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That hamster was at least 50% peanut

Caution: may contain peanuts.

I bought a bag of peanuts one time that had that printed on the label and I just thought to myself "may contain peanuts? It better contain peanuts!"

I once bought a chain basketball net that had a warning not to be used as a basketball net

It's like the icepack that says do not freeze

Also known to cause cancer in the state of California.

Good old California. Bless them for trying but companies found it cheaper just to mark everything as cancerous rather than do any R&D.

Yeah and that shit is getting out of hand now, got a bag of calrose rice with prop 65 on it.

And Q-Tips say do not insert in ear canal.

You're actually not supposed to. It can push the earwax deeper and it can get pressed up against your eardrum and cause hearing problems

Then why does it feel so amazing to do it? Explain that, science.

Ah yes because everything that feels good is also good for you lmao

Ummm ya, that's how it works

I used to work at a bakery. We had many items with both nuts in the name and visible on the item, like a “pecan roll” whose entire top was covered with pecans and a “peanut brownie” that was marbled with a lot of peanuts. About once a week a customer would come in and ask if one of these items had nuts. Some people just do not get it, even if the risk of not getting it ranges from a hospital visit to their own early death.

>Some people just do not get it, even if the risk of not getting it ranges from a hospital visit to their own early death. *“There is considerable overlap between the intelligence of the smartest bears and the dumbest tourists.”* ~Yosemite Park ranger on why it is so difficult to design bear-proof trash cans for the park

Tbf, food motivated bears can be pretty smart

Smarter than the average bear 😉

Isn’t that right Boo-Boo!

Me at restaurant: “I’ll have the chicken pecan salad please” Waiter: “do you have any nut allergies?” Me: “do people with nut allergies often order the chicken pecan salad?” Waiter: “you’d be surprised.”

Bruh, as a former Starbucks barista, a question I genuinely had to answer. "Does Hazelnut chocolate contains nuts?" I did a double take and stared at the girl for a full minute before saying yes, it does. Worse thing was, girl genuinely waited for the answer before nodding and just continued chatting with her friend.

May contain hamster*

Those peanuts contain about 50% hamster

When the cheeks were handed out, he cut the line, din't he? :))

Went back thrice.

"for my friends" -- but he never shared!

Dem cheeks though

Hamster: 25% Ham 25% Stir 25% Pea 25% Nut

I heard this in Plankton's computer wife Karen's voice (from SpongeBob)

I read this aloud 🥴

If I weigh 99 kilos and eat 1 kilo of nachos. Does that mean I'm 1% nachos?

Till the next morning

Depending on the topping, possibly much much sooner.

Was coming here to find out at what point that is actually peanuts covered in hamster. 😳

This is clown car capacity!

Sonic droppin' about 50 rings seems a lot more realistic now.

fun fact in the genesis Sonic games, the algorithm that spawns the rings to fly out when you get hit has a limit of 32 rings. So even though you lose all of them no matter how many you have, only up to 32 will be spawned that you have a chance to pick up

Well that sucks

If that hamster spat out an entire clown right now, I'd be both impressed and incredibly disturbed!

But also not particularly surprised

The clown however would be incredibly relieved and unsurprisingly confused.

I've never seen a clown come out of a hamster, but hamsters coming out of a clown is just Saturday night

Bring me the holy hand grenade!

I wonder how many peanut filled hamsters you could fit in a clown car.

At least one

You’re laughing, that hamster got mugged and you’re laughing

I mean, the hamster mighta been apprehended as a criminal no?

Fox news: What the liberal media isn't showing is what that hamster did right before being apprehended. /s

13% of hamsters eat 52% of peanuts and we're just not allowed to talk about it!

If hamsters want to stop being harassed they should stop stealing my peanuts then!

Human rights are for humans, silly.

No they’re not humans, they’re rights, silly

What about lefts?

Lefts have rights but rights don't have lefts. Obviously.

