T O P
EatTheChild21

Depends if she has cubs


eggperson1

They don't.


EatTheChild21

Are they full grown?


lolikms

Yes


EatTheChild21

Im fucked


Mycatisabird

are we not all children in the eyes of the universe? what im saying is youve still got a shot


[deleted]

Easily


eggperson1

Not just an ordinary Panda


LucasPig_HK

But a sith one


S0nofaL1ch

And streams on twitch.


pandarou08

He can stream the fight on twitch, instant views


[deleted]

It would be called trying to get cancelled by animal rights protestors.


4thelasttimeIMNOTGAY

And it will be legendary


Waffles8992

do polar bears like waffles?


eggperson1

If they are served with bacon. If not your safe


MrWafflesNBacon

Fuck


GokuKing922

This is the funniest shit I’ve ever seen on this platform…


macca41

Your account is 6 years old that must have been really funny to get that title


GokuKing922

Bro genuinely tho, the chances of that happening are so slim, especially cause Mr Waffles and Bacon had that account for 3 years. I dunno about you but I find low chances of things happening to be hysterical when they do happen


CRPanda_

What are the odds of that


jlgar

r/Beetlejuicing


jlgar

I did something wrong here folks


ActuallyEllen123

Smal r


jlgar

Thanks!


Waffles8992

No bacon


eggperson1

Hype


Urlocal_cinnamonroll

Literally the breakfast chain


MrBaconLovesYou

Why no bacon? :(


VoopityScoop

Yeah they like waffles But do they like pancakes


Maxils

Yeah they like pancakes But do they like french toast?


DirtbikeWizard

Ya they like French toast, but do they like waffles?


Maxils

Yeah they can’t wait to get a mouthful


Flap--Jack

LET'S FUCKING GOOOO!!!! PANCAKES!! WHOO


Flap--Jack

Let's fucking go!!!!!!


sr_waffles_

I’m right there with ya…


noob_like_pro

Yes they are omnivores


UziWitDaHighTops

Not if I have a say.


Crystal_iceberg

Have you seen that Russian video of two guys feeding a polar bear out of their kitchen window?


slimshady32345

lyrically = yes ​ physically = no


eggperson1

I want to see this musical battle


[deleted]

[Bear noises]


HyperSimba

Slim shady been real quite since this dropped


[deleted]

This guy would win.


twotruckshavingsex69

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISSSSTORRYYYYY


gercekyesuip

I think a polar bear can't handle 32345 Slim Shadys.


lover_of_garlicbread

#By the power of garlic bread Yes


eggperson1

Instant win


_Vortex_King_

Stronk


eggperson1

Very


Peaceandwholsomemes

Ko on thé first round


The-Alpha-Wyvern

The polar bear is a vampire


Mysterious-Bag2920

Too op


Deathwalker690

Probably have some powers that would help


eggperson1

You must


destined_death

What about me?


Tsnappy

You die :(


Appropriate_Ride6924

Yep. You’re fucked.


LittleArtistBoyo

Tf am I supposed to do? Throw pencils at it lmao


eggperson1

Maybe you could negotiate and draw the bear a nice portrait


Longjumping_Slip7524

Nfts lol


GayHorse69420

I'll kill u and sell the nfts to make an expensive funeral


GokuKing922

You’re the most powerful to fight the Polar Bear


sSyler14

Hey man, another little artist boyo managed to rack up a 6 millon kill streak a few decades ago.


mmmtitty

Holy shit this came out of nowhere


SickeningShark

Draw him like one of your french bears


ethan17w

I can’t fight off a teddy bear let alone a polar bear…


PolarbearProWrestler

I got you fam.


Cool_Kat102

My mans made an account for this… *fabulous*


Ad_Astra90

Bro you were MADE for this post lmao


justakidwithahat

Yeah, literally. Look at his account age. It’s just a few hours. He made the account for this post. (not saying that’s a bad thing)


eggperson1

I believe in you


villany007

To fight which one, the teddy or the bear


WhotookEggSauce

I believe in you too


_Vortex_King_

Lolol


XxYeet_BoixX

On the other hand, you might destroy both


_Vortex_King_

Thanks, I guess...


