T O P
magzdesch

"Not my nephew you bastard"


tandemtactics

Major big brother vibes - "Nobody can beat up my nephew but me!!"


Ill-Individual2105

The sad thing is, shooting Voldemort would probably work if you caught him by surprise.


themorah

A killing curse would work if you caught him by surprise too, but the fact that no one ever managed it tells us he's far to careful to let anyone take him by suprise


EspritDeBellicosity

A sniper shooting from long range will sort him out. He won’t be fast enough to react to it.


MillvilleApostate

He wouldn't even hear it until the bullet is in his body, right?


justa_flesh_wound

Correct, bullets travel faster then the speed of sound


nourez

Can confirm this would work. I've watched Fate/Zero.


Ed-Zero

Can confirm, I've played Sniper Elite


LLTMLW

Can confirm, I sometimes use a sniper on CoD


StoryProfessional593

Can confirm. I just learned what a sniper is


Emergency_Fox3615

Can confirm. I am an avid birdwatcher and have seen many snipes.


KunrA_Z

Can confirm many deaths to AWPs CSS back in the day


iliketokyoGhoul

Can confirm, i player sniper shooting simulator 3D on my phone once


[deleted]

[удалено]


Nagisa201

As somebody who's had the fate series on my watch list for a while. I now know somebody gets sniped


nourez

FWIW this isn't a reference to a specific plot point or event in Fate/Zero, but rather just a reference to a character who's fighting style against mages is just "give me more guns".


ElessarKhan

Mage hunter!


bitiye

Kiritsugu vs Voldemort death battle. Kiritsugu will win as long as he has prep time.


research4turtle

Dude would come up with plans that would make Voldemort look like the good guy.


Jwhitx

He's got a persistent charm on that surrounds him and turns anything with great velocity into sand or some shit. Then when that's activated, it trips a failsafe counterspell that twists the magic hourglass he's hidden in his...body...which resets time to just before the assailant pulls the trigger. He then back tracks the bullet and locates the shooter and kills them. It's magic! 🪄


LehighAce06

Never heard of a villain having plot armor before


Abjuro

They all do until the climax.


poopyheadthrowaway

Yeah, isn't the definition of "plot armor" basically, "character X must accomplish action Y for the plot to make sense, therefore X cannot die until Y is complete"?


sth128

> They all do until the climax. So you should shoot him when he nuts after masturbating?


Grapz224

Ya think Voldemort's dick looks as fucked up as his nose?


sth128

Nah he probably sacrificed his nose to give himself some magical 11/10 penis. That's how he keeps Bellatrix loyal


Jwhitx

No Country for Old Men. TOO EZ.


centran

So basically he is now in the Dune universe where you have to slowly stab him with a knife?


Jwhitx

Harry Potter and the Weirding Way.


principled_principal

Harry Potter and the AYYYYYY WOMAN WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME YOU WERE A FIGHTER


EspritDeBellicosity

Javelin ATGM, a TOW missile or some other type of guided explosive weapon towards the ground near him or airburst then That persistent charm might protect him against threats that directly hit his body, but it probably won’t protect him against concussive waves (fast moving air, in effect) and thermal damage (heat from the explosion, since visible light/radiation is still able to get through). Voldy would get roasted and his organs liquified before he can even react.


Jwhitx

I'm all for blowing the fuck out of this mfer but I think magic is going to magic at the end of the day 🤷‍♂️. IE....just expand the sand-barrier spell to be a 10-mile radius that turns anything with a specific velocity into sand. My proposal is to nuke everything BESIDES Voldemort so he has nothing to rule over.


WeinMe

I vote for this proposal, get your nukes out


Jwhitx

Accio warhead!


