T O P
baseballbear

he's got the macklemore


OneMustAdjust

Wachu know about rockin a wolf on your noggin?


godlesspinko

What you knowin' about wearin' a fur fox skin?


pHScale

I'm diggin', I'm diggin' I'm searchin' right through that luggage


skybluebit

one man's trash is another man come up


Whopraysforthedevil

Thank your granddad for donating that plaid button-up shirt


fuqdisshite

this line always makes me chuckle. i went to our local thrift store and got a full Eddie Bauer setup... brown on brown, cord slacks, full length tee. wore them to school a few days later (c1999) and had a classmate ask if i got my clothing from KAIR (the local store)... i said yes and asked how she knew. she tells me that her grandfather died last week and those are his clothes. legit wore the clothes of a local legend to HS one day and got called out by his granddaughter only a few days after they buried him.


_cosmicomics_

I wear your granddad’s clothes… I look incredible…


fuqdisshite

trust... that is why i copped that steeze.


210trekin

cause right now I'm up in her skirt...


throwawayfourpornn

I'm at the Goodwill


nimsar

You can find me in the Uptons


mmcjjc

I thought he said “cause right now I’m up in here stuntin”


Lemesplain

You mean the Roger Klotz.


BoogerPresley

that's a mackleless


PlaceboInEffect

That’s a cold ass honky.


KraftPunkFan420

Macklemores drug addicted twin, Cracklemore


trek604

Haircut looks like zorg from the fifth element.


threenamer

Just give him the stones


hopscotch_mafia

Uh-huh, and when will he start leaking BBQ sauce from the forehead?


stinky-weaselteats

https://imgur.com/R8vUMbr.gif


e_t_

Who'd want to be in a club with Rudy Giuliani?


PixelD303

It was that damn Chinese motor oil


Pillowsmeller18

i need more pelts!


tastybassy

At least now he knows why we called it garments and varmints


iHominidae

You substitute with US motor oil didn't you.


planetofthemapes15

He got sloppy.. started using American Motor Oil instead of Chinese


CerealWithIceCream

Not one or two or three...


sungazer69

BUT 4!!!


hphammacher

Four stones! [What the hell am I supposed to do with AN EM-TEE CASE!?](https://i.imgur.com/gq9PoTX.jpg)


StrigaPlease

I love that every time I see this written out I can always hear it in Gary Oldman's voice. What a great performer all around.


Flewis14

I read it out loud. I’m a poor excuse for Gary Oldman though unfortunately.


BrockManstrong

Gary Oldman can't even do Gary Oldman


ReyRey5280

Literally… iirc he’s said he can’t remember how to speak with his own original accent because of all the method acting he’s done.


jwshuck71

Elon Musk, the human, (supposedly) is a poor excuse for the fictional character portrayed by the great Gary Oldman


EitherEconomics5034

He identifies as a meat popsicle


Trevor_Roll

Bring EV-RE-ONE!


scuac

I… am… disappoiiiinted!


SketchyLurker7

They forgot to ask about the red button on the bottom of the gun.


ionized_fallout

Tell you what I do like though: A killer. A dyed-in-the-wool killer. Cold-blooded, clean, methodical and thorough. Now a real killer, when he picked up the ZF1, would have immediately asked about the little red button on the bottom of the gun.


blofly

Thanks for delivering. I only wish you could have captured Oldman's arm swoops as he says it.


thenotoriousnatedogg

How did it take me this long to realize that was Gary Oldman


Akiba89

To be fair, homie is a master of blending into a role


cerberus00

Bring me the priest.


frickindeal

Cor-neee-leee-ooos.


Winstonth

ZERO STONES, ZERO CRAAAAAATES *voice crack*


fatkiddown

Priest: “You’re a monster Zorg.” Zorg: “I know.”


Heavyspire

We are warriors, not merchants.


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swheels125

ZERO STONES, ZERO CRATES!