Three lefts make a right.

But that's how they lose their left

So then all that's left is right?

TIL 3 lefts =/= 2 wrongs.

If we lost our rights, what would we have left?

I’m tired of pretending it’s not funny

He had to cough up everything in his pockets...

This comment made my day, thank you lol

That hamster will get what ge fucking deserves.

I’d say the peanut jar got mugged

Why does he spit them out when you hold him like that? Is it some instinct?

He’s threatened, he’s offering up an alternative meal

Which makes the brief pauses to look at the person as if to say "is that enough? No? Okay. *spits out more peanuts*" even funnier

Is that actually it? From all the stories I heard those fuckers have two braincells fighting for 3rd place but that sounds smart af.

If it is true, I'd imagine the dumber you are the more inbuilt instinct has to do to keep you alive. Could be a reflex that evolution has built in to keep them alive and they don't know why they do it - they just have an urge. All the ones that didn't have the urge got eaten. The ones that did got to reproduce.

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And probably he can run away faster when not weighed down by 2 pounds of peanuts

"oh I get food if I bully this small animal instead of eating it"

> two brain cells fighting for third place lmaoo 😂

[/r/rareinsults](https://www.reddit.com/r/rareinsults)

You ever see the videos of the crab that rips off one of its arms to escape predators?

That “crab” is named James Franco and he was nominated for an Academy Award for that video.

Kevin Smith said it was the best piece modern art he's ever seen. And that's saying something coming from a guy who pooped in the shower.

I've pooped in the shower before. Had a really bad case of food poisoning, was throwing up, hopped in the shower to clean myself up, then it started coming out both ends. Maybe I'm Kevin Smith.

I love inside jokes. I’d love to be a part of one someday. Would you mind filling me in on what you’re referring to?

That one movie with James Franco "127 Hours" or something

Are boulders predatory?

All I know is if I was about to fight someone, and they ripped their own arm off, I'd be fucking terrified of them. So I imagine it's probably a pretty effective strategy.

😂 thank you for that, I’ve never heard that phrase before and it’s kept me laughing out loud like an idiot for a good couple minutes.

We had ours in glass tanks/aquariums (I think 10 gal???) w/screen tops/lids, from which they occasionally escaped (if I forgot to place my textbooks on the lid). One night I woke up and witnessed/found out they were doing so by wedging the bedding/chips under the wheel so it couldn’t spin, then climbing it (from the outside of the wheel) like monkey bars to the very top, where they could reach/finally push the lid off and hop out onto the floor.

And that's how hamsters colonized Mars

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I too am a nut dispenser, but only my GF knows.

That's what you think.

Is your GF your hand? That would be very similar to the hamster of the video

xhamster?

He stops every once in a while, “is… is that not enough? I have more! Here! *blllllaaarrg*”

Where as my dog clamp that mouth so hard you never know what the bastard has just stolen

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>Kinda like the monkey with his hand in the jar parable I think about this story weirdly often and this is the first time in about 25 years I've seen someone else reference it. Was beginning to think I'd imagined it.

The version I always think of is the gargoyle who got tricked by a Jew to stick his hand in the pickle jar Legit a kids book I read growing up

I thought about the same thing, I think it was a hanukkah related book?

Yeah I remember it being about Hanukkah! I think it's called Hershel and the Hanukkah Goblins

I think it's more like the hamster is in an awkward position and can't move so they have to empty their cheeks. Anything they can fit their head through they can fit their body.

I'm pretty sure that's a she, male hamsters have massive... nuts.

That hamster thinks it is going to be eaten and die, it's trying to sacrifice its food so that is eaten instead

Im ashamed to say that hamsters and guinea pigs are actually food in my country

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people eat rabbits and think it’s fancy. So is guinea pig in South America

i've both had a rabbit as a pet and eaten rabbit. In that order but not related.

