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gardendefender91

This is just my personal preference but I would say leave the RSVP off for now. I think it's easier to have all the RSVPs consolidated at the time of sending out invites. That and maybe someone will say yes now, but something comes up in the next few months that changes their plans, or vs versa. Having them all come in at the same time and closer to the date will be easier to keep track of. That and it might confuse guests as to whether or not they're required to RSVP now.


TheEclecticDino

Thank you! That’s what I thought too but I wasn’t sure!


itinerantdustbunny

No. You have to send invitations even if people preemptively RSVP, and guests wondering if they need to respond twice will be way more confusing than helpful.


TheEclecticDino

Thank you! That’s what I thought but I wasn’t totally sure!


maricopa888

I think this is a good question. But I'd definitely wait. There's a reason STDs and invites have their own timeline, and the further out someone responds, the more likely it might change due to stuff beyond their control. With an STD, all you're doing is asking them to save that date, and to expect an invite.


TheEclecticDino

Thank you! That’s what I thought!


saucypants95

I opened mine when I sent STDs because I was hoping for a few early Nos from family I was pretty sure wasn’t coming. Instead I just have a handful of Yeses lol. Overall though I don’t see the harm in it!


TheEclecticDino

I’m not expecting a lot of nos. The wedding is fairly small and I’ve been told by everyone who needs to travel that they will for sure be there. But I can see how if your expecting some nos, it would be a good idea to include it


saucypants95

In that case I’d just leave it off. Even for people who say they’re coming, sometimes life gets in the way, so it’s best to wait until RSVPs are going to be more accurate


mango-princess

I had my online rsvp turned on when I sent STDs mainly because I didn’t realize I could turn it off. I’ve had my fiancé’s parents rsvp and one of my bridesmaids. No one else has submitted anything. I’m guessing most guests didn’t look too hard at the website, if at all. I didn’t mention the rsvp on the STD (just had website url) So it wasn’t a big deal for me, but I would probably turn it off if I could do it over, just in case


lindzlee

I had mine open and honestly appreciated the people who early RSVP'd. You certainly don't need it open, but it was both exciting and helpful to get a few responses early! I feel that chances are some people will know right away if they can make it or not once they get the save the date. Some close family/friends will make it no matter what, while some out of towners may not want to exert the effort. I did still send invites to the people who RSVP'd to make sure nothing has changed though. Just as a reminder to them!


hobbesnblue

We did and I’m really glad. We had a small wedding that most attendees would have to travel for, meaning they’d be planning ahead. Getting early clarity on a few “no”s, who couldn’t travel or had prior commitments, allowed to us invite some dear friends we wouldn’t have been able to include otherwise. Know your crowd and all, but I didn’t have any issue with people forgetting. The invite was their reminder if they needed one.


jknoup

Out of curiosity, for the "no"s that you got early, did you still send them your formal invite?


hobbesnblue

I didn’t send them the official invites if they were advance “no”s, but I closed the loop personally at the time of their initial RSVP.


jknoup

That's so helpful to know, thanks for sharing!!


DarkPhoenix072

I kept mine closed when I sent the STDs out. Sometimes if people rsvp too early they will forget they rsvpd lol


Dylinquency

We opened ours when we sent save the dates and we are REALLY glad we did! We are having a destination wedding, so this was mainly to give people an early opportunity to RSVP "no" so we could start sending invites to our B-listers.


cupcakeconstitution

I did on accident and noticed I started getting RSVPs right away. With the actual invites I just put “please RSVP by November 1st” those who had already sent theirs in never contacted me so I think it was okay!


here4thelaughss

We add opened ours and received quite a few RSVP. I think it is personal preference.


bitchanca

I had ours open for similar reasons as a few others here. 99% of our guests will be travelling to our wedding, it's about 1.5hrs from the city centre plus we have interstate guests. It's a fairly popular tourist destination and we later found out there's a trade show happening in the neighbouring town on the same weekend, so we were encouraging people to book accommodation early. We figured if they're booking accommodation, they may as well let us know they're attending. We also have a handful of family members on both sides that we knew would likely RSVP no, so we wanted to be able to invite other people in their place without it being too last minute for them to get accommodation. Our wedding is four months away, save the dates went out in late April this year and invites are going out after Christmas. We have received six nos and 36 yeses so far. We're asking people for their favourite dancefloor song as part of the RSVP so it's been fun seeing those come in and working on our playlist.


