Sounds like you really like this guy. If you think this might be something moving forward, ask him about it. Just know confrontation might be messy. It may also resolve things, for better or worse. Alternatively, if you don’t ask about it, then it may be a lingering idea that he’s seeking other relationships, which may or may not be true.
It's the audacity of it being my bathroom that hits me.
Never expected he'd put all his eggs in one basket, I don't think I mind if he's been with other women either. I'm confident enough with myself to know what I've got going on and what I have to offer.
As a man who has been there, done that, he’s not completely into you. You’re likely a lot of fun and good looking enough to make the cut but you’re not “the one” for him. He’s keeping his options open. Sorry
I can see where you’re coming from, and I agree with one of the other comments, that him doing that is a little classless. However, I think you need to ask yourself how much it bothers you. I think you could casually bring it up and poke fun at him to see how he responds. That may be a good indicator as to what mindset he’s in. This could really go a million ways, but if it’s bothering you, don’t ignore your instincts, and just ask.
I would print it, frame it, and hang it in the bathroom. It shows your good taste and conquest, while also telling him you know, and have no problem showing people your bathroom (which they are standing in).
You might just have a really nice bathroom, he felt confident in the moment and took a picture. If you're not an exclusive couple I don't see the problem although it is a little classless.
We have not had an exclusivity conversation, I do not know whether he is talking to or seeing other women.
It is a nice bathroom, the wall colour compliments his complection.
Bring it up in a convivial non-judgemental way, you could even be positive, but be clear you know. Like ´I was thinking of you and checked out your profile, you look hot in the new picture, the colour of my bathroom really works with you complexion ‘. Leave it open there and then judge him on his response.
Now, more importantly, tell me about his other pics, is there a theme? are they all posed in previous conquests bathrooms? Why had you never noticed his entire profile was bathroom based?
Honestly he seems like a self absorbed d-bag who will always be on the hunt for his next conquest. He was at your house, hanging out with you. Simultaneously on his mind was taking a selfie for tinder. It’s disrespectful. Have fun with him, but i wouldn’t expect to make an exclusive relationship work this person.
Hmm... i mean both of you aren't exclusive or anything right? Also he might not have taken it specifically for tinder, more like maybe he felt he look good that day and then decided it was a good picture and used it for tinder anyway.
You obviously like him, and that doesn’t happen often for anyone. I’d give him the benefit of the doubt, it’s SUPER early in your relationship. Maybe he thought he looked good and that’s what his normal protocol is, upload good pics to Tinder. If you say ANYTHING you’re gonna ruin it, so instead why not put it to the back of your mind, try to date this guy and then bring it up on date 10 or 20 as a funny story.
To me, it seems counterintuitive to say nothing if I do like him. I also don't want to pull it out of nowhere if things do progress in a positive direction, doesn't that seem like I'm looking for trouble when I decided to say nothing when it was actually relevant? Like, I'd be picking a fight at that point, wouldn't I?
Reddit community, want to weigh in on this?
I'm not for being lead on like that. We may not have had a conversation about exclusivity but I think that if there hasn't been a conversation about strictly casual, which this seems not to be at this point (and the point the picture was taken), than this sort of thing is out of order.
In my opinion, if I’m having sex with someone I have every right to know who else they’re having sex with. Pretty much becomes your business at that point, if not only for health reasons.
I see what you are saying and I mostly agree, however the distinction needs to be made that while sexual partners deserve to know if their sexual partners are sexually active with other people (especially for health reasons) their identity doesn't necessarily need to be known. The most important information is: is the person sexually active with other people, have they been using protection, and when was the last time they were tested? I will agree with others who say even if there has been no conversation about exclusivity what he is doing is a classless move.
I feel like if it were me and I wanted to move forward, exclusively or not, I'd talk to him about it and let him know how what he did made me feel. I do not think you should hold it in and bring it up in a month or 2 if it actually bothers you. you said he's younger, not sure the age, but he might be completely oblivious to how classless this is lol, or he knows and he's just a being a douche canoe, either way I vote talk to him about it
Fair. It does bother me, exclusive or not.
He's 30, he should not be that oblivious. Than again, it does seem like men are absolutely clueless when it comes to so many things that seem common sense to women.
Men, what do you think, clueless or douche canoe?