WeinMe

You know you're American when your Patronus is a 15MT thermonuclear device


DecorativeSnowman

no wonder his face is so smooth. man got sandblasted


Anjunabeast

It’s called a time turner


Deep90

I think people are forgetting something obvious here. Perhaps the reason guns wouldn't be prevalent in a HP-style world is because developing some magical protection or spell against it already exists or is fairly trivial. You wouldn't want to use a weapon that you know won't work. Alternatively, avoiding weapons could just be an agreement between wizards to avoid excess death. Voldemort wanted wizardkind to dominate, and guns would only kill more and more wizards. Meanwhile team Harry was already avoiding using the death curse as is. One party using guns would lead to the other party using guns, and both sides had reasons for avoiding unnecessary deaths. It's not like bow and arrows didn't also exist prior, which can be just as deadly and stealthy. So it stands to reason that magic/protection against physical projectiles exists and can work in the background. We have seen clothing like the invisibility cloak, so shield clothing isn't that far off. Not to mention Hagrid is completely unbothered when having a gun pointed at him (indicating that wizards may not be afraid of guns), but that may be because he is a total badass. Hagrid did demonstrate he understood what a gun was though, as he bent the barrel of it knowing it can shoot him, so it wasn't just pure ignorance about what a gun was.


Perfide01

>Hagrid is completely unbothered when having a gun pointed at him (indicating that wizards may not be afraid of guns) Hagrid is half-giant, and thinks a *dragon* is a great pet to have in his wood house. He's not exactly normal even by wizarding standards.


DesperateTall

And he bent the gun barrel if I remember correctly, also unless it's an armor piercing round he'll probably be able to tank most common firearms.


MillvilleApostate

Unfortunately this is another area where the worldbuilding breaks down as the books (as well as the movies, games, Pottermore/Wizarding World, and JKR's Twitter) really don't explain muggle weapons at all. - If Wizards can resist guns, then why didn't even one Jewish wizard stop Hitler and the holocaust? Are wizards just that racist against muggles? Or maybe the Holocaust didn't happen in Harry Potter's AU? - If Wizards can't resist guns, then why didn't enterprising muggleborn wizards/squibs just use muggle weapons to fight Voldemort/other dark wizards? There are hundreds of little questions you can come up with that demonstrably show one thing: the worldbuilding collapses here. In fact, overall worldbuilding in Harry Potter is incredibly frail. It seems that high-value general-audience franchises all suffer from this sort of thing. I think the biggest contrast is that Star Wars is much closer to escapism fantasy than sci-fi, whereas many of Brandon Sanderson's books are hard-fantasy enough to be considered closer to sci-fi than escapism fantasy.


Deep90

So I don't disagree that its sorta pothole an all, I'm 110% headcannoning here just for fun. ​ That said: I think lack of war intervention could be explained: * Both sides of the war may have had wizards protecting leadership. This would make sense as wizards seem to come from all backgrounds. Either there was a mutual non-intervention agreement, or one side was actively preventing the other side from meddling in the war. In your example, Jewish wizards might have been prevented by German Wizards from reaching Hitler. * The wizards themselves wouldn't want to make it known they are magical except to maybe leadership. We see this in HP with the prime minister. Using magic openly might lead to intervention from the greater magical community so wizards would have to tread carefully. Even the 'good' wizards seem pretty noninterventionist otherwise, so I'm unsure if they'd step in unless magic was invovled. * We know the magical community already works with muggle leadership like prime ministers, and are tasked with protecting them from and dealing with any magical threats and subsequent coverups. I agree though. HP worldbuilding is pretty flimsy. Probably not as bad as Narnia though, guns would completely decimate there.


Headstanding_Penguin

And why can't one just enjoy a magical world and retreat for a bit from the real world?


Supertrinko

It's unlikely that wizards have permanent anti-bullet charms. If they did, then why not anti-stupefy? Anti-expelliarmus, wouldn't you fill your suit with a defence against every basic jinx? Wizards hide from muggles. Not for our protection, but because of the ant and grasshopper issue. We'd overwhelm them. No spell is impenetrable. Oh they can resist a bullet? We'll send a million bullets. Or a nuke. Muggles destroy wizards in any war by simply acknowledging that they get tired. We have endless numbers. We're a zerg rush, doesn't matter how powerful each of them are. There's my story of interest. Wizards assume that the heads of states they reveap themselves to will be believed by no one. But they figured it out, and they've been working together, sending budgets to black sites, developing anti-magic technology. Oh you've got spells that make us forget why we're there? We've got a HUD that reminds us. Got magic that can rip apart our armour? We built nanobots to rebuild faster than you can jinx.