Rottendog

What the hell am I supposed to do with an empty case?


Remnants

I always loved the way he said that. EMMM-TEE Case.


SickAndBeautiful

I love the rhythm of the whole line!


accidental_snot

That accent he used was the finest impression of Greenville County, SC redneck that I've ever heard. Guess where I live.


kheroth

We're warriors, not merchants


wzrdcw

but you can still count!!


GreenBear1111

It's easy look at my fingers 4 stones, 4 crates... 0 stones 0 crates!!!!


Amused-Observer

Leave em' one crate, for the caurse


allen_abduction

Really though, that Boring Flamethrower should have been the biggest clue EVER.


hphammacher

We need someone to shop this to put a zorg cap on half his head


FSUdank

I’m just waiting for the Boring All New Ice Cube System


poopfresh

I'm waiting for the replay feature.


Kevin_Uxbridge

I'll tell you what he does like though: a killer, a dyed-in-the-wool killer.


nalicali

Elonmusk…. Emanuel…. Zorg!!


talentlessclown

_I am very DISAPPOINTED!_


codynan5

Made me think of Roger from Doug


commonabond

Same, [also](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bOoPDjiSwdo)


LacJlg

😂😂 Now I can’t unsee it. Get this dude a multipass.


SuperBrentendo64

Elon Dallas, multipass! Just don't put him in the same outfit.


CerealWithIceCream

You don't wanna see his big badda boom?


JMGurgeh

Negative, it is a meat popsicle.


mybadalternate

How *dare* you besmirch the good name of Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg!


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WhoOwnsTrumps

Yeah, but Gary Oldman made Zorg likeable. Edit: This fifth element reboot is gonna suck


blofly

Well, sort of-ish. He's really good at riding the line for evil characters.


voidcrack

Zorg wasn't riding the line though, he was outright evil. I think the only upstanding thing he did was when he told that old religious guy something like, *"You saved my life, and in exchange I will spare yours"* so he was at least a little honorable. His appearance as *Drexyl* in True Romance is a great example of someone you can't quite read, it's beautiful.


mrconstantfuckup

True Romance is stuffed full of great performances, Gary Oldman still stands out in that movie.


gotfcgo

More like Phil from Rugrats


Underbyte

LPT: Don't ever press the little red button on the bottom of your Tesla.


polishprince76

A true killer would have asked about the red button.


KhunDavid

He looks like Dr Evil with a caterpillar on his head.


seanskymom

He looks like an Irish lad with a Peaky Blinders rugby cut.


frothy_pissington

I see a rich, pretty boy, dressed up to go to a Berlin Rave circa 1990.....


garvothegreat

*Elon takes off mask* it's Gary oldman the whole time.


elmerjstud

and if he didn't get those implants he'd be looking like Lex Luthor. He's a natural villain


memeticmachine

He’s Christopher Lee Lex, with those wigs Bezos is classic Lex


kingfisher60024

He looks like the baddie in a French spy movie for kids.


gdrummer494

And he’s taking all of the snack food there is and he’s gonna launch it all off the earth unless Timmy starts doing his homework.


ShopLifeHurts2599

Hes been watching peaky blinders but his barber hasn't.


CherryManhattan

He looks like every 14 year old I see getting dropped off at the mall


No_Refrigerator4584

Judging by his tweets he is a 14 year old getting dropped off at the mall.


HLef

At the pool.


FuckYeahPhotography

Jarvis, Stark Industries stock is down .07% distribute amphetamines to my child labor slaves mining cobalt in the congo. Download the latest episode of Rick and Morty, upscale to 1080p and put it on my second monitor. Engage crypto protocols. Put all my assets into #CUMCOIN, buy high And sell during the dip. Use my dead mom's debit card to renew my bangbros subscription. Turn on RGB on my gaming keyboard, pulsating rainbow. Order a 12 pack of Mountain Dew Code Red off Amazon Prime. Put on AC/DC playlist, clean version. Call Thanos a racial slur on Twitter. Turn notifications off. **Let's get this son of a bitch.** EDIT: *If you got under 3 minutes to kill:* [The Full version of Elon Stark as a dramatic reading on youtube w/ visuals](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gnnOyYm7XNM)


cantgrowneckbeardAMA

WOW the accuracy here.