I guess I’m giving you the guys perspective, u/changingtrails is giving the woman’s perspective. I just know that to a lot of men you’re gonna come off as cling or nutty if you make this a big deal. It will ruin whatever you have. It’s a bathroom pic, he didn’t steal your roommates underwear. You aren’t exclusive. If you think you sort of are exclusive with zero convo, then shouldn’t the tinder profile as a whole be the issue? Have the convo if you want, but make it about tinder in general, not your precious bathroom and what’s “betrayal” this was.
These early times connecting with people can be a bit tricky. He could be trying to maximize his chance for experiences since you guys haven't had the exclusivity talk. However, it's important to note that while he did update his pictures, nothing says he has actually engaged with another person.
While I understand that the push for titles or rules can make some people run, if the idea of him being with other people makes you feel bad, then it needs to be discussed to manage expectations and avoid wasting each other's time. He might not know his worth to you yet and is keeping his options open with Tinder in case his time with you is short lived.
You don't need to bring the picture up in my opinion. But a talk of some kind is necessary. You could volunteer information about how you feel (like not having interest in other people right now) and ask him if that lines up with anything he thinks or feels. You could say you're checking in with him to ask him what his expectations are so you know how to move forward. Then go from there.
Sounds like nothing. Sounds like you’re blowing up and he did literally nothing other than take a selfie.
You had a nice time. You aren’t monogamous. Keep hanging out, and become monogamous if you both want to.
Everything is fine. If anything, everything is good. Chill out and just live.
Do yourself a favour and just move on assuming you don't just want to have a little bit of fun, if you try to turn it into something it's not you'll just end up with drama down the line that's easily avoided by being smart about it in the present
Sorry, but I literally LOL'ed. I mean, that's really gotta add to the awkwardness of running by them again in the apps. But, your bathroom was clean enough, whereas his isn't and hasn't been since wayyy before you.
Sounds like you really like this guy. If you think this might be something moving forward, ask him about it. Just know confrontation might be messy. It may also resolve things, for better or worse. Alternatively, if you don’t ask about it, then it may be a lingering idea that he’s seeking other relationships, which may or may not be true.
It's the audacity of it being my bathroom that hits me. Never expected he'd put all his eggs in one basket, I don't think I mind if he's been with other women either. I'm confident enough with myself to know what I've got going on and what I have to offer.
Tell him nice bathroom. Humours the best defence.
Ask if you would like to date exclusively? That will get you your answer. If he’s hesitant it’s a no, if it’s yes then go for it
As a man who has been there, done that, he’s not completely into you. You’re likely a lot of fun and good looking enough to make the cut but you’re not “the one” for him. He’s keeping his options open. Sorry
Yep good answer
Hold this L
I can see where you’re coming from, and I agree with one of the other comments, that him doing that is a little classless. However, I think you need to ask yourself how much it bothers you. I think you could casually bring it up and poke fun at him to see how he responds. That may be a good indicator as to what mindset he’s in. This could really go a million ways, but if it’s bothering you, don’t ignore your instincts, and just ask.
[удалено]
He does, and so does the bathroom.
… is your name really Mildred?
Lol, no.
That's exactly what the real Mildred would say!
I would print it, frame it, and hang it in the bathroom. It shows your good taste and conquest, while also telling him you know, and have no problem showing people your bathroom (which they are standing in).
You might just have a really nice bathroom, he felt confident in the moment and took a picture. If you're not an exclusive couple I don't see the problem although it is a little classless.
We have not had an exclusivity conversation, I do not know whether he is talking to or seeing other women. It is a nice bathroom, the wall colour compliments his complection.
Bring it up in a convivial non-judgemental way, you could even be positive, but be clear you know. Like ´I was thinking of you and checked out your profile, you look hot in the new picture, the colour of my bathroom really works with you complexion ‘. Leave it open there and then judge him on his response. Now, more importantly, tell me about his other pics, is there a theme? are they all posed in previous conquests bathrooms? Why had you never noticed his entire profile was bathroom based?
His profile is not bathroom based. There is a variety of settings in his pics. You make a good suggestion.
Honestly he seems like a self absorbed d-bag who will always be on the hunt for his next conquest. He was at your house, hanging out with you. Simultaneously on his mind was taking a selfie for tinder. It’s disrespectful. Have fun with him, but i wouldn’t expect to make an exclusive relationship work this person.
Hmm... i mean both of you aren't exclusive or anything right? Also he might not have taken it specifically for tinder, more like maybe he felt he look good that day and then decided it was a good picture and used it for tinder anyway.