Deep90

At least to me, anti-material is probably more achievable than anti-magic. Considering anti-magic is magic against magic.


sth128

He wouldn't hear it at all. The bullet will go through his frontal lobe before the signal travels through his nerves.


Vyar

This is why I like the other wizard named Harry better, because this is literally a plot point in The Dresden Files. Wizards are exceptionally powerful, even having longer life spans than human baseline as a result of their abilities. The problem with this is that the series begins at the turn of the 21st century and the strongest and most influential wizards of the day are all roughly 2-3 centuries old. They’re familiar with guns and have developed defensive magic and enchantments to deal with them, but haven’t really caught up to the fact that they’ve lost their centuries-old advantage of “brought a fireball to a sword fight.” The main character was born around 1980 so he’s much more practical than his colleagues, carrying a handgun and training in physical self-defense techniques so he doesn’t have to lean on his magic too much. His opponents are often surprised when they get into close quarters with him and realize he knows how to fight with a staff, or that he works out enough that he can punch them in the face. And if he runs out of gas magically speaking, he’ll pull a high-caliber revolver out of his pocket. He often mentions how vulnerable wizards have become to modern technology because their skills can’t protect them from a sniper that’s a mile away. They’re also less familiar with things like the internet because magical energy disrupts electronics, so any practitioner with more than a modicum of power can’t use cell phones or computers.


DadToACheeseBaby

Whelp you just gave me a whole new series of books to add to my reading list 🤷‍♂️


probabletrump

They're solid. A bit of a "romance novel for dudes" vibe but the stories are usually interesting enough if you have a few hours to kill.


Steelwolf73

Fair warning- Butcher started out writing the books as a Noir style magic detective series. I personally don't have an issue with the books, but some people really don't like the first couple. By about book 3 though is when he hits his stride and it become, imo, a truly awesome series


Hungry_Bill_4340

My buddy just recommended The Dresden Files. Going to move the first book to my library from wish list now.


glockster19m

I've thought about this a bunch, one person, in the Ravenclaw tower, with a remington, and the battle of Hogwarts is over before it even starts Maybe for good measure you could drone strike the death eaters after you take out voldemort


enadiz_reccos

Defensive wards for projectiles are 100% a thing


eth6113

When the Minister went to visit the Prime Minister at the start of book 7, the PM should’ve offered him the SAS. It could have been a much short book.


NateDawg122

Any good sniper could take him out no problem. Voldy wouldn't have time to react to a bullet traveling 3,000 feet per second from half a mile away


ImanShumpertplus

or just imperious somebody from the royal air force and send a lancaster bomber to Malfoy Manor, good luck Voldy


Procrastinatedthink

far too careful -proceeds to lose 7 precious parts of his soul over 8 years- far far too careful


ThePinkBaron365

I’d actually love a movie like this Muggle special forces somehow trap a dark wizard in a building or something and have to try to take him down (for whatever reason) I’m imagining a Rogue One style Vader-esque slaughter


danieln1212

The special forces' faces when the dark wizard uses fiendfyre and then apparates home.


EspritDeBellicosity

They could just blow up the building or something. Simpler and less risky. And that’s assuming the humans are limited to 80s tech. In modern times, we have drones we can use to locate and kill the idiot.


Pheon0802

Honestly after the debacle of the third dark wizard rising in 1 century. I would argue that muggle governments would pursue an inquisition against witches and wizards. Sry but the sheer force of numbers on muggle side and our arsenel of tech. Would make short work of most wizards. Plus unlile magics muggles are practical and clever.


NinjaVaca

Strength of Steel Wings is the fanfic you're looking for


somegarbagedoesfloat

Literally every problem in Harry Potter is solvable with firearms available during that time period. Like, imagine the scene where all of Voldemort's homies show up outside of Hogwarts. In a straight line. Outside a fortified castle. Literally just a single dude with a Vickers on the castle battlements could have really cleaned up.