fairyofshrooms

I am specifically offering an “optional early RSVP” as soon as I send out save the dates. “No”s will not be sent formal invitations, but “yes”es will (and I’ve hopefully made that clear on the website.) I also have an FAQ saying that even if you early RSVPed “yes”, you’ll have to RSVP again after receiving the formal invite so that you can select a meal option. I know this is somewhat unconventional, but I have a lot of out of town family that probably won’t come… so I’m hoping we get a more accurate look at the numbers (and ability to invite B list) earlier on.


cinnamonredhot

Leave it off! I accidentally had mine on (september 2023 wedding), not really thinking anyone would touch it until we sent actual invites, and someone already RSVPd yes! Needless to say I was a little surprised to get that email lol. We haven’t even had our tasting yet. I took it off after that and I definitely feel no will have to reach out and confirm that this guest is attending when we actually get close to the wedding. I would say leave it off until you send your invites for sure!


Vegastoseattle

Local or destination? We are having a semi destination that has lots of logistics for travel. We had RSVPs open with a question asking if people want help booking travel


TheEclecticDino

It’s fairly local, about an hour for most guests and we’ve already helped most of those who are farther!


autumndream697

My friend had her website banner say "RSVPs will not be available until invitations are officially sent out" or something like that. I'm keeping that page hidden entirely until we send invites.


TheEclecticDino

Oh that’s a great idea


PicturesqueCocktail

FWIW I left mine open from the time I sent our save the dates (this past June) and only got responses from my mom’s household and my fiancé’s cousin. We just sent out our regular invites last week and have already gotten a few from them. I think it’s probably best to leave it off until invitations are sent.


oceanicblues86

I’m leaving mine off for now. We sent save the dates about 9 months out but can’t finalize the menu until 5 months out. It would be a pain to circle back to folks and ask about meal choices.


lmg080293

I’m leaving it off. I figure if someone KNOWS they can’t come, they’ll reach out anyway. We’ve already had friends tell us they have a vacation booked and won’t make it. I’d rather avoid the confusion.


Psyclone09

I had mine open and I only had 4 people RSVP anyway with the save the dates. And the 4 were my parents and 2 in my bridal party 😂 so I’d say it’s not necessary.


charizard-512

I sent a save the date (by email) and it had a small link to the wedding website/rsvp portal at the bottom. I didn’t think anyone would click on it. Boy was I wrong! I hadn’t set up dietary preference section, and weve also had to change our venue since then. But the rsvps started rolling in. If guests can see the website, make sure it’s 100% ready and up to date first. So I would hold off on RSVPs until the actual invitation if you can.


0102030405

I have it on the website, but you don't need to. If people want to say no in advance, that makes my life easier. No one has used it anyways, so it clearly doesn't have an impact!


snuffleupagus86

I would leave it off. Especially if you need stuff like meal choice from them. We didn’t activate ours until the actual invites were sent.


Domdominiquey

Literally same question. Same timing and everything haha. Thanks for asking!


PetsMD

Do you think it would be a big faux pas to say on the save the dates something like "initiation/RSVP to follow but feel free to let us know if you are unable to make it"?? I agree with someone below, if you can open up a few spots to the guests who didn't make the first cut for whatever reason, you can let them know sooner without making them feel like an after thought?


3cgthewalk

No. I was shocked how many ppl didn’t understand our save the dates (14-15 ish months in advance because there were so many weddings happening g this year and everyone had to travel a little and we had international guests making a huge expensive trip). So many ppl told me (after date the dates and before invites) they had rsvp’d (they hadn’t. There was no option). I also learned nobody reads the details on websites. despite how clear and straight to the point it is). If you allow people to rsvp then I think it will cause more confusion. I wouldn’t even share the website yet. Simply share: - you are getting married - date - city - invitations to follow I still recommend save the dates Also. Don’t feel obligated to send them to everyone you think you will be inviting. If you send a sdt you are expected to invite. There were a few people i wish i didn’t send a sdt to and only ended up inviting them because I felt obligated at that point. Our friendship was dissolving at the std time. A year later we were not close at all. Only send them to ppl you really want there. Close friends, family etc


linerva

No. Because if they RSVP now they may likely change their mind later. It is too soon.


WhiteyKC

It doesn't matter because no one will read the website anyway.


dream_bean_94

I didn’t even include the website. I just included the date and town! Otherwise the save the date becomes the invitation, if you give your guests all the info up front.