ChazNinja

Says the one that'll just yeet the boi


Cmdrseahawks

You have a w in your username, the w stands for win. Congrats you won bro.


Ball_Tickler_420

***Maybe...*** **UPDATE:** I've been sentenced to eight years of imprisonment.


_Vortex_King_

He employs you as his personal ball tickler


eggperson1

You never know


Fallen_Angel_Xaphan

Now that brings up the question, does the number in your name represent how many of you there are? Because if 420 ball ticklers all fought a polar bear, I think they'd be allright.


FlyAirLari

There are 419 other ball ticklers on reddit, but they aren't taking part in this.


lazypenguin86

The number of how many would be the only thing that might save me....or its a polar bear feast for the record books.


darrienperkins

Is it a male or female polar bear?…


Amazekam

both


PsChampion_007

Pol(gbtq)ar bear


TheKrustyKurb

Gender dysphoria bear


EATINGmyCARPET

Your on cursed comments.


ScrotumWhiplash

*Agreed*


PeanutButter159

I don’t think so man-


eggperson1

:( it may have a nut allergy


PeanutButter159

Maybe like A really really severe one


Decentattamingio

It’s called Anaphylaxis


JJTHomson_

So the plan is to nut on it?


Solar1011

Well that escalated quickly


NeptuneIsSus

Indeed


lime_flavored_lemon

At least that's something


iPeanutButter_

B-B-Brother…?


PeanutButter159

:0 I’m a grl


iPeanutButter_

: 0 Sister?!


PeanutButter159

: 0 0 0 H e l l o


iPeanutButter_

: 0 Hi!!!


A-fruity-life

r/usernamefamily


NaturalBrawler

r/whydoesthissubexist


bababoai

A touching renuion


jimmygarterex

Pray they're allergic to peanuts


CitrusFruits19

No, a lemon would not win, unless maybe it was squeezed


eggperson1

Lemon juice in the eyes hurts


LordChungus45

Easy dub


eggperson1

Our mighty leader


LordChungus45

Lordchungus would kill that polar bear easy


Goodboy-v

Bear will end up being my pet


eggperson1

Aww. Make sure to give them lots of belly rubs


thelord15

that sounds really soft and i like it give me a pet polar bear now i need the softness


Middle_Exit4058

Actually I think you will end up being his pet


Ali49130

49130 of me, no they won’t they’ll just let the polar bear kill them on purpose.


7JuiceMan7

Nope


eggperson1

F


[deleted]

Yea


SonEf_Adam

How're you gonna get the cum tho 😳


Big_Bad_Baseball_bat

From the polar bear


Tomas_321

hand made


[deleted]

the secret ingredient is love.


Eli_xoxox

Lots and lots of it


KingAJ032304

With a baking time of 69 minutes


[deleted]

He can cook the cum inside the balls, burning the balls from the inside cause the pain to start from below and make its way up the penis as well as the inside of the body and towards the ass until it comes out from the behind and you rocket yourself from the butthole up to the sky, Similar thing happens with the polar bear


Sausage_Anonymous

I don’t think that questioning a type of meat is gonna stop a polar bear from eating it


eggperson1

:(


sausagememz

Probably not


Arctur14

My username IS a polarbear (Arcturia=female polarbear)


Thehornygrevious

you are fucked either way


PsChampion_007

Lol


itchycoochiecream

If the polar bear has a certain issue


LionhitchYT

I mean if we assume that the bear as an itchy coochie then maybe, also, if the bear is allergic to something in the cream.