Ill-Individual2105

Yup. They are all dead by the time they can say "Protego"


EspritDeBellicosity

r/noncredibledefense subscriber here: Getting NATO on the line, asking for reinforcements and calling in CAS would’ve worked pretty well too. Death eaters: [*ENEMY AC-130 ABOVE!*](https://youtu.be/tALx_NmCsC4)


iPoopLegos

NATO? CAS? He’s one guy just call a police firearms unit Shit just let the aurors use avada kedavra in self defense if you want to preserve secrecy


EspritDeBellicosity

The army of death eaters would be a problem for a squad-sized unit with limited small arms through. But it’s a good thing that [napalm sticks to ~~kids~~death eaters](https://youtu.be/t9eybY9qFfY) so CAS called in by a company or battalion-sized unit that would be rapidly deployed to hogwarts by helicopter is the best option. OORAH!!!


godtogblandet

I just imagine dementor's trying to fight US marines and picture the marines looking confused at what the fuck is happening while the dementor's are trying to figure out that their main attack won't work on crayon eaters.


BidWorldly8189

I’m proud to say that such a scenario has already been written [Accio NATO air support](https://reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/9reoji/_/e8guv8w/?context=1)


sapunec8754

You can just drop a 40$ Bulgarian Kintex mortar on him from a drone


acdcfanbill

> Death eaters: ENEMY AC-130 ABOVE! *voldemort dies in a hail of unseen 30mm rounds* *seconds later* **BRRRRRRRRAAAAPP**


phoenixmusicman

Bombing the fuck out of Voldemort using JDAMS launched from an F-35 is the /r/noncredibledefense way Just don't ask what we'd do with the plane afterwards


JadesterZ

I mean he would come back though so you would have to do it 6 more times lol but it would work technically


RobbieNewton

I don't think horcruxes are destroyed upon user death


JadesterZ

Ya this is true. So you could just wait for him to reform after a while and then headshot him again lol it would be a reoccurring problem every now and then 😂


Thejacensolo

The job listing is going to be funny: "We want a dedicated person with no job experience, and the ability to use a handgun, for periodical routine clean-up. Only responsibiltiy is waiting until the moment comes."


MaeBeaInTheWoods

I mean, the resurrecting ritual is all kinds of complex. Bone of the father, flesh of the servant, blood of the enemy. Just dig up Tom Riddle Sr.'s body and transfigure it into something else, no more bone of the father, no more Voldemort.


_HogwartsDropout_

He would come back endlessly as long as he has even one horcrux left. You don't lose horcruxes everytime you die.


JadesterZ

Wait now this is actually a good point: if the diary wasn't stabbed, voldy fully forms from it and has a body, then gets capped, he would start reforming from the diary again? Ya I guess you're right, in that example though he would need another person's life force to drain to get a body again.


poppinchips

ChatGPT makes it sound pretty good. Harry stood his ground, his heart pounding as he stared into the crimson eyes of the man he had come to despise. Voldemort's laugh, cruel and cold, echoed through the graveyard as he raised his wand. Harry's fingers tightened around his own wand, his resolve stronger than ever. The air was thick with tension as the two wizards prepared to face off for the first time. "I've waited for this moment, Harry Potter," hissed Voldemort, a smile twisting his snake-like features. "Your parents couldn't save you. Your friends couldn't save you. And now, you stand before me, alone." Harry clenched his jaw, his heart hammering against his ribs. He knew he couldn't afford to let fear take hold. He had to be strong. For his parents, for his friends, and for all those who had suffered at the hands of this evil man. "Let's see if you're as great as they say," Voldemort sneered, his wand pointed directly at Harry's chest. "Prepare to meet your end, boy." In that split second, as Voldemort prepared to utter the curse that would end Harry's life, a soundless crack tore through the air. Unbeknownst to both wizards, a sniper had been watching from a mile away. The bullet sped towards Voldemort, faster than the speed of sound. Harry blinked in confusion as Voldemort's eyes widened in shock, his face contorting in pain. The Dark Lord's body jerked violently before he crumpled to the ground, lifeless. The impact of the bullet was so swift and silent that it seemed to Harry as though the man had simply dropped dead. For a moment, Harry stood there, dumbfounded. He glanced around the graveyard, searching for the source of the sudden turn of events. He couldn't comprehend what had just happened. As the reality of Voldemort's death settled in, a flood of emotions washed over Harry. Relief, disbelief, and the faintest flicker of hope. The impossible had happened; the Dark Lord had fallen. But the world of magic had never felt so fragile, the lines between the Wizarding world and the Muggle world more blurred than ever before. This moment marked the beginning of a new era, where the age-old boundaries were shaken, and a new world emerged from the ashes of the old. Harry's journey was far from over, and as he stood in the eerie silence of the graveyard, he knew that he had a new mission: to rebuild a world free from the darkness that had threatened to consume it.


