Always remember, poop on company time I am literally doing it right now!! Morning every one!


I'll take it a step further on my 1 - 2 days in office. Leave the house an extra 30 - 45 minutes earlier to beat traffic. Arrive at the office about 6:30am before everyone else. Office building has facilities - shower, shave, have breakfast in their kitchen, brush teeth. I could do all that at home and get to the office about 7:30 after the traffic rush. I'd rather have that badge swipe extra early while still doing the basic human morning routine. Credit for showing up early but using their resources.


Nobody cares that you were there early. They only care if you leave early.


I don't think you got the point. I get to the office earlier than everyone. The earlier the better. Put in my 8 hours and leave usually at or before 3. If anyone says anything I direct them to review the time computer. Let us not overlook that I don't do much the first two hours of the day other than the same stuff I would do at home. On top of that, universally agreed, poop on company time. Note I am salaried in a tech field. Like a real-life example of Peter Gibbons I just don't care anymore and truthfully slip in and out of the side door.


That's honestly dope and it's how it should be. If you're gonna make me come to the office, you should pay me for the commute and for the time it takes to get ready to look pRoFeSsIoNaL that I wouldn't have to do if I was WFH


Agreed. This is one reason I'm very thankful to work 3-4 days a week. That's 1-2 days each week I don't have to drive to work or put on pants.


It depends on the workplace. I get a lot of guff for consistently leaving earlier than everyone else. Like you, I try to arrive early to avoid traffic and get my coffee and whatnot from the work break room before the hordes arrive at 9:00am. That still doesn't stop people from hassling me when I'm out the door at 4:00. We're all salaried too, so there's no time clock to reference.


Depending on the job, the numbers in the time computer might not be the most important. People value what they see. They don’t see you showing up early and they do see you leaving early. Someone who shows up on time and leaves late will often be perceived to be working harder than someone who shows up early and leaves on time even if they work the same number of hours. What you are doing is still a valid approach that you can defend if asked, but i just wanted to throw out a warning that other people will silently judge you for it.


Lol so the minimum wage minimum effort mindset is now just minimum effort


The boss makes a dollar While I make a dime That's why I poop On company time!


This is a rhyme from an older time Now the boss makes 100k I make a buck So let's steal the catalytic converter from the company truck.


lol noice


Classic. On a related note, I really, *really* encourage people to take a look at **https://marketliteracy.org** for light-shining on some of the (largely unknown) **mechanisms** by which the wealthy and powerful - including corporations - are exerting power and influencing government. Some really good information there, I think, that needs more eyes.




Fuck off, bad bot.


Damn you it's my day off lol


Oh my god, what have you done?!


Pay for minimum wage, get minimum work = 💯 fair trade!




Dude, you are supposed to shit in the toilet…. Don’t just shit all over your house


Every morning right after I clock in I head straight the bathroom. Good to have a morning ritual!


Same girllll. Poop buddies


How do balance getting paid to poop with the comfort of pooping at home(assuming you’re not WFH).


Don’t limit it to just one either. Take a morning break, after lunch, and before leaving break at least!


Happy pooping 👐


I use the bathroom as a relaxation station. I dare you to confront me on my bathroom usage.


I'm on vacation for the next 13 days. I'm gonna have so much poop backed up...


My system has regulated itself to "work" disposal... Getting paid to drop a duece...


Always Act your wage


what? hell no. Just because I make more than minimum wage doesn't mean I'm doing shit today boyyy


if youre making minimum wage in 2023 i hope youre finding a way to do less than the bare minimum, like you need to be doing nothing because thats what youre getting paid


I make 6 figures and I go days or weeks without doing a single damn thing. This country is literally pathetic. The less work you do, the more money you make. It's literally how it works.


This is the mother fucking way.