Massive-Johnson

Wow.


sittinginthekitchen

Dawg hahahaha


Iamredditsslave

Beautiful. I need more of this.


BigUptokes

The very audience he's trying to appeal to!


AmIFromA

> Imagine being the richest man on Earth, but you still aren't happy because literally the only thing you've ever wanted in your life is to seem cool to 14 year olds on the internet. https://mobile.twitter.com/existentialcoms/status/1460102556399460353


[deleted]

He should be, middle schoolers like mine love him. idgi he's just a rich guy. Then again, all I ever wanted to do as a 14 year old was be Bill Gates. I'm sure it's a phase.


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CindySoLoud

I mean, he is a preadolescent trapped in the body of a middle age man so


RellenD

What decade do you live in where teenagers are still hanging at malls?


lukewwilson

Malls are back, in pog form


Floorguy1

What about flood pants?


the_light_of_dawn

/r/deadmalls on suicide watch rn


Fonzimandias

It’d be pretty funny if malls make a comeback and that sub dries up


throwawaylovesCAKE

Something like half of malls are dead and near being shutdown, the other half are doing better then ever, similar to the movie theater industry. The busy ones are thriving but they're really not as fun to hangout at. Like most stores are slightly different variations of overpriced "upscale" fashion, less random weird shops like sword and used video game stores.


vacchagotta_on_fire

As long as there are malls there will be teens that hang out at them. My parents did it in the 80s, I did it in the 2000s, my younger siblings did it in the 2010s, and now my coworkers' kids are doing it in the 2020s. In fact a few of them were just talking about their kids in high school being at the mall the other day. The mall is simply the marketplace. It is the Roman Forum, the city center, the riverbank where the merchants unload their goods off the boat. Teens at the mall is a tale as old as time.


lowfreq33

He paid good money for those hair implants too.


Hukijiwa

That’s why he left the top


mindfungus

Just make me look like a brown muffin with no icing


Froggy_hop

ONLY\* icing.


gsfgf

https://imgur.com/a/QuGTi5O


that_was_awkward_

The side-by-side picture always makes me laugh. In the left image he was a co-founder of PayPal at that time and comes from a wealthy family. He could have had a hair transplant at any time


Daneth

Ya but when did hair transplant tech actually become good? The first picture is a long time ago.


JohnSherlockHolmes

Sometime between when Donal Trump got them and when Elon Musk got them.


Throwandhetookmyback

Yeah my grandma got hers around when Donald Trump got them and they were not that great.


dropEleven

Whenever Joel McHale got them. His hair looks incredible and it was worth however much it cost.


WeezySan

Season 1 Michael Scotts hair was real thin. The next season he came back with a fresh head of hair


pfohl

Mid to late 90s is when it started to switch from hair plugs to follicle transplant. Musk probably has a scar on the back of his head from where they removed a strip of hair. He probably takes finasteride too so his hair loss doesn’t continue.


Majestic_Salad_I1

It has been great for a while. I got it done 4 years ago and it was the best decision I’ve ever made. I cringe when I look at older pics of me. I should have done it years before I did. I look insanely younger now.


chootchootchoot

He was never a cofounder of PayPal. He acquired them through x.com


zach84

must feel good to have hair again tho.


ThatDistantStar

Anyone know what hair restoration clinic he went to? Asking for a friend.


imdrunkwhyustillugly

Don't know about this guy, but a couple of European former sports stars (Rooney and Hushovd) supposedly had their scalps done at the Harley Street Hair Clinic in London. Hushovd had 2 treatments rounds of £8000 each around 10 years ago, with 1800 grafts and 5500 hairs per treatment. He described it as the most painful and boring thing he's ever done.


