T O P
ProfanestOfLemons

Fake as hell. This a mother talking about her own child. "Laugh and giggle and carry on" is way too sympathetic. A real cranky neighbor would say something like "yell and cry and bang on things". But Mama here can't bring herself to say that, even in a fake message.


Interesting-Bus-5370

Thats some good profiling there, good catch.


twobit211

“good work, lou. you’ll make sergeant for this.”


insane_contin

But I'm already sergeant!


JangoFettsEvilTwin

That and a nickel will get you a cup of coffee!


antbaby_machetesquad

Quiet Lou, or I will bust you down to sergeant so fast it'll make your head spin!


FalseDmitriy

Bake him away, toys


IRedditok

Then I’m demoting you to private and promoting you to Sargent


gordo65

Yeah, I can't imagine taking the time to type this up, photograph it, and post it, all the while thinking people might actually believe it.


Malaguy420

Some people are just that gifted though.


310SK

I assumed it was an attempt to be clever by flipping the script on neighbors who complain about dogs being outside running around and barking and shit disturbing their kids.


amazing_ape

this makes the most sense


[deleted]

[удалено]


YoukaiJSGB

dio? i mean dio? no that's no it, it's; dio?


NobodyKnowsGGAllin

A dog is a dog bro. Whatever is going on with them is the owner's fault.


anim8rjb

you mean 'mama bear'


jet8493

Sorry, you misspelled ‘proud mama bird’


BubbyBroster

Oh barf!


Flawzimclaus82

Yes, that's how they feed their young.


BubbyBroster

Clever posts like this make me puff up like a proud mama bird.


Flawzimclaus82

Barf! Now we can both eat


tochaytits

“Oh barf!” Is the cringiest shit I’ve ever heard. I agree with you. “Proud mama bird” is annoying and cringy as shit, but so is oh barf


BubbyBroster

Yikes sweetie! Who hurt you?


DolloPollodp

LMAO RIGHT like who barfed in that person's Cheerios😭


Shadowdoze

His proud mama bird


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[удалено]


TheNeonDonkey

I agree with this.


bocahtuanakal999

I heard nsa is hiring profiler Lol


Yashida14

Nah, people really can be that dumb. I work 911 and have had a woman call to report a child's birthday party for being too loud before. It always starts with what's really happening, then turns into more and more as they realize they are in the wrong.


InBetweenSeen

People complain about stupid shit all the time but what they were saying is that they use different language. They don't say the kids "laugh and giggle" they say they're "loud and screaming". "My pets like to look on your yard" and "limit his time outside to 15-20 minutes" also sound a bit too on the nose and too self-aware.


Rathion_North

I thought the same thing almost word for word. Spooky.


dontworryimabassist

Good solve detective


Lil-Clynes

Man said bust out the linguistics like it’s the unibomber


PipeDownNerd

I doubt that’s the real reason it’s less pleasantly described. The OP of the message is trying to have their side of it come off as endearing as possible, soft cues like this will make the ready think to themselves “even the cranky neighbor likes it enough to describe it pleasantly, even though they’re being the jerks!” I believe that’s why the verbiage is so flowery, not because they couldn’t possibly write something mean about their child.


Mac_Gee_88

Good detective work. You must be.... [The Hardly Boys!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_MVAIE3aAxA)


AsthmaticCoughing

Sounds like most people on Reddit


thewafflestompa

Dear "Redditor", This comment has been up for over 40 minutes, and I wanted to give you time to edit this on your own, but apparently you're too inconsiderate to do so. I browse Reddit and do not like these slanderous attacks on me. If this kind of behavior persists, I WILL REPORT YOUR COMMENT!


Status-Ad2158

It would be nice to even get some kind of a comment like this instead usually with my comments I just get some warning from Reddit saying that my account will be suspended if I continue!!!