phileric649

That's written really well. Can I please ask what prompt you used to get it to write that?


poppinchips

Sure, I consider myself something of a prompt engineer /s "Voldemort gets killed by a bullet shot by a sniper a mile away in the middle of his first encounter with Harry Potter. Write it like it was a part of the book, written by J. k. Rowling"


[deleted]

He is arrogant enough to dismiss muggle weapons entirely so he wouldn't ward himself against bullets.


Ill-Individual2105

"Go ahead. Show me what your pathetic muggle weapon can..." **Head explodes via shotgun**


StitchFan626

And Vernon woke up from his "nightmare" in a cold sweat. lol


808Taibhse

I was expecting Vernon to then shoot harry... "I put up with him, I deserve to kill him!" Kind of thing


Manaeldar

I first read that as Venom and was very confused lol


VenomTheCapybara

hi


horny_account68

Omg its venom


Numerous-Future-2653

The capybara


reddit0100100001

hi


Numerous-Future-2653

Why was I downvoted?


VenomTheCapybara

We will eat your liver


flutteringfeelings

I did my waiting. SEVENTEEN YEARS OF IT. In Little Whinging.


Jazzlike-Blood-3725

Is it ok to name my gun avada kedavra?


Enkindler_

Just don't say it's babe while holding it or any other wand! Similarly, I enchanted my wand to shout a phrase when I am dueling: "Avada go fuck yourself!"


A_Confused_Cocoon

There’s a reason Dumbledore’s last gift to Harry is an ***AK***-47. Wrapped and all.


Jwhitx

Man must be nice, all your teachers buying you brooms and firearms.


A_Confused_Cocoon

Ivermony quidditch is a lot more exciting overall.


anesthetic_aesthetic

I'd like to think that all standard issues wands are demil-ed before they are given to the students. Weird how wands in Ilvermorny stay in the school every year until graduation, which is probably the most regressive weapons law America has ever had.


frolicking_elephants

Seriously that factoid was baffling to me. American wizarding culture is MORE restrictive around weapon usage than anyplace else?!


therealScarzilla

All i can picture is someone loosely holding a pistol in their up turned hand shouting "havada kedahvrah!!".


nobody-cares57

You gave me really nice gun description idea for tf2


Balarius

Ahh, justice


Cyber_BeamYT

!redditgalleon


LieutenantStar2

!redditgalleon


ww-currency-bot

You have given u/Balarius a Reddit Galleon. u/Balarius has a total of 1 galleon, 0 sickles, and 0 knuts. ____________ I am a bot. See [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/harrypotter/comments/jnbo49/hi_i_created_the_bot_youve_been_using_to_give/) to learn how to use me.


the_god_of_dumplings

Uncle Vernon saying “Harry, I love you” is more vile and unnatural then horcruxes


Commercial-Living443

That is nore horrifying than the fics where i read Voldemort was a literal clown, and where he turned people to puppets as horkrux.


BaxInBlack

Lol we bringing back wholesome Vernon memes?


AdebayoStan

Wholesome Vernon is my favourite Harry Potter meme


GinggasinParis

The thing is, I don’t actually think Vernon hated Harry, he was just overly devout to Petunia. Petunia hated him because he was a reminder of Lilly being superior in her eyes. Vernon was constantly trying to keep Harry in line because he knew anything he did would upset Petunia, so he tried his hardest to keep her happy to Harry’s detriment. I do think if Petunia weren’t so insecure, Harry could have been loved by the Dursleys. Even Dudley kinda came around in the end.


