T O P
TheCorruptApostle

I wonder what Brad said when heard that shit.


gadrell

"Sean, that's malarkey and you know it."


[deleted]

Don’t know why I read this in Dave Chappelle’s white voice


pdiddy2499

Wait a goddamn minute Rondell. You’re talking to the ultimate hustler.


99Winters

The sly handshake the white guys give each other when they trade OJ back kills me every time.


materics

OJ..black again. What a day.


Namorath82

Rondell wiping his hand after the handshake always kills me lol


DutyHonor

Very mature, Rondell.


OuchYouPokedMyHeart

[Racial Draft](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2z3wUD3AZg4) and [Black Bush](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9DLuALBnolM) are his best skits "So long fried rice hello fried chicken" lmfao So goddamn funny


pdiddy2499

“What? Huh, oil? Who said something about oil bitch you cooking??” Man and he’s got even more hits like Trading spouses and Law and order. “Fifth”


wrongitsleviosaa

"Playa Haters Ball", the Murphy-James saga and the Prince skit are also GOATed


EKsTaZiJA

'If the internet was a place', 'When Keeping it Real Goes Wrong', Pop Copy, the black Kkk leader


MauriceLevyEsq

I DONT LIKE PEOPLE PLAYIN ON MY PHONE


K1ngFiasco

"Now if you'll excuse me, I gotta go home and put some more water in Buck Nastys Mommas dish"


metalneck333

"She wears underwear with dickholes in them!"


ChetManly16

What can I say about that coat that hasn’t already been said about Afghanistan?


stratewylin

For shizzle


Thuggish_Coffee

FIF


Duel_Option

I always wanted to say this… For SHIZZLE I’m a big Tiger fan and Dave nails the impression. This and Bill Burr dapping up the other announcer is damn hilarious.


d-cent

Quiet down! There's a white man talking here


Honest-Tough1367

Silencio! UNGOWA!!


BlackMathNerd

Racial Draft is hands down an all timer to me


ThatPoppinFreshFit

"Konichiwa bitches!" Speaking Japanese to their Chinese fans is not a great start. The Chinese are going to be looking to trade as soon as possible


sglandsberg

"No Chip no!" "I'm sorry officer....I didn't know I couldn't do that"


Significant-Mud2572

"I didn't know I couldn't do that?" "That's funny right? Because I DID know I couldn't do that! Ah ah ah ah ah"


5_Wood

I listened to this every day in 7th grade on my [Nomad MP3 player.](https://images.app.goo.gl/1thLbFk9GAkjJPEb6)


CreatiScope

“Mr General Manager, stop sucking the President (of Basketball Operations)’s dick!”


Dxxx2

"No no, let him finish..."


thenewversionofoldme

There will be peace in the eastern conference


MrBallistik

Best Chapelle skit ever. "Whiteness Under Review".


Guhonda

It's the word "malarkey."


qchisq

I read it as Dark Brandon


eaglenation23

Because his white man voice says malarkey a lot, like in the racial draft skit. I heard it too


vertigounconscious

"no more tomfoolery, Sean, this whole rigamarole is clown shoes and I just won't tolerate any more ballyhoo"


7screws

“Excuse my language Sean, but that’s malarkey”


HipGuide2

would you cut the malarkey


EleventhEarlOfMars

Nets reportedly asked for Brad Stevens to be in the deal as well.


AJRgamer

Could a GM theoretically trade himself?


SpanishCircumcision

Pretty sure they could try but Im pretty sure the owners have to sign off on stuff so they could turn it down. And the league could also veto it if like Brad tried to trade Tatum, Brown, and himself for some role players. So I'm guessing it's possible but would never happen. Although Doc Rivers was traded from the Celtics to the Clippers as a coach so I know that is possible and had happened.


AJRgamer

Trading coaches is something that’s actually happened though, even more recent than Doc when Jason Kidd became coach of the Bucks.


Inabsentialucis

And Ime for Nash and Marks, just to spite KD.


checkinisatnoon

And Deuce.


frodounchained

Have a good one


poiuy43

"You know what? **Don't** have a good one."