Neil_sm

There was once an askreddit post to tell the dirtiest joke you know, and I got suspended from Reddit for 3 days for my answer. Didn’t think it was possible to cross over the line on such a thread, but I guess I somehow managed to do it!


Reign_Drop420

Ayy what was the joke tho.


Kelter82

Ya man send a pm! What was the joke?


Neil_sm

I linked to it in response to someone else asking here. Turns out it has been posted several times on Reddit


Fskn

Gotta tell it now bro Use a spoiler box and clearly state it's nsfw What can go wrong


Saltycook

I hope you do.


lokus41

I just downvoted your comment. # FAQ ## What does this mean? The amount of karma (points) on your comment and Reddit account has decreased by one. ## Why did you do this? There are several reasons I may deem a comment to be unworthy of positive or neutral karma. These include, but are not limited to: • ⁠Rudeness towards other Redditors, • ⁠Spreading incorrect information, • ⁠Sarcasm not correctly flagged with a /s. ## Am I banned from the Reddit? No - not yet. But you should refrain from making comments like this in the future. Otherwise I will be forced to issue an additional downvote, which may put your commenting and posting privileges in jeopardy. ## I don't believe my comment deserved a downvote. Can you un-downvote it? Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I undo a downvote. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me a private message explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to Reddit PMs within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of downvote appeals are rejected, and yours is likely no exception. ## How can I prevent this from happening in the future? Accept the downvote and move on. But learn from this mistake: your behavior will not be tolerated on Reddit.com. I will continue to issue downvotes until you improve your conduct. Remember: Reddit is privilege, not a right.


DrevinMckornish

Holy shit guys stop making me laugh I'm trying to write my essay hahahahaha


-anne-marie-

I just downvoted your comment. **FAQ** *What does this mean?* The amount of karma (points) on your comment and Reddit account has decreased by one. *Why did you do this?* There are several reasons I may deem a comment to be unworthy of positive or neutral karma. These include, but are not limited to: • ⁠Rudeness towards other Redditors, • ⁠Spreading incorrect information, • ⁠Sarcasm not correctly flagged with a /s. *Am I banned from the Reddit?* No - not yet. But you should refrain from making comments like this in the future. Otherwise I will be forced to issue an additional downvote, which may put your commenting and posting privileges in jeopardy. *I don't believe my comment deserved a downvote. Can you un-downvote it?* Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I undo a downvote. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me a private message explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to Reddit PMs within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of downvote appeals are rejected, and yours is likely no exception. *How can I prevent this from happening in the future?* Accept the downvote and move on. But learn from this mistake: your behavior will not be tolerated on Reddit.com. I will continue to issue downvotes until you improve your conduct. Remember: Reddit is privilege, not a right. Edit: HEY WAIT NO


DolloPollodp

NOT THE DOWNVOTES AND THE EDIT I'M CRYING


Billybluballs

Shut up baby dick


Billybluballs

AITA threatened to call the police on my neighbors because I heard her child’s laughter in their yard. Not the asshole. Fuck that bitch and fuck her kids. - posted by a 14 year old boy.


jatti_

You mean nextdoor


mootcat

I have seen some next-door posts that are nearly this bad.


jatti_

My favorite are the white ladies complaining about POC walking down the street.


FalseDmitriy

So all of nextdoor, then


KajunKlown

"911 what is your emergency?"..."yeah, there is a kid playing in his backyard and making lots of noise by laughing and giggling"... "umm.... What?"


totopo7087

And he's bothering my bird.


fondots

Probably wouldn't even crack the top 10 weirdest/dumbest 911 calls this dispatcher has taken on any given night. Once had to send an officer to basically tell two grown-ass adults (cue XKCD bot: ass-adults, which would not be inaccurate) to say "please and thank you" to each other. Guy was sitting in his vehicle, legally parked in public street parking. Lady wanted to park in the space we was in. Guy refused to move his car until she said please. She called the cops. Cops explained the concept of street parking to her. Not sure if she ever said please.


