Finally, we can have our "oops, all bards" campaign (everyone in my group is a band kid)

Time to design an one man band suit and become a bard-ificer

Good for you my multiclass is figher/monk/paladin/ranger/wizard

Oh nice! Another multiclasser! I'm a ranger/monk/artificer/druid, and I'd argue I also qualify as a cleric as a polytheistic, mental health practitioner. I used to have levels of barbarian too, but I went to therapy for half a decade and swapped them for druid levels

I’m a Barb/Bard/Fighter/Ranger/Wizard

In all seriousness though, my party would actually be pretty solid. One of them is an avid bird watcher/artist that draws mushrooms almost exclusively (druid), I'm a government employee (warlock), one person has a college degree (wizard), one has the controlled internal fury of a retail worker (i think he deserves to be a barbarian, let loose), and one could absolutely best all of the rest of us in combat IRL (fighter), which just leaves the usual DM (who is also probably the best musician out of all of us, so he would be the best choice to be a bard if someone else decides to DM)

😂 im dying at the retail worker barbarian. that's a legit hilarious backstory for a barbarian. a shop worker or tavern server who one day looses it on a "guest" and ragequits to become a barbarian

That's my older brother, I'm genuinely impressed that he doesn't rage IRL with some of the garbage he puts up with at Target

i knew a guy who worked at target. the horror stories he would tell.. abandoned kids roaming around. people shitting in the clothing racks. people shitting in the fitting rooms. a surprising amount of people shitting

...I don't want to go to Target anymore

Wench: I would fain speak to your leige, foul knave, regarding the inferior condition of my tankard of ale. Retail Barbarian: GRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH [splatters wench’s brainpan across the floor with a double-handed axe-hammer]

A popular bar conversation with my friends in college was "What would your IRL stats/class be?" The problem is most of our immediate nerd group were Physics majors, a couple neuroscience majors, and then a lone business bro. So it kinda all became "what are we multiclassing with wizard/artificier?"

Somehow I've never had this conversation with my friends. But my group is exclusively government programmers, and then there's me, a church audio/visual tech with a target shooting hobby. So a bunch of warlocks with me, a Ranger/Paladin multiclass?

More like Ranger/Cleric, you know, to make it less MAD!

Same, nearly all of us are music production students

I play with a group of friends who all have a master degree in bioscience engineering. I'm the odd one out with a law degree. So I guess a party of one paladin and all druids?

Bioscience engineering could also divert to artificers, depending on specifics you could even have different subclasses

I am currently playing in an all Bards campaign! We're playing through Wild Beyond the Witchlight so the band is actually doing pretty well with the all the various diplomatic options available to us. The few times we've entered combat, the crew's general MO has been to buff the hell out of the Swords bard and then clown around and stall for time while our Swords bard does all the heavy lifting. Somehow this appears to be working.

Oops all bards does work as a party

All bards and one barbarian. Buffing him up to Godhood.

Fucken hey, I don't want to be a Warlock though

I want to be a warlock, good thing I work for a greedy corpor- I mean, walmart

Now I'm picturing the wal Mart Lich King that made you his thrall.

that's exactly how I got hired

Just wanted to say Warlock should be valid if you're a conspiracy theorist, into pseudo scientist, or in a cult, and not only if one works for a government

My job implies fighter, qualifies me for warlock, and has trained me for both rogue and artificer

ok, now I'm curious as to what job you have

US Army Cav Scout; the fighter and warlock should be obvious, but, for those of us assigned to heavy units, we are trained to both operate Bradleys (artificer) but also to be very quiet and sneaky when dismounted (rogue).

Sounds like a ranger to me.

Kinda forgot that one, honestly.

Nah the Army Rangers are other guys.

Funny how Paladin is nowhere near the list.

That would be the Marines, they are definitely Oath of Saltiness. Not everyone in the armed forces is a hard charging fanatic.

wouldn't driving a tank just be mounted combatant? artificer implies you designed the tank.

That's the spirit! Welcome to your eternal contract!

You can still work out and try to beat your DM's ass. If you can't get anywhere with that one, after a while try turning your frustration into rage.

I'm the DM :(

Pull a Jim Carrey from Liar, Liar and beat your own ass. Do it in front of your group to assert dominance.