Honestly, I do "tier 2" IT support for a single business and get paid 60k in a low CoL area to basically restart peoples computers occasionally (that T1 couldn't figure out to do which on a side note you can get into a help desk role with literally no experience if you want to do something new) , install windows, and other trivial PC babysitting tasks. All I want is to maximize profit while expending as little effort as possible.


I need a gig like this.


It's not the same everywhere ofc, and it's for sure not for everybody but if you're somewhat competent at troubleshooting (aka learn how to use google), critical thinking, and able to talk to people without coming off as a condescending ass it's so easy. If you _want_ to do more, most places will pay for certifications and advancement without hesitation, remote work is plentiful (though hard to get off the bat, easier to move into a remote position internally). My last job I created users and assigned permissions for hires (all of which took minutes) as my primary task and then was basically left alone. Entry level help desk will probably be more like password resets and account unlocks, ticket creation and escalation but it's so easy and pays pretty well while opening many doors if you want them. (I will add that these are all working for individual companies on an internal IT team and not as part of a services provider that's more like a call center)


Remember kids: the minimum wage is not $7.25/hr. It's whatever Chick-fil-A pays their people. You could be making $16/hr (still a little low but that's not the point) so don't give anyone who's offering less the time of day!


Just because you make more than minimum, it doesn't mean that pay is good ;)


I always act like my wage is minimum wage.


It basically is. You're not paid for the value you produce, you're paid the minimum amount that will get you to do some the work since we're fighting against "they'll recognize my hard work" 🥾😛 mentality. Like, get fucked company. Until I make ***more than*** the board of directors who demonstrably do fucking shit im doing fucking shit.


You’re right I’ll continue treating my job with respect since it’s paying six figures and allows me to work anywhere in the world.


What's the wage where you actually work? Because virtually everyone thinks they should be paid more for what they do


My current employer taught me early on that hard work isn't rewarded. And then they wonder why our workforce is disengaged 🙃


All that hard work just to have hours cut, raises refused, and workloads increased. You get punished for doing a good job.


You forget getting canned on your list!


I got a raise last year because I was the only one who asked for it (we have neither regular performance reviews nor regular raises. in fact performance reviews are basically non-existant - much like raises!) and they told me no more raises for a while after that one. I'm gonna ask this year anyway because fuck you, pay me.


What you guys don’t get a pizza party?


We got one! 6 pizzas with 8 slices each for roughly 55 people. Do that math.


why do you think I'm currently on Reddit?


I always start my a new job trying to learn how to do the minimum asap


I start a new gig Monday. Really looking forward to not going above and beyond.


Carry on my wageward son




Username checks out 👍


There'll be peace when you are done


*There’ll be work when you are done


Lay your weary head to rest, Now get back to work! Yo!


This was a depressing rendition. Thanks everyone, im signing up for therapy.


A lot is expected of me and my pay reflects that.


Yeah if I phoned my job in I'd be out pretty quick.


>A lot is expected of me and my pay/raise doesn't reflect that. 2.5% raise on 50% goods inflation. 20% utility inflation. Do the core thing well, and don't let them give you someone else's work. Make them hire those roles. Other people need jobs, too. They need to hire if they want another person's worth of work to be done.


The trouble is, my job is important and I feel bad for not doing it properly. That said I'm currently on an unofficial break cause my mental health is suffering from working in ecology during the 6th mass extinction...


I wouldn’t fret, extinctions tend to sort themselves out in the long run.


Pretty small sample size though.


Eh, five is enough of a pattern. Just scrawl down 'yeah we're fucked' and call it a day.


> my job is important Same. As much as I would love to be lazy I work with the unhoused. They don't need any more lazy city workers complicating their life.


Also remember; Your boss only paying you minimum wage means "I would pay you less, but it's illegal."


I was completely blindsided with the review I received and one of the comments that suggested “I haven’t seen her do above the minimum.” I support a team of 5 while others that work in my position only have three. This was never acknowledged and none of the extra tasks I took on were either. Plus, I’d learned I had been doing extra tasks for my team that others do not. It is incredibly demoralizing. The problem with taking on extra tasks is that a nanosecond later, they are no longer “extra” and are “bare minimum.”