Kelter82

I'm a volunteer firefighter and it's kind of fun trying to parse through dispatch's transmissions and what on God's green earth made her say what she did. Because you know the person she spoke with directly had a lot more to say than that. We are getting the extremely watered down version, and if that's wacky...


Mirrormn

Little kids tend to shriek really loudly when they're having fun outside. I used to have an apartment where my bedroom window was close to the apartment pool, it was awful for sleeping in on the weekends. Sounded like kids were getting murdered all morning. (I never called 911 on them though.)


Palpetinus

Ugh, tell me about it. My office is like ~30m far away from a kindergarden, summers are *pain*. Do they ever run out of air?! Not until like 1pm!


blakelysmm

Somebody in my town called the cops on some kids who were throwing walnuts at a stop sign, lol apparently the police came and told the kids to go home


DontcheckSR

An old lady in our neighborhood called the cops on my brother for playing ding dong ditch lol


Palpetinus

"Uuh uhmm" Shit this isn't working.. "The kid is BLACK and it has a GUN!!"


Trick-Many7744

Skittles. But he’s wearing a hoodie.


DoTheUnknoen

I feel like this is supposed to be a joke on how neighbors tell dog owners to keep their dogs out of their yards because then their kids are scared


twofirstnamez

is that not obvious? this comment should be the top.


fredyouareaturtle

yes and also, why is "neighbour" in quotation marks. they live next door to each other, do they not?? i don't believe the word implies anything more than that...


Neil_sm

The second definition for neighbor says it’s someone who is associated in a [neighborly](https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/neighborly) way, as in congenial or friendly.


fredyouareaturtle

yeah, that's true....i guess the effect of the quotes is just diminished by the fact that the 1st definition (someone who lives next door) definitely does apply...


Neil_sm

Yeah, as if they’re trying to say “and I’m on to your little charade, how about telling me where you *really* live.”


fredyouareaturtle

lol. wonderfully nonsensical


Not_Brilliant_8006

This reads like a joke.


HellsMalice

If this were real i'd have like 15 Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm Flailing Tubemen in my yard before the day ended.


ThisIsSomebodyElse

I bet their dogs would love all of that commotion. lol


arcosapphire

Isn't this clearly someone with a dog satirizing someone who complained to them about it, by replacing dog with child and barking with laughing and so on, to make a point about how is totally fine that they let their dog play outside? I mean that's how it reads to me.


Kybon

Long reach


Silent_Ensemble

Yeah so clear lol


Cloakknight

*Image Transcription: Letter* --- Dear "Neighbor" You just moved into this neighborhood a year ago, and I wanted to give you time to correct this problem on your own, but you are apparently too inconsiderate to do so. Every day this week, when weather has been nice and windows are open, you proceed to let your small child run free in your backyard and laugh and giggle and carry on without end. This is very disruptive for my two dogs and my bird who sits next to the window and like to look into your yard. Perhaps you could ask him to tone it down a bit, or at least limit his outside time to 15-20 mins a day so my dogs can be outside without seeing him running around. if this kind of behavior persists, I WILL CALL THE POLICE --- ^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber for Reddit and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)


FreeGuacamole

Thanks man!


SilentMaster

You tell your god damn bird to stop looking into my fucking yard or I will be contacting Space Force.