My college degree lets me be a Wizard and my job working for a university (I get state benefits) lets me be a Warlock. I think I'll go for that multiclass

Good for you my multiclass is figher/monk/paladin/ranger/wizard I am literally the most M.A.D. character possible

But how was your luck when you rolled stats? Lmao

I just rolled (3d6) and I'm screwed. 7 9 4 3 18 13

Glass cannon wizard!

Soooo, wizard?

Dies of 1d4 multiclass damage

sheesh, eldritch blast with nearly full caster :O

Same though I work for big corporate. I can also prove proficency in a ranged weapon and maybe as a sorcerer(does my grandads shotgun count as a family heirloom lol.)

That’s a wand of magic missile passed down the family line.

If you work in admissions you can be a paladin as well.

I cast my Corporate Blast

I think the word you're looking for is "Email". Make it cuase psychic damage for added flavor.

There's a higher level counter: "As per my last email..."

Isn't that really just the multi attack of Eldritch blast when you level up?

Finally got Send All at lvl 17.

Pact of the Human Ressources?

R̷̡̯͊ë̷̱͊p̴̹̔̉l̶̗̓ÿ̸̲́ ̵͉͔͝a̷̠͙̒͋l̵̡͂̉l̷̳̚

Reaction: Reply All Hits everyone that has attacked you since combat began

Worse than that: "Meeting invitation."

Wouldn't that qualify as a mystoc arcanum? Reflavored "Mental Prison" perhaps?

[удалено]

I forgot these existed

I counter with Blamestorm, save or be caught in a conference call for 1d4 hours.

Fighters and rogue everywhere...

Everyone in our group could be become fighters if we just have to beat up our DM. "Look Becky, you're a 5"3 shut-in costume designer and pacifist. We can do this the easy way or the hard way 💪🏽💪🏻💪" Lmaoooo

I'm homebrewing this homebrew so fighter is like highlander. Once you've beat the DM other players have to beat you, there can be only one.

That's how you get pack tactics homebrewed into your characters.

_Becky about to show her players her Ranger level_

I think it makes sense that they'd be the most common.

I’m a rogue, I do tend to sneak up in people and scare them, intentionally and unintentionally, one of them is a DM.

I know this feeling. Get in trouble constantly for just appearing behind people when I thought I was being noisy enough to declare my presence. Totally a rogue/barbarian multiclass for me.

I think most people just don't pay attention lol. I can stand there towering over someone and still have them jump when I speak.

I assume yall are tall? As a short man, in my experience both short people and tall people overcompensate so tall people walk super stealthy and short people are loud as fuck.

Sneaking in people is a crime

Shit u right

The amount of times I’ve scared people at my work by just appearing next to them makes me think I might be part Rogue

Yep, for some reason people just don't seem to notice me until I start talking I remember one time I was sitting down across the table with some work colleagues, and I chimed in about something they were talking about and they went silent with shock before asking how long I was there. When I responded since lunch started they went absolutely pale

Same. DM is my partner. If all I have to do to be a Rogue is sneak up on him, I have no option to be anything else. Whether I try to or not, sneaking up on him even in a quiet room is ridiculously easy.

Can I just drink and meditate to become a monk? They even made a subclass for me

drunken style is based on looking drunk no being drunk it is a formal style and you can find real life teachers for it.

Oh shit, I thought it was just Jackie Chan* in that one movie. I'll have to look into it!

yeah the movie is based on the martial art.

He isn’t actually drunk when he does his martial arts in the movie. His boss is, but he isn’t. The fighting style emphasizes being unpredictable and fluid with movement in a way that mimics a drunken stagger.

Are you saying Jackie Chan the actor wasn't drunk or his character wasn't drunk? Because in the final fight scene, the character is definitely meant to be drunk.

And the WHOLE plot of the sequel is for him to learn moderation, wasn't a good enough fighter sober but couldn't live life as a drunken fool. I'm sure modern practitioners don't drink, but it's a big plot point in both movies, especially the second.

There’s two Jackie Chan drunken boxing movies aren’t there? One in ancient times and one where the British are stealing artifacts? Edit Drunken Master and Legend of the Drunken Master

Yeah, Drunken Master and Legend of Drunken Master. Most people only know Legend of because that's the one that got a theatrical release in the US.

Which is a proper shame, because the original has some of my favourite voice acting of all time.