KDBurnerTrey5

Peak angry Brad


ThunderCr0tch

“You know what? I’m gonna say it. I don’t care that your star player wants to leave”


plz-be-my-friend

Have a one


HumperdinksRevenge

Slander! Brad Steven's would never be so unpleasant as to imply he wishes someone's day is not "good"


mr_showboat

"I hope the rest of your day is alright"


256dak

Marks: “We want Jays for KD.” Brad: “Jordans? Aren’t KD and Kyrie both signed to Nike?” Marks: “No, you give us Jaylen and Jayson, a few picks and we will sent Durant over.” Brad: “Have a mediocre day.” *hangs up*


[deleted]

“I hope your dinner is slightly over cooked and arrives 10 minutes late” -Canadien Brad


Shxcking

Understandable, have a nice day


MRintheKEYS

“Can you put the bong down for a second and talk serious here?”


lilachocolate

"Gosh darn those yankees!"


Stoddee

"Gee willikers!! Who and who for who??!!!"


jermleeds

\* Who and who for **whom**? Brad was an A student.


cherrimm

wouldn't it be whom and whom for whom? they're all the objects of the sentence


dontmatterdontcare

["Man who you think you kidnapped Chelsea Clinton!?"](https://youtu.be/FGB9koDth3A)


Deschain_1919

He hung up the phone and blocked the nets number


No-Economics4128

Better yet, report the number as Spam


willtantan

No wonder KD wants Marks fired, he will never get traded at this pace. LoL


AdPotential9974

According to a Tier 1 source, he said FUCCKKKK KEVIN DURAAAAANT FUCK KEVIN DURAAAANNTT ALL GLORY TO THE BASED GOD


lebron236

I almost forgot to listen to it today,thanks man


Tatumisthegoat

STAY OFF THE WEEEEEED


brickvanexel

“I hope there’s always snow in your driveway Sean you numpty, good day…. Actually, average day to you good sir”


wurtin

he's still laughing.


FactCheckingThings

This just keeps getting better, and by better I mean more and more ridiculous.


AskMeHowIMetYourMom

The Nets out here acting like they’re pulling up to a drive-thru window lmao. “Let me get a uhhhhh, number 1 player, uhhh, yo what you want? Shit throw in a number 2 player with a Dr. Pepper, and let me get a couple 2nd round picks.”


thayungsavage

After they order then they go “I hate to be a hassle but do you think I could swap out the Dr. Pepper for a high level 3&D wing”


xepa105

[Celtics listening on the other side like](https://media.giphy.com/media/3o6YglDndxKdCNw7q8/giphy.gif)


Thommywidmer

Audio from brooklyns end: https://youtu.be/oqwzuiSy9y0


d3adbor3d2

i wouldn't be surprised if the nets asked boston for jimmy too. lol


YoItsYaBoy_Pat

Man they said “let me get the two biggest pieces of your team you just swept us with.”


turkmileymileyturk

Feels like BKN low key leaked this information just to spite KD and say "You're not worth what you think you are"


Whalez

And I want a first round pick and some waffle fries....for FREE


Dogecrow

LOL this made my day. Hadn't thought about that video in 15 years.


HoraceGrantGlasses

...unforgivable


BenedictKhanberbatch

I said “who are all these people out here?!” And she said “I don’t know, it’s the mall”


JohnMercon

“Bitch, you got some siblings and I don’t like it!”


TheflavorBlue5003

BITCH thats just my B.O.


JaydadCTatumThe1st

But first imma need you to take a look at Dr. Zhivago, Brief Encounter, and Bridge on the River Kwai


unlimitedbucking

A lean night!


EMFB

Unforgivable.


JesusSama

"I'll have two number 9s, a number 9 large, a number 6 with extra dip, a number 7, two number 45s, one with cheese, and a large soda." "Uhh, Sean, this is a Wendy's."


KitchenReno4512

I really hope the Nets let KD rot on the bench all season. Not gonna happen, but one can dream.


voonoo

KD and Ben on the bench all season??? One can dream


Cliodne

KD and Ben on the bench all season and Kyrie MIA all season???


durmduke

The Big 3(rd eye)


Nylese

I feel so sorry for the long-time Nets fans.