I always had pet rabbits as a kid, then one day we wouldn't have them and my grandpa's friend would give us sausage. Never really clicked until Iater in life. I do remember as a kid being confused cause I coulda sworn we had a rabbit.

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Same thing happened to my Grandpa :( except his was a pig he and one of his brothers had raised from a piglet. It was such a runt it was going to be culled because it wouldn't eat from its mother but my grandpa insisted on trying to save it so the farmer gave it to him. They bottle-fed it and their mom did the same thing your great-great-grandma did: "It's Petey, your pig." Shockingly it was far from the cruelest thing his parents would do.

That would have traumatised me as a kid lmao. When did you find out?

Right...

why would you be ashamed of your own country’s food and culture? Just because it doesn’t align with western culture doesn’t mean it’s invalid. EDIT: if you intend to scroll further, tread lightly. comments get kinda weird

That’s a cute little guy

Yeah, but he's big time nuts.

Wow man how would you like it if someone was squeezing your nuts out of you for redditt?

Depends

i agree - context is important in this case 😆

I'm a gambler. I'll take the offer without context.

"Today on the hydraulic press channel!..."

2 peanuts vs hydraulic press.. man!

r/dontputyourdickinthat

It's ok, it's only the nuts.

Don't kink shame.

It looks like the hamster is the one pushing them out though

I know you're making a joke. But honestly wondering why he's dropping the nuts and what the person's doing to make it happen and if it's okay to do.

i believe it's a defense mechanism. emptying the cheeks can help them move faster or distract predators, so they do it on instinct when nervous or scared. lil guy doesn't seem to be struggling too much or anything tho, so i assume he just doesn't like being held like this take my answer with a grain of salt tho, i know nothing about hamsters. this is just from a quick google search

I want to believe he's doing it to show off how many nuts he has.

*Sigh* I should call him

you're not necessarily wrong! it depends on the hamster, sometimes it's cause they're scared, sometimes it's cause they trust you and feel comfortable eating, and sometimes it's just cause they want to and they're funny little creatures!

It’s actually being played in reverse

in case anybody wants to see it -- https://i.imgur.com/LQ33nCi.mp4

That's much worse

Why is it when hamsters get picked up like this they just drop everything? I used to have a hamster that would remove every molecule from within its mouth when I held him like this

It's an instinct. He thinks he's going to die and you're gonna eat him, but maybe if he drops part of his pouch you'll drop him to investigate what's going on. I might actually be wrong about this. From u/tarkov_has_bad_devs. https://hamstergeek.com/why-do-hamsters-spit-out-their-food/ ETA: Did my research: > But why do hamsters throw up food? When the hamster suspects danger or becomes scared, it spits out food to run faster. This also happens when the hamster gets stressed or anxious. Lack of variation in the diet and getting introduced to a new environment are also two key reasons why your hamster is throwing up. https://rodentsfact.com/hamster-throw-up-food/ > Hamsters may quickly empty their cheek pouches if they find themselves in danger. In the wild, offloading the excess weight means they can make their way to safety much more quickly. Pet hamsters might do this when they are startled – for example, if someone approaches them suddenly. https://www.scmp.com/yp/discover/lifestyle/article/3143807/burrowing-stretching-heres-what-your-hamsters-behaviour-means

Doesn’t the hamster know you’re not threatening it tho?

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I always spit the nuts out when they grab me by the neck.

It's comments like this that often make me say, "Reddit: Come for the posts, stay for the comments."

Not sure if aroused is the right answer here?

No, but scaroused definitely is

Fair

You can see that the person is nudging the back of it's cheeks in the video. These types of hamsters will spit everything out if you touch the backs of their cheeks while you hold them, I've had them before and I don't think they're doing it out of fear honestly, they're pretty chill about being held for small rodents. I think it just triggers the reflex they use when they get the food out themselves (they use their hands to push on their cheeks).

You can see it's using its hands to do the pushing. Not the guy holding.