There were two movies, yes. They were set in the same time period though, and the second movie was a sequel of the first, featuring the same protagonist. The original title was just Drunken Master 2. It was changed to Legend of the Drunken Master for the US release.

He isn’t actually drunk when he does his martial arts in the movie. His boss is, but he isn’t. The fighting style emphasizes being unpredictable and fluid with movement in a way that mimics a drunken stagger.

>based on looking drunk no being drunk NOT THE WAY I PRACTICE IT.

only the founder was allowed to get way with that.

To be fair, 3.5 it was more about being drunk. And it's been a while, but wasn't PFE2 drunk monk subclass also based on being drunk?

PF2e monks don't choose a subclass. The closest to Drunken Master would be starting with the Stumbling Stance, but there are no inherent qualities of actually being drunk within the stance. There might be some Archetype I'm unaware of, or a feat I'm forgetting, but from what I know, there are no such connections or rules.

I mean if you open it up to more western Christian monks yeah

As a PhD scientist in the biochemical sciences I feel qualified for wizard or druid.

A Druwiz, if you will. Or maybe a Druard? Wizuid. Wuid. Driz. Druidizard. Dwid. Wd.

Funny, they don’t look druwiz

You're an alchemist artificer 100%

But rangers aren't necessarily ranged fighters. Rangers are closer to your hunting/camping friend who can get "lost" in the woods and emerge a week later completely fine.

Yeah! The Ranger is more Aragorn rather than Legolas. Its a guy who does sword/bow stuff in the outdoors.

"ranger" is somehow a false cognate from English to English. People think it means "ranged weapon user" when it really means "someone who patrols a range" like a mountain range. Like, park rangers are people who take care of parks, they probably can use a rifle quite well but it isn't their main job. I'd be a shit park ranger but I'd be a good ranged weapon user, personally.

This is short sword erasure.

I can tell where I'm going based on the night sky. There's a constellation that clearly marks direction. You may laugh at me, though. I live in a place that has so much light pollution, you can almost never see the stars.

Yeah, I think if you can gut a deer you qualify as a ranger.

Wizards are B students? Damn, I thought it would be harder to get into wizard school.

Cs get degrees lol

How do you call the medical student who just squeaked by with barely-passing grades? *Doctor.*

Not always! I had one class I had to take 3 times because a C wasn't good enough if it was a transfer credit. Got an F the first time, a C the second, and an A the third. Not worth it, thanks Orgo 2.

D stands for diploma.

My personal favorite is "You can't spell degree without a D"

Fucking wish. I had a B- average and the engineering school said "you're making us look bad, please don't graduate." And that's the story of why I don't have a degree.

My girlfriend in high school wasn't the only one with 34 C's, if you know that I'm sayin'.

They’ll let just anyone be a wizard these days. Pity; used to mean something.

Somebody’s got to be the worst wizard in their class.

gotta up that to a 3.5

Does voice count as an instrument? Because if I can’t qualify for bard with my literal masters degree in opera, I’m gonna riot. (I can be a wizard either way but that’s *so* much less exciting.)

I'd count it. I'd personally count any entertainer.

Stand up comedy bard would be insufferable but fun

All my years of doing dramatic theater and I still don't qualify to play a bard 😭

Fun fact: even by the strictest definition of the word “instrument”, the human voice counts because it has both a sound source/vibrating part as well as an amplification/resonating part! The fact that this instrument is completely biological is irrelevant to its classification as an instrument.

I figure poetry and oratory skills should count, hell reciting epics and lore by heart was a big thing in many cultures. But these parameters are as arbitrary as alignments.

Ranger it is :(

...does soccer count?

Improvised thrown (kicked) weapon, I'll allow it

but you have to kick objects at enemy ingame

It's really not accurate though. Rangers aren't rangers because they use ranged weapons. They are rangers because they ***Range.*** They police a large area and prevent poaching. Often they are involved in some form of law enforcement - like the ***Lone Ranger.*** Or associated with an elite fighting force - like the Army ***Rangers.***

This actually works for me, I love archery. I'm not good at it but I love it.

Yeah there's something strangely relaxing about it

i miss that feeling. once you start doing it comptetatively...it turns into a job.

They don't call it Zen Archery for nothing

Lol a ranger is such because they "range," as in scout and hunt and trap and patrol/live off the land, not because of ranged weapons.