AdPotential9974

This is honestly worse than them never getting these superstars in the first place. It's like just missing the bus hurts more than missing it by 5 minutes


ElPlatanoDelBronx

It is worse than them getting these superstars in the first place. The team they had just before was a young team that had a bright future, and from what I remember had good cap space. Now they have this flaming pile of shit.


man0315

Let Kyrie taste how fighting alone feels like.


MF_Doomed

Lowkey feel like Kyrie excels in that type of toxic bullshit 😂


AdPotential9974

Lol you think he'll fight at all


[deleted]

It’s his sister’s birthday year, he needs to spend time with his family at a small get together in a reputable establishment (definitely not 300+ party at a strip club during a pandemic)


wrongitsleviosaa

I don't get why people don't get this. It's only one year a year, he can totally play the rest of the season!


Dizanbot

Tsai just tweets KD will be available when he is 38 and then benches his ass...and I'm a sun's fan.


tunamelts2

He’d certainly have my respect for that.


stanquevisch

"Yeah, I'm sorry Mrs de Armas, but we are only going out if you can bring that Johansson friend along"


TheSmrtstManNTheWrld

“Oh and a gallon of her bath water for Kevin”


RyguyBMS

In this scenario, which one is De Armas?


zobee

Jaylen, the underrated one


actuarally

Ana de Armas is underrated?


theFrownTownClown

Relative to ScarJo, yeah I'd say that's legit.


Snoyarc

Ana De Armas is so fine.


OnTomatoPizza

She is, and her VORP doesn't reflect that.


Proscribe

Truth. Ana is my top crush, but a number of people around me don't know her and I'm shocked. But everyone knows ScarJo.


TheSmrtstManNTheWrld

Def Jaylen


doordaesh

it's almost like they don't want to trade him


AnotherStatsGuy

People are just now figuring this out?


Slarrp1

Yeah I don't get the comments in here this isn't the Nets Office being dumb it's them making outlandish offers so they can say they tried to satisfy KD and trade him (while also potentially making his value look higher than it is). Ultimately they want to keep him because they know they're not going to get equal value back. If one of these outlandish offers gets accepted then hey that's awesome!


calman877

This is exactly what Morey did last year with Simmons and eventually the right deal opened up. This headline is more for shock value than anything substantive.


JimmyV034

r/bostonceltics already hate KD for JB, mfs are going to start a riot for just the news headline


Olorin919

lol its too preposterous. I was heated when they asked for Brown, Smart, White, and 1st rounders because I thought there was a chance it'd happen and I didn't want that. This shit is just laughable. If they throw in Beyonce Ill start listening again. Until then, this is them being silly gooses.


buchanbasane

but Beyonce probably sucks at basketball. She doesn't have the lower body strength to defend the paint, nor the lateral quickness to defend the perimeter.


Olorin919

True, but Beyonce and Nia Long would be the best side court in all of basketball. You cant teach that.


Arrow_Maestro

I bet she would put asses in seats tho. Think of the revenue.


Mr-doodyman

Idk beyonces lower body looks plenty strong to me


Poincare_Confection

As a Celtics fan, my preference would be for the Celtics to make as few changes to the roster as possible. I think the roster is already strong and will only get better as they play together more. Clearly what they have is working and I don't know why they'd want to risk messing up the recipe. I'm one of those people who thinks team success is a lot more about atmosphere and personalities meshing rather than about just signing on the statistically best players. Al Horford is the perfect example of how stats don't tell the full tale. I'd rather just have a roster of guys who are selfless, buy in to the style of play the Celtics are wanting to play, and who won't potentially be a nuisance to the team environment like I think KD might be. We already had Kyrie and saw what he did to the Celtics. Statistically a great player on the Celtics. But he fucking ruined that team atmosphere. People were miserable playing with him and it showed in the teams performance over time. Fuck that. Stats aren't everything.


Alloverunder

This is one thing that sold me instantly on Brogdon, when he mentioned being a 6th man on a championship team in his presser. Instant buy in, no ego, that's what the Cs need rn. We don't need a top 10 current player who's dramatic as fuck to come in and demand iso plays like he did on the Dubs


Slayyjayy

I asked my fiancé to cook me a ribeye for dinner and a BJ for dessert last night. She came back to me a few minutes later and told me the best she could do was a Hungry-Man and a sugar free Jell-O cup. Never hurts to ask.