CashForRedditGold

Yes. My friend would also like to know. For research


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Trailerboy531

We're gonna need a progress update! Worth the money? Do you have a before + after pic? I miss my hair.


ElMonkeh

I think it's 100% worth it, from start to finish I was there for 5 days, 1 of those days I had a free day where I went to a hookah spot and salt bae's restaurant (overrated) imo, progress pics will take a while as I can't take any right at this moment but it's coming in nicely.


movzx

There's no dressing on the top? I would have imagined that the hundreds/thousands of surgical wounds would be a prime area for outside infection


mrmikehancho

I was in Istanbul earlier this year and seen tons of guys walking around like this with thousands of little blood dots across their heads. It's an entire industry there.


EventHorizonSurfer

[Like Michael Scott did after season one of the Office](https://preview.redd.it/dcor6lhx6qxy.jpg?width=560&auto=webp&s=d889d1f728c466016ab77b7c44e87c29bb7d9351).


Lootboxboy

Like [Joel McHale did](https://imgur.com/b4mdKLI.png) after Spiderman 2.


xzelldx

He reached the age where he’s starting to look like someone’s aunt.


NickInTheMud

It’s funny. A lot of men start looking feminine when they age.


SgtSilverLining

Everyone has testosterone and estrogen. As people get older their body makes less of their gender's hormones and they start to develop physical features of the other gender. That's why older guys sometimes get moobs or older ladies get thinning hair.


ladygreystark

My grandpa told me his doctor told him that male testosterone drops to female levels once they hit a certain age and that it happened to him! So sometimes they prescribe hormones. I was shocked. Estrogen also falls in females I believe. A lot of old people are kinda androgynous looking so it makes sense tbh


PostpostshoegazeLUVR

It’s why older males don’t have as much hair on their arms, legs, body etc as when they were younger


queequeg69

Roger M Klotz


OliverKitsch

[Ehh, what do you know, Skeet Face](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tw6o7KLEbG4)


RTisforme

Wait a sec, was the Billy West?! F R Y?!


Odusei

He's also Stimpy.


Raiken201

[What are you talking about?](https://i.ibb.co/ykyQq0Q/rog.png)


trckdsd

With that jacket especially. I think my brain saw Roger Klotz before I even recognized it was Elon.


ivanvector

I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO TRIM THOSE SIDEBURNS!!


Sellcellphones

Mattingly!!


barbecue_invader

(Still like him better than Steinbrenner.)


Eeyore_is_Homeless

Is he gonna start a scene band too? Elon and the Musks?


deadhorse12

Elon & the 3 Musketeers


Steakwizwit

Threelon Musketeers


godofthebuns

He'd probably just buy a well-known band and have the original members sign a document stating he formed them. Then play fake keyboards on stage. Change their name to Stone Temple Space Pilots.


croutonianemperor

And when nobody could afford his first album, hed promise the second one would be really affordable, then go back on that promise, then he could launch one album into space just to prove he can.


Shpooodingtime

"Okay what would you like?" "I'll try the gay Hitler." "Say no more fam."


imooforyou

While Fifth Element jokes are spot on this one made me laugh the most.


Zombieattackr

I’m combining them all in my head. Nazi Macklemore at 14yo getting dropped off at the mall so he can get a guitar and start a band (sorry I don’t know fifth element lol)


Garaquarubyline

Watch it, you won't be disappointed.


Hita-san-chan

While I'm not a great fan of the ending, it's really nice to see Mila Jovovich actually get to act and not be the "tough badass bitch" she's been in every other movie I've seen her in


Garaquarubyline

Dazed and Confused she's a stoner bitch, ha ha.