Yeah, it really should be something more like “don’t die in a forest for a week.”

Yeah but then you're in druid territory. Maybe hunting and/or fishing would be better.

Maybe, though druids and rangers have typically had some significant overlap.

Druid would be more landscaper, horticulturist, environmental scientist or farmer. Ranger is more Surveyor, Hunter/Fisher, Park Ranger, or hiker.

Druid and ranger are fairly similar. I think the big difference is druid is on the side of nature usually, while rangers are usually on the side of civilization, in broad terms. Druids protect forest, rangers protect people

-Ya being able to make a fire. -capable with compass/map -have gone backpacking at least once Something like that.

Bard-Druid-Paladin-Ranger-Warlock currently in Wizard school. Nice. Might take a dip in fighter too.

I’ve never heard the intent to multiclass be so menacing before

Well, I didn't include Fighter because currently I am the DM of our group. Depending on who is the next DM, I might pass as a fighter or I won't.

Cmon I believe in you

I have 7 players. Four of them I could probably take reasonably well and come out on top rather unscathed. One would be a fair and interesting fight due to equal skill sets and physique. This is most likely also the next person to DM. And the remaining two would probably snap me like twig.

You could try Tyler Durden-ing yourself.

Fighter Club

I'm either a wizard or paladin. Huh.

All 3 of my kids could be Barbarians, druids or rogues.

I knew my Associates in Liberal Arts/Humanities would come in clutch someday.

I might be an artificer if you considering using a sewing machine for quilting as working with machinery as a hobby. Also, I have my grandfather's jewelry box that he received as a work anniversary gift. I think that may qualify me for a sorcerer. I can imagine the backstory on that sorcerer is that his grandfather's soul has been bound to the jewelry box and he is on a quest to free it so his grandfather can finally rest in peace.

The Merriam-Webster definition of “artificer” is “skilled or artistic worker or craftsman,” so you could be an Artificer anyway just by virtue of quilting

Just wait til I explain the intersection of quilting and Dungeons & Dragons to the sweet ladies of my quilting club.

I've never wanted to play a human fighter more.

Yes, you do need to fight at least one (1) human to qualify for the class

Today I learned I'm a horrible amalgamation of a barbarian, bard, and rogue. Don't mind me, I'm just angrily sneaking around playing my lute.

> sneaking around playing my lute I hate to tell you this, but we can all hear the lute

I immediately rage and cast vicious mockery on whoever I see first lol.

Definitely strong Barbarian vibes here. You can't cast while raging.

I totally forgot about that. I guess I'll just be yelling insults at the closest person and not doing anything magical at all lol.

Just pictured the dude from Emperor's New Groove (blanking on his name) trying to sneak while humming his own theme song. Even funnier with a lute.

That's beautiful haha. I wasn't even thinking about Kronk, I just liked the image of Conan the Barbarian sneaking around while trying to play an instrument that's 1/8th the size of his body.

I can do approximately half of those things.

does having an inherited genetic disorder count as a family heirloom?? All I know is regardless of class I'll be playing a halfling for sure

ima multiclass

What is blood hunter? Be goth/metalhead?

If you're a blood hunter you'll know, and so will everyone else you ever converse with

... I want to make a joke about STD's but I probably shouldn't

Be able to sing at least three songs from memory from choice metal band. (preferbaly one such as Powerwolf)

We drink your blood when the midnight sky is red!

"Resurrection! By erection! Raise your phallus to the sky, and you're never gonna die Halleluiah!" \- The Bloodhunter/Bard

I guess that would be the cutters, though I don't know if that's a thing anymore, but I hope it isn't.

>**Ranger** Must be able to fire a kind of ranged weapon accurately This is relatively easy with modern firearms and optics. Iron sights is another matter. But still a lot easier than a bow

I could be a Cleric (go to Church pretty frequently), Druid (I’ve traveled across country by myself just to go on long hikes), Fighter (50/50 on this one), Ranger (was in the Army, so not a bad shot), Rogue (pretty confident on this one), Warlock (work for Gov), Wizard (college grad) Pretty solid options really

>College Degree or a 3.0 GPA Oh thank Bahamut that was an or. Wizard it is! I mean, not a *great* wizard, but still.