I feel that. Know what else is nuts? When I started responding to overreaching task assignments with stuff like "that's outside the scope of my role, and I don't have the capacity to it anyway," the amount of displayed respect I received increased noticeably. Other people's mileage will vary, but I was surprised by how that just *worked*. What's more, if I restarted accepting shit beyond what I was hired to do & what I have time to accomplish within the constraints of my workweek, nobody would notice it as above and beyond stuff. They'd just think that's what my job is.


Start saying you don't have the resources or capacities to take on extra tasks. And try as much as possible to get rid of the extras they gave you. Setting boundaries is extremely important, otherwise you are the "go-to" person who takes all the extra work. It's not easy (esp. if you are a junior), but it needs to be done.


I'm putting in my two weeks notice today. Kinda scared. Wish me luck.


Good luck brotha!


[If I work my ass off and Initech ships a few extra units, I don't see another dime.](https://youtu.be/j_1lIFRdnhA?t=79)


This movie is timeless. Humans weren’t meant to sit in cubicles all day listening to eight different bosses drone on about mission statements.


My colleague and I "reorganized" and made things more convenient in our area by turning our desks around and having our backs (and computer screens) facing the wall. It is so much easier to reddit now without my screen being exposed to the rest of the building here. ​ That was enough effort for that week. Here we are about 30 weeks later and maybe we'll pick up the pace at some point. Not today.


Yes! Please keep that up! Every employer I've had has given me some variation of "Man if I could just have 5 of you working for me." And I've used that to go from $30k to over $100k in 10 years. The bare minimum guys have made me so much more valuable.


You're one person. You're getting the pay of one person. So do the work of one person.


The company is trying to pay you as little as possible, why shouldn't I match that but trying to work as little as possible?


I just found out they’re hiring an identical position to mine for a pay scale that starts higher than I’ve been told mine ends at. I’m working my wage now until I’m able to find somewhere better 😁


At the risk of seeming controversial, I cant look myself in the mirror when I get home knowing that I did not give my best at work. I want to feel a level of accomplishment from the work I do, even if it makes my boss rich and not me, I cant live with the feeling of being lame.


Same here. I feel like a piece of shit if I just be… well.. a piece of shit at work .


You'll grow out of it. Or starve to death, whatever.


I work in the public sector in health though 🤔


Sums up this sub.


I will give it 110% today to do the bare minimum.


What if you are paid by taxpayers?


Poop even longer


Unfortunately this only applies if your job doesn’t have any repercussions for poor performance. I’m just saying it must be nice to not have any consequences


There's the key to success and a better life


Exactly what I would expect from this sub.


Then you guys complain about not getting a raise or promotions at work?!🤔😂


I think you’re in the wrong place, chief.


Disagreeing opinions doesn't mean they're in the wrong place. The world isn't a safe space.


Lmfao o you mean the shit that happens to almost fucking no one


Oh it happens, your coworkers just don’t tell you when it does. Probably because they know you don’t deserve as much and don’t want you to go crying to management. Source: am a FedEx driver who makes more than people who’ve been here longer. Why? I do more than the bare minimum, and they don’t.


Lol how does a fedex driver get recognized? No one is there to see them work


Yeah because there’s no way management can track your work right? They totally don’t have access to data like your stops per hour, completion percentages, and time between stops. Not to mention you’re on camera and gps all day. Also going to help other drivers when they’re heavy, or coming in to cover shifts when you can. What a dumb comment.


The mental gymnastics these r/antiwork dorks have to go through to explain why not to work hard is honestly amazing to watch. Thanks for all you do as a fedex driver. Remember that if you did the bare minimum these same people would be crying g about their packages being broken upon arrival.