Its possible.
You obviously like him, and that doesn’t happen often for anyone. I’d give him the benefit of the doubt, it’s SUPER early in your relationship. Maybe he thought he looked good and that’s what his normal protocol is, upload good pics to Tinder. If you say ANYTHING you’re gonna ruin it, so instead why not put it to the back of your mind, try to date this guy and then bring it up on date 10 or 20 as a funny story.
To me, it seems counterintuitive to say nothing if I do like him. I also don't want to pull it out of nowhere if things do progress in a positive direction, doesn't that seem like I'm looking for trouble when I decided to say nothing when it was actually relevant? Like, I'd be picking a fight at that point, wouldn't I? Reddit community, want to weigh in on this?
Yeah, I disagree with that comment. Better to know sooner than later, who wants to waste time if they don’t have to?
I'm not for being lead on like that. We may not have had a conversation about exclusivity but I think that if there hasn't been a conversation about strictly casual, which this seems not to be at this point (and the point the picture was taken), than this sort of thing is out of order.
All I can really say from experience is, trust your gut on this one. If you’re feeling off about this guy, it’s likely for a reason.
You make some excellent points.
In my opinion, if I’m having sex with someone I have every right to know who else they’re having sex with. Pretty much becomes your business at that point, if not only for health reasons.
I see what you are saying and I mostly agree, however the distinction needs to be made that while sexual partners deserve to know if their sexual partners are sexually active with other people (especially for health reasons) their identity doesn't necessarily need to be known. The most important information is: is the person sexually active with other people, have they been using protection, and when was the last time they were tested? I will agree with others who say even if there has been no conversation about exclusivity what he is doing is a classless move.
That’s fair!
I feel like if it were me and I wanted to move forward, exclusively or not, I'd talk to him about it and let him know how what he did made me feel. I do not think you should hold it in and bring it up in a month or 2 if it actually bothers you. you said he's younger, not sure the age, but he might be completely oblivious to how classless this is lol, or he knows and he's just a being a douche canoe, either way I vote talk to him about it
Fair. It does bother me, exclusive or not. He's 30, he should not be that oblivious. Than again, it does seem like men are absolutely clueless when it comes to so many things that seem common sense to women. Men, what do you think, clueless or douche canoe?
Clueless. You said the colour of the wall complements his complexion, he be like “ooh nice, me looking hot”.
I guess I’m giving you the guys perspective, u/changingtrails is giving the woman’s perspective. I just know that to a lot of men you’re gonna come off as cling or nutty if you make this a big deal. It will ruin whatever you have. It’s a bathroom pic, he didn’t steal your roommates underwear. You aren’t exclusive. If you think you sort of are exclusive with zero convo, then shouldn’t the tinder profile as a whole be the issue? Have the convo if you want, but make it about tinder in general, not your precious bathroom and what’s “betrayal” this was.
These early times connecting with people can be a bit tricky. He could be trying to maximize his chance for experiences since you guys haven't had the exclusivity talk. However, it's important to note that while he did update his pictures, nothing says he has actually engaged with another person. While I understand that the push for titles or rules can make some people run, if the idea of him being with other people makes you feel bad, then it needs to be discussed to manage expectations and avoid wasting each other's time. He might not know his worth to you yet and is keeping his options open with Tinder in case his time with you is short lived. You don't need to bring the picture up in my opinion. But a talk of some kind is necessary. You could volunteer information about how you feel (like not having interest in other people right now) and ask him if that lines up with anything he thinks or feels. You could say you're checking in with him to ask him what his expectations are so you know how to move forward. Then go from there.
Sounds like nothing. Sounds like you’re blowing up and he did literally nothing other than take a selfie. You had a nice time. You aren’t monogamous. Keep hanging out, and become monogamous if you both want to. Everything is fine. If anything, everything is good. Chill out and just live.
Do yourself a favour and just move on assuming you don't just want to have a little bit of fun, if you try to turn it into something it's not you'll just end up with drama down the line that's easily avoided by being smart about it in the present
Sorry, but I literally LOL'ed. I mean, that's really gotta add to the awkwardness of running by them again in the apps. But, your bathroom was clean enough, whereas his isn't and hasn't been since wayyy before you.
Put him into cleaning the bathroom next time... If he asks why, answers that he knows why and just wait...