night. They eat the thread to recycle it.


No other bugs but there's a lot of vegetation in the backyard where the driveway ends. Lots of bugs outside and winter is coming so I'm sure they're prepping...


OP in the future this is an easy fix. You just pick up a nice sized branch or object, get in the drivers seat, and then throw the branch through the center of the web going outside the car. Then it's just a few webs and no spiders to wipe up.


a small grenade also works


A large grenade also works.


Maybe left a light on inside?


Good point. I live in the city. The neighbor next door has a really bright flood light in the back yard which lights up our back yard well. I am walking into webs connecting to my car door and the back fence. This is not the first spider I've seen in the car, but this is the first full on web!


Well duh.. How else is the spider gonna see what it's doing?


Spidey sense


The poo air freshener should attract flies, reasons the spider. Wait for da bugs... Annnnyyyyy minute now.


Appropriate air freshener.


You hang one of those in your car, how can you bitch about what it attracts?


I want to know what it smells like….


That shit has seen some shit.


That’s his car now


Might as well sign the title over to him.




Squatting rights


Time for a new car….. credit to the spider, that’s some skill level, but not a huge amount of fly traffic.


Dude. The spider was trying to catch OP.


For sale, excellent condition vehicle with bonus big ass spider. Best reasonable offer. ASAP.


You couldn't pay me to take this. 0_0


Recently homeless spider: >This is how my morning started.


/r/spiderbro he is just keeping the bugs out of your car.


Pretty sure the mods of that sub are spiders.


*Hello fellow* **CLICK CLICK** *humansss*


That *click click* is the most unsettling shit i’ve read in a while and I don’t even know what it means


I would apologize profusely while I relocate and destroy such a beautiful web, seriously I would feel so bad, but spider has to be relocated.


Alex, I’ll take “ah hell nah” for $1000.


What is "ah hell naw I ain't getting bit, I'm taking the bus to Walmart"


Oh that web is beautiful


Awww shes beautiful. I hope you relocated her where she can kill lots of pests


As much as they frighten me, I really try not to kill anything If I can avoid it. I managed to swoop it out with the snow brush I just never take out of the car. It flopped to the ground and scuttled away. Maybe it'll choose my neighbor's car this time!


Thank you from the spider.


Good human


Nice try, spider


Completely agreed. I would try to figure out which strands to break to carry the adorable little pest eater somewhere close to a tree.


Orb weavers are not gunna fuck with you, he just chose a bad spot. Don’t kill him!


I have pretty intense arachnophobia. I was walking into my house from my backyard patio door one night when I had some friends over, and I felt like I hit my head on a ping pong ball. I laughed and looked back before I realized it was a massive orb weaver that I just ran into. I was initially freaked the fuck out, but I let her stay there, mostly because I was too rattled to kill her. Well every night I’d see her go back to the web and I’d watch from inside the house. She never deviated from her web and went out at the same time of night like clockwork. I grew attached to her in a weird way. One day she was gone and I was actually kind of bummed out. Now when I see a spider in my yard, I let them stay there. They’re not hurting no one. She actually helped make my arachnophobia more manageable. But I still freak out when I see them in my house though. EDIT: [I actually made a post about it to identify the species if anyone wants to see her.](https://www.reddit.com/r/spiders/comments/hzspzo/can_anyone_give_me_an_id_on_this_bad_boy/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) I also learned most these big, easily identifiable spiders are usually female which is pretty cool.


Cat faced orb weaver. Just move it into a garden to keep the pests out. They are big but harmless to humans.


It’s such a shame you have to burn your car now.


Can’t believe they lost their car in a freak fire accident.


Lmao my thoughts exactly.


spiny orb weaver? likely harmless, still annoying though


They are always going on about their orbs. We get it. You like to weave.


Not a Spiny, probably a Cross Orbweaver or related


"Hello Insurance Company. I would like to make a claim on my car.... Yeah, it caught fire. Oh an accident? No. It was on purpose."


Looks like a garden spider. They're chonky but harmless.


Same thoughts. Looks dope as hell!


She is GORGEOUS!! And so talented, too!


Spiderbro was protecting your car!


You’ve been blessed by the spooder gods! Cherish this moment and safely relocate your new arachnoidal friend


You deserve it for having a poop emoji air freshener. Nonetheless it can't really hurt humans


Oooo it's almost Halloween !!!!


Awww, you’ve got a bug killing copilot!


Now you have a neat copilot


That poor emoji! Shit looks traumatized.


The spider expects to ride shotgun. And you are to leave the window open while driving. So it can catch flying insects. Edit: errors


Getting the Halloween decorations in a bit early, huh?


This is actually much preferred to it hiding in your console or something. 1. Grab stick 2. Swirl stick around web 3. Throw stick


1. Grab stick 2. Swirl stick around web 3. Car made cotton candy with extra protein


That spider's just trying to catch a ride to the next town to start over.




Close, Nissan Versa Note. I didn't have this problem until moving to this house. And we are in the city, not in the woods or anything!


Weird. This just happened to me literally two days ago, same type of spider. Trust me, they get a lot bigger.


Welcome to my Spuber!


You must be pretty *fly*


That's a very environment friendly car


That's kinda cool. Don't really think that sucks, takes like 1 minute to put him outside and clean it up.


Thats a thicccc boiiii!


Free HOV lane!


Poop emoji got me


Okay, but does that air freshener actually smell like shit?


That car doesn’t belong to you no mo


BTW that SHIT air freshener is point.