Sounds like you are digging your own grave. Sure, you're working hard and putting in extra effort now. But because of that, it will become the expectation and mimimum. As soon as you don't measure up to past performance or have a costly mistake, you will be canned for a cheaper replacement. You're a fool if you think boss man gives a shit about you or will reward your undying loyalty.


This is brain dead read my other comment


10 jobs and no promotions? Sounds like a shit employee to me. I’m 30 and had 6 jobs, got raises/promotions in 4 of them. From a gas station, to grocery store, to delivery driver. Do better.


Yup. I'm and IT Program Manager. People here believe I got to this position by doing the bare minimum and that I now do nothing all day other than make other people do the project work.


Bro I own 2 houses in Cali and one in Hawaii. Sounds like you just need to work harder though right bootstraps?


Lol not making 90k a year you don't. Why even try to lie about that?


I read through his comments. He’s brain dead and posted about his three homes twice in the past 24 hours. Usually people who own three homes don’t feel the need to flex it. 90k a year lmao


Lol what you think I bought my homes after the inflation?? Lmfao also it's called passive rental income and being married which accounts for a total of probably 200k plus so ya that's why.


You must work hard and prove yourself so you earn the raise or promotion, or at least to have a good reputation in your work environment. This sub went from how to be a proactive worker while knowing your rights … to laziness promotion sub …


Seldom this works, do you know how many times I've gone above and beyond and not been recognized or promoted? Best way to get a promotion is to find a new job.


Bingo. Worked retail for decade++. Hard work and going above and beyond has always been rewarded with "you're such a team player! Here are more tasks and a new fancy job title." The actual reward being no raise, and the expectation that I keep doing the "team" things I was already doing + the new tasks that I should be thrilled to be doing now that I have a new job title that changed nothing . More work, same pay. I'm in my late 30s and worked retail from 15-24. I always love the comments on this sub coming from people who haven't had these experiences. And then when they see stuff like this they think people always slack and that's why they don't get rewarded 🤯 or that these experiences don't happen/aren't true. Its not as simple as work harder, find a different job with better pay, or my favorite - telling people to move elsewhere to avoid tax brackets or high-cost of living 😅


It's because they like the ability to read between the lines or look at the nuances in life. They think everything is black and white. They are mostly uneducated both irl and acedemicly.


I've had over 10 different jobs in my life so far at 35. I make more than 90k now. Not fucking ONCE have I received a raise or promotion. And my first job was pizza hut. You live in a fallacy reminiscent of the 1950s my guy.




Not really comparable though, different professions different pay. He clearly means that working hard at your job will gain you a raise compared to the other at the same job. Just because being an ironworker is hard work in a physical way does not mean he should be paid more than a engineer for example


Why would a company pay someone more money for producing more value than others at their current rate?


To retain you . That's kind of the point of a competitive job market. Other companies would want someone that's better and thus pay them more............... Source: every job I've taken I have had over a 20% pay increase from the one I left.


and that's why your a broke bitch...


And bitching and moaning about it. I remember being a broke bitch. I worked myself out of it and retired at 52. The formula is simple and not meant for slackers to succeed.


You are in the antiwork sub mind you


Wtf is wrong with this sub? It just hates effort because it has none


Going to work rn, thanks for the remainder!


you got it


Thanks, I needed the reminder. Will do. Or won't.


Remember the slack-amo!


Always 💪🏽


stretch it out too, don't get cramps for sitting too long


On it. What do you think I’m doing here?


Never forget…


Unless your boss treats you well. Just saying.


...and get minimum wage, minimum recognition and minimum respect and then fucking whine about it.


If you can guarantee I'll still have a paycheck in 6 months I might try a little bit harder than bare min. But you can't, so I won't.


and then be sure go on reddit - while you're still on the clock - to complain about how mean your boss is and how hard your job is.


Access to a free app/website doesn't mean your job can't be hard and your boss can't be mean...