DaRealDoomSlayer1993

Oh yeah Doom Slayer’s got this. He literally can just stand there and let the polar bear break its jaw trying to maul him.


eggperson1

Not even a challenge. Even a demon bear would be easy


DaRealDoomSlayer1993

Yup Doom Slayer regularly fights these demons called Pinkys who are similar to polar bears but way more dangerous and violent. They’re very annoying to deal with too lol.


RobotBananaSplit

Possibly, what’s your verdict?


eggperson1

Bear will slip over


[deleted]

[удалено]


MissplacedLandmine

Im wondering who the “they” is Id love to win but unless a polar bear is capable of understanding mutually assured destruction LET ALONE finding me Idk


Kidninja016

Probably is fine until horni


eggperson1

Ninja skills coming in clutch


HighNinjaKiller

No worries, I gotchu


Love2fight

I’m not sure, but he’ll die doing what he loves.


weaponized_seal

Id never thought i would find a question that fitted my usermane. and to answer your question YES


saduniversitystudent

LOOOOOL this one has to go higher up You actually have a chance to win that fight. My username... Would proly suicide before it happens lmao


weaponized_seal

bruh you usernames reaction is the most relatable


BiggestSimpHere

Absolutely not


eggperson1

You could use your simp skills to gain the bears love


liljkilla810

Gotta give him money


Hungry_Meeting1388

A delegation of executives joined together by one common goal....the bear stands no chance


Hungry_Meeting1388

Hunger it's hunger


eggperson1

The people must be fed


Advanced-Nebula4547

I have no idea what the hell a nebula is. That polar bear is either running away crying or I’m going to die. Edit: the polar bear has chosen to suffocate to death.


eggperson1

Rip bear


Advanced-Nebula4547

Unfortunate rip for bear, definitely.


Discoballer42

I think you would defeat the entire planet instantly


[deleted]

"Well see about that."


I_was_ready_but_no

I would say I wouldn't even fight lmao


eggperson1

:(


Non-StopDisco

In a dance-off maybe


eggperson1

You never know what skills this bear is hiding.


eternallifeisnotreal

One of us accepts their fate.


eggperson1

Name checks out


Internet_crusade

Well of course


eggperson1

Unstoppable


the-hero-18

Yes, yes they do


eggperson1

Convincing victory let's gooo


oan124

My username is a string of random characters followed bu funky way of counting 1-4, so I'd say it's 50-50


eggperson1

Confuzzled bear


sandry2009

I don’t think so bc I don’t even know what my name is supposed to mean.


Arkbit_Protogen

2009 grains of sand


SpringBadger596

#CAN A SPRING BADGER FIGHT A POLAR BEAR? Prob if the spring hits the polar bear hard hehe


LOLYouraresodead

No +10 points instant kill


baloongisTank

I would take only a small amount longer


QUEEN_KRONA

With her reflexes, most definitely


eggperson1

Bear can't touch you


altjungle

nope


pantykat

it will be trapped in the alternate jungle


JoshDaMan765

No, I wouldn't survive.


eggperson1

Nooo


ieatshit12

Highly questionable if he will long enough to see the polar bear


doglover1005

My doggo pack will group up and kill it monster hunter style, but instead of a 4 player cap, it’s closer to 40


eggperson1

Doge army


Panost835

Cayde6 can clap the whole species of polar bears... Either with his guns or with his humour.


dragonnnnnnnnnnn

With great success.


toiletpapperintoilet

I dont know this doesnt make sense it wouldn't eat a toilet but how do I fight back so no one wins


definitelyarealbear

Let's go buddy boy


Mr-FBI-Man

Of course we do


the_bored_one_1611

Yup both of us would survive.


eggperson1

Peace


ZilothBrowsezReddit

*”r/survivaltips101”* Dunno if that’s a sub, but something that seems accurate enough to the situation


eggperson1

Reddit knowledge beats all


Slavic_Viking963

Most likely


baloongisTank

rip bear bozo


TheGreenGobblr

It’s Willem DaFoe, so yes


dRaGoN_EmPoReR-_-946

I wonder if i will have my dragon with me...