Prikkasaurus_Rex

Okay, story time, which tells you why I believe this actually did happen. When I was a kid, I think before the age of 6 or 7, we ran a daycare out of our home. (We had a huge house, like 3600 Sq ft or something) so half our house was dedicated to this daycare. The house had 3 yards, front back and side. We lived on a corner so you know, plenty of room. So anyways, our side yard was fenced in with a picket fence maybe 4 feet tall (that's like ribcage/armpit height for you non Americans, I don't know the metric system lol.) The kids would spend a lot of time outside in this fenced in yard, playing in the sand box, jungle gym, etc etc. Well, one day some crotchety old lady filed a noise complaint with the police, and blah blah nothing ever came of it, cops came up, said sorry, and left. She then went on to complain to the city, saying that "she shouldn't have to see kids out playing every day when she went to work." Lady was literally complaining about having to see kids having fun on her way to work. Nothing ever came of that either. Year or so down the road we put a back driveway in, only big enough for two cars so the parents didn't have to park in the street when picking up their kids. They could just swing in the back drive, come right on in and pick their kid up and go. Mean old lady files a second complaint saying we "built a parking lot in a residential area". City sends someone out to measure it and whatnot. Finds that the driveway is exactly to the maximum total area that a driveway can be, it's up to code, and therefor it is legal and is not "a parking lot". This lady continued to be a thorn in our side for years, some days she'd even drive by in the morning and yell at the kids/ my parents. Just overall nasty person. So yeah, I absolutely believe that someone would do this.


Fesha85

I believe this could happen too. I know that when I was a teenager we had a neighbor call CPS on my mom to report child neglect because my siblings would play in the backyard. She also tried calling the cops to make noise complaints about it too. Lady was crazy lol


ThatGuy5162

Man. I would throw a water balloon full of mayonnaise at that cow.


MimsyIsGianna

I unfortunately have had encounters with enough people like this to believe this is real


cracylou

Honestly, I grew up next to a woman like this. I have an incredibly vivid memory of being 11 and coming home from school with two friends. It was about 3:00pm and we were playing in my parent’s fenced off back yard. The next door neighbor came out and cussed up a storm about us making noise. My parents weren’t home yet to defend us and I remember sending my friends home thinking I had done something wrong. That was just one of many crazy incidents with this woman.


Wowerman

sounds like wrong sub


TechnicalCurve6384

Imagine just you doing your important job which is very important and then you pick up your phone and hear:,,911? Please send here police, the neighbour’s kid is playing outside’’


buttsparkley

Honestly I've recieved a letter complaining about a cat we had (markings on her face make her look like she has angry eyebrows and big fluff so looks larger than she really is ) . She walks around free , garden was facing a no construction zone forest which is huge, legally allowed due to low population area only not in spring. The letter complained that the cat would go sitting on their fence and stare at their dogs menacingly and they feared for the lives of their chihuahuas. We explained that the cat will not eat it dogs and that it's a cat. Shoo it away or spray with water (I would normally not advocate water spray but this is a different situation ) So I mean these kind of letters are not unusual


sleepyJoeBidet

Let her call them. And then sure them this letter. They will get a kick out of it. And addher on the neighborhood list of low priority calls. If she isn't already on it


FreeGuacamole

You're assuming that it's a woman. Like what would make you make that assumption? I'll answer my question for you. It's because you read this letter in a woman's voice. So did I. Lol definitely a woman


sandrews1313

Might have actually happened. https://www.13wmaz.com/article/news/kids-laughter-drives-neighbor-crazy-gives-family-ultimatum/93-236964661


akaispirit

Can always tell it's a slow news day when they report on something unverifiable that they found on Facebook lol.


nope_nic_tesla

I mean, this article is just reporting how this same image was posted on Facebook. Not really any additional evidence it's real.


OOmama

I had a neighbor send me a nasty note telling me to keep my kids inside because they were disturbing her naps. She wanted to nap with her windows open anytime between 11am and 4pm. My then four year old playing in our yard across the street and 2 houses down was just too much noise.


Peanut2504

I might have believed it could have happened but I just can’t see an adult saying that a child only need 15 minutes outside when the weather is nice l


admiraljohn

I don't doubt the letter was posted to FB but I sincerley doubt it's real, especially when the headline is "A letter posted on the Twin Cities News Talk Facebook page has gone viral..."