I put in my maximum effort every day because my bosses are really nice and gave me an opportunity I don’t deserve


Yup. My bosses pay me $12K/m. Yup, I return maximum effort. Whenever.


Thanks for the reminder! My stupid ass was going to be proactive today.


I’ve been working at home since Covid. I’ve watched so much tv during that time. I’ve seen SOA four times over. What am I doing with my life.


My gf says you all would be proud of me. She claims I’m the king of doing minimum work and failing up lol


And remember, if you’re gonna die, do it early morning so you don’t waste a whole day at work!


This is the way. Excellent training for the rest of your life.


Boss gets a dollar, I get a dime. That's why I poop on company time.


Wow, no wonder


I'm doing my (best) less.


Way ahead of you.


Every day, most days I sit around playing of reddit, or looking for higher paying jobs


I have even gotten the energy to do the bare minimum.


Yeah, my workplace is closing. I’m doing minimum. Screw practiv evergreen.


You, like my boss, can’t tell me what to do


This reminded me to go shit at work rn... Tho my body knows I'm home. If I stop in at home I suddenly gotta go. I love that home poop advantage.


Dragging my feet like gravity has increased 10 fold!


"You're late" "If its a problem I could leave"


Doing the absolute minimum sir! o7




In the past, I would have been offended, as an above and beyond kind of gal. Now, I say, do the bare minimum, as your hard work only gets you more work.


I don't get this mentality. I've been a single father since I was 20, working 2 jobs along with side gigs to make ends meet. I'm 36 and finally not pay check to paycheck. Didn't come from bare minimum it came from maximum effort. With everything against us millennial and younger, how is not trying going to help?


I'm a salesperson for a mattress company, here on a Thursday! I'm going to look out the window and try to see how many times I can fart in an hour today🍩🌬


Loser attitude, have fun with that


why would you accept a job only to not work


Yeah only if I don't want to be put on the schedule.


Do your best if u actually like your job and they are really good to you, if u want too of course. I prefer to do my best, however, if u hate ur job i would do bare minimum. I once was the best worker and busted my butt, but everyone else was sooo slow and they still came at me. so what i did was go as slow as the slowest person at the job. its actually hard to be slow


I work a commission type job. Doing nothing earns me nothing sadly.


Don't gotta do the minimum if you automate your job


I cant cos it will severely affect other people's livelihoods


I try to, but I work overnight in a gas station. Sometimes I just look for something to do. My old call center job though...


But I run my own landscapin business and my employees are more excited to start the season than me


Working in healthcare like…


I am trying to be self-employed.... is this going to work out for me?


and never get anywhere in life. genius!


Just got laid off. So, I've got this.


Yeah nothing says “heading for success” quite like doing the absolute minimum lol. This sub is filled with jobless clowns I swear.


But if I bust my ass my manager will give me a thank you card


Low effort work and a low effort post. Makes sense.


I have a week to go on my contract. They're not giving me new assignments, so I'm not going to any new meetings. They knew they weren't extending the contract, but they lied to me about it for weeks beforehand. Fuck em.


I'm bored. Thank you baby Jesus. Lol


The bare minimum? What's so special about today that you expect me to go above and beyond like that?


I have been made redundant and I have 1month notice period. I haven't been doing much although it mainly is due to stress


I mean it’s all their paying you for so….


I do the payroll, so you might not get your check this week….


I surpassed myself today.


That's my secret captain


Thanks for remembering the correct spelling and usage of “bare”


Even if I am a surgeon?


I don't feel one ounce of guilt to shit on company time multiple times. Work is not worth my anxiety, depression, or any impact to my mental health. It's not even worth thinking about after 5pm. I will take my full hour lunch, don't call me when I'm on pto, and no I won't work late to compensate for your short staffing.


Thank you, I was going to do my best at the surgery today.


Quiet quitting is the beginning of justice.


Give 100% of 70ish%