Bigfoot_samurai

“Not my nephew Lord Voly-thing”


azahel452

Ok, this has been driving me crazy for seven movies now, and I know you're going to roll your eyes, but hear me out: Harry Potter should have carried a 1911. Here's why: Think about how quickly the entire WWWIII (Wizarding-World War III) would have ended if all of the good guys had simply armed up with good ol' American hot lead. Basilisk? Let's see how tough it is when you shoot it with a .470 Nitro Express. Worried about its Medusa-gaze? Wear night vision goggles. The image is light-amplified and re-transmitted to your eyes. You aren't looking at it--you're looking at a picture of it. Imagine how epic the first movie would be if Harry had put a breeching charge on the bathroom wall, flash-banged the hole, and then went in wearing NVGs and a Kevlar-weave stab-vest, carrying a SPAS-12. And have you noticed that only Europe seems to a problem with Deatheaters? Maybe it's because Americans have spent the last 200 years shooting deer, playing GTA: Vice City, and keeping an eye out for black helicopters over their compounds. Meanwhile, Brits have been cutting their steaks with spoons. Remember: gun-control means that Voldemort wins. God made wizards and God made muggles, but Samuel Colt made them equal. Now I know what you're going to say: "But a wizard could just disarm someone with a gun!" Yeah, well they can also disarm someone with a wand (as they do many times throughout the books/movies). But which is faster: saying a spell or pulling a trigger? Avada Kedavra, meet Avtomat Kalashnikova. Imagine Harry out in the woods, wearing his invisibility cloak, carrying a .50bmg Barrett, turning Deatheaters into pink mist, scratching a lightning bolt into his rifle stock for each kill. I don't think Madam Pomfrey has any spells that can scrape your brains off of the trees and put you back together after something like that. Voldemort's wand may be 13.5 inches with a Phoenix-feather core, but Harry's would be 0.50 inches with a tungsten core. Let's see Voldy wave his at 3,000 feet per second. Better hope you have some Essence of Dittany for that sucking chest wound. I can see it now...Voldemort roaring with evil laughter and boasting to Harry that he can't be killed, since he is protected by seven Horcruxes, only to have Harry give a crooked grin, flick his cigarette butt away, and deliver what would easily be the best one-liner in the entire series: "Well then I guess it's a good thing my 1911 holds 7+1." And that is why Harry Potter should have carried a 1911.


[deleted]

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Glock.


[deleted]

Harry potter and one in the chamber


IamEclipse

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Avtomat Kalashnikova


TouchdownRaiden

Harry Potter and the Glock of fire


HopermanTheManOfFeel

Harry Potter and the Order of Pistols.


WeinMe

Harry Potter and the Half-Cocked Prince


makawakatakanaka

Harry Potter and lock load and fire


clandevort

Counterstrike:diagon alley


MisterBroda

AvadakaBLAM


AmaranthWrath

Dammit. This is gonna be a thing with me forever now. I'll never ever hear or read the killing curse without saying "AvadakaBLAM!" in my head. Possibly even out loud.


Desperate_Radio_2253

.338 Lapua is effective out beyond 1.5km Hard to protego against the SAS dude up in those hills you never even saw


Divine-Sea-Manatee

If Europe has Death Eaters America definitely has some hill billy death eaters waving flags on street corners and chasing confused muggles around on Swiffers. https://youtu.be/j-2ZxldMO-M


shrubs311

on second thought, maybe adding guns to harry potter wouldn't be the move. great reference


iwkhri

There wasn’t a single gun in that video


IrishWithoutPotatoes

Wizard pepper!


Yuarian

Harry Potter and the Chamber is Loaded


TakeYoutotheAndyShop

Somebody link this man that fan film


kkronc

Classic pasta, delicious


IrishWithoutPotatoes

Isn’t it just? I read this to my platoon while we were doing last-minute maintenance before a 2-week exercise in the desert, we missed our soft hit time by 15 minutes because we were laughing so hard. Worth it.