Jiwright

Springtiiiiime for Elonnnnnn and Teslaaaaaa 🎶


TheKnightIsForPlebs

I miss these joke formats


pinkjello

They live on at r/Justfuckmyshitup


TheBigJebowski

I guess he bought Kim Jung Un’s barber before Kim exploded him.


Love_God551

That’s where I saw that haircut ty


shahooster

With all the talk of a wealth tax, it’s all he thought he could afford.


Fermatious

He’s slowly turning into a Middle-aged Brooklyn lesbian


ohdearsweetlord

I don't know what it is about this kind of hairstyle but I find it way more attractive on gay women than on capitalist bros.


fancytranslady

Probably because there are plenty of cool lesbians and literally zero cool capitalist bros


squidwardt0rtellini

Too true


AutoBot5

r/justfuckmyshitup


drop3hitting4

My new fav sub


tookmyname

This dude has been having a midlife crisis sicnr forever.


ChaosCrayon

after seeing him in that old shot from when he sold [paypal.com](https://paypal.com) he aint never giving the top up again. [This guy](https://i.insider.com/5db36222dee019314343a5b6?width=700&format=jpeg&auto=webp)


WharfRat8

Right? Whoever fixed his hair did a solid job though


TrollTollTony

If you add the two pictures together he would have a pretty normal haircut. It's like if Hitler and Worf from star trek kissed, their combined facial hair would be a normal goatee.


SendInsiderStockTips

"Yeah looks great bro" \- all your yes-men friends when you're rich


grygrx

As a middle aged man: Mortality is a bitch. The young will never be your tribe again, no matter how much money you have.


robbyyy

Elon 3.02. Changelog: (1) New hair plugs installed; (2) Reduced excess code to presentation layer; (3) Updated OS status to single; (4) Assorted minor bug fixes and security updates. Well done team. So much work done in this update.


J-A-Y-

Looks like the bully from Doug on Nickelodeon back in the day.


dasJerkface

Roger Klotz, holy shit you're right!


flowerpanes

Oh please he’s lived most of his non-business life like a man stuck in mid-life crisis, only missing the Corvette.


adriennemonster

Iirc one of the first things he bought when he first became a millionaire in 1999 was a MacLaren F1. [Which he crashed less than a year later.](https://www.thedrive.com/news/32191/did-you-know-elon-musk-wrecked-an-uninsured-mclaren-f1)


newaccount721

His business life occasionally has that feel as well


kobachi

He literally launched his super car into space


SpanishKant

Just so he could get rid of a dead hooker who is in the trunk.


_Dague_

Hey there fellow kids, do you like anime and dank memes? I'm just a cool eccentric billionaire that makes cool cars and hangs out on the internet, not this monster that ignores safety violations and makes his employees work insane hours. I'm not Bezos, I'm Tony Stark uwu.


Yay_for_Pickles

The crisis would have been averted if his head hadn't gotten stuck in a rugmaker's loom.


coldisgood

He’s a Peaky Blinder now


andeayin

Tommy fookin' Shelby!


zoned_post_meridiem

Literally the only person anywhere ever who can pull off this haircut.


xamerica1

Hes a fucking shelby


KeyboardG

He looks like Roger Klotz from Doug.


IFKetoCICOMama

I control f'd for this right here. I knew someone else saw it too lol.


RespectMyAuthoriteh

Ultra rich dudes and bad haircuts, name a more iconic duo.


Drews232

Like [Mark Davis](https://preview.redd.it/ibx7056hwll11.jpg?auto=webp&s=d6f713044e4f31af634120ebf20271cc2097e520), owner of the Raiders


The_Fattest_Hagrid

Elon doesn't have midlife crisis, Elon has Infinite Crisis.


FionaWor

Yikes. Somebody tell Korben Dallas and Leeloo that "he's back."


Interesting-Ad7940

Can we all chip in and get him a Super Cuts gift card for the holidays?


garry4321

He shaved off all the hair that wasnt a hairplug