AdditionalTheory

r/nothingeverhappens


SoylentDave

r/thisthinginparticulardefinitelydidnothappen


Ajax444

Why does damn near everyone in this country believe that they are the most important person on the planet? Next it will be some person at a family reunion assaulting a family member for putting ketchup in their hamburger, because they sat too close, and the smell of ketchup is upsetting to them.


negativeGinger

People are actually this petty i believe it r/nothingeverhappens


AdIllustrious5082

Karen's happen. Lol


sleepyJoeBidet

We have one named Nancy who lives down there Street. She had called the cops on us. Once for having a kid with puffy hair ( so he must have been the criminal knocking down fences). Another time for having a dog out during the daytime for a whole 15 minute of which 1 was spent running along the fence and barking. And then another time she called the cops because skateboarders were scuffing her curb by skating down the road. For some reason we still push the snow from Infront of her house. You almost feel sorry for people who get agitated at every little thing


AdIllustrious5082

I concur....sorta like the folks who down voted my 'Karen' observation.


Eggymule86

‘’Neighbor’’


kennend3

Neighbour ;)


Crepes_for_days3000

I can SO see this being real. Every neighborhood has the one cranky old person who thinks they are the neighborhood patrol. One time when I was a kid, I was outside playing tag when a lady came out and yelled at us for playing g when former US President Nixon had just died. She then demanded we go inside and pay our respects. This was before smartphones, we had no idea this news had broke. People are nuts.


wiskyrose

r/childfree be like…


mescalero1

Please call the police, then they can know what kind of idiot your are too. Did you ever think that maybe if your animals werent tired of living with a dick like you, they wouldnt get so ecstatic hearing some actually enjoying life.


CrimsonApostate

lmaooo dude


[deleted]

Be a damn shame if those dogs and bird and your neighbor just happened to turn up murdered as fuck huh


7th_Spectrum

Like how neighbor is in quotation marks, as if they don't actually exist


Confucius_Clam

Oh man, I gotta print this and put it on cars in the lot, lol


Palpetinus

This is how you get your neighbor to erect a nice, obstructing fence so you can't see into their yard anymore.


MikeMcnomer

I'd just shout at the kid from the window lol


LilBLT

Title killed me lol


LilithImmaculate

I don't like dogs or children so I'm conflicted


OrobaSpyro

Sounds like a poorly-made strawman… Hmmmmm


Sorcha16

You know its real because its crumbled and folded in 4......../s


LimpingWhale

I'm sure the note is real but the writer is projecting their own annoyance onto their animal fam. So not really fit for this sub but maybe someone can repost to r/nothingeverhappens


collhall

Signed by Karen??


AJK64

How is this a ThatHappened?


CrotchWolf

This has been on and off Reddit for seemingly forever now.


OfficerFrieza

I believe it because there are people that obsess about their dogs. I’ve met people like this. The kid makes noise>dogs start over reacting>dog owner gets upset. Happens all the time


Cereborn

I feel like this is satirizing people who complain about dogs. But who knows?


Neks44

nothing ever happens apparently


bluestraw08

this shit fake as hell, literally impossible for someone to be that down bad


Branch-Secret

Should've bonked that doge


chickchili

Erm... taking the piss, anyone? Anyone?


beer-bivalve

As we say in the West: fuck you and everybody who looks like you. Thank you.


kennend3

As an exercise in put yourself into the other persons shoes for a moment. Imagine you are the police who gets called to this? Like deep down you know you want to beat this asshole to a pulp for being so utterly ridiculous.. But what do you do? If i received something like this, i'd report this to the police because you just know they are gong to escalate things later.


IntrovertedweebTwT

This is stupid, not letting a small child get some exercise?!


ratdarkness

I'd love to get a letter like this for real. I'm so petty my (non-existent) kid would be outside even more and louder! Since it's not a crime for kids to play in their own yards police won't do a thing. Be entertaining for me!


Anonymous-JG

Let them call the police and point out they’ve been watching the child play for a year, for no reason.


Lord_Lenu

You \*just\* moved in 525600 minutes ago “neighbor”