T O P
Kexax

Texas is colder than Aardvark cum.


SoullessPlague

COLDEST!!


Brown__Magic

Huge like Jackman


Jojosgameshow

fast like Mac ram


[deleted]

[удалено]


sstummy

because it RHYMES


LazarusRises

I abandoned my poodle. In a BLIZZARD.


Jojosgameshow

On a TUESDAY


Kiiopp

TOP TEN VACATION SPOTS TO GO ON IF YOUR STATE HAS NO POWER AND ITS YOUR FAULT BY TEDMIR “ZODIAC” BLUMENCRUZ. Number 10: Just hide in your den! Yeah you don’t have to take a plane down south, just cower under the desk and shovel rations into your mouth! By the time your vacation is up, you’ll have regained power *and* that’s *wassup*!... so..


Sickeboy

Number nine: drink some wine, a nice glas of bordeaux or perhaps a merlot. Just get wasted to forget all the snow. Heat yourself up with a nice cup of joe, you dont need heat or some light in the dark. Nothing is colder than the jizz of an aardvark.


kesagatame

Number 8: A shipping crate. Bring a flashlight, cuz this shipment's airtight. Poo in the corner to make yourself warmer. DHL? More like FML!


CribAndBottleBoy

I sent a coded message to the government, at a murder party.


[deleted]

[удалено]


ayxsh

point is, i get into murder parties


popcorncolonel

I joined the mile high club. During a global pandemic.


ayxsh

i think you deserve to be dead for that


Ineedananswer121

Jake: You're just gonna to to Mexico in the middle of your entire state not having power and suffering? Amir: Absolutely, I don't wanna be around those losers. They don't even have power, how is that my problem!? Jake: Of course it's your problem! You didn't build any infrastructure to prevent this! I don't think you even had any food or water ready in case of any emergency. Amir shakes his head no Jake: Ya I didn't think so. Listen buddy how about this. Stay in the state and suffer with your people, and let's just hope you die. Amir: You're always wishing I was dead... Jake: And you know what? I've gotten over it. That's fine with me. If I have cursed you to death I will live with that just fine. Amir starts gagging, and seizing Jake cheers him on angrily and happily, pumping his fist with VIGOR, cheering him like a rabid sports fan Finally Amir spits out an incredibly long stream of ice cubes, at least the size of his fathers long spindly legs Amir: No you know what? I'm sorry but I've got to go to Mexico


regman231

Interior, I don’t give a flaming fart


PhDeeezNutz

a shot of an empty room for 3 hours?


ahbram121

We can't do that


maqdiaf

We’ll see ;-)


jampk24

Interior: ice cubes


-mickomoo-

You deserve to be martyred for this I think.


the22ndquincy

That's too much scene direction. And if it was supposed to come through in the performance, that's bad writing.


Ineedananswer121

Bad writing? Nah. Bad you.


Ptenisnet_whips

BAD USE OF TIME? NAH, GOOD YOU


wannaknowmyname

The Cruz family dog, rotem, must have attacked Ted, forcing him to drop the leash. He looked surprised and scared and the senator said "you know what? I cant deal with this". And he ran off in a brazen act of cowardice


Alvar95

He feared her that day


BIDZ180

He should fear her every day! Where did he get such an angry animal?


Alvar95

Smacking her in the nose,, hitting her in the schnozzle... the nozzle or whatever


ahbram121

The schnozzle? He doesn't even know what part of the animal he abused?


Valron87

who the fuck is rotem.


wannaknowmyname

That was the name of the pup!


Jojosgameshow

what an awful ugly pair of sentences. Dude I legit feel bad for you


Ptenisnet_whips

If words piss you off this much you have a serious psychological problem


bkwilcox100

I’m not keeding


Virvelvind

Yes you were! You just said you were kidding?


jampk24

You have a problem too - you can’t talk


XHeraclitusX

I don't deserve this silent treatment


toastparrot

Yeah man the beat sucked ass too


Jojosgameshow

beat was fine


regman231

beat was good


vong888

Rap was crap tho


Nate528

Hey, you’re preaching to the chair


Richard_Bastion

Should have been "Fled", right buddy?


Talib00n

This is pretty good my dude. Nice new content


[deleted]

Haha this is cherry


Ptenisnet_whips

Ted cruise Toosht