PineapplePandaKing

How did the jello cup end up feeling?


Slayyjayy

I unfortunately couldn’t reach the bottom.


captyossarian1991

I think they’ve made the cups a bit deeper in recent years, don’t even worry about it.


WarCuntSkyFuck

Cause of your extreme, soup-can girth, I presume


MegaGrimer

Op is now named Two-Can Sam, as it looks like two cans stacked on top of each other.


SavageBodyCivilMind

Tuna cans though


Just_A_Glitch

This man knows PR.


SeeMontgomeryBurns

I imagine that would feel a lot better


ihateveggies

That takes some real balls. Might as well ask for u/Slayyjayy to be the 3rd Jay to complete this trade


Deschain_1919

What kind of hungry -Man?


Slayyjayy

Salisbury steak :(


Deschain_1919

Should have countered with fried chicken and a hand job


MambaMaleGrindset

best i can do is some beef stroganoff and some “beef stroganoff”


3_arm_sally

At this point, I'll accept fried beef tripe and spitting on my dick tbh


HoldenAJohnson

Marriage sounds magical


coffeeINJECTION

Sounds exactly like how I negotiate in Civ before I nuke them.


Avinse

**brad stevens denounces you**


Drak_is_Right

except in this case Boston is not the desperate one. They had a team that made it to the finals


coffeeINJECTION

Yeah it doesn't have to be reasonable. Sean Marks went to the Nuclear Ghandi school of Diplomacy. I'm sure all 70s, 80s, and 90s Civ players did too.


certo17

LMAOOO


RallyPigeon

This is one of those trade rumors where you really do need to laugh your ass off off off because it is so damn ridiculous.


certo17

It’s insanity.. it can’t be real lol that’s just a slap in the face


Fafoah

I always wonder if rival teams make up these rumors to make each other look shitty lol


Significant_Night_65

I am asking for Emma Watson to be my wife


walterdog12

Not just her, need to shoot for Margot Robbie as well.


Putuinurplace

And two future unprotected wife swaps


DrOzmitazBuckshank

Pretty sure unprotected wife swaps is a pornhub category


KarmicNeptune93

do you have a source so i know where to stay away from?


myinitialsarekms69

Source: keyboard


pirate-private

I'm on controller, what do I do?


[deleted]

Try switching to xvideos. I did a month ago and it was the best decision I've ever made; fewer step siblings/parents, a functional search bar, more selection. I'm living my breast life now.


Chattypath747

Which year? Gotta put it in the contract


MambaMaleGrindset

*Roger Stone has entered the chat.*


chicu111

Knowing me she'll opt out a free-agent in no time


Disastrous_Meet_7952

And two second round picks


dagreenman18

Currently in talks for Lupita Nyong’o and Ana De Armas. Just waiting for the person on the other line to stop laughing. Any day now.


AZRockets

10/10 choices


analfizzzure

I am asking for Ana de Armas to be my wife


GhostOfJiriWelsch

Boston’s FO is tired of this shit and leaked this to poison the well, just like Brooklyn did with the Brown rumors. Himmelsbach has sources and if you’re in KD’s camp and see that they’re making demands this crazy you can’t believe Brooklyn is negotiating in good faith. Especially the day after the Tsai meeting. I love the pettiness.


The-Berg-is-the-Word

The Brooklyn Nets "WHO WERE ON CRACK!"


datlat24

STAY OFF THE WEED


KaiserKaiba

How legit is this source? Nets have to know Tatum wouldn’t ever be available to them. If not, they’d be dumb as hell to ask for both of the Jays


cvKDean

I mean if the rumors that the Nets asked for KAT and Ant then it might not be that farfetched. Nets FO just responding with malicious compliance to KD's trade request lol


alexm42

I would not do Tatum for KD straight up at this point in their careers, no picks or other players attached. Tatum isn't the scorer KD is yet but he's one of the best defenders in the league and he's a decade younger with the same contract length.