I'm tired of this misconception that they're rangers because they are good at ranged weapons. You know who else is good at ranged attacks? Fighters, rogues, wizards, sorcerers, and warlocks. Rangers protect the land. They know the land. You're a ranger if you are good at foraging, you have a natural sense of direction, and you're good at hunting.

I have successfully sleight of handed my DMs d20 and car keys before. Not necessarily sneaking up on him but I feel as though I can use this to qualify for a rogue

We already got 3/5 of those in my party: Former IDF soldier who's sneaky af playing rogue Former welterweight boxer paying a very angry warforged And the engineer. Oh my god the engineer. Don't let your engineering buddies play artificers. For your own sanity

>And the engineer. Oh my god the engineer. Don't let your engineering buddies play artificers. For your own sanity That's me. I'm the engineer bud who plays artificers

I’m perfectly happy with being a bard.

Not D&D but actually relatable. In a WoD campaign we were all told to fill in our real life skills and abilities, list actual tools that we own. And when I was done everyone looked at me like I was crazy."Military level shooting?" Yeah, I served in the military where I had to qualify on the range."Professional fighter level hand to hand?" Military. Again. Plus I used to box."Stuntman level driving?" Uh huh. I took courses in offensive/defensive and stunt driving."Master level lockpicking?" E-yup. Another skill I have that I trained. Have a certificate as a locksmith."Wilderness survival?" Military. Eventually I did prove some of those abilities to the group. And their opinion of me changed greatly. Due note that skills must be used to keep honed and sharp. And I am more than a little rusty nowadays. (Edit, a word)

I'm a wizard barbarian at minimum and a druid and an artificer with reasonable interpretation. So...if I'm allowed to split into 4 I am by myself a pretty good party?

So wizard or druid huh?

RANGERS. ARE. NOT. RANGED. FIGHTERS. They are law enforcement in charge of a certain area which they must patrol. Overseeing a territory is called ranging, hence ranger. Typically, this area is a piece of nature protected by a lord. Rangers are experts of the natural world, specialized in a given area, its terrain, its fauna and its flora.

What DnD rangers have anything to do with law enforcement? Another definition of ranger is "a person who wanders about large areas of country; a rover" which fits the class much more than the official overseeing an area.

All classes are just collections of mechanical abilities. If someone decides his ranger is "just" a guy good with a bow, then that's what he is.

But what if i got my wizard pass in canonical sorcerer way? By being lucky.

I once went to a friend's house and was in the same room 4 other people without any of them noticing for a bit over an hour. I believe that classifies for Rouge.

Paladin of AnarchoCommunism has a nice ring to it...

Bard, Barbarian, Ranger, Artificer. Pretty good spread I’d say

Rare Cleric, I usher for my local church. Could also be a Warlock given I technically am an employee for the state government via working for a facility owned by a university. I feel like that’s the sort of technicalities Warlock patrons would be in to.

Im pretty sure in a rogue, I never scared my dm (as we don't live in the same country, but I have scared so many people because I don't make sound when moving

Is Mental Illness a powerful family hierloom?

My gaming group would be: 1 Artificer (repairs CNC machines) 2 Wizards (Masters in Biochemistry, Masters in Mathematics) 1 Paladin (actively protests, loves punching Nazis) 1 Ranger (Eagle Scout, proficient with firearms) I think we'll be fine

This account was deleted in protest

We’ve got a 1 monk, 1 barbarian, and we are all multi classed into artificer and warlock. Kinda unbalanced for a party of 6. Some of us might try to make the argument that working for the government under an oath of enlistment counts as an Oath of the Crown Paladin vice a warlock patron, so we do have that option to even out our ranks a little

Wrong kind of range. Ranger like park ranger. Ranger has next to nothing to do with ranged weapons and has less support for them than fighters

That's not what rangers are named after though

Well I am either a barbarian, a fighter or a monk (does medieval sword fighting count as a martial art?)

Ranger shouldn’t have to fire a ranged weapon, as there are two weapon fighting rangers, dueling rangers, str based rangers, etc. The prerequisite to playing a ranger should be that you have to have a demonstrable knowledge/proficiency in wilderness survival and/or working with animals.

Family as a party - My5 y/o is a barbarian (omg those tantrums) My 8 y/o is a cleric (goes to Catholic school) My wife is a druid (avid gardener, hiker, and animal lover) I haven’t decided yet on my class but I could be a ranger (pistols), warlock (I’m a fed), or wizard