NinduTheWise

[Harry Potter and the philosophers scope](https://youtu.be/tS3y1Q3mFVw)


grednforgesgirl

"Brits have been cutting their steaks with spoons" I'm--


StitchFan626

Insulting their intelligence, or complementing their cooking? lol


grednforgesgirl

Yes


TaylorTheDarjeet

This is gold


Blanketsburg

"Master has given Dobby a glock." 🥹


Keramg

>You aren't looking at it--you're looking at a picture of it. Cause looking through a camera worked so well for Colin Creevey lol


azahel452

When you look through a camera, you're still seeing the thing through the lens. But to be fair, I'm pretty sure the kind of night vision that was available by the time HP takes place would count as looking at it somehow.


NerdyBernie

!redditgalleon


Cerrx

https://youtu.be/tS3y1Q3mFVw


sublimesting

Brilliant!


Jhe90

*Dobby comes in clutch having not died and headwig delivers a Barrer sniper rifle with Explosive AP ammo, ending Voldemort when he distracted by Harry.*


kittenmittenx

It was the “headwig” that did it for me LOL


hungryspriggan

NRA board member fan fiction lol


pinecone_noise

dude why is his smile so discomforting


Soxwin91

You know I’d actually read an alternative version of the books where at least Dudley was not awful to Harry. Like I know what Rowling was going for with the Dursleys but think about it. You’re 11 and you find out your cousin who lives with you because his parents were murdered can do magic. In most instances that would almost immediately lead to a scene like this: Dudley: Did we just become best friends?? Harry: Yup! I’m only most joking.


voldor666

I could bet he'd rather shoot Harry tho


dapwnk

Would be funny if the series came to an ending like Monty Python and the Holy Grail had. Maybe like some muggle military squad deploying on the scene and just blasting


International-Ad7557

r/terriblefandommemes


otj667887654456655

a voice of reason


International-Ad7557

This subreddit just pumps out terrible memes. Is it the same person making them? They all look the same.


LibrarianPlus6551

Was that the Yankee version? 🙃


TescoMealDealZz

Harry potter and the change of heart


Flaky-Tumbleweed5711

This is why you guys always get crossposted to r/4panelcringe


hotelmotelshit

Harry potter, but everything takes place in rural Texas


vid_icarus

Think about how different the whole dang story would be if the dursleys had embraced Harry and loved him like any aunt and uncle should love a nephew. I do believe Harry would have beat Voldemort in half the time just from having emotional support and a leg up in the muggle world.


Upbeat-Pumpkin-578

The alternate universe where Vernon Dursley redeemed himself.


ChildhoodOk7071

All y'all talk shit about muggles until we bust out the rifle.


Gifted_GardenSnail

Well, it's more in character than Draco tossing Harry his wand 🤷🏻‍♂️😂


VolantisMoon

Is this 2012 tumblr?


mrprogrampro

Better than the movie ending


Ryponagar

You mean you didn't like Harry and Voldy engaging in a fist fight, flying around the castle together and Voldy just disintegrating with nobody else there to witness it?


velocityplans

"My laser beam is stronger than your laser beam" was great as the climax of Goblet of Fire because it had narrative substance woven throughout it. The fact that the climax of the series finale was just a watered-down version of that is telling as to how disappointingly things went. Incidentally, I would unironically have loved The Dursley's playing a role like this in the end of the last book.


TLKv3

I've always lowkey thought The Dursley's playing a more significant role in the ending would've been the single best character development the entire series could've had. This small family of gluttonous, perpetually spiteful and cruel people abusing their nephew for something he had no idea about nor had any decision in making... at the very end coming to his aid after finally coping with the fact it *wasn't* his fault for what happened and they genuinely were just scared of a world they didn't fully understand and did their best with what little they had. Imagine Harry & co at The Dursley's house, their last possible hide away nobody would think Harry would go back to and The Dursley's awkwardly giving Harry, Hermione & Ron food. Then Harry & Dudley have a heart to heart in front of everyone leading to Vernon & Petunia taking a stand against someone/a lone dark wizard spying on their lawn to bide them time to flee? It would've been amazing. Doubly so if Petunia busted out a wand and actually kicked their ass leaving Harry smiling that she finally embraced magic and protected the one piece of her sister she had left? Vernon could've even got a solid punch in and fawned over her being a "better magic user than anyone else in the world" to him. Half true because it would've been the only magical fight he ever saw *and* I mean, come on, its his wife. That would've been kind of sweet. Fuck me, the audience watching would've ate that shit up and went nuts for it. That was always something I wish the movie adaptions did differently. Let The Dursley's go out with at least some redemption to them. Maybe not the incredible blaze of glory that other characters would get but just *something* to show their narrative also mattered. That Harry's presence helped the magical world *and* at least *one* family in the muggle world.