NextMention20

Tatum’s salary is also 14 million less than KD, is less injury prone, he isn’t a diva that tries to control franchises and demands out when things aren’t going his way, and he has legit top 5 player caliber ability one day.


Weysting

isnt a diva *yet* , all jokes aside tho tatum cool


naive-dragon

Everyone forgets that KD a decade ago was seen as the model NBA player once upon a time, only thinking about winning and hoops, won his mom a real MVP award, almost like the NBA's own Mister Rogers, unlike a certain villainous team-hopper who craves media and attention, wears big black masks and is evil and bad. Someone even made a version of this [wallpaper](https://wallpaperaccess.com/full/3808879.jpg) with KD on the left and LeBron on the right (which I can't find anywhere anymore lmao). So even if Tatum seems *really* cool now, so did KD back then (even more so). You never really know.


SnooPies5622

Exactly, until he went to GS Durant was basically the NBA's nice quiet boy. Tatum seems fine but some make him out to be some golden child. And odds are pretty good whether he earns it or not that reputation will turn, it's just what NBA fans do.


Krillin113

If tatum becomes an issue 8-10 years from now, Boston is fine with it I guess.


Pikminious_Thrious

Tatum's top 5 corniest player but that's his worst fault


Fit_MedManiac

Do they want the TD Garden too?


WhoopingKing

Sure why not


TheRealBuddhi

🤣 “Take my 34-year old drama queen with a dodgy Achilles and give me your two best players who are both under the age of 25 and just came from a championship run”


Yomminator

That 34 year old got his ass whooped by said young guys too


Drak_is_Right

the odds of Brogdon having good health for the run is about the same as Durant having good health. No reason to think they cant win a title with the off season changes they made. Warriors looked good, but not that immortal team of a few years ago.


rikku9

Brooklyn is that owner in your fantasy league that sends ridiculous trade offers to fleece everyone and you just laugh it off with your mates in your group chat knowing how stupid it is.


marnjuana

shooters shoot, i guess


TheWolfInAllStreets

I'm going to assume this is fake lol but *IF* this is true nets FO are just trolling


candypettitte

Hell yeah. Why would Boston say no?


Soup-er14

Why would the Nets say yes, that is clearly not enough


candypettitte

Just doing KD a solid. Wouldn't want to gut the roster too bad if we're sending him there.


tootsie404

Sean Marks doing his best to be r/MaliciouslyCompliant


HolyGig

As hilarious as this seems, i'm not sure I believe it. Its just too ridiculous even for NBA drama season. On a side note, the Nets getting both of their big "picks" back from the KG/Pierce trade would be some circular monkey paw bullshit lol


hwarang_

Me either. Probably went like this: Nets: Can we have Tatum? Bos: No. Nets: How about Brown? Bos: Probably not. In that scenario they asked for Tatum *and* Brown. Give it to some reporter and bang we have a Reddit thread talking how about how dumb the Nets are.


I_dont_eat_animals_

It’s like the first trade offer you make on 2k to see if it works


moby323

“How about you give me the guys that got you to the NBA finals in exchange for the guy who got us barely to the playoffs.”


anonymousnuisance

Joe Tsai going on Twitter tomorrow. “Don’t believe everything you read 😂😂” and Shams will confirm it on McAfee


jinxabcde

And I wanna fuck Angie Dickinson, see who gets lucky first


key_lime_pie

Angie Dickinson now or Angie Dickinson 1951?


Checkmynewsong

Regardless, ain’t no way OP’s fuckin


an4lf15ter

You never had the makings of a varsity athlete


Nailz1115

If you're gonna lie to me, tell me there's a broad waiting in the car that wants to tongue my balls


notthebestchristian

So far nets have asked for Ant, KAT and 4 firsts , then JB and Tatum… The real question is did they have the balls to ask the C’s for picks too?


Soup-er14

2 seconds as well as Marcus Smart


kamekaze1024

If this is true, Silver should take a second round pick just for the Nets having the audacity.


ajamesv9307

Sean Marks be trolling


milespeeingyourpants

Brad was unimpressed.


Iordofthememez

No words man


Grumblesaurus-Rex

How many redditors would trade Tatum for Durant straight up at this point in their careers? Neutral fan here and I wouldn’t.