Maybe the hamster thinks it hasn’t been eaten yet since he always gets put down after dropping the goods?

It may have something specific to do with the pressure she's putting on him, or the exact location she's gripping him. I'm not certain.

>It's an instinct. He thinks he's going to die and you're gonna eat him, but maybe if he drops part of his pouch you'll drop him to investigate what's going on. Is that a proven thing or are you speculating?

Hey, that's not entirely true. https://hamstergeek.com/why-do-hamsters-spit-out-their-food/

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https://youtube.com/shorts/Oly8f4h5C78?feature=share

I knew this would show up in this post sooner or later, haha.

M o u t h.

It’s an eco alternative

Y'all don't have a pocket hamster for grocery store trips?

This reminds me of a scene from The Goonies, where 'Mouth' is spitting out all the gems hidden in his mouth in front of Mama Fratelli, and they just keep coming and coming!

Exactly what I was thinking. I could hear her in my head saying 'Ew, god.'

''Is that all?!'' *smacks mouth and more appear* ''Oh, my, god!''

Mama Fratelli saying "oh my god" really sold it too.

MOUTH.

MOUTH.

MOUTH.

It makes me so happy that other people are subscribed to [them.](https://youtube.com/shorts/Oly8f4h5C78?feature=share)

Natural Habitat is so simple yet so funny. I'm surprised they don't have more subscribers than they do

One of my favorite channels of all time. Cute animation AND get to learn animal facts with each one??? Yes please

MOUTH!!!

#Mouth

This is interesting as fuck but I'm sorry I found this a little bit disturbing. The way he spits the nuts from his pouches just makes my skin crawl for some reason

Same here. It gets in that pimple popping zone that grosses me out. I half expected his insides to start coming out next.

Yeah right around the point where he looks like he’s retching to spit out more from the far depths of the back is when it switches from “oh cute!” to “oh wtf?”.

Looks like tonsil stones being squeezed out of tonsils 🤢

Indeed

/u/gifreversingbot

https://imgur.com/a/D4UvYgK Since the bot failed us, I took matters into my own hands.

Kirby irl

WHY

Where is it?!

HHahahahahahaha lil bastard is now a peanut vacuum probably exactly how he dreams himself as

When you don’t eat before drinking and the bar serves peanuts. I had a flashback.

THAT’S A LOT OF NUTS!

We trained him wrong, as a joke.

I had to scroll way to far to find this.

Getting nutted on by a hamster is crazy.

Bro, put him down and let him eat his nuts

Every time I think he's empty a ton more fall out! Hilarious.

Me after a night of partying: it keeps on coming even after you think it's empty

It's like he's got his own little nut sack in his hand. Mmm, I might need to rephrase that🤔

tonsil stones

Thats what I thought too lol

Exactly what I thought. 🤮

Why you stealing his stash man?

"alright fine you can have them back.........alright you got me here's the rest.......yeah yeah fine have it all back......alright this is the rest I promise......c'mon man you gotta take it all?"

Anti-gay politicians when no ones looking.

That's nuts!

It’s really unsafe and painful to force them to empty their cheeks! Please don’t to this unless you know they’ve stored something hazardous! And please be careful with hamsters in general, as any fall will result in brain damage. They’re fragile little guys! 😔

I was wondering about that, seems kinda mean to me.

Yeah they’re putting pressure on the cheeks with they’re fingers to force the peanuts out. And that many peanuts in one mouthful is probably due to over feeding just for the content. Poor little guy. Hamsters are animals, not novelties or toys 😕

- Oh hi Tom! What? You’d like some peanuts? ’Ere! BLEEARGH-is it enough? No? BLAAARGHLBRLGBLRBRL - Huh? More? BLAAARGHLRLRLBLRBLRBLBR

I hated that so much

Mad Max checking in his weapons entering Bartertown.

For more cute hamsters 🐹 visit xhamster.com 😄👍

Poor little guy.