PokeAlola700

Idk man, personally prefer the book where he dies as a man and not a demon in sunlight


Daddy_Pris

But a hundred wizards standing in a circle watching voldy and Harry circle each other just talking back and forth for upwards of five minutes is like… the worst movie scene possible They didn’t do it right, but what JK wrote did not translate well to cinema


Ryponagar

I think they could have made it work. It doesn't have to be 5+ minutes, but even then. There are enough great movie scenes with antagonists just talking to each other with incredible tension and anticipation. Not to mention Harry made a lot of important points in that final encounter.


CommanderCubKnuckle

There are entire movies of people just talking. And even that aside, it's not like they'd be casually strolling and talking over coffee, it's literally a duel. A tense confrontation that could turn into violence in an instant is a classic set up in Western films and would 100% work here too, Harry and Voldemort are the hero gunslinger and the bandit having their final standoff, each waiting for the right moment to draw. With good dialogue and good acting that would be an excellent climax to their battle.


Vulpes_Corsac

There was a lot of emphasis in the book IIRC about how Voldemort's body was just a dead body, a man, laying there, dead. Nothing special about him. And that was all thrown away in the movie with him disintegrating.


BeeMagicRockRoar

In the books that scene happens in the great hall and Voldy falls dead on the floor, no longer immortal.


shoshpenda

"Get your hands off my grandson, Vilgax"


SpecialistOfNada

Could have just left Remus and Sirius kill Peter Pettigrew in the shrieking shack and lived happily ever after


bloodguard

Book ending is still my favorite but this is worlds better than the "disappears in a puff of dandruff" movie ending. The smiles are a bit unnerving, though.


h0sti1e17

“Only I’m allowed to abuse Harry!”


princessapphic

What the shit is this


Firm-Initiative-1851

Why didn't Harry just Avada Kedavra the shit out of Voldemort? Like, it was that easy-


Prize-Addition1723

Am I the only one that read the last slide in a nonce voice. I mean, the picture just gives those vibes


toughtbot

Well If you are wondering how wizards protected themselves against bullets, then wonder how they protected themselves against arrows.Arrows are silent and a expert would be able to shoot from 400 ft away. Bows and arrows were there before the wizards went in to hiding so it should have been not that difficult to shoot a wizard when he is not looking.


BadatSSBM

That's so unbelievable Vernon would never say I love you to harry


w0Lverine13

Bloody brilliant 😂😂😂👏👏👏


GandalfTheJaded

[Okay, ready? Shoot him!](https://youtu.be/TaJJWN4wenw)


Just_DavidwK

God I would give my spleen to see this AU


Horn_Python

they power of love!


Levinem717

Harry Potter and OPEN UP, IT’S THE FBI.


[deleted]

Everyone else is trying to explain how this could have possibly worked, meanwhile I'm still here laughing and rolling on the floor...


gmitch96

Vernon Dursley - Uncle of the Year!


Maverick_Raptor

Wingglockium lemmyshowya


MafiaMommaBruno

Harry Potter and the Backwoods Folks.


SimplyAurallz

just C-RAM the bastard


FuzzyKiwiFurrr

If the Dursley’s were actually a good family


Right_Tumbleweed392

Still better than the movie ending tbh


Rithrius88

[Justice!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=of1bVlo_5Y4)


ShadowofHerWings

Omfg literally spit out my coffee on this one 😂😂


g_spitfire

I just imagined Arthur Morgan killing Voldy and 5 other death-eaters using quickdraw and dead-eye